Please Help

[CyberFaust]

I didn't read anything about bruises, but I still can't help but be suspicious.

No rapist is generally going to stay for breakfast in bed after committing harm to a woman.

They're usually in and out fairly fast.

not really, he probably thought she wasn't going to do anything and just accept it
bastard, i hope he gets alien flesh-eating urinal parasites!

 

[tzarinna]

This is all so awful.
Keep us posted.

 

[Deep Thinkin'!]

The bruises led me to believe it was

Like the others have stated. Report as soon as you can, even if she tells you not to. I'm not going to ramble on about why because you've probably heard it all before.

I send you and her my condolences.

 

[nosebleed.]

Which leads me to be suspicious as to whether or not she was really raped (forcible sex) or whether it was a situation that simply went farther than she intended.

This is an idiotic statement. A "situation that simply went farther than she intended" is also considered a rape.

 

[hotmail]

This is an idiotic statement. A "situation that simply went farther than she intended" is also considered a rape.

Under the law, sure.

 

[kytrigger]

I didn't read anything about bruises, but I still can't help but be suspicious.

No rapist is generally going to stay for breakfast in bed after committing harm to a woman.

They're usually in and out fairly fast.

I know. I and have no doubt that he believes he did nothign wrong, that she really wanted it, but that deosn't mean it still isn't rape. Like I said, they talked a lot at the party previously, and she even gave him her number. It was obvious that she liked him.

That in no way justifies coming up to her apartment to give her an ID and then forcing himself on her. (her words obviously)He first asked for a goodnight kiss, she did give him one. He then tried for another and she said she was tired and just going to go to bed he pushed her against the wall an dforcibly kissed her. She pushes him away and said she wasn't feeling good and that she'll talk to him later. He got extremely mad/upset and told her he doesn't just try to hook up with girls, that he's not like that. He then foricbly kissed her again, only much harder. He then whiel still kissing her, took her and put her on her bed which is about 5-10 feet from the front door. That is when he held both of her arms and forcibly had sex with her. She has bruises on her wrists and forearms, and one small one on teh left side of her neck ( I d on't know if that one is from him or anything, but I do know it's there).

One of the things she was most broken up about was at this point all she did was constantly say please stop and cry, she didn't physically fight anymore. And the whole time he was telling her that he's a good catholic and doesn't sleep around and that he really likes her.

Afterwards she went into the bathroom and called me crying. He started yelling at her (and I mean angry yelling, this I actually heard over the phone) to come out of there and go to bed.



edit:

Also, I know that there are instances where the woman just regrets the decision and calls it rape. Trust me I know of that. I used to be the Risk Management Chair for a fraternity division and for my entire college. I had to deal with suspected cases a number of times.

The thing to note about simple regret turning into a fabrication of rape is that this didn't foloow that standard either.

Usually when this happens it isn't reported right away to anyone. The woman lets it fester ninside her worrying her until she just tells one of her firends the next day or week even. She told me immediately after it happened.

The only time it is usually "fabricated rape" immediately after it happened is when they are caught. At a party let's say and the woman is embarrased, can't think of what to say, and just says "it was rape". Once again not the case here, she was alone in her apartment, she wasn't caught by anyone. She actually initiated the knowledge of incident by calling me.

Like you said, it is rare for someone to rape and just stay there, well these things are incredibly rare for someone to do in "rape fabrication".

 

[tzarinna]

Wow.

 

[nosebleed.]

Under the law, sure.

 

[Colossal Spoons]

not really, he probably thought she wasn't going to do anything and just accept it
bastard, i hope he gets alien flesh-eating urinal parasites!

It's horrible that rapists can even make that assumption. Women need to never 2nd guess reporting it. The psychological effects must be THAT serious

I know what hotmail means. Sure, "rape" is against the law. But there's full out "back of an alley with a knife" rape and then there's "pressuring a woman to perform acts she doesn't want to" rape. They're both wrong but still diff.

 

[Noir]

I didn't read anything about bruises, but I still can't help but be suspicious. Especially since she neither wanted him to deal with the perp nor let the cops be involved.

No rapist is generally going to stay for breakfast in bed after committing harm to a woman.

They're usually in and out fairly fast.

Maybe he was a British rapist?

 

[Colossal Spoons]

Edit

 

[hotmail]

not really, he probably thought she wasn't going to do anything and just accept it
bastard, i hope he gets alien flesh-eating urinal parasites!

Let's be practical here.








Wish him a case of silverfish.

 

[Mr. Credible]

i've been in the situation a few times where myself and a girl have gotten drunk, had very concentual sex, and then the girl went crying rape the next day... it sucks in just about every way. sure, the girl was drunk and did something she may have not done sober, but so did i... i was drunk, too, and it goes both ways...

i'm not defending this guy at all, don't get me wrong, if he really did rape her, then he deserves to be put in jail and raped by a guy with a 14" cockle everyday... but, how well do you know this girl? did she maybe just drunkenly do something with this guy that she regrets? and is now trying to make herself not look so bad?

being on the wrong end of this stick a few times, i'm just saying... but either way, i'm sorry for your friend. it's just, the circumstances seem a bit weird (him staying the night, her giving him her number, them flirting, them both drinking)

 

[nosebleed.]

I know what hotmail means. Sure, "rape" is against the law. But there's full out "back of an alley with a knife" rape and then there's "pressuring a woman to perform acts she doesn't want to" rape. They're both wrong but still diff.

There may be different degrees of injury and traumatization...but I'd like you to tell a girl who was pressured to perform acts she doesn't want to that she wasn't raped as much as some other women.

 

[jaguarr]

No means no. After hearing the accounting of what took place, this guy definitely deserves to be charged with rape and possibly assault and battery. They could probably get him on a trespassing charge if he was there after she asked him to leave. Most cops hate rapists and go the extra mile to make sure they get what they deserve.

jag

 

[Mr. Credible]

There may be different degrees of injury and traumatization...but I'd like you to tell a girl who was pressured to perform acts she doesn't want to that she wasn't raped as much as some other women.

that's very true... but tell my friend, who slept with a girl a few years ago, who lied to him and told him she was 19, (when she was actually 16), who rode on top of him (i was in the room to verify this), then said she was raped the next day, that the court system is fair...

it's like the boy who cried wolf, sadly enough. you just can't belive every girl who says she was raped, because if you do, a lot of innocent, horny guys will go to jail.

i think every girl who is proven to have lied about being raped should be labled a sexual predator and sentenced to the jail time the guy who supposedley raped her would have been. why this doesn't happen is beyond me.

 

[kytrigger]

i've been in the situation a few times where myself and a girl have gotten drunk, had very concentual sex, and then the girl went crying rape the next day... it sucks in just about every way. sure, the girl was drunk and did something she may have not done sober, but so did i... i was drunk, too, and it goes both ways...

i'm not defending this guy at all, don't get me wrong, if he really did rape her, then he deserves to be put in jail and raped by a guy with a 14" cockle everyday... but, how well do you know this girl? did she maybe just drunkenly do something with this guy that she regrets? and is now trying to make herself not look so bad?

being on the wrong end of this stick a few times, i'm just saying... but either way, i'm sorry for your friend. it's just, the circumstances seem a bit weird (him staying the night, her giving him her number, them flirting, them both drinking)

The problem I have with the idea of her not looking bad is tht she didn't leave the party with him. He called her later that night when she was home alone to give her her ID back from her firend.

Also, on the whole regret turned to rape thing, i do understand what you are saying, but like you said, that usually happens the next day. Hell, it can even happen a week or month later. That's not what happened though. Once he was through, she immediately ran into the bathroom and called me, somethign that doesn'tr happen much in a regret turns to rtape scenario (unless someone walks in on them and they are embarassed.)

Plus, if she was trying to save face, she wouldn't have called me. I wasn't even at the party and had no idea what was going on that night. A lot f our friends are in different social circles as well ( I see ehr friends sometimes, but no too often)

And like I said earlier, the circumstance of himstaying over is weird, but that just firms up my belief that the guy thought he was completely in the right. But he didn't have to be thinking he was raping her to actually have done it.

 

[Mr. Credible]

No means no. After hearing the accounting of what took place, this guy definitely deserves to be charged with rape and possibly assault and battery. They could probably get him on a trespassing charge if he was there after she asked him to leave. Most cops hate rapists and go the extra mile to make sure they get what they deserve.

jag

again, seriously, i am in NO way defending this guy... please don't think i am. but, who's to say that she actually said no? who's to say that she told him to leave? what if they just had some good old fashioned drunk sex and the girl is feeling bad about it now? it's her word against his, and who would ever believe him, whether or not he is telling the truth?

again, i am not justifying what (supposedley) happened... but you never know.

 

[Mr. Credible]

The problem I have with the idea of her not looking bad is tht she didn't leave the party with him. He called her later that night when she was home alone to give her her ID back from her firend.

Also, on the whole regret turned to rape thing, i do understand what you are saying, but like you said, that usually happens the next day. Hell, it can even happen a week or month later. That's not what happened though. Once he was through, she immediately ran into the bathroom and called me, somethign that doesn'tr happen much in a regret turns to rtape scenario (unless someone walks in on them and they are embarassed.)

Plus, if she was trying to save face, she wouldn't have called me. I wasn't even at the party and had no idea what was going on that night. A lot f our friends are in different social circles as well ( I see ehr friends sometimes, but no too often)

And like I said earlier, the circumstance of himstaying over is weird, but that just firms up my belief that the guy thought he was completely in the right. But he didn't have to be thinking he was raping her to actually have done it.

like i said, it's a weird situation... it could go either way in my opinion...

but, it's the afternoon now, so, what's going on with your friend? she ought to be awake by now, right?

 

[nosebleed.]

i think every girl who is proven to have lied about being raped should be labled a sexual predator and sentenced to the jail time the guy who supposedley raped her would have been. why this doesn't happen is beyond me.

can't they countersue?

 

[Deep Thinkin'!]

Yeah, how is your friend doing now?

 

[jaguarr]

again, seriously, i am in NO way defending this guy... please don't think i am. but, who's to say that she actually said no? who's to say that she told him to leave? what if they just had some good old fashioned drunk sex and the girl is feeling bad about it now? it's her word against his, and who would ever believe him, whether or not he is telling the truth?

again, i am not justifying what (supposedley) happened... but you never know.

Yeah...drunk sex typically results in bruises on the girl's wrists, shoulders and neck and her calling a friend while hysterical in tears from the bathroom immediately after while the guy yells angrily for her to come back to bed in the background.

jag

 

[Mr. Credible]

can't they countersue?

would it do any good? honestly?

would the girl go to jail? i think not.

the system needs to be adjusted.

 

[Mr. Credible]

can't they countersue?

would it do any good? honestly?

would the girl go to jail? i think not.

the system needs to be adjusted.

 

[kytrigger]

like i said, it's a weird situation... it could go either way in my opinion...

but, it's the afternoon now, so, what's going on with your friend? she ought to be awake by now, right?

yeah, this morning around 6 she woke up and I went over to her apartment to get some stuff she needed (purse mainly). He was already gone which was probably for the best because that could have turned out real bad.

I got back to my place and talked to her some more and we finally got a hold of her sister who is her roommate but wasn't home last night. She came over to my place and all of us talked about it. I had already convinced her to go to the hospital to get tested and the morning after pill and her sister and I also convinced her to report it. I took both of them to the hospital, but after that I left them alone. It was apparent that it was still ver awkward for her and being with just her sister and not another male was probably best. They went in and did everything. Afterwards they both went back to their parent's hom ein the suburbs.

Since that, I haven't talked to her much. She's with her family which is best right now and it's probabyl hard for her to just talk about it over the phone anyway.


And I know that you aren't defending rape or anything like that but just trying to look at it from an outside view that isn't biased. Like you said, it is weird circumstances and I fully admit that. I do however believe she is telling me the truth but i do still respect your opinion and aren't pissed for simply being skeptical or anything.