Was I in the wrong?

[Charlie No-One]

I think you did the right thing. Although now I would stay out of it for the time being.

 

[terry78]

Drama seems to be drawn to hypesters like a magnet, I tells you.

 

[Schlosser85]

Mark says he is trying to convince Dustin that he misinterpreted my message. He also thinks it may have pushed Dustin's buttons so much because in the back of his mind he knows his behavior is aggravating the situation, and my message made him face it more than he wanted to.

 

[Midnyte_Sun]

Not your problem. You did what you did because you care about both of them. Now its up to them to settle the problems.

However, if you think Mark's depression is getting out of control (ie. suicidal) and Dustin isn't doing anything about it, I would definitely step in and do the right thing and get help.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

How about this: Just stay the **** out of it.

 

[Charlie No-One]

If you friend is going through serious depression, you don't just stay out of it.

 

[BlackLantern]

his ex (who is in another relationship), not friend....there is a difference...especially if its something affecting that relationship

its not his business

 

[Aesop Rocks]

Actually, I do. I have a severely depressed friend right now, and he said he wants to get through it on his own. So, I'm letting him. And as *****ey as it sounds, I don't need his drama in my life.

 

[Charlie No-One]

An ex who is now a close friend and opened up to Schlosser about his problems.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

But that's where it should have ended. He shouldn't have went out of his way to get involved.

 

[Charlie No-One]

I disagree. He was just being a good friend.

 

[Marx]

I'm not quite sure why being able to remain friends with an ex is such a foreign concept to some on this board.

Schlosser did nothing wrong. Dustin and Mark are both very good friends of his and he was just trying to help them out. His heart was in the right place. The fact that Schlosser is also Mark's ex definitely takes it to another level, but it isn't his fault that Dustin took his comments the wrong way.

 

[AndThePickles]

I think it would have been different if he'd been talking about things to Dustin in the first place. But for him to out of the blue message Dustin on Facebook about it is just inappropriate to me. If he and Dustin had been in person and the topic presented itself, it'd be different.

 

[ComicChick]

I think it would have been different if he'd been talking about things to Dustin in the first place. But for him to out of the blue message Dustin on Facebook about it is just inappropriate to me. If he and Dustin had been in person and the topic presented itself, it'd be different.

ageed

 

[knowsbleed]

Yes.



... I don't even know what this thread is about.

 

[Spider-Who?]

I don't get this new trend of being friendly with your ex.....ex is an ex....lose my number, come get your ****, and **** off

this.

Far as the OP goes, I don't think you should have said anything. But I can see where, as a friend, you felt it to be your duty to try and help. With that in mind, it would have helped your intentions if you were A) more clear with your message and B) less accusatory.

The new boyfriend likely feels you to be a threat (which is a natural thing), and didn't appreciate you ("THE EX") to be getting in their grill and telling him how to handle a relationship you have no part in.

Apologize and explain that you meant only to help your friend, and leave it alone. Anything further is just gonna piss em off even more.

 

[LOBO3315a]

I don't get this new trend of being friendly with your ex.....ex is an ex....lose my number, come get your ****, and **** off

Reminds me of something my X-wife said when we were going through our divorce. She thought that we could remain friends even though she was hooking up with a 24 year old guy behind my back. All the reasons we were divorcing had nothing to do with that, of course. It was because I was on the computer too much, couldn't hold a job, and didn't spend enuff time with my son.... Sorry, I can't be friends with someone who lies to me, and can't be honest with themselves on their own shortcommings in the relationship.

And to the O/P, you are right to be there for your friend, but wrong approaching the other person about it. Be there for your friend, but don't get any further entangled in the relationship mess.

 

[Spider-Who?]

Reminds me of something my X-wife said when we were going through our divorce. She thought that we could remain friends even though she was hooking up with a 24 year old guy behind my back. All the reasons we were divorcing had nothing to do with that, of course. It was because I was on the computer too much, couldn't hold a job, and didn't spend enuff time with my son.... Sorry, I can't be friends with someone who lies to me, and can't be honest with themselves on their own shortcommings in the relationship.

And to the O/P, you are right to be there for your friend, but wrong approaching the other person about it. Be there for your friend, but don't get any further entangled in the relationship mess.

change "wife" to "fiance" and "computer/job/son" stuff to "not always being able to get her out of her depression" and we have the same story.

 

[BlackLantern]

change "wife" to "fiance" and "computer/job/son" stuff to "not always being able to get her out of her depression" and we have the same story.

because that all of a sudden becomes YOUR responsibility?? wow

 

[Spider-Who?]

because that all of a sudden becomes YOUR responsibility?? wow

heh, there was one time, she was on a train to come back home. we hadn't seen each other in nearly a month. She called me and was pissed off and stressing because "some people on the train were too loud". I said something to the tune of "well, hook up your ipod and zone out" and she blew up at me. We then argued for the remainder of her train ride (2 hours), she wouldn't hug/kiss me when I picked her up, and refused to talk when i took her to dinner.

Turns out, I should have said "it will be okay".

But yes, I was the reason for the break up.

But back on topic...

 

[Anubis]

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Relationships would be easy if it weren't for the damn people in the relationship.

 

[Wylie Times]

You don't interfere in friends relationships unless one person is doing physical harm to the other and even then you're bound to get in lots of trouble for that.

If a friend needs a shoulder to cry on or just needs to vent cool, but don't give ANY advice nor allow yourself to get too wrapped up in their problems.

 

[xisaacx]

If someone confides in you, NEVER go to the person they are talking about..you let them solve it. You are in the wrong pal, even with good intentions sorry.

 

[8wid]

Be there to talk, but don't lecture to them what to do and encourage them to figure it out for himself, making sure only he can be really true to himself.

 

[Speedball]

I don't think you were wrong to at least try to communicate with him that something is going on, and that he might not realize it. And i don't think what you said to him was "You two need to break up now". But then again, all you did was summarize what you said in the message.