Spider-Man 4 Screenplay

[red hood 4]

Poor Gwen, good work

 

[MrShifty]

INt. Daily Bugle - Day

Jameson walks through the office, barking orders left and right. He walks into his office and sits at his desk.

JAMESON
Lazy! They're all lazy!...men behind masks....they're all murderers.

Images flash across the screen.

IMAGE 1

Younger Jameson smiling happily with a girlfriend, they are in love.

JAMESON
One day I'm going to buy us as house in the City. I'm going to own my own newspaper , and we're going to raise a family. Marry me.

The girlfriend laughs in happiness.

IMAGE 2

Jameson is on the telephone, we hear the dark voice on the other line.

Jameson
I want answers.

Voice
The kingpin would appreciate it if you backed off Jameson...for your loved ones.

IMAGE 3

Bodies fly across the screen from Carnage, we are back in the Ravencroft Room through Jameson's eyes. Carnage lets out his high pitched laugh. We see the dead eyes of the young photographer.

IMAGE 4

The high pitch laugh turns to a lower pitch as a man in a ski mask steps out of the shadows into a kitchen. Jameson's girlfriend is cooking, we see Jameson's back sitting in a chair in the living room oblivious. BLAM! A shot goes off and Jameson's girl falls. Young Jameson runs to his girl's side as the man walks out the door, still laughing, still masked.

YOung JAMESON
oh...(breaking down)please...no..I'm sorry...please...I'm sorry...

We see her dead eyes, flash to the young photographers and back to her. Hey eyes open and she mouths...


Girlfriend
Mr. Jameson? Mr. Jameson?

But this is a voice we recognize. Jameson wakes out of his trance and it's really Betty Brant accompanied by Robbie and Hoffman.

BEtty
Sir...we're worried about you. You've been a traumatic experience.

JAMESON
Not the first time...(clears throat) A respectable journalist such as me can handle it.

Betty
Sir...you need to get help. See some-

JAMESON
Help!? HELP?! From who? Who was ever there for me!? I can handle myself just fine! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

HOFFMAN
Sir...please.

JAMESON
...get out of here.

ROBBIE
Sir, friend, Jonah. Just hear us ou-

JAMESON
If you three don't leave my office within the next ten seconds, you are all FIRED! NOW GET THE HELL OUT!

ROBBIE
(admitting defeat)...c'mon guys, let's leave him alone.

They all walk out of Jonah's office. The camera pulls back on the doorway as we see Jonah bury his face into his hands. showing this seemingly unbreakable man, invincible, break down. The door closes.

 

[red hood 4]

One word whoa .

 

[MrShifty]

c'mon guys feedback would be great

 

[MrShifty]

Betty sits back down at her desk when Peter walks up to the desk. Whistling, he's in a great mood.

PETER
Hey Betty. Jolly Jameson in a good mood today?

BETTY
Not now Peter. Just come back later.

PETER
What's wrong?

BETTY
Have you turned on a tv today? Seen the newspaper?

Peter was busy this morning, remember?

PETER
Naw, what's happening?

Betty doesn't say anything, she turns around and grabs a copy of the paper and hands it to Peter.

PETER
God...

INT. AN ABANDONED MATNENCE ROOM - Day

Eddie Brock sits on his mattress, staring at the newspaper.

EDDIE
That...we...we know that.

Eddie puts his finger to his forehead, thinking.

EDDIE
Jesus Christ no...we-I have to stop it.

Eddie gets up and paces.

EDDIE
How did I...not notice? How come you didn't tell me? (beat) You had to have known! (beat)Your right, it doesn't matter, what matters know is how we're going to handle it, before more innocent lives are lost. We're going to be the heroes this time.

INT. DAILY BUGLE - DAY

A man works at his cubicle, typing up an article. The man has neat blonde hair and is very focused on his article. Betty walks behind him.

Betty
Ned? (no answer) Ned? (imitating Jameson) LEEDS!

NED LEEDs
(startled)What?! huh?! What's going on?

BETTY
You said you were taking me out to lunch silly.

NED LEEDS
Oh yeah, of course. Let's go.

Ned saves his work and gets up. Ned and Betty walk away, into the elevator. Peter Parker comes out of the corner and sits at the desk.

PETER
Here we go...searching...Kletus Kassady.

A ton of articles pop up. Peter scrolls through them.

PETER
Busy man.

Peter clicks on one that reads "HISTORY OF A MAD MAN" by David Michelinie.

PETER (V.O)
(reading)raised in (orphanage name) showed signs of madness since parents died. No other relatives. May be responsible mysterious school related deaths. (beat) I have to find this guy. Maybe I should start at the orphanage. (beat) what are you saying Parker, you promised MJ. (beat) but this isn't someone like the Shocker, this is Kletus Kassady, Carnage. Just a quick check.

 

[red hood 4]

This is really good I love the way you have 4 or 5 characters in one scene I could never do that you should be very proud of yourself.

 

[UltimateJustin]

Peter clicks on one that reads "HISTORY OF A MAD MAN" by David Michelinie.

Nice homage.

 

[MrShifty]

Thanks Bro

 

[MrShifty]

Ext. New York city Streets - Nighttime

Spider-Man jumps from building to building.

SPIDER-MAN
She's going to kill me...

Bystander below takes photos with his camera phone. We see through the camera phone.

Bystander
Yo! Spidey! (to himself) I'm sending this into the Bugle.

SPIDER-MAN
Yeah, I'm dead.

Spider-Man gets to an old abandon building. It is pretty much falling apart.

SPIDER-MAN
Here it is.

Int. Orphanage - NIGHt

Spider-Man finds a hole in the roof and crawls through, sticking to the shadows. There is a light coming from the floor. A man is sitting down with a teddy bear, talking to it. It's KASSADY! The teddy bear is torn, dirty, and has stuffing coming out of it.

KASSADY
We're gonna make them see, aren't we Gruffy. Oh yes, all of them. Every last one.

SPIDER-MAN (whisper)
Wonder how many voices are going on inside his head.

KASSADY
What's that Gruffy? we have a visitor. Oh, well we mustn't be rude. Let's invite him in.

A red tentacle slivers behind Spider-Man, he doesn't notice it.

SPIDER-MAN
What?! How did he?-

A tentacle knocks Spider-Man to the ground at Kassady's feet. Spidey looks up and it's no longer Kassady, now Carnage stands.

CARNAGE
Well, join the party, man!

SPIDER-MAN
This party is kind of dead.

CARNAGE
Just how I like it!

Carnage grabs Spider-Man by the throat and tosses him into a wall. Carnage then forms tiny razors out of his symbiote claw and shoots them at Spider-Man. Spider-Man dodges but it nicked by one.

SPIDER-MAN
ah. Nice trick. But I know a goblin whose already done that.

CARNAGE
Trust me, I have much more up my sleeve man.

Carnage forms his hand into an ax and leaps at Spider-Man. Spider-Man cannot do anything but dodge his fierce attacks.

CARNAGE
Die! Die! DIE! ahahahahahaha!

A tentacle shoots at Spider-Man and Spidey grabs its and tosses Carnage into a wall.

SPIDER-MAN
See, doesn't feel that good. Does it?

CARNAGE
aww, now you've gone and made me mad!

Carnage shoots at a tentacle that throws Spidey through the wall and out into the streets. Spidey swings back into the building, but Carnage is nowhere to be found.

Spidey walks up to a wall where it seems Carnage wrote on, with HIS OWN BLOOD! The wall reads, CARNAGE RULEZ!

SPIDER-MAN
Wow, an artist too.

Int. City Streets - Night

Spider-Man sits on top the Empire State Building, deep in thought.

SPIDER-MAN
What the hell was that? It was Kassady, but the new and improved version...didn't set off my spider sense either...almost reminded me off...(comes to a sudden realization) another symbiote! God...I've got to stop that maniac.

Spider-Man leaps, and does a swan dive into the streets. He shoots out a web line and swings down the street. Gracefully.

SPIDER-MAN
But Venom could never detach the symbiote like Carnage could. Not to mention that Kassady psychotic mind has binded so well with the symbiote, that he refers to himself as I, not we. I can't rest with this maniac on the loose, and I'm going to need help.

 

[red hood 4]

Ahhhhhhhh poor Carnage. who is Gruffy the Symbiote,imaginary freiind or both? Great by the way

 

[MrShifty]

gruffy is the teddy bear lol

 

[Cartman Blues]

This is still awesome!

 

[MrShifty]

This is still awesome!

Thanks for the feedback bro

 

[arachnid-guy]

Well it's okay, but I can definitely tell you're a 13 year old Symbiote fan boy.

 

[MrShifty]

If you're not gonna leave constructive critism then don't come in here. Just becuase you don't like symbiotes doesn't mean that you have to bash me. If you think there is anything wrong with the story or dialogue, tell me. Don't pretend you know so much more than anyone else because your "above" a symbiote story. they are just fictional characters, no need to get worked up about it. kid.

 

[red hood 4]

If you're not gonna leave constructive critism then don't come in here. Just becuase you don't like symbiotes doesn't mean that you have to bash me. If you think there is anything wrong with the story or dialogue, tell me. Don't pretend you know so much more than anyone else because your "above" a symbiote story. they are just fictional characters, no need to get worked up about it. kid.

Go Mr Shifty

 

[arachnid-guy]

The dialogue is stilted and hammy especially in the first act. It doesn't read like a good story, i'm sorry. Work on your screenplay, bruv
The key to a good screenplay is to primarally let the scenery show the audience what's happening at the time of the scene. Having someone actively telling you whats happening in that scene is bad writing, it doesn't work effectively. Some of the dialogue suggests this, like the scenes with Peter and Betty. Its really best not to have the characters SAY anything at all, let the environment speak for itself.

The relationship between MJ/Peter is even worse than in the movies. Tone it down a lot- it's sickenly unrealistic and too sugary to translate properly. Id take the stalker Peter relationship, anyday.

You sure you're not 12? work on your dialogue and overall story layout, basically. The story isn't that coherrent and there's quite a lot to follow even in the first act- it's quite confusing with the inclusion of the wedding. Also, how were you going ot finish the 'best man' line about Harry- 'I wouldve asked him...but he's dead.'

A

 

[MrShifty]

The dialogue is stilted and hammy especially in the first act. It doesn't read like a good story, i'm sorry. Work on your screenplay, bruv
The key to a good screenplay is to primarally let the scenery show the audience what's happening at the time of the scene. Having someone actively telling you whats happening in that scene is bad writing, it doesn't work effectively. Some of the dialogue suggests this, like the scenes with Peter and Betty. Its really best not to have the characters SAY anything at all, let the environment speak for itself.

The relationship between MJ/Peter is even worse than in the movies. Tone it down a lot- it's sickenly unrealistic and too sugary to translate properly. Id take the stalker Peter relationship, anyday.

You sure you're not 12? work on your dialogue and overall story layout, basically. The story isn't that coherrent and there's quite a lot to follow even in the first act- it's quite confusing with the inclusion of the wedding. Also, how were you going ot finish the 'best man' line about Harry- 'I wouldve asked him...but he's dead.'

A

ok, at least you actually gave me something to work on rather than just coming in and showing acting like your better than everyone. Thanks for the feed. I can work on that.

 

[arachnid-guy]

Sometimes I go off on one mate- the perils of real-life dramataz. Apologies. No hard feelings, eh?

You do show promise, though. But yes...if there's one thing I can say as some advice- read read read.

And read some more.

 

[Pluto]

SP 4 Already?

 

[MrShifty]

Sometimes I go off on one mate- the perils of real-life dramataz. Apologies. No hard feelings, eh?

You do show promise, though. But yes...if there's one thing I can say as some advice- read read read.

And read some more.

no biggie bro. It is my first screenplay. Lately I've been trying to read all different types of screenplays and I'm trying to find a good book to get into. I can see what your saying with the MJ/Peter relationship. I look at this and know that needs work.

I'm 17 by the way. hahaha

 

[batman11]

I admire what you're doing an commend you for throwing out your ideas for a possible Spider-Man 4, but I have to tell you, I was when I read this:

Spidey walks up to a wall where it seems Carnage wrote on, with HIS OWN BLOOD! The wall reads, CARNAGE RULEZ!

Don't take it personal, I just found it really funny.

 

[MrShifty]

I admire what you're doing an commend you for throwing out your ideas for a possible Spider-Man 4, but I have to tell you, I was when I read this:



Don't take it personal, I just found it really funny.

just that part or the whole script? I meant for that to be funny and a little homage to the comics.

 

[batman11]

just that part or the whole script? I meant for that to be funny and a little homage to the comics.

Well, I haven't read the entire thing, but from what I have read, you seem to know what you want to convey, which is a good thing, but the execution is a bit...I'm not sure what the right word is. I don't wanna say childish, because that's too much of an extreme when dealing with what I'm trying to say, however, perhaps it's just the simplistic dialog and your form of writing that's throwing me off - the lack of professionalism in the descriptions and dialog and such. I don't want to come off as a jerk or anything, but I can't really come up with the proper terms to describe the situation.

Either way, as I stated, I admire what you're doing, and enjoy the fact that you're willing to get your thoughts out there for other people to read. Keep up the good work.

 

[MrShifty]

Well, I haven't read the entire thing, but from what I have read, you seem to know what you want to convey, which is a good thing, but the execution is a bit...I'm not sure what the right word is. I don't wanna say childish, because that's too much of an extreme when dealing with what I'm trying to say, however, perhaps it's just the simplistic dialog and your form of writing that's throwing me off - the lack of professionalism in the descriptions and dialog and such. I don't want to come off as a jerk or anything, but I can't really come up with the proper terms to describe the situation.

Either way, as I stated, I admire what you're doing, and enjoy the fact that you're willing to get your thoughts out there for other people to read. Keep up the good work.

I definitly do need work. It is my first screenplay. So thanks for the feed. its only going to make me better.

Do you think I have potential though? Like do I have a good story, it's just the overall delivery on it?
Thanks again bro