What do you look for in a potential partner?

Discussion in 'SHH Community Forum' started by Hannah Panana, Dec 30, 2018.

  1. Erzengel

    Erzengel |-o-| (-o-) |-o-|

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    Good combat skills, I like to feel like it's a challenge when we fight for her hand.
     
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  2. GunBlade

    GunBlade Registered

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    The list is endless. Main requirements are:

    Christian
    Respectful
    Strong and hardworking
    Intelligent

    If you are a male possessing these qualities feel free to get at me.
     
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  3. terry78

    terry78 Ooooh Angela

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    Sense of humor
    Somebody willing to call me out on my ****. As guys I think we all secretly want this last one even if we claim we don't.
     
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  4. Mandon Knight

    Mandon Knight You'll believe a man can fly

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    I think once you get really close with someone in a growing, loving relationship you know where the boundaries are with each other and bounce off each other in having 'fun' in the dialogue between you and knowing that it won't hurt the other or cause some related pain to their past for example and you both feel 'at ease' in conversation with each other on virtually every subject.
     
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  5. Mandon Knight

    Mandon Knight You'll believe a man can fly

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  6. Flash525

    Flash525 The Scarlet Messenger

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    Something tells me tomorrow will be just as unfruitful for me as any other day this year. :rolleyes:
     
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  7. Mandon Knight

    Mandon Knight You'll believe a man can fly

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    Go for it, give it a whirl.
     
  8. Flash525

    Flash525 The Scarlet Messenger

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    I've already got that dreaded Tinder app on my phone. I'll give it a try again, then will report back Monday that there's nothing to report. :confused:
     
  9. Mandon Knight

    Mandon Knight You'll believe a man can fly

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    Obviously it depends on what and how you are looking for, and it's absolutely 'personal' choice, but Tinder, to me, is not a 'dating' site, you are not going to find a prospective partner on there, immediate sexual relief, yes, but I'd doubt very much, long term 'love'. I could be wrong obviously, but I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole, but that's more about me, and my processes of relationships than it is the site per say.
     
  10. Flash525

    Flash525 The Scarlet Messenger

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    I think you have a misconception about Tinder; it has been labelled as your typical hookup app, and I'm sure many people do use it with that very purpose, however I know for a fact of many people who have met through Tinder that are now in happy relationships, some of which are even married - and they used Tinder to find that happiness.

    Tinder, ultimately, is no different from a dating website in that it's primarily catered toward how good that first profile picture of you is. That's what you're going to be immediately judged on. If that gets approval, then the rest of your photos will get looked at, and your profile will be read. It doesn't matter what platform you use (a swiping app, or a website), that is the method by which they work.

    If you don't have the desired looks, then the only way to meet people is through real-world interactions where you're judged more on the person you are, rather than the face and/or photo you share on a virtual platform. I've used multiple websites and apps through the last several years, all with the same outcome, and whilst I've got several dates out of them, I still find myself single. I'm not looking for hookups; that element of society has never quite appealed to me (I don't know why?); I'm in it for the long game, which is seemingly taking a long time.

    I suppose the singular difference with the swiping apps is that you have to match to message, whereas with a site, you can send a message whenever you want. The difference here though is that with swiping apps, when you send a message you've already been given an element of approval, whereas sending a message on a website, you're essentially shooting in the dark.

    Women on websites quite likely are bombarded with messages from guys, whereas with apps, they're only going to get messages from people they've approved. There's pros and cons to each platform.
     
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  11. Mandon Knight

    Mandon Knight You'll believe a man can fly

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    I wouldn't personally use any 'dating' sites for quick 'sex' or casual flings. I have personal rule I don't have sexual relations with someone who I don't feel 'true love' for, so 'hook-ups', one night stands and the like are just a no-go for me. Like you dude, I'm in for long term, long standing relationship, my 'dating' history and GF history is limited to say the least, I'm 44 in a few weeks and I'm at a stage of my life where I'd like to secure 'the one', I feel this year, it's for me, amongst my top priorities in life or at the very least, be further down the road with it.
     
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  12. Flash525

    Flash525 The Scarlet Messenger

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    I've been of this mindset for the past several years. I'm not concerned with jumping from date to date, and if I only met and became romantically involved with a single person for the remainder of my life, I'd be more than content with that.

    It's just about finding someone that wants that from me too, which seems to be an impossible task. Still, I'm not a quitter, and shall persevere, even if it does kill me. :p
     
  13. Mandon Knight

    Mandon Knight You'll believe a man can fly

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    Best foot forward sir and all the best in one's search :up: Neither of us are quitters and I hope it doesn't kill either of us. :highfive:
     
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  14. X-Woman

    X-Woman Always Xperimenting

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    At this point I'd be happy just to find someone who doesn't have a syndrome that's listed in a psychiatry textbook.
     
  15. Flash525

    Flash525 The Scarlet Messenger

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    @Mandon Knight
    ;)
     
  16. Mandon Knight

    Mandon Knight You'll believe a man can fly

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  17. Flash525

    Flash525 The Scarlet Messenger

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    Haha, no. I was reporting back that there was nothing to report back, as I predicted. :p
     
  18. Mandon Knight

    Mandon Knight You'll believe a man can fly

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    :p but I mean :( for you as such, if that makes sense. It will happen dude. 2019, year of change.
     
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  19. Hannah Panana

    Hannah Panana Registered

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    Why not trying the old-fashioned way? Face to face at a bar, maybe at some social gathering? I think it's way better and chatting for a long time until you decide to meet. I insist: it's nice to see the other person, how they move, how they talk, how the smell, etc etc. When chatting you get only the "idea" of someone but there's a lot that's missing.
     
  20. Erzengel

    Erzengel |-o-| (-o-) |-o-|

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    Whether it's at a bar, social club or online, some people will always have an easier time than others but you still just need to find that one person you connect with. It's like everything else, though you have to put the time and effort into it and just can't wait for something to fall into your lap.
     
  21. Flash525

    Flash525 The Scarlet Messenger

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    I'm working on that; I've joined some charity organisations and a walking group, not specifically with dating in mind, but with the idea to make new friends, expand upon my social circle, and, if the opportunity or circumstances arise, meet someone for a relationship. I'm not planning anything at this stage, I'm just going to involve myself and see what comes out of and of it.

    That is the simple truth of the matter, especially when approaching people. I've witnessed enough situations of public rejection that I wouldn't want to purposely put myself in that position.

    Ultimately, for me, and people like myself, who either lack the confidence, experience or who aren't your Brad Pitt lookalikes, it very much is about getting to know people who then see the kind of person you are or can be, rather than being judged off of looks, cause lets face it, generally speaking, good looks are great in the short term (or can be at least?) but if the personality isn't there, whatever it is just isn't going to last. I suspect this is why apps like Tinder work well for the more good looking guys, because the majority of Tinder users (so it seems) aren't thinking about five or ten years down the line, they're thinking of the now and what looks good in the moment, which is completely understandable considering the nature of these apps anyway.
     
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  22. spiderman2

    spiderman2 Registered

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    This times 1000 all the good ones seem to be taken already. Its very rare I see some one I find physically attractive by them selfs no matter where they are they are like always with another guy. A lot of it is luck because first this and than there is age I couldn't date some one much younger or much older than me just gross to me. Being with some one who could like be my kid or someone who could be old enough to be my mom is just gross. I am 29 and I joke some times about how maybe things will be easier when I am like in my 40ths because by than women will be divorced and not always taken already lol. Out side of those things I want some one who loves sports I am a sports nut and I want some one I could watch games with and go to games with and the average women I would drive crazy with my love of sports and with out sports I wouldn't have much to talk about has I dont known or care about much out side of sports. Also some one who could make me laugh and some one who is kind and has mainers. Some one who is trusting and can forgive and some one who dont mind staying home. I am not saying I always have to stay home but I am not big into like going out party type of thing do like to go to the movies though. I dont think I could find some one way overrate attractive either. I am not saying I couldn't go out with some one who has a few extra pounds but there is a big difference between just a few extra and a lot of extra bounds. Heck I am over weight my self by about 30 lbs trying to change that going forward. But I dont think I could find some one that weighs has much has I do attractive if they are average height. I am around 30 lbs over weight but considering I am average height and a average women is about 5 inches shorter than a average man and considering men tend to have more muscle a women weighing what I do would be more like 70 lbs over weight big difference between like 30 over and 70 over. I would also like to meet some one who is a christane like me and I keep kind of hoping I will end up meeting some one threw school.
     
  23. Flash525

    Flash525 The Scarlet Messenger

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    @spiderman2 , presumably you're also looking for a woman who doesn't care about paragraphs? :p

    On the second half of your message, I can relate; I wouldn't date someone old enough to be my mother, or young enough to be my daughter, and I wouldn't date anyone who's obese or anorexic (I'm talking those size zero models with no actual body to them). That's not remotely attractive to me. When I go on Tinder, or when I've been on other dating websites for that matter, if (and you'll have to excuse the judgement) someone who looks like they've eaten a Horse, or if they look as though they need to eat a Horse (if they're too thin) or if it looks like they've just faceplanted a cosmetics counter then I quickly move on from them.

    I'm no Olympic athlete, nor am I a model (have a bit of a belly), but I am quite active and wouldn't want to date someone that doesn't at least take care of themselves - but at the same time, someone who's stupidly athletic just wouldn't suit because we'd be leading very different lifestyles and long-term, that's likely to cause a clash.

    I wouldn't say you've only got a love of sports either - surely there's an interest in superhero media in there somewhere, else you'd not be on here. Some women (so I'm told) are quite into that. ;)
     
  24. Mandon Knight

    Mandon Knight You'll believe a man can fly

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    Nerd love is a thing, definitely, on both sides of the gender line.
     
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  25. Erzengel

    Erzengel |-o-| (-o-) |-o-|

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    Tinder is just like any other avenue, it's like going to a bar, what are the chances that you might find someone there? Small but at all possible. I's just about keeping ALL your options open and trying to find someone almost like a full time job.

    People who aren't overly good looking is just going to have to put more effort and go through more people until they find the right one.

    You have to be willing to open yourself up to things as well. I didn't travel before my wife. I never saw an opera, or a ballet. Yeah, I love traveling now and while opera is not necessarily my THING, but she enjoys it and you do things to make them happy.

    The same thing with sports or other interests. Yeah it helps to have the same interest as you is not always in the cards. There may only be one girl like that in your area versus a dozen girls who are more casual fans, or just like football or more college football.

    And if meeting someone who's Christian is important to you, you might want to try and meet women through church functions.
     
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