Anubis' "How would you do it?" Thread.

[The Question]

Helmet of Fate: John Constantine


What if DC's hard luck magick man got his hands on the largest repository of knowledge and one of the most powerful objects on Earth? Well, odds are, he'd try and make some money off of it. But, you know, after that?

The story starts with John Constantine, fresh of the plane from London to Salem (a friend needed a favor, as usual), entering a magic shop (the kind that sells creepy Aleister Crowley memerobelia and books full of disturbing phallic imagery, not the kind with the trick hats) to look for a book. When looking through the shelves full of fetuses in jars and old celtic pendants that were probably made in taiwan, he finds something that catches his eye: An old, dust covered helmet. The reason it catches his eye is, of course, that it's made of solid gold but it's only priced at twelve bucks. He buys the thing and then goes looking for a pawn shop who's owner actually knows his ass from his mouth, when something wierd, even by John's standards, happens. The helmet starts talking to him. Informs him that it contains all the mystical knowledge one could ever hope for, and the life essense of the now dead Lords of Order, enough power to make any average magician a living god. After some hesitation, John puts the thing on, and is transported to Dr. Fate's tower, located conveniently in no place at all.

The helmet gives John a crash course in the laws of the universe, and then sets himself up in the tower. Pretty nice, all things considered. But then the catch comes and bites him in the ass: He's got to keep the peace for all magic on Earth. Meaning, if god pantheons are having a feud, he steps in. If there's massive paranormal **** threatening lives, he steps in. If anyone in the ethereal realms are breaking any kind of rules, he steps in. Fun for him. The story would follow him dealing with Lucifer, The Endless, Wonder Woman, and him getting called on by the JSA when they're in need of Dr. Fate. The story would end with John showing up at Zatanna's door and throwing the damn stupid helmet at her.

 

[Zoken]

Question, that is one sweet idea. I especially like the end there... Kinda makes me wonder about a parallell in the Marvel Universe...

The Eye and Orb of Agamotto in the hands off... The Hood.

 

[Zoken]

A World Without Spider-Man Part II

After leaving the Bar, I made my way to Pete's new place in Queens. He, MJ, and Aunt May had been living there for a little more than month now. I hadn't been ready to face the greiving family without a little libation in me. as I entered a passed two women in buisness suits leaving the building. One looked vaugely familiar. I finally knocked on their door.

It was Aunt May that opened the door. She showed me in, and offered me some tea. I couldn't believe how strong she was being. I got to the living room, saw MJ, and just sat beside her for a while. We've been friends on and off for a while. Never spectacularly close, but when you both love the same man, you know you have somethings in common. She just laid her head on my shoulder.

"I though it would be easier," she said, sniffling. "Last time... he..."

"I know, sweetie," I whispered. I looked to Aunt May. "How are you holding up so well?" I asked, wondering what her secret was.

"Oh, I'm moving through the anger stage of greif right now," she said, almost pleasently. "The two women who passed you on the way out were Jennifer Walters and Mallory Book. I hired them to sue Norman Osborne, SHIELD, the U.S. Governement, and Tony Stark for wrongful death, pain and suffer, and pissing off an old lady." She gave a weak smile. I couldn't help but laugh. "They don't think I have a shot against the Government, but they both agree Osborne should be easy to take. Ms. Walters almost danced when I brought up SHIELD and Mr. Stark."

I was actually smiling as I cried with MJ. This was most certainly the woman who raised Spider-Man. A faint bell rang as I remembered the woman I'd recognized on her way out. She was Jennifer Walters, otherwise known as She-Hulk.

"Jonah came by," Aunt may said quietly. "He's dropping the law suit." she sipped her tea. "I don't know what convinced him to do that, but..." she trailed off sadly.

"If there's anything you two need," I offered. "I'm getting paid pretty well over at the Heroes For Hire, and I just want you to know I'll Help anyway I can." I put my arm around MJ, and Aunt May moved around to sit on the other side of the weeping red-head. The three of us sat there, weeping for a man we all loved deeply.

I don't know how Aunt May handled all the arrangements, but in two days time I sat with MJ there at the funeral. I got a lot of details at the wake afterwards, so if I talk about something I didn't witness, well that's why. They held it in St. Peter's Cathedral. I think it was mostly because of how many people were attending. With everyone in black, and more surprising, almost everyone was out of costume. A lot of people got up when the Preist, or preacher, or whoever it was, asked if anyone wanted to share a few words.

Robertson climbed up on the small dais where Peter's casket was. He looked at the casket for a while, like he was looking right at Peter. He noticably blinked away tears. "I knew Peter since he started working at the Bugle. He was an unusual boy back then. He wasn't the type to miss a deadline, or argue with Jonah, or try and throw around the fact that he was the only one getting pictures of a very popular subject. that was probably one of the things that tipped me off the most. Peter was humble. He lived by a few simple words, and made his life about others. Eventually, I guess, he made his death about others too." Robertson paused to clear his throat. "His Aunt asked me to say a few words up here and... well, I'm not quite sure what to say about Peter. He was a great photographer, decent scientist, a superb friend, and a hero without parallel. A lot of people wonder what we'll do without Spider-Man... but it isn't really the Spider that will be missed. It's the man. Peter. It was Peter's heart and soul that made him one of... no, that made him THE greatest hero this city, and maybe even the world has ever known. The world is clearly lessened by the loss of Peter Parker. The loss... of a hero."

He sat down, obviously, fighting back his own tears. Doc. Ock stood up not long after that and made his way to the stage, people were shocked to say the least, but as he'd moved slowly and without threat, no one did anything. Doc. Ock talked about how Peter was a singularly brilliant individual, who was without peer. It kind of made a point that Octavius was one of Peter's enemies, and he was talking about how he was going to miss him. Ock walked back to his seat, pausing to bow to Aunt May.

Tony Stark tried to stand up, but was easily pulled back down to his seat by James Rhodes. I wouldn't have understood that, if I hadn't tried to chew Stark out later... I could smell the vodka on his breath. Most everyone in the community knew, these days, that Tony was an alcoholic on the wagon. Knowing what this was doing to him, I couldn't bring myself to say a word. I did glare, but I restrained myself from actually talking to him.

The Fantastic Four were gathered together, mostly around Johnny Storm. He looked like he was shaking. Both Sue was holding their daughter, while Grimm seemed to be trying to console the boy. I can never remember their kids' names.

Matt Murdock, who was "secretely" the vigilante known as Daredevil, was sitting in the back, silent, with an expression of rage fixed on his face.

No one seemed to want to say much at all. When the few who could find words to speak were done, and the service was finished, I stood. So did Johnny Storm, Matt Murdock, Joe Robertson, Doc. Ock, and Luke Cage. in truth, only four of us were needed, one if it were just Luke or Doc., but Aunt May had wanted the traditional six pallbearers. We lifted the casket gently and carried it out. It was sunny. I almost wish it had been raining. It would have felt more appropriate. I looked around, including up (A habit that only those in the meta-human community are regularly in), and saw a small group on the ledge of a building. the sun was at their backs, so I couldn't identify them, but I had a fair idea.

We traveled to Calvary Cemetery, in Queens. Peter was laid to rest near his parents and uncle. I heard later that Tony offered him a place of honor in Arlington, where several other late Avengers, such as Scott Lang, the original Vision, and Mockingbird, were interred. She felt, and I had to agree, that Peter deserved to rest with his family. A prayer was said over the grave, and we all proceeded past to drop flowers in. Peace Lillies. I still don't know why Aunt May picked those.

We all left, and many, including Aunt May, MJ, and even Doc. Ock were invited back to Avenger's tower for the wake. It was a very quiet occasion, ocassionally interrupted by people doing what I and the boys did at the bar, but more animatedly. I had to laugh as I saw Johnny Storm re-enacting a fight he and Spider-Man had once had. He seemed to be pantomiming chiseling something. Tony seemed to have dissapeared. A lot of people came up to Aunt May and MJ and just down right apologized. Hank Pym, Reed Richards, and even those who didn't have much to do with it like Carol Danvers and Wolverine.

 

[Anubis]

Because, in addition to being an attention ****e, I'm an anal-retentive prick, They aren't Titans. They came before the Titans. They are Primordial Gods, Old Gods, Gods that are the personification of a natural force, not merely granted control over it (Remember, Hades, Zeus, and Posiedon drew lots to see who got what)

and I must be obscenelly dense... I can't figure out who you're refering to with "IM"

Iron Man, duh

 

[Anubis]

Good stuff Q. I hate the way they've basically cut off a lot of the Vertigo stuff that actually exists in the DC universe. Constantine should have definitely gotten a Helm of Fate one shot. But hey, guess what? Destiny of the Endless is in Brave and the Bold, so there's hope.


Zoke, good job on the death of Spidey stuff. Digging the whole thing. Keep it coming.

 

[Zoken]

And Now introducing the next contestant in the SHH's first every talent contest... the Board Boys...

Anubis, Deemar, Question, Corp, and Zoken walk up in beach shorts and hawaiian shirts.

I'm gettin' bugged crawlin' up and down the same old thread
I gotta finda new topic where the posts are hip

My buddies and me are getting real well known
Yeah, the Trollers know us and they leave us alone
I get around
Get around round round I get around
From town to town
Get around round round I get around
I'm a real cool head
Get around round round I get around
I'm makin' real good bread
Get around round round I get around
I get around
Round
Get around round round oooo
Wah wa ooo
Wah wa ooo
Wah wa ooo

We always take my comic cause it's never been beat
And we've never missed yet with the girls we meet

None of the guys go steady cause it wouldn't be right
To leave your best title shelved on Wednesday night

I get around
Get around round round I get around
town to town
Get around round round I get around
I'm a real cool head
Get around round round I get around
I'm makin' real good Bread
Get around round round I get around
I get around
Round
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

Round round get around
I get around
Yeah
Get around round round I get around
Get around round round I get around
Wah wa ooo
Get around round round I get around
Oooo ooo ooo
Get around round round I get around
Ahh ooo ooo
Get around round round I get around
Ahh ooo ooo
Get around round round I get around
Ahh ooo ooo

 

[The Question]

Good stuff Q. I hate the way they've basically cut off a lot of the Vertigo stuff that actually exists in the DC universe. Constantine should have definitely gotten a Helm of Fate one shot. But hey, guess what? Destiny of the Endless is in Brave and the Bold, so there's hope.

I actually had an idea for a "JLA: Classified" arc that's basically a big middle finger to the whole unnofficial Vertigo embargo thing. It takes place during the Morrison era, with Dr. Destiny forcing his older, crippled half brother, Alex Burgess, to help him usurp Daniel as Dream. Sounds like a laufty goal, I know, but when Dee binds Daniel with the same spell that his father used to bind Morpheus, and threatens to kill Lyta Hall before the now powerless Daniel's eyes, he gets his way. It doesn't take long for him to restructure The Dreaming to his liking, and even manipulate his fellow Endless. He then traps the Justice League, the President, his entire high school graduating class, that Janitor who always picked on him back when he was a medical intern, and pretty much everyone who'd ever gotten the better of him in The Dreaming. When Dee starts abusing his power, Death steps in to try and stop him. But Dee informs her that A) While she is potentially most powerful of The Endless, the very fact that she's personified as a cute goth girl simply wouldn't be without The Dreaming, and B) while she could probably kill him, he could trap everyone in the universe in unending nightmares, the only release from which would be Death. So, she backs down. It seems like only a crazy person would take him on now. Enter, Delirium.

She reasons that she needs to form her own Leage to stop him, so she brings together John Constantine, Swamp Thing, Tommy Monaghan, Crazy Jane, Danny the Street, Shade the Changing Man, Animal Man, Timothy Hunter, Hob Gadling, and Lucifer Morningstar as the universe's last hope against Dr. Destiny. She dubbed then, "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything." They storm the Dreaming, and are aided by the rebelling Merv Pumpkinhead, Cain, and Able. They also meet up with several dreams that closely resemble Ampersand, Arseface, Spider Jerusalem, and the ANgry Little Sunflower Kid.

Not sure how it would end, but there would be a scene where out heroes bust down the door, and when Dee asks who they are, John Constantine, with Tommy standing in front of him with a big ass shot gun, repplies "We're the ****ing Justice League."

 

[Anubis]

There's a thread over in the Misc comics section asking what licensed properties you would get if you had started your own comic company. So, using that as inspiration, I'm gonna take the opportunity to try and redo a few cartoons from my childhood that I've always felt had a great concept, but now that I'm an adult, realize that the actual cartoons were complete crap. So, here's how Anubis would do:

Thundercats

I'll start with a few of the changes I'm gonna make to the history.

The Thundarians were the rulers of a very large system of planets that made up the Thudarian empire. They had taken control of most of the planets in their system centuries ago by force, and subjugated the various races. For the most part it was peaceful throughout the empire. Not so much for the races like the Jakeel, the reptilian, and the primates though. They were basically slaves to the Thundarians. Made to mine their worlds for Thundrylium (a powerful energy source the Thundarians used to run their empire.) while receiving little in terms of profit, or say so in the governing process of the empire. Years of being treated like second class citizens and various uprising that were put down, mercilessly I might add, sowed the seeds of revolution. The various worlds came together and formed a united front, driving the Thundarians back to Thundara. Then, amassing into a massive invasion fleet, they attacked Thundara, slaughtering every Thundarian they could find. After the fall of The Thundarian's King, Leonidas (heh) the Insurgents started their own government, and set about hunting down all Thundarians who managed to escape the fall of Thundera. Also, they seek to locate the mythical Sword of Omens, which Leonidas was able to banish ,before his death. It is said that only the true king can reclaim the Sword of Omens, it just so happens that Leonidas' son and air, Lion-o, escaped along with the Kings' personal guard. So then was the Rebellions elite commander, Slithe, and his men sent to track down the would-be-king. They've hounded the Thundercats from planet to planet for years before eventually finding themselves stranded on an unknown planet outside the galactic rim which the inhabitants call third Earth.

A closer look at each of the warriors sent after the Thundercats

Slithe - No longer short, fat, and stupid. He's tall, slender, cunning, and vicious. resembling an an upright Komodo Dragon. He was on the planet Plun-Darr when the rebellion started, forced to work the mines, he saw his brothers and sisters die miserably in servitude to the "Hairballs". He's a firm believer in the his cause, and he aims to wipe out every Thundarian bastard he can get his hand on.

Monkian - One of the most powerful of the Primate warriors. He's quick, he's strong, and he's totally down for the cause. Coming from a warrior race, Monkian revels in the thrill of battle, once beaten out of his race by the Thundarians.

Jakel-mon - A cunning and brilliant strategist. One of the best of his people, who were instrumental in planning the siege of Thundara. He stands as Slithe's second. But he secretly has plans for leadership of his own. Ten years they've hunted the Hairball prince, and ten years they've come up short every time. Now, stranded on this primitive mudball, he concocts plans of seizing control for himself.

Vultaro - Scientist from the Avian race of the planet Radus. He's brilliant, and incredibly resourceful. They're survival depends on his ability to make something out of virtually nothing. He studied under the great Thundarian warrior/engineer, Panthro. Much of what he knows was taught to him by the Thundercat. He has a deep respect for him, and he's a bit of jealous as well.

They also lead nearly 200 battle hardened shock troops.

Well, that's the characters formally known as Mutants. I'll get back later with the Thundercats and their side of the story. As well as my redesign of Mum-Ra.

 

[Anubis]

And Now introducing the next contestant in the SHH's first every talent contest... the Board Boys...

Anubis, Deemar, Question, Corp, and Zoken walk up in beach shorts and hawaiian shirts.

I'm gettin' bugged crawlin' up and down the same old thread
I gotta finda new topic where the posts are hip

My buddies and me are getting real well known
Yeah, the Trollers know us and they leave us alone
I get around
Get around round round I get around
From town to town
Get around round round I get around
I'm a real cool head
Get around round round I get around
I'm makin' real good bread
Get around round round I get around
I get around
Round
Get around round round oooo
Wah wa ooo
Wah wa ooo
Wah wa ooo

We always take my comic cause it's never been beat
And we've never missed yet with the girls we meet

None of the guys go steady cause it wouldn't be right
To leave your best title shelved on Wednesday night

I get around
Get around round round I get around
town to town
Get around round round I get around
I'm a real cool head
Get around round round I get around
I'm makin' real good Bread
Get around round round I get around
I get around
Round
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

Round round get around
I get around
Yeah
Get around round round I get around
Get around round round I get around
Wah wa ooo
Get around round round I get around
Oooo ooo ooo
Get around round round I get around
Ahh ooo ooo
Get around round round I get around
Ahh ooo ooo
Get around round round I get around
Ahh ooo ooo

Lol

I actually had an idea for a "JLA: Classified" arc that's basically a big middle finger to the whole unnofficial Vertigo embargo thing. It takes place during the Morrison era, with Dr. Destiny forcing his older, crippled half brother, Alex Burgess, to help him usurp Daniel as Dream. Sounds like a laufty goal, I know, but when Dee binds Daniel with the same spell that his father used to bind Morpheus, and threatens to kill Lyta Hall before the now powerless Daniel's eyes, he gets his way. It doesn't take long for him to restructure The Dreaming to his liking, and even manipulate his fellow Endless. He then traps the Justice League, the President, his entire high school graduating class, that Janitor who always picked on him back when he was a medical intern, and pretty much everyone who'd ever gotten the better of him in The Dreaming. When Dee starts abusing his power, Death steps in to try and stop him. But Dee informs her that A) While she is potentially most powerful of The Endless, the very fact that she's personified as a cute goth girl simply wouldn't be without The Dreaming, and B) while she could probably kill him, he could trap everyone in the universe in unending nightmares, the only release from which would be Death. So, she backs down. It seems like only a crazy person would take him on now. Enter, Delirium.

She reasons that she needs to form her own Leage to stop him, so she brings together John Constantine, Swamp Thing, Tommy Monaghan, Crazy Jane, Danny the Street, Shade the Changing Man, Animal Man, Timothy Hunter, Hob Gadling, and Lucifer Morningstar as the universe's last hope against Dr. Destiny. She dubbed then, "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything." They storm the Dreaming, and are aided by the rebelling Merv Pumpkinhead, Cain, and Able. They also meet up with several dreams that closely resemble Ampersand, Arseface, Spider Jerusalem, and the ANgry Little Sunflower Kid.

Not sure how it would end, but there would be a scene where out heroes bust down the door, and when Dee asks who they are, John Constantine, with Tommy standing in front of him with a big ass shot gun, repplies "We're the ****ing Justice League."

Brilliant!!!

 

[The Question]

One of the running gags of the story would be Hob's basic uselessness, as his only "super power," if you could call it that, is being really really old. And I'd probably have John and Tommy have a drinking contest at leats once.

I'd really hope for a solo series. It would be lik DC's Nextwave.

 

[deemar325]

Wassup fellas! I can never seem to be on here when you guys are.


I miss being able to chat on the SHH regularly.

 

[sandwraith]

So I can post any storyline ideas here? Original characters or existing ones?

 

[MaskedManJRK]

I actually had an idea for a "JLA: Classified" arc that's basically a big middle finger to the whole unnofficial Vertigo embargo thing. It takes place during the Morrison era, with Dr. Destiny forcing his older, crippled half brother, Alex Burgess, to help him usurp Daniel as Dream. Sounds like a laufty goal, I know, but when Dee binds Daniel with the same spell that his father used to bind Morpheus, and threatens to kill Lyta Hall before the now powerless Daniel's eyes, he gets his way. It doesn't take long for him to restructure The Dreaming to his liking, and even manipulate his fellow Endless. He then traps the Justice League, the President, his entire high school graduating class, that Janitor who always picked on him back when he was a medical intern, and pretty much everyone who'd ever gotten the better of him in The Dreaming. When Dee starts abusing his power, Death steps in to try and stop him. But Dee informs her that A) While she is potentially most powerful of The Endless, the very fact that she's personified as a cute goth girl simply wouldn't be without The Dreaming, and B) while she could probably kill him, he could trap everyone in the universe in unending nightmares, the only release from which would be Death. So, she backs down. It seems like only a crazy person would take him on now. Enter, Delirium.

She reasons that she needs to form her own Leage to stop him, so she brings together John Constantine, Swamp Thing, Tommy Monaghan, Crazy Jane, Danny the Street, Shade the Changing Man, Animal Man, Timothy Hunter, Hob Gadling, and Lucifer Morningstar as the universe's last hope against Dr. Destiny. She dubbed then, "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything." They storm the Dreaming, and are aided by the rebelling Merv Pumpkinhead, Cain, and Able. They also meet up with several dreams that closely resemble Ampersand, Arseface, Spider Jerusalem, and the ANgry Little Sunflower Kid.

Not sure how it would end, but there would be a scene where out heroes bust down the door, and when Dee asks who they are, John Constantine, with Tommy standing in front of him with a big ass shot gun, repplies "We're the ****ing Justice League."

I would SO f**king buy that.

 

[sandwraith]

Batman: The Demon you know

Distracted a series of vicious crime waves, Bruce Wayne returns to Wayne Enterprises only to discover that a percentage of his stocks has been bought by a Russian oil firm looking to expand their horizons. At first, Bruce is concerned about the large chunk of his company's stocks under foreign control but it forced to ignore the problem when Gotham is faced with the terror of a new drug on its streets known as "Primal". Pretending to be on a ski trip and working up his playboy angle, Bruce returns from the Primal problem only to come face to face with this mysterious Russian shareholder: Nyssa Raatko A.K.A the Demon's other daughter. Nyssa makes it known that she has intentions of taking Wayne Industries for herself but her agenda is a far cry from her father's. Instead of trying to cull humanity, Nyssa will use the wealth of both the League of Assassins and Wayne Enterprises to build a better world by finding solutions to end World hunger, the energy crisis, end unemployment in Gotham..pretty much everything Bruce could have done if he had dedicated himself into Wayne Industries but didn't.

While Bruce could just blow the whistle on Nyssa's parentage, Nyssa gently reminds Bruce that a discreet paper trail would suddenly appear, leading certain people to certain secrets which could effectively turn WE into Gotham's Enron would the people discovers that Bruce has been funding a great majority of the company's money into his private war on crime as Batman. Inquiries would soon follow, as would drop in stock prices, layoffs and ultimately Bruce's secret as Batman would be revealed.

Nyssa uses Bruce's playboy image against him, manipulating the Board of Directors and key Shareholders into supporting her bid to take over the company. When Bruce is forced to take leave due to an Outsiders/JLA event during an important shareholders meeting, Nyssa makes her move when confidence in Bruce Wayne as CEO is at its all time low. Nyssa takes over Wayne Enterprises and all its property which includes Wayne Manor the rest of the estate effectively leaving Bruce homeless.

Nyssa, as the victor of their corporate war claims Wayne Manor as her her prize, forcing Bruce to leave Alfred in charge of the mansion. Bruce swears that their little battle isn't over, Nyssa couldn't care less. Soon a weird bond of respect is formed between Nyssa and Alfred and later Alfred starts questioning his loyalties.

Of course, Batman would not be Batman without having a contingency if something like this were to happen so Bruce would have a tidy sum (in the billions) lying in a Swiss account or something. Seeing this as a way to get back to his roots though, Bruce decides to give control of the account to Oracle and reinvents himself as "Grey Hendricks", an ex-street fighter hoping to make a living in the Spanish Quarter of the Gotham's slums. Bruce goes back to basics, less tools, more brains. He does something he hasn't done in a good long while: he interacts with people he's sworn to protect. He becomes more of a Protector of the Innocent rather than the "Lord of the Night" gimmick his been slapped with as of late. Also, I'd like to see Bruce a little older in this story, maybe early 40s, a more debonair air about his presence, gray hair and such. He uses his other Bat enclaves around city but Nyssa has told him that she has no interest in getting in the way of his work as Batman so he's welcomed to use the Batcave...if he asks nicely.

 

[spideyboy_1111]

Sins Past: simply some how let peter get ahold of gwen's secret diary at the end, he reads about the night she slept with Norman. And it would have read something like this..

"I'm not quite sure why i did the things i did the other night, it was all a big blur, it was if i wasn't myself. I feel Ashamed, thats not who i was. Infact, i just remembered going over there to check in on Harry. Last thing i rember was waking up in Normans bed.... i felt sick. I left before he woke. My head was dizzy, too much alchohol i guess... which is funny, i don't even really like to drink.

My stomach has been feeling nauscious, and i've been throwing up for the past few days... im starting to fear the worst.... am i pregnant? What will Peter think? i'm so ashamed... What do i do? I can't believe i slept with that dispicable man... thats not me, who was it?"

Peter would put down the book... shed a tear... and realise Gwen wasn't herself... He knew Gwen really didn't drink, so he, in a rage went to Normans cell beat the hell out of him while all he did was laugh... and said..
"Peter peter peter... how i love making your life hell, Gwen tasted so good too that night sure... she was nearly out of it... and said your name over... and over again... she was so drugged she didn't even know it was me, not till morning that is *gives a crooked smile*... poor girl too... thought it was herself who made the mistake the whole time... when it was you for falling for her, her being so close you ... easy to fall victim to a predator like me

 

[The Question]

I would SO f**king buy that.

Also, the way I'd bypass the livng Deus Ex Machina that is Lucifer is that I'd have Dee conjure up the Saint of Killers, and he and Lucifer would go at it.


But really, if you think about it, the Vertigo embargo is messed up. I have some old issues of the Giffen/DeMattes/Maguire era of the Justice League that have adds for the (then) upcoming issues of Hellblazer and Sandman.

 

[Anubis]

Batman: The Demon you know

Distracted a series of vicious crime waves, Bruce Wayne returns to Wayne Enterprises only to discover that a percentage of his stocks has been bought by a Russian oil firm looking to expand their horizons. At first, Bruce is concerned about the large chunk of his company's stocks under foreign control but it forced to ignore the problem when Gotham is faced with the terror of a new drug on its streets known as "Primal". Pretending to be on a ski trip and working up his playboy angle, Bruce returns from the Primal problem only to come face to face with this mysterious Russian shareholder: Nyssa Raatko A.K.A the Demon's other daughter. Nyssa makes it known that she has intentions of taking Wayne Industries for herself but her agenda is a far cry from her father's. Instead of trying to cull humanity, Nyssa will use the wealth of both the League of Assassins and Wayne Enterprises to build a better world by finding solutions to end World hunger, the energy crisis, end unemployment in Gotham..pretty much everything Bruce could have done if he had dedicated himself into Wayne Industries but didn't.

While Bruce could just blow the whistle on Nyssa's parentage, Nyssa gently reminds Bruce that a discreet paper trail would suddenly appear, leading certain people to certain secrets which could effectively turn WE into Gotham's Enron would the people discovers that Bruce has been funding a great majority of the company's money into his private war on crime as Batman. Inquiries would soon follow, as would drop in stock prices, layoffs and ultimately Bruce's secret as Batman would be revealed.

Nyssa uses Bruce's playboy image against him, manipulating the Board of Directors and key Shareholders into supporting her bid to take over the company. When Bruce is forced to take leave due to an Outsiders/JLA event during an important shareholders meeting, Nyssa makes her move when confidence in Bruce Wayne as CEO is at its all time low. Nyssa takes over Wayne Enterprises and all its property which includes Wayne Manor the rest of the estate effectively leaving Bruce homeless.

Nyssa, as the victor of their corporate war claims Wayne Manor as her her prize, forcing Bruce to leave Alfred in charge of the mansion. Bruce swears that their little battle isn't over, Nyssa couldn't care less. Soon a weird bond of respect is formed between Nyssa and Alfred and later Alfred starts questioning his loyalties.

Of course, Batman would not be Batman without having a contingency if something like this were to happen so Bruce would have a tidy sum (in the billions) lying in a Swiss account or something. Seeing this as a way to get back to his roots though, Bruce decides to give control of the account to Oracle and reinvents himself as "Grey Hendricks", an ex-street fighter hoping to make a living in the Spanish Quarter of the Gotham's slums. Bruce goes back to basics, less tools, more brains. He does something he hasn't done in a good long while: he interacts with people he's sworn to protect. He becomes more of a Protector of the Innocent rather than the "Lord of the Night" gimmick his been slapped with as of late. Also, I'd like to see Bruce a little older in this story, maybe early 40s, a more debonair air about his presence, gray hair and such. He uses his other Bat enclaves around city but Nyssa has told him that she has no interest in getting in the way of his work as Batman so he's welcomed to use the Batcave...if he asks nicely.

Not bad. Not bad at all. Too bad they killed Nyssa off before such a story could be told.

 

[sandwraith]

Bombs are a messy affair in comics. In a way Beechum used it to just shelf Nyssa till someone had the right idea for her, an open-ended device so to speak. It was about time someone created a more Corporate bad guy opposing Batman outside of Lex Luthor or the Moxxons. Part of me really wants to see Powers from Batman Beyond in the Bat-books.

 

[Zoken]

A World Without Spider-Man Pt III

Some times it's good to have drinking buddies in strange places. The day after the funeral I sat down at a bar and low and behold, who do I sit next to, but Songbird from the Thunderbolts. Of course, I knew here when she was a still "Screaming Mimi" but she hates that old name. Lately she's fallen on hard times as her team, the Thunderbolts, has been taken over by the government. I don't blame her for what happened to Peter. Like I said, I've known her for a while. She's not a killer. Maybe a little on the amoral side, but who am I to criticize that?

"Well, yesterday proved... educational," she said as I sat next to her.

"How so Mel?" I inquired.

"Well, It all started with the security cameras I had Abe install before he left..." she started.

Yesterday evening after the funeral

Tony Stark burst into the Thunderbolts training facility dressed in a wrinkled and askew black suit. "Thunderbolts OUT!" he barked.

All of them more or less obeyed, leaving Tony Stark alone with Norman Osborne. Osborne just grinned arrogantly as he stood there in a muscle shirt, sweat shorts, and a towel around his neck. "How may I help Director Stark?" Norman chuckled Tony's title as if it were a joke.

"You sadistic son of a *****!" Tony punched Norman right across the jaw.

Norman's face had turned with Tony's punch, but he turned back with that same arrogant smile. "Tony, Tony, Tony," he said in a patronizing tone. He suckerpunched Tony in the gut. "Let us recall that while you require your armor to do anything remotely super-human, I am, and always will be, the Green Goblin. Whether I have a desk job or not."

Tony doubled over, trying to suck in air. "You... you meant to... to kill him."

"Yes," Norman said with a sadistic grin. "You have no idea how hard it was getting to this position. Convincing everyone I was losing my mind, Making you think I was almost harmless... did you know that Moonstone has convinced my attendants to switch my pills for placeabos? Rather amusing considering they're placeabos in the first place." Norman grinned. "And now that you are on the sauce again... what is that Tony? Vodka? Whiskey? I always imagined you as a bourbon man myself."

Tony finally managed to stand up, looking at Norman venemously. "You have no idea what I can do to you," He growled at the Goblin.

"Please," Norman replied drolly. "I should fear some glorified drunk-driver? I know for a fact that you have systems placed in your armor that will not allow you to operate it while you are intoxicated."

Tony slunk out of the facility, clutching his likely broken ribs. The worst part was that he couldn't penalize Osborne for that, as he would have to reveal that A: he was drunk, and B: he'd struck first, and C: He'd hired the Green Goblin who had tricked him.

I found out the rest later from a rather interesting chat with Hank Pym (If you want to know how I got the information, I have to quote Julia Roberts: They're called boobs").

Tony fell into a chair deep within the bowels of the Initiative. "You alright?" asked Hank Pym, with a white lab coat over his Yellow Jacket uniform.

"It's time," Tony said darkly. "These Scarlet Spider teams aren't doing the trick."

"Time for what?" Hank asked, knowing exactly what his friend was refering too.

"Activate Clone Sierra-Sierra-Bravo-Romeo," Tony ordered.

"We didn't modify that one," Hank pleaded. "He has the memories but..."

"I know we didn't modify him..." Tony wiped his face. "That's why he's perfect the way he is."

 

[deemar325]

How Would Zoken Do "Who Wants to Be An Avenger?"

"Greetings folks, and welcome to 'Who Wants To Be An Avenger', I'm Alicia Masters," The Blind Artist greeted television audiences around the world. She grinned, despite thinking this whole thing was ridiculous.

"And I'm MJ Watson-Parker," Greeted the red-headed model beside her. "We will be your hosts through the world's first ever Super-Hero contest. There are 156 registered super-heroes competing for the right to call themselves 'Avengers'."

"Joining us today with the rules is the Director of SHIELD, and organizer of the competition, Tony Stark. Director Stark?"

"Thanks for the intro ladies," Tony said, wearing a SHIELD jumpsuit. "And please, call me Tony. The rules for this first round are as follows, the 512 Heroes have been divided into 32 teams of 8. They will compete in simulations, actual missions, and spars against each other for two months. in that two months the performances will be reviewed by their peers. at least five teams will be participating in any one event, and they shall all vote on the team to be eliminated. when their are only 8 teams remain, they will stop voting against other teams, and the teams will have to turn inward and vote on each other. At this point they will be asked 4 times to eliminate a team member by popular vote. when the last team member is eliminated, the fun really begins as the 32 remaining heroes will compete in the worlds first ever super-heroe sparring tournament. More on the rules of the tournament when we approach that time."

"Thank you for that, Director Stark," Alicia grinned. "MJ, I understand that the teams were assigned randomly."

"That's correct, Alicia," MJ responded, now ignoring Tony stark. "In fact, our man on the ground is there to interview a team now."

"Well then," Alicia said. "I guess we'll turn things over to our eyes and ears on the ground... Willie Lumpkin."

"Well, thank y' ladies, It's an honor to be here today," The Old mailman greeted the world. "I'm standing here with team number... ah, team number 12. Consisting of, a personal friend, The Thing, as well as, Nightcrawler, Ms. Marvel, Ricochet, Mr. Immortal, Falcon, Humbug, and Bruiser." The youngest member of the team, a twelve-year old girl, waved enthusiastically into the camera.

"Little ladie," Willy greeted the girl. "What do you think about bein' a part a' this team?"

"This'll be fun! I get to kick some butt!" Molly enthused.

"And what do you think, Ben?" Willy asked the Thing.

"Ah, you know me Willy, I'm doin' this fer charity," Ben explained. "Alotta us big name heroes, like me, Pym, Van Dyne, we're bein' donatin' fer every round we advance through."

"I always knew that heart 'a yours was your real power Ben," Willy said, patting the Thing on the chest.

"Well," Alicia said. "Willy, you've check on my boyfriend, I think it's time we turn it over to someone else who will check on MJ's man... or should I say Spider-Man."

"And on the ground interviewing my husband is his old highschool friend, and a war veteran, Eugene "Flash" Thompson." MJ introduced enthusiastically.

"Thanks Ladies," Flash said as he stood in front a group of heroes. "Have to correct you though MJ. Pete wasn't my friend until College, until then he was my punching bag."

"Now who's punching who?" Pete asked, as he gave Flash a good natured punch on the shoulder.

"YOu got that right Pete," Flash said with a smile. "So, why not introduce us to your team?"

"Okay, well, we are team 27," Peter began. "It's my honor to be teamed with Cyclops of the X-Men, a teleporter named Dusk, She-Hulk, Big-Bertha from Wisconson, Victor Mancha out of L.A., and Stature of the Young Avengers, and Cloud 9 who is new to the game."

The group waved with smiles, except for Cyclops, who thought this whole excersize was a bit ridiculous.

Flash walked over to Stature, "Are you aiming for the Big team?" he asked. "A lot of heroes are just here for recognition. Are you aiming to go all the way?"

"You know it Mr. Thompson," Stature nodded. "My father was an Avenger, and I intend to follow in his footsteps."

"How about you, Mr. Summers?" asked Flash. "Are you trying to get some mutant representation on the Avengers?"

"Not really, I'm doing this for charity, Frost Industries, and Worthington Industries are backing a number of X-Men in the tournament," Cyclopse said dismissively.

"And you Dusk?" Flash asked the woman dressed in all black. "How badly do you want to be an Avenger?"

"Well, I'd be honored to take the title," Cassie St.Commons nodded, "but I don't really think I'm Avengers material. It'll be some good exposure, and hopefully it will get me put on a State-Team where I can do some really good."

"Back to you Ladies," Flash said with a grin into the camera.

"Well, we've certainly got a diverse bunch on the ground there," MJ commented. "You know, If I'm not mistaken, I think I can pick out three from here that my husband fought... Oo, Four."

"Well, It will be an interesting year here," Alicia said as her cohost surveyed the crowd for former villains. "And we want to thank you for joining us here on, 'Who Wants To Be An Avenger'."

"Oh, Five!" MJ blurted.

heh,heh

 

[deemar325]

The Secret Wars: Herald Vs. Herald

Between siblings, small errant comments can become blown completely out of proportion. When Death makes a comment that sounds like she is taking superiority over all her siblings, an argument begins that turns into a bitter divider among the four compass points. before they can actually do any damage by attacking each other, The Living Tribunal steps in and tells them to settle things without their own direct action. They demand a judgment be made of who is greater. The Living Tribunal assigns Galactus to be the judge.

Galactus decides that a game shall be made. He chooses the most challenging field he can for it's setting: Earth. The rules are thus, as each of the compass points control a Force, they must select new hosts of that force, or new Heralds if you will.

Infinity, posessor of the Uni-Force assigns the Force to an insignifigant thug trying to comfort his ailing girlfriend as she gives birth. That thug's name is Parker Robbins.

Death, Possessor of the Phoenix Force, assigns her new host as Mr. Immortal, the best embodiment of the cycle of death and rebirth.

Oblivion, possessor of the Dark Force, gives the power of obliteration and corruption to the most twisted mortal he can find on Earth; Norman Osborne.

Eternity, possessor of the Wisdom Force, gives the gift of exponentially increasing knowledge to another seemingly insignifigant thug: Herman Shultz.

The rules are further defined that they could not chose former hosts, and the current hosts must be stripped of the power till the end of the contest, at which point the power will be returned.

this is not just a story about the four who become impowered, but all of those affected. Herman, his intelligence now increasing by the moment, takes himself and his best friend Aleksi legit, making money off of an alchemic converter he built last night when he couldn't sleep. his mind forms brilliant schemes and he begins to reach out to others like himself, especially when he creates "the Vibro-Boots" which allow him to fly and deliver seismic stomps.

Reed Richards, suddenly robbed of his intuition, ability to retain knowledge, and ability to make logical leaps, gathers together his friends and realizes he had been host to a power much greater than himself for more than a decade.

The Great Lakes Champions are not only dealing with Mr. Immortal's costume change, but also with the dissapearance of Doorman, who has vanished. they may be laughable, but they don't take the removal of a friend lightly. It doesn't help that Deathurge now appears to be a normal squirrel.

Parker, in learning to master his new powers (including all the previous posessors of the Uni-Force), makes friends with Cloak and Dagger who are trying to discover the reason for Cloak's sudden depowered state.

Of course, not all can go well. there is a dark scourge in the sky. The Dark Goblin is tearing across the sky and he is hungry for souls.

SHEILD is busy trying to figure out why the Shroud was depowered.

Not bad I think I read this before, time to ketchup!

 

[deemar325]

From the guy who brought you:

IBAE-Verse
Mutation-Verse
Marvel-Knock-Off-Verse

comes

Cursed-Verse

Hell has risen, making it's attacks on the world more prominent. God has sent blessings across the world.

Moses and the Plagues

Mark believe he is normal. he believes he has no special abilities, but when ten people show up on his door step saying God told them he was in charge, he has to question.

Dana is a 27 year old farmer from Ireland, but He finds he can transmute water into whatever liquid he wishes.

Kyle is a 16 year old athlete who can take on the characteristics of reptiles and amphibians, including monsterous strength

Fran and Jan, a pair of 32 year old twin nuns, both able to command insects

Mike and Michelle, a pair of 25 year old twins (respectively a banker and drug dealer). Mike could cast a lethal disease on animals, while Michelle could strike those around her with horrible boils.

Vera, a 64 year old nurse, was able to expell locust from her mouth to devour anything not animal.

James, a 29 year old USN sailor, was able to project fire and ice from his hands.

Naiomi, a 17 year old girl from South Africa, was able to deprive any area of light.

Johnny, an 8 year old boy from Australia, has the ability to kill men with his hands.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Devil Man

There once was a demon named Peril. His job was to kill those of valor and courage, those we call "heroes". He was very good at his job. So good in fact that he screwed up the balance. And so Peril was reassigned to work with "The Other Side", with the assurance of Satan that if and when Hell won, he would be welcomed back with open arms.

Nice! Plus for once we got a guy who wants to be in hell.

Now he is stripped of his powers and forced to live as a mortal, earning back his powers one by one through good deeds. God was kind enough to make sure he had a job set up (911 operator) however nothing he does for that job counts as a good deed. It's a story of living life and finding those little good deeds that we can all do. figuring out the real difference between good and evil, and choosing a side.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mortal Flesh

Rigel was an Angel of light. His greatest claim to fame was being the star of Bethlehem. lately his jobs were more routine; Guardian Angel. however, he made the wrong joke to the wrong being. He offended the Angel of Death, and displayed Pride unbecoming of an Angel. and thusly he was struck to earth. the only power stripped from him was his immortality. He was bound forever to the family he formerly served. However the people he was charged to protect are dead. Now he lives with their children. their 22 year old daughter who was in seminary to become a nun when her parents were killed. a crisis of faith caused her to give up the church, desperation made her take up stripping. Also, their son, a moody 16 year old... okay, so he's just a teenager.

Rigel is trying to change his ways and show that he deserves to be in heaven again, however his pride keeps making him screw up. He does manage to get a job in a fashion designer's office to help pay his part of the rent. He is still a guardian angel, with all the instincts that come with, however he is bound by his prison... his Mortal Flesh.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Paradox

The Devil believes he has the ability to goad God into doing things. Read the book of Job and you'll know what I mean. But what isn't mentioned is what happens at the end of the book Job. The Devil accuses God of cheating, as the Man was mortal and made by god and would have to prepare for the next world. So god gave him a comprimise. They would, together, make a being, and immortal being of great power. they would release it into the world and see what it became. and so the Paradox was created.

He walked the earth, though he was not man. He held powers of both angels and demons, yet he was neither. he lived, yet he did not die. Now, in this turbulent time, as the Devil sends his legions across the earth, the Paradox has settled down in chicago with a beautiful woman whom he has began to fall in love with. Who's call will he answer? Who will the Paradox side with?
Guest starring Jesus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Angels...

a group of teenagers died in Hell's first strike. becaue of this fact, God offers them a chance: return to earth as soldiers, or continue on to the great unknown. In fear they agree to be his soldiers.

Chorus: formerly a girl who prided herself on her voice is struck mute, and granted the ability to do the same to others. she can also understand any language spoke to her.

Vegan: he acted as a predator among his classmates, and so he is stripped of that ability; he can change into any Herbivore

My personal favorite so far.^

Trumpet: a gossip was was quite sadistic with her words, is stripped of the ability to lie, granted the ability to know the truth behind lies, and a voice that can be heard from a mile away.

Damn good idea.

Diamond: She was actually a good person with no outsanding sins (she was goth, but that doesn't preclude goodness), she was granted a healing ability both for herself and for those she could lay her hands upon.

Arch: He was too consumed with himself to care for others, so he is charged with caring for his team. he can hear their thoughts in his head constantly. he is also strong and fast and bears the Sword of St. Joan.

I like it overall.

 

[Zoken]

*Weeps while hugging Deemar* Dude! I missed you! *Has no pride*

 

[deemar325]

Yay me!!!

 

[Zoken]

Might I recomend my World Without Spider-Man stuff? It's been getting good reviews.