Ugh....where do I start with this movie?
Okay, let me first talk about my perspective as I approached watching this. Growning up, Fantastic Four was one of my favorite comics. They were easily among my most followed comics and in my top 5 for series I own the most issues of. I bought a VHS years ago of the bootlegged Corman version just to see a live action version of one of my favorite teams. Though the movie is awful I still enjoyed watching it on some level because it was the closest I felt I was going to get. Then came the Tim Story films. My tastes matured by this time, and both Story films were less well received by me. I outright hate those movies, and the thing I hated most in all of them was Doom. The Tim Story Doom was a horrible take on Marvel's best villain. I regard FF as a 2/5 movie, and FF: ROTSS as a 1.5/5 movie. They get some aspects of the comic right, and Johnny and Ben by and large were good. Reed and Susan were awful and woefully acted.
As news came out about this reboot, I was immediately taken out of it due to the direction. The Fantastic Four were always one of the most light hearted comics in the Marvel pantheon, but despite the light hearted tone, the FF also had more of an emotional punch than most comics given the nature of the team being a family and most of their adventures had high stakes not just for the Earth, but the cosmos. The FF embraced sci-fi and fanstistical elements, and crafted one of the finest titles Marvel had for many years. Josh Trank decided to take this wonderful fantastical team and groudn them. He sought to make it a gritty and more real take on the team, and from the start that felt like a betrayel to what made the comic book good.
Now, this being a poor FF adaptation was clear form the start. But, now the question became can this be a good movie in its own right? Well, having now seen the movie, the answer to that is a resounding NO! Not only does this film strip away the appeal of what made the Fantastic Four Marvel's launchign pad for the Silver Age, it also manages to strip away any appeal of what makes a movie good. The performances are lazy, the style uninspired, and the pacing is slower than a Stephen King TV film. This movie manages to do nothing right, and be boring on top of it.
Let's talk about the cast in more detail. The only character with any personality is Miles Teller as the guy named Reed Richards. He plays a cowardly version of the character, and a not particularl intelligent one either. This Reed Richards has so little regard for his experiment, he didn't even know creating a black hole was possible? Nor bothered to examine the samples he got after the teleportation? What kind of scientist does that! The Reed of the comics would never be this careless, nor would he ABANDON his friends when they need him. Suffice to say, I found him a terrible person. Next come Johnny and Sue. Neither character has any personality, and they have absolutely no chemistry. Say what we will about Alba, but she HAD moments with Chris Evans that made me buy they were family. I never once bought these two as family. Sue has one expression the whole film, and Johnny never really does anything relevent.
Then comes poor Ben Grimm. Ben, who had NO reason to be on this mission other than he got a drunken call from Reed. The Thing was probably the most rightly done in that we felt bad for him, but there is NO justification within the story for him being in the mission. Also, it is great how no one cares that the government sends Ben on dangerous missions for 1 year, but suddenly when Johnny is about to go on them, we must act quickly and cure them! Everything that happens to poor Ben makes me think the other people in the film are horrendous human beings. Then there is Doom. Poor Doom. What did they do to you. They took one of the most brilliant minds in all of comics. Someone who rules his own people and stands up to gods themselves, and they made him basically my sister's loser ex-boyfriend. Are you kidding me? Then when he comes back in the story with his powers, there is NO explanation for why he is suddenly evil and wants to destroy the Earth. None. Crappy writing at its finest.
I wish I had more to say about the stylistic elements of the film and such, but to be frank, there is nothing to say about them. Say what we will about movies like Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, or even the Tim Story Fantastic four films, but at least those have moments of hilarity we can laugh at. This movie has no action, no personality, and no entertainment. Simply put, this is easily one of the biggest misses in the history of comic book films. It has earned the spot at being one of the worst of all-time. Movies like this deserve to fail, and the people who make them also deserve to be fired. They probably trashed the Fantastic Four brand for years, and that is terrible for a long time fan of the material. Hopefully someone who actually gives a crap about the property and sees the appeal and why we loved it in the first place takes care of it next time. The Fantastic Four have been mishandled on films since the 90s. Please have mercy and bring them back to prominance. Show the world why they basically created the Silver Age of comics for Marvel and as the First Family of comics. Don't continue to give it to people who make garbage like THIS movie.
Overall Rating: 1 out of 5
I award this no points, and may god NOT have mercy on Trank's soul.