The Dirty Joke Thread

[rodhulk]

Why are you going back and bumping old threads started by "rodhulk"? Is it because YOU are rodhulk?

jag

Hahahahahahahaha! Another Hype lowlife.

 

[rodhulk]

A cop is patrolling Lover's Lane when he sees the strangest thing. A young teenage couple is sitting in a car, the guy in the front and the girl in the back. The guy is reading a magazine and the girl appears to be knitting.

He stops the patrol car and walks over to knock on the young man's window. He rolls the window down.

"Yes officer?"

"I have to ask you, what are you doing?"

"Well sir, I am reading a magazine."

"What about the young lady in the backseat?"

The young man turns to look behind him. "Well, I think she is knitting a pullover sweater."

"How old are you young man?" the officer asks.

"I am 25 Officer."

"And the girl?"

The young man looks at his watch. "Well, she'll be 18 in 11 minutes."

Great one.

 

[rodhulk]

This stand up guy asks his crowd.....
"Has anyone ever had sex with a ghost?"
Not expecting anybody to lift their hand, he's about to go on when he notices somebody's hand up way in the back row.
He finds this real odd, so he asks "You, sir, with your hand up, you've had sex with a ghost?"
The guy with his hand up quickly puts it down and replies... " No, no, sorry, I thought you said goat!"

 

[rodhulk]

Got a great one here:

A husband and wife decided they needed to use the "code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their child in on it. They decided on the word 'Typewriter.'
One day, the husband told his five year old daughter, "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter." The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, "Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now cause there is a red ribbon in the typewriter."
The child went back to tell her father what mommy said.
A few days later, the mom told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now."
The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand."

 

[JoeyVimsanteThe]

Here are some;

1/ You remind me of my penis because you are fat, ugly, bald, and you are also a penis.

2/ If I wanted the opinion of a hairy bu*hole. I would have farted.

3/ If I wanted the opinion of a penis, I would have unzipped my flies.


Here is a bonus joke.

Two guys are having a debate about what is the best part of a chicken to eat. One says the breast, one says the leg.

Then their friend comes in and says what are you talking about?

The friend replies we were wondering what is the best part a breast or a leg.
The friend replies neither personally I am a vagina and *hole type of guy.

 

[JoeyVimsanteThe]

I am half Scottish and half Welsh.
So when I see a haggis I do not know whether to eat it or have .........

I can say that as I really am half Scottish and half Welsh.