26 yr old Teacher pregnant with a 16 yr old students baby

[doih]

It goes without saying that if the genders were reversed it'd be a bigger issue. Women in our society have been put at a disadvantage by the physical and psychological manipulation of men. It's much easier for a 26-year-old man to impose his sexual will over a 16-year-old girl then it would be if the roles were reversed.

Even if the sex was consensual and the girl did it willingly, you could still cry foul because of the distinct physical advantage a normal 26-year-old guy would have over her.

However....

While I understand the laws and fully recognize them, I cannot for the life of me consider a situation like this to be rape. The pregnancy makes it far more dramatic, but I can't sit here with a straight face and tell you that a 16-year-old guy (who was on the football team no less) is being sexually violated by having sex with an older woman.

Within the guidelines of the school administration's rules, she has every right to be fired. But to consider this a criminal issue just blows my mind.

Quoted again

Ability for older man to coerce younger girl > ability for older woman to coerce younger boy. Plus possibility of pregnancy.

Most double standards are bad but there's a reason for this kind of double standard.

 

[Timstuff]

Please...for the love of all that is holy...

STOP. GENERALIZING.

Not everyone feels something like this is rape. Not everyone RESPONDS the same way to relationships, or sex, or rape, or intercourse with people in authority, or having a baby, etc.

This is against the law and innapropriate because of the rules of her job, and the law, and I agree that it's basically down to where this happened. What makes this, in its basics, inherently wrong or immoral? Keep in mind we don't know many details.

Shouldn't situations like this be...situational?

Personally, I think the larger issue is that she got pregnant. I really think letting a student get her pregnant is worse, in terms of impact on their lives in general, than just, say, sleeping with him for fun. But maybe that's what they wanted. Who knows.

Every single time this happens, both points of view surface in society, it's not one or the other. Men are not always hailed as heroes or painted as pervents, just as girls are not always considered victims or ****es. I'm fairly certain I've seen all the kids who have been reported as sleeping with their teachers as the victim in some fashion. But to a large subset of the population...that's a fantasy. Ditto a teacher sleeping with students.

It's already been said, but it bears repeating. Statutory rape and rape are two very, very different things.

I think it's kind of silly to suggest a 16 year old was "taken advantage of" by this woman any more than say, an 18 year old would have been. Again, people differ in their maturity levels. I have no idea what "used the boy and his hormone levels" means. That's kind of like saying "Used the fact that he was a male with a sex drive". Beyond maybe 12, there's no magic age when you're mature enough for sex that it wont mess you up. Should you be having sex unless you're prepared to "risk" becoming a young parent? Probably not, but let's face it, sex in our culture isn't always about procreating, at least on the surface.

And I think its silly to assume he will have terrible emotional issues over this, or that having a kid will ruin his life. Could he? Sure.

As for what people would do if a male teacher slept with a student. A male teacher in his late thirties at my school slept with two girls that were 16 and 17. He was considered a damned hero. And he was reviled. At the same time. Go figure.

As for the teacher needing respect, she's had sex with a student, and people knew about it. It's not a stretch to imagine others have, or wanted to do the same thing before him. I kind of wonder if there's really that much difference between "I want to do her", and "someone did her" when it comes to respect. Why is respect tied up in that, anyway?

The problem is that teenagers have very little self control in comparison to adults, because they do not understand the reprocussions of their consequences yet. That's not to say that 18 year olds aren't often immature, or that people under 18 are always immature, but the fact that this student chose to have sex with a teacher only proves that he was not mentally ready to be faced with that decision. It's true that lots of students fantasize about their teachers, but that only makes it that much more dispicable when a teacher takes advantage of one. Male students are much more vulnerable to being seduced when they are that young. This teacher took advantage of her position as a role model over someone's child who lacked self control that an adult might.

Simply put, if an adult sleeps with his supervisor at work, it's not going to psychologically damage him because his mind has already reached maturity. It's a very bad idea, but that's his decision to make, however stupid of a decision it is, and if he doesn't understand the consequences it's due to his own ignorance. A 16 year old boy however is not an adult. He is a child that has reached most of his physical maturity, and is still transitioning from child to adult mentally. I think that the problem with teacher student relationships should be pretty obvious.

Whatever though... If no-one else wants to take this seriously and have any fantasy shattered, I think I'll take a bit of a break. I've got pies to bake and I'm not about to have my Thanksgiving ruined by some skank whom I've never met who tricked a child into preggering her up. My opinion is backed by the rule of law, and as usual I am confident that justice will prevail over ignorance.

 

[The Apocalypse]

For people saying this is rape I can't understand how you can even think that. Go look up the definition of rape and come back here and apply it to this situation. Rape is usually a plea for power anyway, it's not because a guy wants to **** a woman. This kid was NOT raped. He no doubt knew what he was doing and he probably wasn't manipulated in any way. I mean, she started going to his football games. Maybe she had feelings for him. I know the age difference is frowned upon in society but sometimes things like this are uncontrollable and people don't have the willpower to keep their emotions at bay.

 

[katie_girl09]

I don't blame you, Timstuff. I too am utterly appalled at the blatant sexism in this thread. The sad thing is that most of the people displaying it don't even realize how sexist and ignorant they're being.

 

[katie_girl09]

This kid was NOT raped. He no doubt knew what he was doing and he probably wasn't manipulated in any way. I mean, she started going to his football games. Maybe she had feelings for him. I know the age difference is frowned upon in society but sometimes things like this are uncontrollable and people don't have the willpower to keep their emotions at bay.

Fine. But what I don't understand is why people refuse to accept that this can also be true when the genders are reversed. Is it so unfathomable that a 16-year old girl would want to sleep with a hot, older man? Especially since it's pretty much common knowledge that women mature at a very fast rate.

 

[Timstuff]

For people saying this is rape I can't understand how you can even think that. Go look up the definition of rape and come back here and apply it to this situation. Rape is usually a plea for power anyway, it's not because a guy wants to **** a woman. This kid was NOT raped. He no doubt knew what he was doing and he probably wasn't manipulated in any way. I mean, she started going to his football games. Maybe she had feelings for him. I know the age difference is frowned upon in society but sometimes things like this are uncontrollable and people don't have the willpower to keep their emotions at bay.

It's statutory rape by definition. That's not the same as chloroform and duct tape rape, but it's still a crime that needs to be punished. The reason it is statutory rape is because the victim was not capable of consenting because they are too young and are not mature enough to make a rational decision. You may not believe in statutory rape laws, but they are what they are, and they're not going away any time soon.

 

[The Apocalypse]

Fine. But what I don't understand is why people refuse to accept that this can also be true when the genders are reversed. Is it so unfathomable that a 16-year old girl would want to sleep with a hot, older man? Especially since it's pretty much common knowledge that women mature at a very fast rate.

I'm not saying that though. If a 16 year old girl wants to sleep with an older man that's her choice too and I'd have the same opinion as this situation.

It's statutory rape by definition. That's not the same as chloroform and duct tape rape, but it's still a crime that needs to be punished. The reason it is statutory rape is because the victim was not capable of consenting because they are too young. You may not believe in statutory rape laws, but they are what they are, and they're not going away any time soon.

Yeah I know that, unfortunately. The law shouldn't dictate what's an appropriate age to make your own decisions once you hit high school. If a 16 year old decides, on his or her own to have sex with a teacher multiple times, without any sort of manipulation then let them. I wouldn't want my kid doing that but in the end if it's consensual then label it as poor decision making.

 

[Motown Marvel]

i havent read through the thread, but we're all high-fiving about this, right?

 

[ALP]

Oh uhm. She's 10 years older than him. He's not legal in our country, she's a teacher. There's so much wrong with this. Seriously? What is wrong with you people in this thread?

Some of you seem to know so little about the American law.

Each US state has its own age of consent. Currently state laws set the age of consent at 16, 17 or 18. The most common age is 16.

• age of consent 16: Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Connecticut, District of Columbia, Georgia, Hawaii, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Vermont, Washington, West Virginia
• age of consent 17: Colorado, Illinois, Louisiana, Missouri, Nebraska, New Mexico, New York, Texas
• age of consent 18: Arizona, California, Delaware, Florida, Idaho, North Dakota, Oregon, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming.

Also would you okay with a pre-pubescent boy having sex if he were mature enough to be a parent? Let's say your 15 year old son is very mature. Would you be okay with him having an active sex life? If so, then fine.

Two-thirds of Dutch parents allow their teenage kids to sleep with their partners in their homes, according to a survey cited by the Salon. But rather than resulting in crazed teen orgies and high rates of teen pregnancy, abortion or transmission of STDs, the Dutch have far lower rates of these problems than the U.S. For example, the teen pregnancy rate in the Netherlands is just 12 pregnancies per 1,000 girls aged 15 to 19. In the U.S., there are 72 pregnancies per 1,000 girls the same age. The Dutch teen abortion rate is 20% lower than that in the U.S. And the rate of HIV infection in America is three times higher than in The Netherlands.

http://www.salon.com/life/broadsheet/2010/09/07/netherlands_teen_sex/index.html

Nambla thinks the age of consent should be 8 years old. Where should we draw the line? I say we stick with what we know to be accurate: if you are an adult (18+) you are at the age of consent. We know that most people younger than 18 are not emotionally or mentally mature, so they are not capable of making rational decisions about sexuality. They aren't done yet, which is why it's illegal.

Please read my reply to the first quote. Opinions are useless, facts are just a step up. In the majority of American states it is legal to have sex with a 16 year old. The problem has more to do with the it being student/teacher.

 

[Scourge2099]

Would you have done the same if it were your 16-year old daughter boinking her 26-year old male teacher? Not judging, just curious.

I honestly would do the same if it was my 16 year old daughter. If the teacher knocked her up it'd be a different story.

 

[The Squirrel]

While I am tempted to high five the kid for banging the hot teacher, this is still an adult having sex with a minor and that is icky any way you look at it. The teacher should be fired, and let the jury decide if she needs to go to jail.

 

[Cmill216]

I honestly would do the same if it was my 16 year old daughter.

"Nice job, Becky! Here's a Heineken!"

 

[Prison Mike]

So basically if they had waited one year, there would be no criminal charges filed against her?

 

[ALP]

So basically if they had waited one year, there would be no criminal charges filed against her?

No, even when the age of consent is 16 or 17, it is near universal law that the elder person, "cannot be in a position of authority."

When I lived in Spain there was a case of a male teacher who had sex with a young teenager. He was only prosecuted because she was a student, so the authority position stance goes across the board.

 

[Timstuff]

I'm not saying that though. If a 16 year old girl wants to sleep with an older man that's her choice too and I'd have the same opinion as this situation.



Yeah I know that, unfortunately. The law shouldn't dictate what's an appropriate age to make your own decisions once you hit high school. If a 16 year old decides, on his or her own to have sex with a teacher multiple times, without any sort of manipulation then let them. I wouldn't want my kid doing that but in the end if it's consensual then label it as poor decision making.

Well that's why we have much smarter and better informed people to decide how young is too young instead of letting random people with opinions on the internet decide what the age of consent should be, and whether or not it is appropriate for people to take advantage of their positions of authority in order to bang minors.

(thank God)

 

[Anubis]

Ha, smarter people making better informed decisions. That's rich.

 

[Timstuff]

So I take it that you have heard better arguments than our legislators for why teachers should be able to have sex with their students?

 

[Anubis]

All I'm saying is that these same smarter, more well informed legislators who decide such things passed a law that makes it a felony to own more than 6 *****s, and up until as recently as 2003, a misdemeanor to engage in homosexual activity.

 

[Hound55]

Smarter, better informed people who came to different opinions than other smarter, better informed people on what the age of consent should be in different areas...

 

[The Guard]

The problem is that teenagers have very little self control in comparison to adults, because they do not understand the reprocussions of their consequences yet.

As with anything, it's situational. I don't personally know a single teenager who doesn't understand that sex carries potential consequences. Young people (and adults) risk sex despite any number of consequences (broken marriages, STDs, mental issues, etc) because they like the outcome most of the time, or because they think they will, or because they're already emotional damaged.


Not because they are somehow ignorant of the consequences or of what the sex organs are designed to do. People who play the "I didn't know this would happen after it was drilled into my head for 12 plus years" piss me off.

That's not to say that 18 year olds aren't often immature, or that people under 18 are always immature, but the fact that this student chose to have sex with a teacher only proves that he was not mentally ready to be faced with that decision.

Based on what? The fact that he actually slept with a teacher?

It's true that lots of students fantasize about their teachers, but that only makes it that much more dispicable when a teacher takes advantage of one. Male students are much more vulnerable to being seduced when they are that young. This teacher took advantage of her position as a role model over someone's child who lacked self control that an adult might.

I don't really see any proof that he was "taken advantage of" here. Seemed pretty give and take/casual sex to me. Personally, I think in a lot of circumstances, men are more vulnerable to being seduced when they are older, and have experience, and know what's out there, and have slightly more confidence (hopefully). Anyway, all this stuff about what happened between this teacher and the student is speculation. Without knowing the details, I can't just assume them. Is it a possibility she took advantage of him? Sure. Or maybe she was insecure and he took advantage of her. Doesn't look she was real emotionally stable, at least in relationship terms. A 4 month marriage?

Simply put, if an adult sleeps with his supervisor at work, it's not going to psychologically damage him because his mind has already reached maturity. It's a very bad idea, but that's his decision to make, however stupid of a decision it is, and if he doesn't understand the consequences it's due to his own ignorance.

It's situational. Not everyone reacts the same way to situations, and not all situations turn out the same way as other similar ones do.

A 16 year old boy however is not an adult. He is a child that has reached most of his physical maturity, and is still transitioning from child to adult mentally. I think that the problem with teacher student relationships should be pretty obvious.

The problem is that it's a teacher student relationship. Got it.

But suggesting that the kid didn't know what he was doing, or that he didn't understand the consequences of his actions, especially without knowing this for sure, is premature in this case, and just naive.

 

[Hound55]

To me, the real interesting ethical question in this whole thing is the dilemma of State Sanctioned Abortions...

 

[Hound55]

To me, the real interesting ethical question in this whole thing is the dilemma of State Sanctioned Abortions...

 

[The Apocalypse]

Well that's why we have much smarter and better informed people to decide how young is too young instead of letting random people with opinions on the internet decide what the age of consent should be, and whether or not it is appropriate for people to take advantage of their positions of authority in order to bang minors.

(thank God)

That's a really unfair statement because there are a lot of smart people out there who will never get noticed due to whatever reason. But, on the flip side, I really do understand where you're coming from, I just don't agree.

 

[Docker2.0]

Where were these teachers when I was in high school?! Oh I was born to soon!