The "I gotta rant about how horrible this movie is" thread

[aaron]

Street Fighter

 

[aaron]

**** the original War of the Worlds. Boring. Effects were just plain horrible. Made in the wrong time.

**** Napolean Dynamite. Apart from the dance scene, the rest was just bad. It's way too overrated. Too random and and slow-paced. And I'm a patient person.

**** House of a 1000 Corpses. Shut it off 10 minutes into the film. Just couldn't stand to go through with the whole thing.

**** The Pink Panther. Never ever let Beyoncé act. Ever again. Never.

**** The Long Weekend. Horrible acting, horrible plot and horrible movie. Why did I waste my money on this crap?

**** Son of the Mask. I'm just gonna pretend that this movie was never made, kthx.

**** Elektra. Ninjas were boring. I mean, how can NINJAS be boring? It's just impossible. I was proven wrong, unfortunately.

I diasagree strongly with you about Napoleon Dynamite, but agree with pretty much the rest

 

[Mr. Credible]

All of them, except for "Reeker", "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory", "When a Stranger Calls" and "Silent Hill".

huh... so you're saying that you hate these movies, even though you haven't seen them? really?

and you're supposed to be a film "aficianado"?

 

[Dr. Fate]

AMEN! Kill Bill is the most overrated piece of garbage I have ever seen. Its a lifeless, soulless, pointless collage of other much better movies. Reminds me of Spy Hard or any other crappy spoof movie, but heres the difference: It takes itself seriously! BOOOOOOO!!! What a turd. Not even an hour and a half worth of plot spread as thin as humanly possible. The ultimate example of self indulgent style-over-any substance-whatsoever! Hate that movie! I hate Reservoir Dogs too! Same crap only more BORING! I do like Pulp Fiction though so Ill give the guy some credit. I know he can make movies, I just dont think he can write them. Unfortunately after I bring this up with anyone they lose all respect for me..

Lucy Liu: silly rabbit
Uma: Trix are for kids

BARF!

It's nice to know it's okay to dislike Quentin Tarantino films. I'm often yelled at by others for not liking his work.

I hate Robocop 2 and Robocop 3 (though 2 has better spectacle than 3).

 

[Bat Attack]

Mission to Mars. OH MY GAWWWWWWD! How did this mother****ing piece of ass raping **** get greenlighted? What a stupid ****ing movie. *Turns Sarcastic* "Oh let make a movie about astronauts who go to mars and discover an alien civilization that colonized earth 10 billion years ago. We can add some really really REALLY bad CGI too. And we can cast that dog faced Gary Sinese in the lead role." What the hell were they thinking!?!?!?! **** this goddamn movie, I want to go melt the master print in acid and shoot the remains in to the sun.

 

[JackBauer]

one movie that got me seriously pissed off was Irriversible. it got some rave reviews, which I just cannot understand. my problem wasn't even with the infamous ten minute graphic rape scene with Monica Belucci, which so many found so disgusting that the rest of the movie didn't even matter.

my real beef is actually EVERYTHING ELSE. for instance, the backwards story structure, which, unlike in Memento, serves absolutely NO PURPOSE other than the "shock" of the reveal, in the end of the movie, that oh!, she was pregnant. well la-de-f***in-da, if that's not one of the cheapest ways to get me to care about a character.

then again, that was nothing close to the nonsensical idiocy of The Tulse Luper Suitcases: The Moab Story. the only movie I've ever walked out of. and in the part of the movie I did watch, I looked at my watch and yawned every five minutes.

I cannot stress enough how nonsensical this thing was. it was f***in annoying.

 

[Bat Attack]

Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare...
Okay, I'm a huge Nightmare on elm street fan, but I can't believe New Line would allow this **** to be greenlit. I mean, yeah I know they were in it just for the money after ANOES 4 (which is evident in the very rushed production and release of ANOES 5 which came out less than a year after ANOES 4). The deaths were stupid, as were the special effects. The continuity was strange (unlike ANOES 5 which took place in 1989 which is mentioned in the movie, freddys dead takes place "10 years from now" which in 1991 would be 2001 but that means that somehow springwood would go from being a ghosttown back to a thriving well populated town in 2 years because Freddy vs Jason takes place in 2003). The only good thing about this **** is that it showed alot of his past when he was a child and stuff.

 

[XCharlieX]

I hate Robocop 2 and Robocop 3 (though 2 has better spectacle than 3).

lol I am wondering what theyre going to do with the remake. New look, new everything i hear.

 

[Mr. Credible]

one movie that got me seriously pissed off was Irriversible. it got some rave reviews, which I just cannot understand. my problem wasn't even with the infamous ten minute graphic rape scene with Monica Belucci, which so many found so disgusting that the rest of the movie didn't even matter.

my real beef is actually EVERYTHING ELSE. for instance, the backwards story structure, which, unlike in Memento, serves absolutely NO PURPOSE other than the "shock" of the reveal, in the end of the movie, that oh!, she was pregnant. well la-de-f***in-da, if that's not one of the cheapest ways to get me to care about a character.

then again, that was nothing close to the nonsensical idiocy of The Tulse Luper Suitcases: The Moab Story. the only movie I've ever walked out of. and in the part of the movie I did watch, I looked at my watch and yawned every five minutes.

I cannot stress enough how nonsensical this thing was. it was f***in annoying.

that rape scene was pretty graphic... even i had to fast forward through it.

 

[gvcool2]

MOTHER ****ING SOLARIS!! My god, i've sat through some crap in my time, and have a reasonable tolerance for slow plots, but I generally felt like i slipped into a coma for the duration of that movie so much so that i woke up outside the cinema before the film had ended...whats worse it got rave reviews!

 

[The Kid]

Street Fighter

Aww come on. Ming Na was great.

 

[XCharlieX]

Street Fighter

lmao what did you expect?

 

[JackBauer]

that rape scene was pretty graphic... even i had to fast forward through it.

I honestly expected much worse, after everything I'd heard about it.

 

[XCharlieX]

And another thing, if they were to do streetfighter in a more coherent manner it wouldve looked like Bloodsport but weirder heh.

And i dabbled in Robocop as a young teenager but i think id much more prefer they remake the entire thing and play it completely straight and set it in a more real detroit. That could be pretty good.

 

[gvcool2]

that rape scene was pretty graphic... even i had to fast forward through it.

I kinda enjoyed it...

 

[Goddessreicho]

Underworld and the sequel (How in the world did the first one get ok'd. It was worse than water torture)

The entire Matrix trilogy

Return of the King

Daredevil (Ben Afflect needs a new career path, god knows he can't bloody act to save his soul)

Elelectra

Iron Monkey crap

Fantastic Four

Sky High

Any spy movie

Hulk

Superman Returns

Batman and Robin

anything with Tryese in it

anything with DMX in it

anything with Lindsey Lohan in it

Anything that has to do with Shawn and Marlon Wayons

Van Hellsing

Kevin Coster's post apocolyptic movies

I'll name more later...

 

[JackBauer]

that's not really a rant...

 

[batman7289]

Spider-Man

everything about these movies are assed backwards.

Blonde to redhead/Redhead to Blonde
Gwen Stacy to Mj/ Mj to Gwen Stacy
topher is brock and not parker.
webshooters not believalbe but a man made out of 20 foot sand of himself is..

the two leads are horrible.
peter parker is an appealing character becuase hes not depressed and so serious like batman, hes not perfect like superman. Parker is funny and charismatic and tobey maguire is a walking stiff.

comic parker cracks jokes, the movie parker has clutsy things happen to him which makes him out to be a walking dumbass that the audiance laughs at and not with him.

Mary Jane is Kirstin Dunst.

the spider man movies are okay movies, there solid movies based on the superman franchise which is annoying to see when spider mans comics visuals are so abundant and can be used instead of a superman ripping off shirt scene.

no webshooters, crappy costumes watered down plots.

the spider man movies by sam rami, tobey maguire and dunst is not what spider man is. at all. its an unapealing love story, with two depressed unapealing leads, and pussysypmathectic villains.

u must be a jackasss
spiderman kicked ass

 

[Immortalfire]

Underworld and the sequel (How in the world did the first one get ok'd. It was worse than water torture)

The entire Matrix trilogy

Return of the King

Daredevil (Ben Afflect needs a new career path, god knows he can't bloody act to save his soul)

Elelectra

Iron Monkey crap

Fantastic Four

Sky High

Any spy movie

Hulk

Superman Returns

Batman and Robin

anything with Tryese in it

anything with DMX in it

anything with Lindsey Lohan in it

Anything that has to do with Shawn and Marlon Wayons

Van Hellsing

Kevin Coster's post apocolyptic movies

I'll name more later...

I think you made an error, please correct.

 

[batman7289]

now the movie bloodrayne sucked

 

[batman7289]

I think you made an error, please correct.

that guy made a **** load of errors

 

[Goddessreicho]

Nope. The last 30 mins made me want to pull out my hair, which is real btw. There was about another 30 mins in the middle that nearly put me to sleep and it had slower pacing than the first one which I didn't think was possible.

But the first two were fine. I loved the second one. I heart the Ents.

Don't tell me to read the books. I have over and over. I just hated the ending.

AND FOR ****'S sake I am a girl. GoddESS

 

[aaron]

Underworld and the sequel (How in the world did the first one get ok'd. It was worse than water torture) First is good, second i agree

The entire Matrix trilogy - First one definitely not, 2nd and 3rd - meh

Return of the King -Definitely not

Daredevil (Ben Afflect needs a new career path, god knows he can't bloody act to save his soul) - Director's Cut is very very good

Elelectra - I agree, so ****ing ****

Iron Monkey crap

Fantastic Four - Good family fun, nothing more, nothing less

Sky High - Meh

Any spy movie - James Bond...etc, definitely wrong there dude

Hulk - dont underestimate it

Superman Returns - Amazing movie

Batman and Robin - hehe

anything with Tryese in it - hes decent

anything with DMX in it - ditto

anything with Lindsey Lohan in it - but...MEAN GIRLS!!

Anything that has to do with Shawn and Marlon Wayons - Some stuff good, some bad, but Marlon Wayans, an amazing actor, check out Requiem For A Dream

Van Hellsing - Pretty crap

Kevin Coster's post apocolyptic movies - Dont be harsh

I'll name more later...

 

[aaron]

Nope. The last 30 mins made me want to pull out my hair, which is real btw. There was about another 30 mins in the middle that nearly put me to sleep and it had slower pacing than the first one which I didn't think was possible.

But the first two were fine. I loved the second one. I heart the Ents.

Don't tell me to read the books. I have over and over. I just hated the ending.

AND FOR ****'S sake I am a girl. GoddESS

The Ents were the worst thing out of the three, they just weren't needed, simple enough

 

[Goddessreicho]

An arbitrary group who couldn't care less and managed to make me smile through the good vs evil monontany, oh yeah they were definitly needed.