The New Ultimate DC RPG: Sign-Up/OOC Thread

[Optikal]

Ok her it is, my app for,
Atrocitus, i realize he isnt using the name atrocitus yet, that figures in later, well heres what i came ehere for
. Application .
. THE NEW ULTIMATE DC RPG .
Character Application
.Screen name: sabetoonth

.Character you wish to portray: Atrocitus

.Hero, villain, or walking the line?: Walk the Line

.Powers and physical attributes: Atrocitus possesses superhuman strength and durability; strong enough to toss a
construction digger and durable enough to withstand bullets.Atrocitus's capture by the Empire of Tears , which put him in such a rage his GL ring became a Red Lantern ring. the ring has the same abilities as the GL rings however they run on rage, atrocitus has the ability to form hard light constructs, though more commonly using simple blasts of energy, which are corrosive to the energy auruas of other
lanterns.

.Origin and backstory (as you see it):
As a former green lantern atrocitus was one of the best the corp had seen in a long time. During a routine excercise
on an unrecorded planet, Atrocitus witnessed the total annihilation of the planet by the Empire of Tears terrorist
organization. Captured he was helpless to save the doomed planet and her inhabitants. As an extra blow to the lantern
he was forced to watch his own planet, were lived his family, his wife, and children, destroyed, just becuase he
had been cuaght. This brought the experienced lantern into such a rage his power ring was engulfed in red energy, he
ahnnihilated the ship, ripped the leaders of the Empire limb from limb, and then destroyed the weapon all in a blind rage
sparing no one, not the women, or the children, or the infants or innocent captives, they all parished.

Atrocitus was tracked down and arrested by a large group of GL's. However, he slew them all, save sinestro, who quickly
defeated the Red Lantern when his rage was suprising calmed by the hardlight constructs of his wife and children.
Dispelled from the Corp, Atrocitus returned to his enraged state after being seperated from his corrupted ring, which
was stored away, far from the reach of any sentient beings but the gaurdians. Atrocitus is awaiting trial for the murders
of the entire crew, families members, and captives of the Empire of Tears

.The burning question - Why this character?: I figure i can take the character in an interesting direction.
.How will this version of your character differ from others? How will it be Ultimate?: This atrocitus has strong
willpower being a former GL driven into a nrealy unstapable homocidal rage. He will try to reaquire his own ring and if
successfi, destroy the gaurdians and more importantly to Atrocitus, sinsestro will pay, in blood, tears, and fear.

.What do you believe you can bring to the RPG?: I can bring a more character driven writing style, and a new take on
evne a new character

.Provide a sample post as the character you wish to portray, in three paragraphs or more:
The cell walls were all too familiar to Aknir, the ssame cell walls he had been sourrounded by the entire time he
had awaited official expulsion from the GL corp.
"Times come for the transportation of the prisoner" a fellow corpmen looked inside the cell. Akrin look up at him, he
was bound for his stregnth was consderable even without hiw power ring.
"I had every right to do what i did, i saved countless lives by destroying just that one ship"Akrin said defensivly as he was walked to the cargo hold.
"You killed when there was no reason, you got emotional Akrin, as a GL you are not to get emotional" Shozabori scolded his
former fellow lantern.
"Next time your bound and chained, and you watch your own planet, all those you hold dear, vaporized, and have
the perpetrator laugh at it, then you tell me not to get emotional" Akrin sat on the bench, though he seemed only mildly
irratated, inside him brewed a hellstrom of rage, just waiting to be unleashed.
Somewhere across Oa, in the vault of the gaurdians, his formerly green Lantern ring seems to pulls itslef to the door, but helplessley drops upon impact. But it skidded across the floor, and banged agaisnt the door harder, and harder, until...it broke the three foot thick carbonated stell doors; zipping through space to find its weidler.

.Do you know how to post pictures on the Hype?:

you mean like that?

Dude, why do you start new paragraphs right in the middle of new sentences?

 

[Trigger]

That application was a little rushed. You should honestly take a look at the other apps.

 

[sabetoonth]

Dude, why do you start new paragraphs right in the middle of new sentences?

i dont see that, maybe poin them out?

 

[Byrd Man]

i dont see that, maybe poin them out?

You can't see how disjointed this post is?

The cell walls were all too familiar to Aknir, the ssame cell walls he had been sourrounded by the entire time he
had awaited official expulsion from the GL corp.
"Times come for the transportation of the prisoner" a fellow corpmen looked inside the cell. Akrin look up at him, he
was bound for his stregnth was consderable even without hiw power ring.
"I had every right to do what i did, i saved countless lives by destroying just that one ship"Akrin said defensivly as he was walked to the cargo hold.
"You killed when there was no reason, you got emotional Akrin, as a GL you are not to get emotional" Shozabori scolded his
former fellow lantern.
"Next time your bound and chained, and you watch your own planet, all those you hold dear, vaporized, and have
the perpetrator laugh at it, then you tell me not to get emotional" Akrin sat on the bench, though he seemed only mildly
irratated, inside him brewed a hellstrom of rage, just waiting to be unleashed.
Somewhere across Oa, in the vault of the gaurdians, his formerly green Lantern ring seems to pulls itslef to the door, but helplessley drops upon impact. But it skidded across the floor, and banged agaisnt the door harder, and harder, until...it broke the three foot thick carbonated stell doors; zipping through space to find its weidler.

I don't see anything wrong grammatically, but it looks like you're writing a goddamn hikau or something. You see how we do in our posts, right? It looks fractured, disjointed and confusing.

 

[sabetoonth]

You can't see how disjointed this post is?



I don't see anything wrong grammatically, but it looks like you're writing a goddamn hikau or something. You see how we do in our posts, right? It looks fractured, disjointed and confusing.

uhhm honeslty no i dont even know what disjointed means in this context, could ya help me fix it then?
thank you if you do

 

[Byrd Man]

The cell walls were all too familiar to Aknir, the ssame cell walls he had been sourrounded by the entire time he
had awaited official expulsion from the GL corp.
"Times come for the transportation of the prisoner" a fellow corpmen looked inside the cell. Akrin look up at him, he
was bound for his stregnth was consderable even without hiw power ring.
"I had every right to do what i did, i saved countless lives by destroying just that one ship"Akrin said defensivly as he was walked to the cargo hold.
"You killed when there was no reason, you got emotional Akrin, as a GL you are not to get emotional" Shozabori scolded his
former fellow lantern.
"Next time your bound and chained, and you watch your own planet, all those you hold dear, vaporized, and have
the perpetrator laugh at it, then you tell me not to get emotional" Akrin sat on the bench, though he seemed only mildly
irratated, inside him brewed a hellstrom of rage, just waiting to be unleashed.
Somewhere across Oa, in the vault of the gaurdians, his formerly green Lantern ring seems to pulls itslef to the door, but helplessley drops upon impact. But it skidded across the floor, and banged agaisnt the door harder, and harder, until...it broke the three foot thick carbonated stell doors; zipping through space to find its weidler.

The cell walls were all too familiar to Aknir, the ssame cell walls he had been sourrounded by the entire time he had awaited official expulsion from the GL corp.

"Times come for the transportation of the prisoner" a fellow corpmen looked inside the cell.

Akrin look up at him, he was bound for his stregnth was consderable even without hiw power ring.

"I had every right to do what i did, i saved countless lives by destroying just that one ship"Akrin said defensivly as he was walked to the cargo hold.

"You killed when there was no reason, you got emotional Akrin, as a GL you are not to get emotional" Shozabori scolded his former fellow lantern.

"Next time your bound and chained, and you watch your own planet, all those you hold dear, vaporized, and have the perpetrator laugh at it, then you tell me not to get emotional"

Akrin sat on the bench, though he seemed only mildly irratated, inside him brewed a hellstrom of rage, just waiting to be unleashed.

Somewhere across Oa, in the vault of the gaurdians, his formerly green Lantern ring seems to pulls itslef to the door, but helplessley drops upon impact. But it skidded across the floor, and banged agaisnt the door harder, and harder, until...it broke the three foot thick carbonated stell doors; zipping through space to find its weidler.

Now do you see what I mean, or do I need to draw you a picture?

 

[sabetoonth]

oh, just double space it? ok that i can do

 

[sabetoonth]

Ok her it is, my app for,
Atrocitus, i realize he isnt using the name atrocitus yet, that figures in later, well heres what i came ehere for
. Application .
. THE NEW ULTIMATE DC RPG .
Character Application
.Screen name: sabetoonth

.Character you wish to portray: Atrocitus

.Hero, villain, or walking the line?: Walk the Line

.Powers and physical attributes: Atrocitus possesses superhuman strength and durability; strong enough to toss a
construction digger and durable enough to withstand bullets.Atrocitus's capture by the Empire of Tears, put him in such a rage his GL ring became a Red Lantern ring. the ring has the same abilities as the GL rings however they run on rage, Atrocitus has the ability to form hard light constructs, though more commonly using simple blasts of energy, which are corrosive to the energy auruas of other
lanterns.

.Origin and backstory (as you see it):
As a former green lantern atrocitus was one of the best the corp had seen in a long time. During a routine excercise
on an unrecorded planet, Atrocitus witnessed the total annihilation of the planet by the Empire of Tears terrorist
organization. Captured he was helpless to save the doomed planet and her inhabitants. As an extra blow to the lantern
he was forced to watch his own planet, were lived his family, his wife, and children, destroyed, just becuase he
had been cuaght. This brought the experienced lantern into such a rage his power ring was engulfed in red energy, he
ahnnihilated the ship, ripped the leaders of the Empire limb from limb, and then destroyed the weapon all in a blind rage
sparing no one, not the women, or the children, or the infants or innocent captives, they all parished.

Atrocitus was tracked down and arrested by a large group of GL's. However, he slew them all, save sinestro, who quickly
defeated the Red Lantern when his rage was suprising calmed by the hardlight constructs of his wife and children.
Dispelled from the Corp, Atrocitus returned to his enraged state after being seperated from his corrupted ring, which
was stored away, far from the reach of any sentient beings but the gaurdians. Atrocitus is awaiting trial for the murders
of the entire crew, families members, and captives of the Empire of Tears

.The burning question - Why this character?: I figure i can take the character in an interesting direction.
.How will this version of your character differ from others? How will it be Ultimate?: This atrocitus has strong
willpower being a former GL driven into a nrealy unstapable homocidal rage. He will try to reaquire his own ring and if
successfi, destroy the gaurdians and more importantly to Atrocitus, sinsestro will pay, in blood, tears, and fear.

.What do you believe you can bring to the RPG?: I can bring a more character driven writing style, and a new take on
evne a new character

.Provide a sample post as the character you wish to portray, in three paragraphs or more:
The cell walls were all too familiar to Aknir, the ssame cell walls he had been sourrounded by the entire time he had awaited official expulsion from the GL corp.

"Times come for the transportation of the prisoner" a fellow corpmen looked inside the cell.

Akrin look up at him, he was bound for his stregnth was consderable even without hiw power ring.

"I had every right to do what i did, i saved countless lives by destroying just that one ship"Akrin said defensivly as he was walked to the cargo hold.

"You killed when there was no reason, you got emotional Akrin, as a GL you are not to get emotional" Shozabori scolded his former fellow lantern.

"Next time your bound and chained, and you watch your own planet, all those you hold dear, vaporized, and have the perpetrator laugh at it, then you tell me not to get emotional"

Akrin sat on the bench, though he seemed only mildly irratated, inside him brewed a hellstrom of rage, just waiting to be unleashed.

Somewhere across Oa, in the vault of the gaurdians, his formerly green Lantern ring seems to pulls itslef to the door, but helplessley drops upon impact. But it skidded across the floor, and banged agaisnt the door harder, and harder, until...it broke the three foot thick carbonated stell doors; zipping through space to find its weidler.

.Do you know how to post pictures on the Hype?:

you mean like that?

better?

 

[Trigger]

It has a few spelling errors, but it's much easier to read.

 

[Spike_x1]

I'm convinced that you'd get the hang of it pretty soon, so I'm not concerned about that or anything.

I am curious about why, at the moment, you seem to start a new line of text in the middle of a lot of your sentences in the "Origin and Backstory" category. I don't know if you're typing it in a special format before posting it here, or if you're pressing the Enter key at random intervals, but the structure of the post certainly caught my eye.

 

[sabetoonth]

i typed it up in notepad and it feels weord having it go on forever on one line so that may be it

 

[Saved]

Sorry for the absence, my internet's been out thanks to the snowstorm. Even now, it's out, I'm just using another comp to get the message across. I should be good to go in a day or so.

 

[Trigger]

There's actual snow in Georgia, so I'll be a little busy with that this weekend. My next Mister Miracle post will be up Monday.

 

[Byrd Man]

**** you. There's snow here in South Carolina and I'm posting as Holiday tomorrow.

 

[Mr. Majestic]

I think its snowing every where im here in Virginia and we has it as well

 

[Saved]

Annnnd my router's busted. I'm probably going to be offline or at least infrequent til the beginning of next week when I can get this resolved. Sorry for the inconvience.

 

[Saved]

Alright, my computer's fixed. However, I'm catching up on school work, so I'll have posts up in the next day or so. Sorry for the delay.

 

[sabetoonth]

ima ctually goin to pull my name out of the game, never got approve or denied, and really cant do schoolwork and Allstar rpg, and this at the same time

 

[Spike_x1]

I can't write Scottish dialogue for the life of me, so I'm not even trying. Those guys are just going to talk in standard supervillain-speak.

 

[Saved]

College is really kicking my butt. Apologies on these delays, but this week's been especially bad mainly due to the fact that my grandmother's medical condition has been slowly degrading and today she was rushed to the hospital. I don't want to drop, and don't plan to, I'm just going to need a little more patience. Again, my apologies.

 

[Trigger]

I hope the situation with your grandmother improves.

 

[Optikal]

So, how up to date is the roster in this shizzle?

 

[Byrd Man]

Pretty up to date, if not 100% up to date....for the most part, barring a few dropped characters. Like, I'd say the dude who played Captain Atom is gone, and JB has dropped off the map. But other than that, seems to be accurate.

 

[Optikal]

Good times. I'll think on it. Oh, and is activity in this game as 'on its arse' as the other games?

 

[Byrd Man]

It, uhh...it could be better in terms of activity...could be worse.