What SAVED BY THE BELL taught me!

[Road Warrior]

Everytime I watch an episode of Saved by the Bell I see that E/I icon at the bottom of the screen. That, of course, indicates that it's an educational program. Yet...after all these years I'm still not sure what I was supposed to learn from this show. That is why I decided to make a list of everything I did learn and see if there is anything there to convince me that SBTB deserves to be an educational show.

What I learned from Saved by the Bell:

1. No one will find it disturbing that SOMEHOW I managed to get poster of my school crush.
2. My friends will kill my pet Lizard.
3. High School has a population of 20 students.
4. All my teachers are either deaf, blind, or an annoying fat guy!
5. My friends will be in all my classes.
6. I'll have enough time to participate in every school activity and sport.
7. The Principal will not only be a sub for my class, but will trust me to install a CD player in his expensive car and deliver his baby when I'm trapped in the elevator with his wife.
8. If I get in trouble enough times my mother will have her own parking space.
9. I can hire an actor to pretend to be my father.
10. I can throw birthday parties in the Prinicpal's office.
11. The entire school will go out of their way to teach me a lesson.
12. My enemy and I will become best friends.
13. Caffeine pills will turn me into a crazy person.
14. My 15 yr old girlfriend will dump me for a college student.
15. At 17 I can go on a vacation to Hawaii by myself and hook up with a young MILF.
16. Even though I'm a D-student I can still get a 1500 on my SATs and get accepted into Harvard.
17. When I get to college I will finally realized that I'm hispanic!

Feel free to add more!

 

[britrogue]

LMAO! You have to confess tho, SBTB was great fun to watch.

 

[Catman]

Saved by the Bell taught me that the producers were pedos! All the actors on the show were underaged yet Kelly was in a bikini in every other episode and Slater was ALWAYS shirt-less and in tight shorts.

EDIT:

In other words, Saved by the Bell, taught me that its okay to *********e to 14 yr old girls.

 

[britrogue]

1. No one will find it disturbing that SOMEHOW I managed to get poster of my school crush.
Not these days, you can pretty much get anything on eBay!

2. My friends will kill my pet Lizard.
That was an accident. But yeah, never trust your friends to "pet-sit".

3. High School has a population of 20 students.
I wished! At least then I may have remembered everyone's names!

4. All my teachers are either deaf, blind, or an annoying fat guy!
That's just a fantasy

5. My friends will be in all my classes.
Again, another fantasy

6. I'll have enough time to participate in every school activity and sport.
IF you don't do your homework! Or sleep for that matter

7. The Principal will not only be a sub for my class, but will trust me to install a CD player in his expensive car and deliver his baby when I'm trapped in the elevator with his wife.
If your Principal is as gullible as Mr. Belding was then nothing would surprise me.

8. If I get in trouble enough times my mother will have her own parking space.
We like to do what we can to help our parents......

9. I can hire an actor to pretend to be my father.
Sure you can. The thing is, can you afford it, and are you likely to get away with it?

10. I can throw birthday parties in the Prinicpal's office.
And speed up time while you're at it....Hell, you can freeze time!

11. The entire school will go out of their way to teach me a lesson.
Well, there ARE only 20 of them. And they do have no life outside of school as we have already established.

12. My enemy and I will become best friends.
Gives us hope to continue being nice to people.

13. Caffeine pills will turn me into a crazy person.
Nope, pills of any kind will turn you into a crazy person. I think that SBTB was too focused on young kids to go into serious drug territory, but let's face it, that was what they were hinting at.

14. My 15 yr old girlfriend will dump me for a college student.
Possible. We tend to like older men

15. At 17 I can go on a vacation to Hawaii by myself and hook up with a young MILF.
Your mother is sick of the sight of you?

16. Even though I'm a D-student I can still get a 1500 on my SATs and get accepted into Harvard.
Again, never give up trying! You can accomplish anything!

17. When I get to college I will finally realized that I'm hispanic!
Yeah.........erm.......every story has a great ending?


t:

 

[Catman]

2. My friends will kill my pet Lizard.
That was an accident.

You are as gullible as Mr. Belding! Zack killed that lizard on purpose. It was his way of getting revenge on Slater for stealing Kelly away!

 

[britrogue]

That was a great episode

And don't call me gullible. That's not very nice.

 

[Catman]

SBTB taught me that there's no hope with dope!

And don't call me gullible. That's not very nice.

I was only kidding!

 

[Catman]

Dude...don't tell me you're watching it right now,too. DON'T TELL ME.

I plead the fifth!

 

[Showtime]

I am watching it right now, it's on 7am-9am on TBS of course.

What I learned from this thread was that the annoying E/I actually has some sort of meaning.

 

[mightiest_mortal]

What I learnt from SBTB was that just becauswe people seem like they have promising careers during the 90s doesnt mean a lot. (What the hell ever happened to Tiffani Thiessen?)

 

[SoulManX]

And that I can stand in the hallways for pretty much hours before getting asked to get to class.

 

[britrogue]

And that I can stand in the hallways for pretty much hours before getting asked to get to class.

That picture taught me that all of a sudden I want to be Elizabeth Berkley..................Lucky woman.

 

[Showtime]

I think it was because Jesse looked like a 30 year old soccer mom when she was on the shoe, boy were we wrong.

 

[Showtime]

Zack just solved the murder mystery and won 500 bucks.

 

[SoulManX]

Ah Zack the preppy with a heart of GOLD.

 

[SoulManX]

Saved by the Bell: Where Are They Now?

[ Thursday, May 11 ] @ 3:58 am — Filed under: tv, wtf
By: Corey —
Just about everyone my age has seen Saved by the Bell, and because it was a show my generation grew up with, I’d wager a bet that more than half of us have probably seen every episode of the cheesy Saturday morning television show (if not, don’t worry, there is no shortage of SBTB reruns). But whatever happened to the actors that played the classic characters of Bayside High? I got curious and decided to find out.



Zack Morris - Mark-Paul Gosselaar

By far the most popular character and actor of the bunch, Mark Paul Gosselaar has also been the most successful alumnus of the show. After a slew of made for tv movies (one where he notably date raped Candice Cameron from Full House fame) In 1998, Gosselaar starred in the mediocre feature film Dead Man On Campus, where he played a character comparable to Zack Morris with a drinking problem. After that it was a few more tv guest appearances and movies before landing a recurring role on NYPD Blue. After that was cancelled, Gosselaar gained another recurring character last year on Commander in Chief, which, unfortunately for him, is now teetering on cancellation. Tough luck, Preppy. Mark-Paul most recently saw the birth of his second child earlier this week. Here’s a fun fact: he met his wife on the set of Saved by the Bell: The College Years.

AC Slater – Mario Lopez

If you’re enough of a pop culture historian to know that AC stands for Alfred Clifford, then you probably also know Mario fell victim to the vicious cycle of made for tv movies and defunct television series’ such as Pacific Blue, or numerous shows on Animal Planet. Two years ago, he married the mega-hot Ali Landry, the supermodel most people know as the Doritos chick, but the marriage lasted for only a month before Landry had it annulled. According to IMDB.com, Landry left him because he was caught cheating on her at his bachelor party, as well as after they were married. No Doritos for you, Mario.

Kelly Kapowski – Tiffani-Amber Thiessen

Thiessen was easily the cutest of the SBTB bunch, and as such, scored the part of Valerie on Beverly Hills 90210. In 1999, her boyfriend, actor David Strickland of Suddenly Susan committed suicide. Last year she directed a short film called Just Pray, which screened and placed at several film festivals. She also married actor Brady Smith in the same year. Thiessen continues to be hot.

Screech Powers – Dustin Diamond

Sadly, the years have not been kind to Dustin. After SBTB ended, Diamond stayed on for Saved by the Bell: The New Class, an undisputed bomb. Around this time, he also dated Candice Cameron. For some time, websites occassionally sprung up to harass Diamond and his character ‘Screech,’ portraying him as a homosexual in a much less than flattering light. In 2001, he produced an instructional video Dustin Diamond Teaches Chess. His most notable appearances have been roles where he plays himself, such as in Celebrity Boxing, Made, and Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star. He currently works as a raunchy standup comedian.

Jessie Spano – Elizabeth Berkley

Elizabeth Berkley starred in Showgirls in 1995 and was subsequently de facto shunned by Hollywood, being relegated to minor roles in mediocre made for tv or independent films. I have it on good authority that this has caused her to once again become addicted to caffeine pills. Most recently she was in an Off-Broadway production of HurlyBurly, which opened 11 months ago.

Lisa Turtle – Lark Voohries

After SBTB, Voohries dated, believe it or not, Martin Lawrence. The only other noteworthy achievements the former Lisa Turtle achieved were a guest role on the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and a secondary role in the 2001 stoner movie How High. Ultimately, it appears Lark Voohries also fell victim to the post-SBTB success curse. Fun fact: She’s a Jehovah’s Witness. Yeah.

Tori Scott – Leanna Creel

No one cares about Tori.

Mr. Belding – Dennis Haskins

Oh how the mighty have fallen. First off, Mr. Belding has put on a considerable amount of weight. I’m also led to believe he is an alcoholic: here is every movie and every picture on collegehumor.com with Mr. Belding. Most of them have to either do with him doing shots, hanging out with college students, or drunkenly singing karaoke. Simply amazing. I remember when Mario Lopez, Dustin Diamond, and Dennis Haskins came to Ohio State a couple of years ago and Haskins was adamant that we do something to improve the world around us and better our fellow man. Apparently, bettering your fellow man involves butchering Tom Jones.

With the exception of preppy boy Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, the SBTB alumni have not been able to achieve any lasting mainstream success – what success they do garner will always be overshadowed by “Oh you were so and so on Saved by the Bell.”



Solution: Put Saved by the Bell back in production with the original cast and change the setting from a high school to an office. I tell ya, I’m sitting on a veritable goldmine with this baby.

 

[SoulManX]

 

[Showtime]

 

[Kaboom]

SBTB taught me to be nice to smart girls...because they can grow up to be strippers.

 

[SoulManX]

SBTB taught me to be nice to smart girls...because they can grow up to be strippers.

t:

 

[Dark Carnage]

I don't remember Tori at all.

Landry left him because he was caught cheating on her at his bachelor party, as well as after they were married. No Doritos for you, Mario.

Thiessen continues to be hot.

I have it on good authority that this has caused her to once again become addicted to caffeine pills.

She’s a Jehovah’s Witness. Yeah.

1: What a tit, why would youcheat on her?

2: Nice little nugget of information.

3: Hahahahhahahahaha.

4: Wow...

 

[chamber-music]

I learned the save by the bell cast can't rap
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Spyj90yhao

 

[SoulManX]

 

[britrogue]

Oh, how I LOVED that phone.
Where the hell did Zack keep it? It's way to big for his pocket. But how cool was he for having it?

 

[SoulManX]

The AC Slater dance

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAtUfWMpvAQ