SPIDER-MAN: "Give us your lunch money!"
IRON MAN: "Keep your lunch money - give us your booze!"
MR. FANTASTIC: "What do I need to use protection for?! She's my wife for crying out loud!"
SPIDER-MAN: "Dude, I'm just saying that in case you end up just up & disappearing for like 5 years forcing her to raise your kid or kids with somebody else without leaving so much as a post it note on the fridge because you found saying goodbye & explaining why like a mature adult too difficult-"
MR. FANTASTIC: "Oh come on, even I'm not that blatantly insensitive! Superman may be that blatantly insensitive, but I'm sure as Hell not!"
THING: "Why are you trying to kill us?!"
SPIDER-MAN: "Because you were looking for the Holy Grail!"
THING: "My father was looking for the Grail, did you kill him too?!"
SPIDER-MAN: "No!"
THING: "Where is he?! Talk or you're dead! Damn it tell me!! Tell me!!!" [a giant evil special effect is approaching]
SPIDER-MAN: "If you don't let go we'll both die!"
THING: "Then we'll die!"
SPIDER-MAN: "My soul is prepared, how's yours?"
THING: "This is your last chance!"
SPIDER-MAN: "No... it's yours!"
SPIDER-MAN: "Well, now that I'm a swinging single again-"
INVISIBLE WOMAN: "Stop right there. We are both happily married to heroes who are twice the man you are and no, we will not have rebound sex with you."
STORM: "Now begone impotent one, before we find out what happens to a spider when it's struck by lightning!"
SPIDER-MAN: "A simple 'no' would have sufficed."
SPIDER-MAN: "Okay, anybody got a clue about the plot? Mr. F? Storm? Cap, you've got the shield, you must know."
CAPTAIN AMERICA: "Me? It's your show man, I'm just a guest star trying to get myself some exposure with the new crowd."
MR. FANTASTIC: "Why yes, I am played by none other than Cam Clarke, who was also the voice of Leonardo & Rockstead in the 1980s Ninja Turtles series before he went on to be the voice of Liquid Snake and after that the voice of our own Thor for the Marvel video games and another beefly blonde hero, He-Man/Prince Adam for the 2002 Mike Young He-Man series. While you, my wholesomely lovely little kitten, are voiced by former Saturday Night Live player Gail Matthius, who was also the voice of Shirley McLoon on Tiny Toons."
INVISIBLE WOMAN: "Oh Reed, you always turn me on with your vast endless knowledge of the world..."
SPIDER-MAN: "Uh, people? Secret Wars?"
HUMAN TORCH: "Shut up Spidey, Sue doesn't get enough action as it is, let her have her five minutes before we all start fighting for our lives again."
SPIDER-MAN: "Oh okay..."