what do you look for in a girl or guy?

[The Apatow Crew]

Herr Logan has a point. While sex may not be the most important part of the relationship, it's up there. If you aren't "sexually compatible" with someone, and you are stuck in a marriage, unless that person is open minded, communicative and understanding, it could lead to serious problems.

Look at Dr Erz here.

 

[Herr Logan]

Certainly true - but that's not what Herr Logan is advocating. He's been encouraging monogamous, committed relationships for sex - just not marriage. He thinks people should have a testdrive before buying the car, and I go by another metaphor, that is, "if you want milk, buy the cow, then you'll get the milk."

Moooo. t:

That's one of the most ignorant and immature metaphors one could use for this situation.

I'd consider it quaint if it wasn't so destructive and likely to lead to needless hardship.

 

[Sofa]

Look at Dr Erz here.

You love conflict.

 

[Ronny Shade]

conflict is the mother of drama

 

[Herr Logan]

Herr Logan has a point.

Sing it, brother.

While sex may not be the most important part of the relationship, it's up there. If you aren't "sexually compatible" with someone, and you are stuck in a marriage, unless that person is open minded, communicative and understanding, it could lead to serious problems.

Exactly. It's definitely one of those things two people should discuss and explore in practice before binding themselves together in a contract that can be annoying at best and costly and painful at worst to get out of.
You have to be strongly opposed to common sense and our own "God-given" human intelligence to refuse to look into those issues before marriage. Or just a slave to other people's values and expectations, which is unforgivably weak if it leads to major problems that could have been avoided.

 

[Erzengel]

Look at Dr Erz here.

Actually I think I would have made a good therapist.

 

[Cyrusbales]

therapist= the rapist

 

[The Apatow Crew]

You love conflict.

No i :heart: you. t:

 

[Erzengel]

therapist= the rapist

Sh't I forgot the space between the "e" and the "r".

 

[Ronny Shade]

JEPH LOEB!

 

[AnimeJune]

Sing it, brother.



Exactly. It's definitely one of those things two people should discuss and explore in practice before binding themselves together in a contract that can be annoying at best and costly and painful at worst to get out of.
You have to be strongly opposed to common sense and our own "God-given" human intelligence to refuse to look into those issues before marriage. Or just a slave to other people's values and expectations, which is unforgivably weak if it leads to major problems that could have been avoided.

Dammit, Herr Logan!

I'm not a fundamentalist, and I'm not an idiot. I'm not a slave - I've thought about the situation, and the choice I've made is the choice I'm most comfortable with. I only WANT to have sex with one person - the person I'll share the rest of my life with. I'm not saying I wouldn't discuss sex before marriage, or do other fun things before marriage (just not actual sex), and I'm not saying it's the best choice for everyone.

But it's not a bad choice as it is. Herr Logan, I thought we were having reasonable discussion, but so far you haven't even bothered to be polite. You're contemptuous of my choice, you're contemptuous of my beliefs. We live in a world of siphylus, AIDS, hepititis, unplanned pregnancy. My beliefs are that sex is something that should be reserved for your life partner. You work at it - you become compatible.

Why is it so hard to believe that this is MY choice, Herr Logan?

 

[Erzengel]

AJ

If you want to wait til marriage to well consumate, more power to you. Not many people are able to make that sort of long commitment, a year, 2 years maybe longer. If you can?

I've read your posts and it's very easy in your present situation of not really having a longterm serious relationship to say "Hey, I wanna save myself for marriage." You'd be surprised what a boyfriend does and quite frankly, it takes a special guy to be patient. I know of people who got cheated on because they wanted to remain chaste.

Secondly, I truly believe that you should have a healthy sex life with your partner but if you aren't sexually compatible that could truly be an issue down the line and something that should be discussed or known before you tie the knot.

Lastly, STDs and what not can still be contracted even with a long time partner who's not completely honest, or is unware that he contracted something.

 

[War Lord]

AJ

If you want to wait til marriage to well consumate, more power to you. Not many people are able to make that sort of long commitment, a year, 2 years maybe longer. If you can?

I've read your posts and it's very easy in your present situation of not really having a longterm serious relationship to say "Hey, I wanna save myself for marriage." You'd be surprised what a boyfriend does and quite frankly, it takes a special guy to be patient. I know of people who got cheated on because they wanted to remain chaste.

Secondly, I truly believe that you should have a healthy sex life with your partner but if you aren't sexually compatible that could truly be an issue down the line and something that should be discussed or known before you tie the knot.

Lastly, STDs and what not can still be contracted even with a long time partner who's not completely honest, or is unware that he contracted something.

I think the point of being "sexually compatible" is very much an overplayed card. A person who loves his partner is more than willing to learn what pleases the other person and will do, within reason, what pleases his partner.

I know for a fact that there is a 99.9% chance that "it" will fit and that's all that really matters.

 

[TheCarter]

I really like ****ty girls. I don't know why.
There was this pretty cute really nice girl who liked me but I kinda blew her off because she was too sweet.

I think this will probably be a problem down the line. When I'm 50 and alone.

 

[War Lord]

I really like ****ty girls. I don't know why.
There was this pretty cute really nice girl who liked me but I kinda blew her off because she was too sweet.

I think this will probably be a problem down the line. When I'm 50 and alone.

You'll have the time of your life, because most middle aged women or older will have had many boyfriends or even husbands by that time.

 

[Tangled Web]

Premarital sex is the way to go.

 

[Erzengel]

I think the point of being "sexually compatible" is very much an overplayed card. A person who loves his partner is more than willing to learn what pleases the other person and will do, within reason, what pleases his partner.

I know for a fact that there is a 99.9% chance that "it" will fit and that's all that really matters.

That's if the partner is willing to learn.

 

[War Lord]

That's if the partner is willing to learn.

I think you missed this part of the post.

A person who loves his partner is more than willing to learn what pleases the other person and will do, within reason, what pleases his partner.

 

[Erzengel]

I know girls who like to give guys keys to come into their house while they are sleeping to have their way with them or my favorite like to be punched hard in the boobs.

But like you said, within reason. LOL

 

[War Lord]

I know girls who like to give guys keys to come into their house while they are sleeping to have their way with them or my favorite like to be punched hard in the boobs.

But like you said, within reason. LOL

could you give me the names and numbers of those women that like to be done while they're sleeping?

 

[muertevilla]

that is so true.
i hate the "having sex the first night" curse.
he'll either never call (and that's fine because usually i don't want them to after having lame, freaky first night sex).
or he wont stop calling because he thinks it's a sure thing from there on out.
it's a no win situation!
what ever happened to dating!?
the first night kiss.
the anticipation of getting to second base?
the excitement of knowing why you're shaving your legs above the knee!
oh, those were they days.

im an old fashioned gentleman. i prefer when they dont shave above the knees.

 

[Herr Logan]

Dammit, Herr Logan!

I'm not a fundamentalist, and I'm not an idiot. I'm not a slave - I've thought about the situation, and the choice I've made is the choice I'm most comfortable with. I only WANT to have sex with one person - the person I'll share the rest of my life with. I'm not saying I wouldn't discuss sex before marriage, or do other fun things before marriage (just not actual sex), and I'm not saying it's the best choice for everyone.

But it's not a bad choice as it is. Herr Logan, I thought we were having reasonable discussion, but so far you haven't even bothered to be polite. You're contemptuous of my choice, you're contemptuous of my beliefs. We live in a world of siphylus, AIDS, hepititis, unplanned pregnancy. My beliefs are that sex is something that should be reserved for your life partner. You work at it - you become compatible.

Why is it so hard to believe that this is MY choice, Herr Logan?

EDIT: Give me a while to maybe try and "nice" this message up a little bit. I don't know how old you are or how right it is to expect you to know anything at all about sex, relationships or marriage.

I'm not going to sugar-coat this, but I don't need to be as harsh as I've been. I think.

 

[heypapajinx]

Certainly true - but that's not what Herr Logan is advocating. He's been encouraging monogamous, committed relationships for sex - just not marriage. He thinks people should have a testdrive before buying the car, and I go by another metaphor, that is, "if you want milk, buy the cow, then you'll get the milk."

Moooo. t:

oh. well i'm all about after the holding of the hands comes the first good night kiss. then comes the feelskie under the shirt. then comes the feelskie down unda. then comes the dry lovin. then comes the "big night". of course i belive in sex before marriage. because i don't believe in marriage and i don't believe in abstinence so.... visa v. etc.
i'm just saying it's admirable to want to go further than sex within the first 10 minutes of meeting. that seems to be where i screw up.

 

[Herr Logan]

I think the point of being "sexually compatible" is very much an overplayed card. A person who loves his partner is more than willing to learn what pleases the other person and will do, within reason, what pleases his partner.

I know for a fact that there is a 99.9% chance that "it" will fit and that's all that really matters.

And what about when they aren't willing to do what pleases their partner? That's the kind of thing you find out when you're actually in a sexual relationship. If you're ignorant enough to wait until your wedding night to figure out that your partner isn't willing to make it work, then you pretty much deserve the lack of satisfaction and emotional tension that will come with it.



Something one of my professors told me (I forget whether it was Couple Relationships or Psychology of Interpersonal Relationships):

If a couple has good or even great sex, it doesn't mean the relationship is good, but if a couple has bad sex, it always means there's something seriously wrong in the relationship.

If you don't begin and begin to hone a sexual relationship before you're legally locked in, how are you going to get a fix on the baseline? Sex lives go up and down in intensity, frequency and other specifics, but you should get in a rhythm and understand what's going on so you know all the factors and signs in a long-term relationship.

Again, yes, I'm suggesting that you be in a long-term, committed relationship before having any kind of sex, but I'm not makiing decrees or whatever. As long as you're protected, safe in all other ways (Jonty knows what I'm talking about...) and not cheating on anyone, it's not immoral. Still, there's "not immoral," and then there's smart. Safe sex before marriage = smart.

 

[heypapajinx]

im an old fashioned gentleman. i prefer when they dont shave above the knees.

*rubs you down with prickly pears*

ooooo... you like that, don't you.
NOW MAKE HERR BABIES!

you mess with the girl!!! you get ze Hitler!