The Virginity Question

[redhawk23]

Bit like seeing the Phantom Menace really.

one of the better ways I've heard it put.

 

[Harls]

I'm 17 & I'm a virgin. I don't feel pressured or anything, but mainly because I don't really give a **** about stuff like that -- I have friends who let all of this "pressure" get to them. Guess it just affects everyone differently. Actually, many people think I'm a bit of a ****e because I hang out with guys most of the time (note that we're on a comic book forum here ), but I don't really bother correcting them because I often don't care about them. Only the people I do care about know & believe that I'm "still" a virgin.

I've definitely had ample opportunities to lose it, but I just didn't go for it. I'm not really religious at all, and I don't necessarily believe waiting till marriage (ugh, marriage). I think a reason why is because people are ****ing stupid and the less time I spend with them, the better -- especially in regards to sex. I've seen friends/acquaintances get really hurt and upset over things like this and I take that in and decide what I want to do taking a variety of things into account.

Actually, I honestly think another huge reason why I haven't yet is because I don't want to get older/grow up. I like to think I'm fairly mature for my age, but I don't like it very much. I still cling to eating sugary cereals & watching Saturday morning cartoons and playing with Spiderman pez dispensers and having rainbow bed sheets/blankets. It's silly, but to me having sex would make me mentally feel like I'm growing up. I've been told that you literally feel no differently the next day (and I don't expect to), but my mind tends to twist things around and that's just what I think of it so far. Besides, I'd rather make love than have sex, but you know... practice makes perfect.

And many people my age or even a bit older don't know how to communicate properly with a sexual partner yet, so if I was gonna get with a guy right now sex would ultimately be just for his horn-dog-ness because he mostly likely wouldn't understand how to please a woman at this time in his life.

So, yeah, wow, where was I going with this again? Virgin, don't really receive any pressure about it or have people treat me any differently (actually some kids my age look up to me because of it), & I am not "waiting" for anything but myself.

 

[Angry Monkey]

So, yeah, wow, where was I going with this again? Virgin, don't really receive any pressure about it or have people treat me any differently (actually some kids my age look up to me because of it), & I am not "waiting" for anything but myself.

Agree, fellow females don't treat me any different for being a virgin either...

I don't know how men can tell if a woman is one or not. It's kind of creepy.

 

[Harls]

I don't know how men can tell if a woman is one or not. It's kind of creepy.

I don't think anyone can tell unless you make it blatantly obvious. Maybe the guys you were talking about are just good guessers

 

[S.A.A.D.]

I thought that you were older than 17.

 

[katie_girl09]

Even with your girlfriends? You don't call them and say, "his penis was too big for my vagina. It hurt." or "It was too small. I didn't feel a thing." Isn't that regular gal chatter? Or has Sex and the City lied to me.

I can't speak for all women, but I don't do sex chatter. Honestly.

 

[Harls]

I thought that you were older than 17.

A lot of people online tend to, haha. I don't mind because it makes me feel glad to be younger while seeming like I know more/have more life experience than I actually do

 

[Angry Monkey]

I don't think anyone can tell unless you make it blatantly obvious. Maybe the guys you were talking about are just good guessers

Indeed when they do guess I just tell them it's none of their business.

 

[SpideyVille]

I remember hanging out with a female friend of mine and two of her female friends that I never met before. They were talking about some of their sexual experiences and the nature of their conversation was just so shocking that I kept asking myself, "Is this really what girls talk about with each other?" and "do they even know I'm here?" Then one of her friends asked me some question, but her other friend automatically knew I had no experience simply because I didn't chime in to correct them about certain stereotypes that they felt were true about guys.

 

[AndThePickles]

Of course my girl friends and I talk about sex. I'm an open/honest person.

 

[socool]

I grew up in Harlem. I was bullied and shoved by the black kids in school. Because of this I gave into peer pressure real easily. I joined their gang, to save my own hide. We hurt people, scared people, robbed people. We loved it. At 14 I lost my virginity to the leader, Sasha Parker. Greatest sex I've ever had. I'm still in the gang at 18. Me and Sasha have had sex thirty-three times. Thirty-four tomorrow. So, that's how I lost my virginity.






Wanna know how I learned sarcasm?

 

[katie_girl09]

Of course my girl friends and I talk about sex. I'm an open/honest person.

When mine talk I just kind of keep quiet.

 

[Catman]

the nature of their conversation was just so shocking that I kept asking myself, "Is this really what girls talk about with each other?"

Guys, by comparison, keep it simple.

[YT]lQlIhraqL7o[/YT]

 

[AndThePickles]

When mine talk I just kind of keep quiet.

Out of curiosity, why? Do you feel uncomfortable with embracing your sexual side? Do you not trust your friends enough to talk about intimate things? Do you think that this will ever change in the future?

 

[katie_girl09]

Out of curiosity, why? Do you feel uncomfortable with embracing your sexual side?

No way!

Do you not trust your friends enough to talk about intimate things?

No, it's not that either.

Do you think that this will ever change in the future?

Probably not. I think it's just the way I was brought up. There's just certain things that I don't wanna share with others. Especially if they're not family.

I mean, my friends talk about their sex lives candidly. I'll comment and give advice and stuff. I just don't talk about mine in any detail.

I'm an open person overall. I just don't think that being open means that I have to share everything. You know?

 

[AndThePickles]

Probably not. I think it's just the way I was brought up. There's just certain things that I don't wanna share with others. Especially if they're not family.

I mean, my friends talk about their sex lives candidly. I'll comment and give advice and stuff. I just don't talk about mine in any detail.

I'm an open person overall. I just don't think that being open means that I have to share everything. You know?

Ah, I gotcha. When you phrase it that way, that leads me to re-phrase how it is for me, as well: None of us give intimate details about our sex life in terms of too-personal details. We all know each other's boyfriends and it'd be very bizarre/awkward to hear intimate details about the way someone's penis looks, etc. We all moreso talk about sex in general, what we like, new tricks to try, toys, etc. Or, "he and I tried _____," it was awesome.

 

[JewishHobbit]

I decided to wait until marriage when I was around 13 or so. Then I started going to church at 15 so that strengthened that idea. I only really hanged out with other christians from my church so I didn't have any mocking and when someone did mock me about being a virgin I didn't really care and just shrugged them off. I didn't really fall to peer preasure easily.

I ended up meeting my wife at church and we waited until marriage... or actually about a month after marraige when she was ready. We were both virgins and I'm super happy about that.

I had about 5 real close guy friends who all agreed we'd wait and within a year (about 3 or 4 years after we agreed) all of them save one ended up losing their virginity prior to being married and I was ticked off about that. As a result one left the church, one's relationship exploded and he was accused of rape after he decided to break it off wit her and lost his pastorial liscense, and the other met a girl he ended up marrying but now has to deal with some type of trust issues.

I don't look down on people nowadays but back then I did tend to feel that people were a bit ****ty when they slept around but I was young and niave. That said, I'm not as worried about it if friends have sex before marriage but I'm old fashioned enough and protective enough to know that I'll have issues if my daughters don't wait. I'm trying to prepare myself for the possibility of it but it's just that protective dad side of me.

 

[JewishHobbit]

Also, I'm not a big believer in it being okay as long as they're being safe. Protection isn't 100% safe.

One of my friends has 2 kids. One was prior to marriage (with another man) and one was after, both times they were using protection, the first time was with a condom AND birth control.

So while I'm not really judgemental about premarital sex, if someone gets pregnant even with protection I don't feel sorry for them. They made the choice.

And we were using birth control during the conception of both of our children but that was partially our fault, as if you miss a pill it makes the woman MORE fertal (so I hear) and we did that twice... getting pregnant both times.

 

[The Squirrel]

I decided to wait until marriage when I was around 13 or so. Then I started going to church at 15 so that strengthened that idea. I only really hanged out with other christians from my church so I didn't have any mocking and when someone did mock me about being a virgin I didn't really care and just shrugged them off. I didn't really fall to peer preasure easily.

I ended up meeting my wife at church and we waited until marriage... or actually about a month after marraige when she was ready. We were both virgins and I'm super happy about that.

I had about 5 real close guy friends who all agreed we'd wait and within a year (about 3 or 4 years after we agreed) all of them save one ended up losing their virginity prior to being married and I was ticked off about that. As a result one left the church, one's relationship exploded and he was accused of rape after he decided to break it off wit her and lost his pastorial liscense, and the other met a girl he ended up marrying but now has to deal with some type of trust issues.

I don't look down on people nowadays but back then I did tend to feel that people were a bit ****ty when they slept around but I was young and niave. That said, I'm not as worried about it if friends have sex before marriage but I'm old fashioned enough and protective enough to know that I'll have issues if my daughters don't wait. I'm trying to prepare myself for the possibility of it but it's just that protective dad side of me.

Fun honeymoon. J/K, what do I know.

 

[Angry Monkey]

Protection isn't 100% safe.

One of my friends has 2 kids. One was prior to marriage (with another man) and one was after, both times they were using protection, the first time was with a condom AND birth control.

this happened to my sister.

So while I'm not really judgemental about premarital sex, if someone gets pregnant even with protection I don't feel sorry for them. They made the choice.

Agree 100%

and shows like TEEN MOM glorify teen pregnacy...

 

[Ponyboy]

I ended up meeting my wife at church and we waited until marriage... or actually about a month after marraige when she was ready.

You've got more self control than a eunuch. Good on ya.

I did the same thing when I was 17 (said I was going to wait until I was 18 and get married)... didn't work. We did stay together until we were both 19 though... but we never married. She was something special, that girl.

 

[Colossal Spoons]

I only remember 2 things about my first time: it wasn't enjoyable and Ja Rule was playing on the radio.

 

[Ponyboy]

I remember that it was in the shower... and that "it" made me late for work (my first job no less, and I'd only been there a few weeks).

 

[Anubis]

I only remember 2 things about my first time: it wasn't enjoyable and Ja Rule was playing on the radio.

Wow, double suck.


I lost mine in my bathroom with my friend's girlfriend while he was in the next room playing Soul Blade.

Pretty good.

 

[AndThePickles]

My first time was hooooorrrrrriiibbblllleeee. If I based the rest of my sex life off of that, I would have remained abstinent for the rest of my life