The Writer's thread (Authors, Screenwriters, playwrights, etc.))

[KevanG]

So I mentioned some time ago in this thread about the Reincarnation Support Group idea that would be a mentioned thing in my books and maybe we'd have the main character sit in on one.

I ran this idea for it by someone and they said it was crazy dark. Got the idea from my current job. I currently work at a thrift store and we get donations from people. Half the time I half to carry the heavy **** in and the other half I'm sorting it.

The idea was that a guy had a similar job, sorting clothes but he got flashbacks to a previous life in a German concentration camp where he had to do the same thing. He doesn't have any powers besides the memories of a previous life. After getting some counselling and help with the trauma, he helps various historians recreate the exact conditions/history he experienced.

Its not meant to be a big thing or main story point but more of an example of the weird stuff that can happen in the world I made. The big thing in it is that Super people of all sorts are running around but I like to include weird stuff that would usually get overlooked in comics and such.

So, anyone think the idea is too dark?

 

[Victarion]

My only question is - why would he help historians reconstruct it? I don't think its too dark at all (just do your research for the concentration camp aspects), but if you've seen my posts around the hype, you'll know I have a kind of high threshold where that's concerned.

 

[KevanG]

It would be more that he had a recent view on a subject that is about 70 years out of date.

Reconstructing meaning more like a sharper perspective on life in them as opposed to making more.

 

[Victarion]

That could work if there's someone working behind the scenes to bring those sort of conditions back, albeit burried under a load of legislation so that it was all under the radar. And your guy's trying to get the people in power to empathize with just how terrible those places were...

You could play with the idea of a society that's exposed to so much violence etc that its become kind of desensitized to what your character endured in those camps.

 

[KevanG]

I haven't actually thought out the long term implications of various ideas I've had. I mostly just write them down (200 pages and counting) and see what sticks.

I've also decided to make the UN more powerful in my books.

Back in the 50's and 60's when Supers were showing up more frequently, various governments started rounding them up in camps similar to the American/Canadian Japanese internment camps in WII. Being a bad idea to start, eventually the Supers broke out and things went a bit nuts for a while.

A bit later the big name Supers took a stand and joined with the UN to setup various things. They instituted mandatory registration/training/psych help for all Supers. Set up international rules that stated no Supers are allowed to be in the armed forces unless specifically sent in by the UN and even then its rare. I figure that the UN would have a lot more power due to the guys that can chew through mountains and eat stars backing them up than they do now.

The whole idea is as I've said, how would a world with common sense aka not Marvel/DC/A lot of other comics deal with Super people running around?

 

[Victarion]

I could see a scared populace pushing for more govt regulations as more supers emerge.

 

[KevanG]

That's Supers with a capital S. Gawd.

 

[KevanG]

Ignoring the serious stuff, I started writing some in world yo momma jokes.

To a guy with super strength - "Yo momma so fat, even you can't lift her!"

In general - "Yo momma so fat, her ass is too big for the Manhattan Crater!"

 

[Victarion]

I'm writing a Halloween themed story. Gore, hillbillies, and dead gods galore.

Would a "gore farm" where the hillbillies farm corpses for gore, and use their magic to make "gore crops," be too on the nose as far as comedy goes?

 

[Hellion]

Can't go wrong with hillbillies.

I'm trying to revise a horror short film script but I don't know, I'm blocked on what to do. It's a slasher story that becomes a ghost story because of a twist at the end.

Long story short, characters hunted by killer, in the end, the characters are already dead, the killer is really a ghost hunter/psychic type hired by the victims families to put the characters to rest.

If anyone could help brainstorm ideas it would help? Two pieces of feedback given were...

Before the twist reveal...somehow incorporate or expand upon the supernatural mythology. In a way, I somewhat agree but then again, I think that takes the oomph from the twist.

Second, expand upon the "killer". In my piece, the characters appearances are through his point of view and after "dispatching" the last character, we get a bit of an introduction as he meets up with the characters families.

Person loved the story, but the above would be what they would kind of do.

 

[Victarion]

Give your killer a special axe/chainsaw/knives/whatever slash tool, special-made to kill ghosts. That way the victims are frightened of the strange weapon and the reader gets to wonder why the killer's weapon is weird.

edit

Question about narrative technique. Some writers will describe the scene before focusing in on a character/characters. This is what I find myself doing often:

*

“Rake.”

Rake lifted a hand and shooed the speaker away. “Not now, mate. I’ve got souls to save.” He kicked his feet up on the table, knocking over empty beer cans, and dug some money out of his pocket. The speaker’s brown hand latched onto Rake’s arm.

“You’ve got a job to do. The indulgences of the cities have no place in our world.”


*


^ Does this inherently make it hard to follow the story from the get-go?

 

[Hellion]

Thanks for the info.

I didn't wan tot use the typical weapons.

My killer uses water/soil/oils in ritual like killings. After the twist, the water/oils and soils (from cemeteries) are revealed to be blessed/holy, which from my research prior to writing my script, people believe can weaken or traps spirits.

Oils/waters burn/disintegrate and weakens ghost characters while soil traps them where they stand when they step into/on it. I was thinking the use of oils/soil was enough of a hint something wasn't normal without giving it away.

With regards to your piece, I can follow it. It begins in the thick of things so no setup needed, I'd say.

 

[KevanG]

I've been thinking about this and have a few ideas.

You could make the 'killer' seem more of a nutjob by saying he's 'doing the Lords work' or something like that and he seems like a serial killer by using the oils and other tools as a rite which would be done in a similar vein to Dexters methodology. Possibly throw in some religious iconography near the start but make it less about an obsession and more that it's a job. Things in a certain order, tools in their places and everything but have it haphazardly enough that it looks chaotic at first glance.

Maybe have him seem unstable by having him mention that they shouldn't been 'there' wherever they are and it means more like on the Earth in retrospect but in a first viewing more like they intruded on his private hunting grounds.

Various traps could be like bears traps and whatnot that wouldn't be out of place in a slasher flick but he coats them with the various oils to make them effective against ghosts. So one character could step in one and get caught and make the other run off so we don't see him 'die' but we hear the killer attack him. Maybe a shot of the other character against a tree and trying not to scream when he does or something.

As for making him seem less crazy but still slasher style crazy, maybe have him try to coax them out with promises that he isn't the bad guy and what he does won't hurt them. They sneak around him and almost get away when one of them goes back and tries to kill him but he only gets hurt which leads him to 'kill' his attacker in a kind of violent way and infuriates him for the rest of it.

Just a few ideas based on what you've said so far.

 

[Victarion]

Eh, just me but I'm not much a fan of the religious nutjob trope now. You could have him flip between an almost childlike sense of innocence, then into driven killer. Or just keep him driven, businesslike, with his eyes on a prize. Maybe try to empathize him to us by implying that he's seen a lot he didn't wanna see, done a lot he didn't want to do, and is just now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

I wasn't thinking about any normal weapon. Maybe something freaky like a sword that seems to be a living creature, weird and alien looking to reflect its purpose as a ghost-killer.

 

[Hellion]

I've been thinking about this and have a few ideas.

You could make the 'killer' seem more of a nutjob by saying he's 'doing the Lords work' or something like that and he seems like a serial killer by using the oils and other tools as a rite which would be done in a similar vein to Dexters methodology. Possibly throw in some religious iconography near the start but make it less about an obsession and more that it's a job. Things in a certain order, tools in their places and everything but have it haphazardly enough that it looks chaotic at first glance.

Maybe have him seem unstable by having him mention that they shouldn't been 'there' wherever they are and it means more like on the Earth in retrospect but in a first viewing more like they intruded on his private hunting grounds.

Various traps could be like bears traps and whatnot that wouldn't be out of place in a slasher flick but he coats them with the various oils to make them effective against ghosts. So one character could step in one and get caught and make the other run off so we don't see him 'die' but we hear the killer attack him. Maybe a shot of the other character against a tree and trying not to scream when he does or something.

As for making him seem less crazy but still slasher style crazy, maybe have him try to coax them out with promises that he isn't the bad guy and what he does won't hurt them. They sneak around him and almost get away when one of them goes back and tries to kill him but he only gets hurt which leads him to 'kill' his attacker in a kind of violent way and infuriates him for the rest of it.

Just a few ideas based on what you've said so far.

Eh, just me but I'm not much a fan of the religious nutjob trope now. You could have him flip between an almost childlike sense of innocence, then into driven killer. Or just keep him driven, businesslike, with his eyes on a prize. Maybe try to empathize him to us by implying that he's seen a lot he didn't wanna see, done a lot he didn't want to do, and is just now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

I wasn't thinking about any normal weapon. Maybe something freaky like a sword that seems to be a living creature, weird and alien looking to reflect its purpose as a ghost-killer.

Thanks for the suggestions. Really appreciate it.

ETA: Will try to keep an update.

 

[KevanG]

Eh, just me but I'm not much a fan of the religious nutjob trope now. You could have him flip between an almost childlike sense of innocence, then into driven killer. Or just keep him driven, businesslike, with his eyes on a prize. Maybe try to empathize him to us by implying that he's seen a lot he didn't wanna see, done a lot he didn't want to do, and is just now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

I wasn't thinking about any normal weapon. Maybe something freaky like a sword that seems to be a living creature, weird and alien looking to reflect its purpose as a ghost-killer.

I would imagine that for the most part, the religious nutjob trope would be more of a cover until the reveal.

Maybe have him be more business-like and/or maintain the slasher guise until he gets near the end where he's basically pleading with them to come to him so he can help them. Possibly due to if they stay as ghosts too long they either get attacked by natural predators (I'm thinking of the black ghosts from the Patrick Swayze Ghost movie funny enough) or they go animalistic and become Poltergeists or something. He's just trying to help them along.

Possibly at the end have something like that show up and terrorize the last survivor until he has to kill it. He doesn't kill it like he'd 'kill' them but actually murders it as it's too far gone. Shows the why he does it and that he's a good guy in the end.

 

[Victarion]

I like the idea of someone who's starred into the abyss, waded into it, and is hellbent on keeping others from doing the same.

Another first pager from King Brass

Spoiler

“Rake.”

Rake lifted a hand and shooed the speaker away. “Not now, mate. I’ve got souls to save.” He kicked his feet up on the table, knocking over empty tumblers that bounced and rolled across the dive’s filthy floor, and dug some money out of his pocket. The speaker’s brown hand latched onto Rake’s arm.

“You’ve got a job to do.” A mahogany face framed in a blue headdress that flowed into a voluminous blue robe starred daggers at Rake. “That doesn’t include encouraging this –” he waved at the stage show, “or that,” he snatched the money from Rake’s hand. “Where did you get this?”

“The offering plates.” Rake bristled at the outrage he heard blossoming in the Father’s voice. “Don’t get your panties in a twist.” A mischievous smile crawled across Rake’s scruffy face. “The druids are paying us to field test their herbals. I doubt anyone’ll miss a few bills.”

“We do not serve the druids. The druids, with their magical concoctions, serve our cause—”

“Heeeeyyyy Faddah.” The voice was a drunken rasp.

Rake congratulated himself on baiting a bruiser; the guy had a foot on the Father and a full-body suit of tattoos declaring his allegiance to this gang, that cartel, and every obscure religion imaginable.

“Whut you giving King Brass a hard time for?”

Rake held up a finger to stop the Father’s never-ending stream of questions before it started, reached into his duster, and slipped on his pieces. His hands came out bearing the source of his nickname – a pair of brass knuckles sculpted to resemble flaming skulls, the flicking tongues of fire sharp, serrated blades while the maxilla served as a grip for the fingers not slotted into the sockets and nostrils.

“I’m pretty good with ‘em, Father.” Rake dropped his smile, kicked the table aside and darted at the towering Father, arms pulled tight against his burly body.

The Father's fear flickered across the skulls' polished brass and declared itself by the stain crawling down his robes.

 

[lordofthenerds]

Wrote this for a screenwriting class a couple years back. Even if you only read a few pages, I'd be happy to read someone else's work in exchange for some feedback.

It's basically a mystery thriller with a lot of action. The Riddler is the main villain; a serial killer who puts his victims in deathtraps and leaves a riddle after each kill. Batman uses his detective skills to hunt him down, and enlists the help of a young former drug dealer (Jason Todd) along the way. It also includes Roman Sionis before he becomes the Black Mask as a secondary villain whose family gets killed by the Riddler. It's 113 pages.

Here's the logline: Batman hunts a serial killer who leaves riddles as his modus operandi. http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/TheBatman.pdf

 

[DarknessOfDeath]

So been looking into who I could see myself working for and collaborating with...in terms of different production companies and I was doing some research online today and it's quite a list. Except it lists pretty much all the American companies...minus the private ones.

Just wondering if anyone has any insights to getting in. Im not expecting anything major to happen just like that but enough to get the ball rolling. I wish I had someone in my family who works in the entertainment industry and can sort of mentor me...show me more of the ins and outs. Having that advantage can go a long way...but unfortunately not for everyone.

Thoughts?

 

[Victarion]

Film or print? Either way, Writer's Digest might help you. You just have to send your stuff and hope its good enough to clear the slush pile.

 

[DarknessOfDeath]

Film...not print. I'm more interested in the entire process of how a film and tv show gets made.


Lol readers digest...

I've done some research but I'm still going to keep at it until I find more information on what studios I should try. Start small...then go from there. Just curious if any of you have tried to get yourself out there.

At the end of it all...I want to work with the best people in the entertainment industry and help produce enough material that is worth making into film or a tv series. I prefer quality over a piece of s*** that some studios prefer to spew out. In the end...all they care about is $$$. Sadly, its just the way our world is like today.

 

[ComicChick]

have you shared any of your writing with us DoD?

 

[Hellion]

Going back to my horror short script, the killer's appearances before the twist are point-of-view.

The story/camera/perspective in those points, through their eyes.

I think trying to add to the mythology doesn't work unless I scrap that aspect plus the twist.

The ghost aspect, and meeting the "killer" face to face isn't revealed until the very end.

 

[Hellion]

Where would I find a good artist?

I have a kids book I drafted for a course I've been revising that I'd be interested in trying to work with.

 

[Lobo]

Pencil jack.com or deviant art