Where Do Babies Come From?

[DBella]

My cousin's dad followed the Calvin's Dad method, and said they came from Sears.

I guess that's better than saying they came from K-Mart.

 

[SpideyVille]

My mom never talked about it with me. I didn't find out until my brother told me, and even then I didn't take him seriously.

 

[jaguarr]

I guess that's better than saying they came from K-Mart.

Some of them do, though.

jag

 

[Captain Planet!]

Some of them do, though.

jag

Only the cheap ones made with lead paint.

 

[DBella]

Some of them do, though.

jag

No wonder they're a mess. Have you been to K-Mart lately?

 

[The Original Bamfer]

No wonder they're a mess. Have you been to K-Mart lately?

Did you see the fabulous sale on Martha Stewart's towels! OMG!

 

[Dew k. Mosi]

My mom never gave us the talk. In Jr High, they took all the girls into one room and showed us a movie, and all the boys into another room where they played dodgeball or something. I remember though, I was 12 when I first got my period, the same week I got chicken pox, so I was absolutely miserable. My sister however, who was 10, told me very seriously, "You can have babies now."

 

[terry78]

My dad sat me down, and this is all true, I swear on everything. He said, "first, the man takes out his thing, and then he puts it in the woman's thing. Then, some stuff that looks like lotion will come out." The horror.

 

[Immortalfire]

My dad sat me down, and this is all true, I swear on everything. He said, "first, the man takes out his thing, and then he puts it in the woman's thing. Then, some stuff that looks like lotion will come out." The horror.

 

[DBella]

My mom never gave us the talk. In Jr High, they took all the girls into one room and showed us a movie, and all the boys into another room where they played dodgeball or something. I remember though, I was 12 when I first got my period, the same week I got chicken pox, so I was absolutely miserable. My sister however, who was 10, told me very seriously, "You can have babies now."

My school is having that 'talk', today and tomorrow actually, for 5th graders. They were really thrilled. Not.

 

[tzarinna]

Hmm, Dad's porn, T.V. and school. No talks.
Oh, we did have Encyclopedia Britannica and some old 70's books I probably shouldn't have been reading.

I too started the menstruation way too early, like 4th or 5th grade. I don't think I hid it well, 'cause soon after we were shown old sex ed movies.

 

[Manosman]

When I was like 8 years old my bestfriend's older brother showed us a porno, and after the initial shock and little bit of explaination on the big bros part it all made sense. He then told us santa wasn't real, haha

 

[Cunning Stunts]

My mother was a psychology major in her most recent visit to college, and after her class on "Psychology of Human Sexuality," in addition to her best friend (practically my aunt) being the head nurse on the base we were stationed on (and due to this, she wound up being my sex ed teacher in middle school), I got a number of sex talks.

My mom pretty much gave me her text book, and whatever she didn't tell me, the book did.

I felt like a sexpert at the age of 13.

 

[daniPHANTOM]

My mother told me a bird shat on a rock, and hatched me out....How loving, right?

 

[FaT_tONle]

I used to think babies arised naturally when women got older... I only learned the truth till they stuck us in the program.

 

[lollycop]

I was 8, read a book about where babies come from at the library, My mom or dad has never asked me anything sexual in my life or tell me anything about babies....

 

[Drakon]

My mum for example told me when i was a little boy that 'mummies take a tablet and then a baby is made that eventually comes out there belly' my fiances mother told her 'you make gingerbread mixture and put it in the oven and voila, a baby'

Not entirely related to the topic, but it reminds me of a story. WARNING: STORY IS MATURE AND NOT FOR THE WEAK OF HEART OR EASILY OFFENDED-READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

Spoiler

See, I have this friend in Pittsburgh. You'd really have to know her to appreciate her. For one, she pretty much hates everyone. No exceptions. Jews, blacks, her mother, EVERYONE. If you ask her, people just need to stop having sex, because penises are gross, and vagoo are grosser, and idiots don't need to be making more idiots.

She's also someone with a shocker, offensive sense of humor. Some of her AIM names include "Jesus is Worm Food", and "Salty Baby Batter".

Well, I didn't exactly get what the latter was, until I had made some sort of comment or something related to a Dead Baby joke, and referenced her name. She was completely lost, until I explained to her that "Knowing you, you'd bake them into a cake, and feed the cake to the mourning parents".

My parents didn't tell me jack squat. It was always a 'wait until you're older' type thing. I made due with what I could glean from standard TV and movies, the general run of related nonsense that elementary school kids talk about in such and whatever I could make out while watching scrambled porn on premium channels that we didn't pay for.

When they taught us Sex Ed in 6th grade, it brought about countless epiphanies. So many more dirty jokes made sense.

Same thing.

My school is having that 'talk', today and tomorrow actually, for 5th graders. They were really thrilled. Not.

I see what you did there.

 

[The-Dark-Knight]

My dad sat me down, and this is all true, I swear on everything. He said, "first, the man takes out his thing, and then he puts it in the woman's thing. Then, some stuff that looks like lotion will come out." The horror.

So funny yet so wrong.

 

[Poetic Chaos]

I learned all the sexual stuff from friends, TV/movies, and school

 

[That'ssuper!]

No parents told me. The Discovery Channel had a special when I was 11, that was all I needed.

 

[Captain Planet!]

No parents told me. The Discovery Channel had a special when I was 11, that was all I needed.

Since when did Discovery Channel show porn?

 

[SpideyVille]

This thread should've had a poll. It would've been interesting to see how many people learned from their parents or by themselves from porn or friends.

 

[The-Dark-Knight]

This thread should've had a poll. It would've been interesting to see how many people learned from their parents or by themselves from porn or friends.

Consider it done.

 

[Deep Thinkin'!]

My parents "forgot" to give me the talk... though my ended up having to tell me what the time of the month was when I got to it.

I found out all the dirty other details from school and random other places.

 

[SpideyVille]

Consider it done.