The "Ultimate DC Universe" RPG: Season 2.0

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JOHN CONSTANTINE

Where does this mutt get off calling me a low level magician? Low level, yes. Magician, yeah, but a low level magician? And partners? Either I've finally lost it or this aint tobacco.

"If you know who I am, you know I don't work well with people. "

"You think just 'cause you got yourself a talking dog mate, that you've seen everything? Ever seen a man eat his own face? Didn't think so."

This is like some kind of surreal crap from the Tate, I don't need this sorta thing. But what I do need is a light...

Boston's eyes turn red and his voice amplifies to ten times his regular voice.

"JOHN CONSTANTINE! I AM BOSTON BRAND. ANGEL OF VENEGENCE AND RIGHT HAND TO HIM WHO IS IAM. YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME OUR BE SMOTE WITH FURIOUS ANGER BY OUR RICHTEOUS GOD!"

I think I pissed in my pants a little.

"I think what he's saying is....please?"
 
You'd think that, for the new ION, he'd be a little more accustomed to answering his-

Suddenly, a strange feeling of dread washes over Alan Scott as he stands outside the home of Kyle Rayner.

I hope to God that Kyle understands why I have to return to the battery. If not, then it could be the last mistake this old man will ever make...

OOC: This NPC has no relevant position in the DCU. They are simply being used to help further the story.

IC: A woman in her mid thirties answers the door holding a young child in her arms.

"Hello. Can I help you?"
 
Boston's eyes turn red and his voice amplifies to ten times his regular voice.

"JOHN CONSTANTINE! I AM BOSTON BRAND. ANGEL OF VENEGENCE AND RIGHT HAND TO HIM WHO IS IAM. YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME OUR BE SMOTE WITH FURIOUS ANGER BY OUR RICHTEOUS GOD!"

I think I pissed in my pants a little.

"I think what he's saying is....please?"

JOHN CONSTANTINE

This guy really knows the definition of over the top. However this ciggy's nearly gone, and only two left after that, gonna be a long night.

"But still, you aint seen a man eat his own face."

I can see the little dog get himself pretty pissed off.

"Get me a drink and a new pack of Cig's, and I'm all yours..."

What the heck, might be worth a laugh.
 
JOHN CONSTANTINE

This guy really knows the definition of over the top. However this ciggy's nearly gone, and only two left after that, gonna be a long night.

"But still, you aint seen a man eat his own face."

I can see the little dog get himself pretty pissed off.

"Get me a drink and a new pack of Cig's, and I'm all yours..."

What the heck, might be worth a laugh.

"No look. You don't understand. The work you two will do is for the boy upstairs, you do it right Constantine. J man will let you in past the pearly gates."

"What do I get out of this?"

"All in good time, all in good time. First we need a ouija board and some chicken bones...."
 
OOC: This NPC has no relevant position in the DCU. They are simply being used to help further the story.

IC: A woman in her mid thirties answers the door holding a young child in her arms.

"Hello. Can I help you?"
Scott sees the young woman (young for HIM anyway) and feels somewhat relieved.

"Good evening, young lady, I was wondering if you know where I can find a Mr. Kyle Rayner."
 
"No look. You don't understand. The work you two will do is for the boy upstairs, you do it right Constantine. J man will let you in past the pearly gates."

"What do I get out of this?"

"All in good time, all in good time. First we need a ouija board and some chicken bones...."

JOHN CONSTANTINE

You must be joking me, I must have done something really bad in a past life, actually....that was this life...

"Let's go then, but if dog makes a mess, you're cleanin' it up"

FLICK. LIGHT. INHALE.

All better now, let's see what these guys have got for me.
 
JOHN CONSTANTINE

You must be joking me, I must have done something really bad in a past life, actually....that was this life...

"Let's go then, but if dog makes a mess, you're cleanin' it up"

FLICK. LIGHT. INHALE.

All better now, let's see what these guys have got for me.


......

So that's how the three of us are sitting in the middle of my dirty apartment with a Ouija board.

"Oooooommmmmm."

You've got to be kidding me. John rolls his eyes while Boston starts to chant.

"C'mon you idiots."

"You must be kidding me. This is the stupidest thing ever."

"Your sitting in the middle of the floor with a talking dog, mate. It doesn't get any stupider than this."

"You right, dammit."

"Ooooommmmm."
"Oooooommmmm."

A breeze whips through the room and the light bulbs break. A hundred voices whispering fill the room. Then just like that, there gone and were left in a dark room.

"What the hell was that?"

"We have our first mission. We've got to go to Louisiana."


 
......

So that's how the three of us are sitting in the middle of my dirty apartment with a Ouija board.

"Oooooommmmmm."

You've got to be kidding me. John rolls his eyes while Boston starts to chant.

"C'mon you idiots."

"You must be kidding me. This is the stupidest thing ever."

"Your sitting in the middle of the floor with a talking dog, mate. It doesn't get any stupider than this."

"You right, dammit."

"Ooooommmmm."
"Oooooommmmm."

A breeze whips through the room and the light bulbs break. A hundred voices whispering fill the room. Then just like that, there gone and were left in a dark room.

"What the hell was that?"

"We have our first mission. We've got to go to Louisiana."

JOHN CONSTANTINE


"I was wrong, going to Lousiana with a talking dog because of a ouija board is way more stupid, especially the Lousiana part."

Hell what have I gotten myself into, at least I got some more ciggy's. I've gotten into far less mess after nights of heavy drinking and drugs, but Louisiana? I mean why?

"One thing though, if ANYONE tells me to squeel like a piggy, I'm gone."

Grabbing the few essentials, booze, ****, a full lighter and a book of matches just in case, we're on our way.
 
Scott sees the young woman (young for HIM anyway) and feels somewhat relieved.

"Good evening, young lady, I was wondering if you know where I can find a Mr. Kyle Rayner."

The young woman thinks for a moment.

"Rayner? No, I'm afraid not. My husband and I moved in here almost seven years ago. If he was the man who used to live here, noone knows where he is. They told us that the house had been reposessed due to late payments. When we first took a look at it, all of his stuff was still here. He dropped off the face of the Earth."
 
The young woman thinks for a moment.

"Rayner? No, I'm afraid not. My husband and I moved in here almost seven years ago. If he was the man who used to live here, noone knows where he is. They told us that the house had been reposessed due to late payments. When we first took a look at it, all of his stuff was still here. He dropped off the face of the Earth."
Oa. "Thank you, my dear. I'm sorry to have disturbed you."

Alan Scott bowed politely and headed across the street.
He walked down the quaint little suburban area until he reached a small alley. When he was sure he was alone, Scott buttoned his trench coat, straightened his eye-patch, and shot off into the stratusphere.

 
Ray finishes looking over her new design for the bio-suit.

All things considered not a bad looking out fit Ray. The red & blue contrast are really kind cool looking...now for the moment of truth...actually trying the thing on. Be my luck it is way way too tight even something that is supposed to be like a second skin. Now in theory I think I might be able to hide my costume within that blue field that envelopes me when I shrink...Let's see if I'm right about this.
She begins to shrink down and throws her costume into the heart of the blue aura. When she has finished shrinking to 6 inches she notices that she is wearing the costume.

All-right now let's see if I am right about this...

Dr. Palmer begins to grow back to normal and her costume disappears and her street clothes re-appear.

Oh YEAH! I am so good. Time for me to try out my persona as it were...speaking of personas I need a name.. Hmmmm...how about Might-Mite? Nah too corny and sounds too much like Mighty Mouse... Power woman? nah somehting with a scientifc edge to it....Particle Girl...Ugh!...what about The ATOM?

She nods her head...PERFECT!

Ray shrinks down and transforms into the Atom.

Now that I have that part of the equation down...it's time for me to earn my super-hero stripes.

And with that The Atom leaps into the air ducts of her apartment and takes off into the night sky.
 
As Ion touches down to meet with Death, Ganthet speaks directly into Kyle's mind.

Ion, you must return back to Oa at once.

I'm not finished with the escort yet Ganthet.

No matter. Death will have to guide him from here on.

What's so important that you're calling me back without letting me finish my job.

Because we need you here. A possible threat is on its way here to Oa right now.

What kind of a threat? Like an army?

No. It is but one man. Now return to the central power battery. You will be informed when you are needed. Today will be your true test of strength and courage.
 
JOHN CONSTANTINE


"I was wrong, going to Lousiana with a talking dog because of a ouija board is way more stupid, especially the Lousiana part."

Hell what have I gotten myself into, at least I got some more ciggy's. I've gotten into far less mess after nights of heavy drinking and drugs, but Louisiana? I mean why?

"One thing though, if ANYONE tells me to squeel like a piggy, I'm gone."

Grabbing the few essentials, booze, ****, a full lighter and a book of matches just in case, we're on our way.

Bayou Lafourche, Lousiana

After a ten hour car ride with a talking dog who likes to fart and a chain smoking wizard who likes to ask if were there yet every five minutes, I find myself starting out at the murky swamp land while John lights up a fresh cig and Boston licks himself.

"Man's best friend indeed."

"Mmmmm, What? Oh..never mind. Okay since were here, our mission is to take out Madam Ruby. A local witch doctor who's bewitched the good people of Bayou Lafourche."

"Bewitched in what way?"

"Are you familiar with the term zombie?"
 
Bayou Lafourche, Lousiana

After a ten hour car ride with a talking dog who likes to fart and a chain smoking wizard who likes to ask if were there yet every five minutes, I find myself starting out at the murky swamp land while John lights up a fresh cig and Boston licks himself.

"Man's best friend indeed."

"Mmmmm, What? Oh..never mind. Okay since were here, our mission is to take out Madam Ruby. A local witch doctor who's bewitched the good people of Bayou Lafourche."

"Bewitched in what way?"

"Are you familiar with the term zombie?"

JOHN CONSTANTINE

Just get's beter and better eh John.

"Are we talking mindless zombie we're allowed to kill? Or all that 'save the whales' bull*****? When I see a zombie, I don't think about it's feelings."

Then again, people's feeling were never my strong point anyhow.

This place reeks, maybe if I smoke enough, I can avoid it.

"Anyway, I know the b*tch's story, so what's yours?"
 
JOHN CONSTANTINE

Just get's beter and better eh John.

"Are we talking mindless zombie we're allowed to kill? Or all that 'save the whales' bull*****? When I see a zombie, I don't think about it's feelings."

Then again, people's feeling were never my strong point anyhow.

This place reeks, maybe if I smoke enough, I can avoid it.

"Anyway, I know the b*tch's story, so what's yours?"

"Well my story is the age old story of boy grows up in broken home, boy gets beaten by alcoholic father, boy kills father, boy gets thrown in insane asylum, boy escape. You know, the same Hollywood bull**** they feed us everyday. So Boston. Where the hell are these zombies?"

"Hell if I know. Your best bet would be the actual town."

I pull out my pistols and wave one at Constantine.

"Want one?"
 
"Well my story is the age old story of boy grows up in broken home, boy gets beaten by alcoholic father, boy kills father, boy gets thrown in insane asylum, boy escape. You know, the same Hollywood bull**** they feed us everyday. So Boston. Where the hell are these zombies?"

"Hell if I know. Your best bet would be the actual town."

I pull out my pistols and wave one at Constantine.

"Want one?"

JOHN CONSTANTINE

"Pistols?"

I've been doing this way to long for pistols, they could be fun, but not my style.

"Let's go and get this done shall we?"

Trying not to get my feet too wet, we end up making our way into some small, red-necked village.

In a place like this, how are gonna tell the difference between red-neck and zombie? Is there a difference?
 
JOHN CONSTANTINE

"Pistols?"

I've been doing this way to long for pistols, they could be fun, but not my style.

"Let's go and get this done shall we?"

Trying not to get my feet too wet, we end up making our way into some small, red-necked village.

In a place like this, how are gonna tell the difference between red-neck and zombie? Is there a difference?

"Uhhhhh."

I hear a noise and look to see a fat man with a "I'm with stupid" T-shirt slowly walking towards us. His eyes are dead and gray and I can see blood on his mouth.

"Let's do this."

I cock on of my pistols an aim it at the man's chest. The gun makes a thunderous sound and it hits the man dead in his heart, he lurches but won't go down.

"Haven't you ever seen a zombie movie, duma$$? Aim for the head."

"Oh yeah."

I level the sight at his forehead and watch as the bullet makes a small entrance wound and explodes the back of his man's head.

"I have a question. How are we saving these people by killing them?"

"You saving there souls from having to walk the Earth as one of the dammed."

"Alright, so your typical christian bull$hit."
 
"Uhhhhh."

I hear a noise and look to see a fat man with a "I'm with stupid" T-shirt slowly walking towards us. His eyes are dead and gray and I can see blood on his mouth.

"Let's do this."

I cock on of my pistols an aim it at the man's chest. The gun makes a thunderous sound and it hits the man dead in his heart, he lurches but won't go down.

"Haven't you ever seen a zombie movie, duma$$? Aim for the head."

"Oh yeah."

I level the sight at his forehead and watch as the bullet makes a small entrance wound and explodes the back of his man's head.

"I have a question. How are we saving these people by killing them?"

"You saving there souls from having to walk the Earth as one of the dammed."

"Alright, so your typical christian bull$hit."


JOHN CONSTANTINE

"Really? I was never too sure about God's stance on incest..."

Stepping into one of the shacks, I grab myself some petrol. Then wait for some old child molesting farmer zombie to try it.

The thing you gotta love about zombies, is their stupidity.

A quick move out of the way at the last minute, trip them over. Dash of petrol, flick of ash. Easy.

"Anyone else think this a little too easy? Thoughts where the witch might be Fido?"
 
JOHN CONSTANTINE

"Really? I was never too sure about God's stance on incest..."

Stepping into one of the shacks, I grab myself some petrol. Then wait for some old child molesting farmer zombie to try it.

The thing you gotta love about zombies, is their stupidity.

A quick move out of the way at the last minute, trip them over. Dash of petrol, flick of ash. Easy.

"Anyone else think this a little too easy? Thoughts where the witch might be Fido?"

I shoot another zombie and then another. There too easy.

"I think your best bet would be her house."

Apparently, the other zombie's smelled the blood. Now nearly a dozen are coming towards us. I'm shooting and shooting until...

CLICK, CLICK, CLICK

"Dammmit. Hey, Mr. Wizard. How about a spell of something."
 
I shoot another zombie and then another. There too easy.

"I think your best bet would be her house."

Apparently, the other zombie's smelled the blood. Now nearly a dozen are coming towards us. I'm shooting and shooting until...

CLICK, CLICK, CLICK

"Dammmit. Hey, Mr. Wizard. How about a spell of something."

JOHN CONSTANTINE

See, these people are all the same, once they're out of ammo they have no clue...

"Do I look like a performing monkey?"

As they're all getting closer, I can see him gettin' himself a little edgy. I love this part. The zombies are barely out of arms reach now.

Time to act I guess. Reaching my hand into my coat I draw out a small vial of brown liquid, pop off the top and dash it onto one of the zombies.

"All done, let's go find her."

He looks worried, until he notices the zombies heading for the one with the brown liquid on instead. There's always a simpler way.
 
(IC: Wonder Woman)

"All right, I'm ready when you are."

The sand grits beneath my feet as I deepen my stance, already anticipating the coming attack. I had always been adept with the axe in my right hand, but today it feels ungainly, even crude. Ever since my return from America, I have had....difficulty resuming my duties here on Themyscira.

The sunlight glints off the blade of Artemis' sword, drawn and poised to strike. She smirks.

"You know, Diana, I've been going easy on you all day, and you still haven't managed to land a single blow," she taunts, twirling the blade in a showy fashion. "This time, I think I'll just end it quickly."

As arrogant as she usually is, I know that this is a ploy. She's hoping her taunting will make me angry, my fury blinding my better senses so that she may humiliate me. Before leaving for Man's world, it would have worked. However, since then, I've been trying to adopt a different perspective...

...not that such thinking will stop her from attacking.

Artemis lunges forward, bringing the sword up for an overhead slash. It's an obvious move, and I easily avoid it. As I dodge the attack, I feint to her left, swinging the axe at her vulnerable ribs. She wheels around behind me, and slams the sword's hilt into the back of my head.

The world goes black for a second and I stumble forward, dazed from the impact. At my full power, she would never have been fast enough to evade me, nor strong enough to inflict such damage. However, for the purposes of training, I had been treated with a serum that dulled my abilities, handicapping me considerably. If there was anything I had learned from my battle with the creature Lobo, it was that I must be able to fight beings who would be stronger than I.

I find myself cursing the handicap soon enough, as a sharp sting courses across the back of my right leg; Artemis' sword had struck true. The sudden pain brings me out of my daze, and I turn quickly to find my opponent winding back for another attack.

This time, I'm ready for her. I bring up my axe, and sparks fly as steel clashes against steel. She ducks down, effortlessly avoiding another swipe from my weapon, and she comes back with an upward slash. I stagger back, barely evading it, but the pain in my leg is too great, and I fall to one knee.

Artemis closes in for the finishing blow.

Get up, Diana. Get up!

I cannot stand. The sand beneath me is turning crimson, stained by my blood. With no mobility left, I can only choose to meet force with force. She swings her sword, and my axe is there to meet it.

Our weapons lock, the blades grinding together as we shove against each other. Even with my powers dulled, I am still a match for her in terms of sheer strength. It is only a matter of wearing her down....

...and then she uses my axe as a fulcrum, bringing the sword's hilt at full force into my face. I hear a crunch and feel the warm spray of blood from my broken nose as I fall to the ground.

Artemis stand over me, triumphant, bringing the point of her sword to my throat.

"You never could beat me, Diana."

"Artemis! That is quite enough!"

I hear the voice, but cannot recognize it as I lay panting and bloodied on the ground. A figure approaches us, but I cannot make it out with my sight so blurred. However, I am thankful for it, as my opponent removes the blade and backs away.

The figure bends down to me, her voice filled with compassion.

"Rest, my daughter. Your wounds will heal, and when you are ready, I have a lesson for you. For now....rest."

I finally recognize my mother's voice as I slip into unconsciousness....
 
JOHN CONSTANTINE

See, these people are all the same, once they're out of ammo they have no clue...

"Do I look like a performing monkey?"

As they're all getting closer, I can see him gettin' himself a little edgy. I love this part. The zombies are barely out of arms reach now.

Time to act I guess. Reaching my hand into my coat I draw out a small vial of brown liquid, pop off the top and dash it onto one of the zombies.

"All done, let's go find her."

He looks worried, until he notices the zombies heading for the one with the brown liquid on instead. There's always a simpler way.

So we start down the streets of this little town when I hear it again.

"UHHHHH."

More zombies. ****.

"Alright, since my guns are no longer available."

I pick up a garbage can and throw it through the window of a nearby sporting goods store.

"Was that really nessecary?"

"Of course, silly doggy."

I climb through the window and go inside. A few minutes later out I come with an aluminum baseball bat in my hand.

"Alright. Batter up."

 
So we start down the streets of this little town when I hear it again.

"UHHHHH."

More zombies. ****.

"Alright, since my guns are no longer available."

I pick up a garbage can and throw it through the window of a nearby sporting goods store.

"Was that really nessecary?"

"Of course, silly doggy."

I climb through the window and go inside. A few minutes later out I come with an aluminum baseball bat in my hand.

"Alright. Batter up."

JOHN CONSTANTINE

As the sound of metal bat crunching bone echoes through the streets, I can hear them looking for me.

Not my fault, if we're gonna start breaking into shops, I'm stocking up in the offy!

With my coat now brimming, I'm ready to go again with these freaks. So I just lean myself against the building and let them all come up nice and close.

"So, come here often...."
 
Alan Scott lands on a small platform orbiting the planet of Oa. Suddenly, two 7' tall emerald green and carbon blue androids approach Scott.

HALT! Name your purpose, human.

Alan Scott looked up at the man-hunter.

At ease, man-hunters. I am only here to observe the progress of the new Ion.

The large metallic being tensed and pointed it's massive shock-batton at the old man.

You do not have the authority to speak to the Ion, beggar.

The second man-hunter prepares it's weapon but Alan merely smiles.

Now, now. There's no need for violence, gentlemen. I'm just an old man who wants to check on his protige, perhaps, teach him a few new tricks. Please, I beg you to grant me an audience with the Ion. You won't have to worry about me making any trouble.

The man-hunters exchange cautious glances.

Come on... Scott replies with a sly grin. Don't tell me you're afraid of a "simple beggar".

The man-hunter glares angrily at Scott. The other man-hunter appears to be grinning. Grinning! Scott didn't even know man-hunters COULD grin!

Hmmm. . . Very well. BUT BE WARNED BEGGAR! THE MAN-HUNETRS WILL BE WATCHING YOU!

Of course.

Alan politely bows and the man-hunter motions Scott towards a silver teleporter device. Alan steps on it and is instantly transported to a long green hallway leading to a huge emerald door.
Alan smiles and heads towards the door.
He takes a deep breath as he arrives at the door.

The Central Power Battery. It's been so long. I wonder if it's changed at all. Only one way to find out.

Alan Scott takes another deep breath, and pushes the door open.


 
JOHN CONSTANTINE

As the sound of metal bat crunching bone echoes through the streets, I can hear them looking for me.

Not my fault, if we're gonna start breaking into shops, I'm stocking up in the offy!

With my coat now brimming, I'm ready to go again with these freaks. So I just lean myself against the building and let them all come up nice and close.

"So, come here often...."

*PING!, PING!, PING!*

"**** yeah! I'm just like Barry Bonds, but without all the steroids and shrunken pecker."

I see John just leaning on a wall with a smoke in his mouth.

"Come on, Johnny boy. I wanna see some of that Hocus Pocus."
 
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