I liked the premise, Anubis, except for one thing. You first say it's a faction of the govt. that's sick of superheroes, so what do they do...make a superhero. I thought where you were going with it was that it would be a team of non-powered agents stepping in before the "heroes' would. OR, I was thinking that your main agent develops some sort of super power (I mean, who isn't these days) but hides it from her handlers. Not trying to get you to change it, but you would have to deal with that contradiction.
I liked the premise, Anubis, except for one thing. You first say it's a faction of the govt. that's sick of superheroes, so what do they do...make a superhero. I thought where you were going with it was that it would be a team of non-powered agents stepping in before the "heroes' would. OR, I was thinking that your main agent develops some sort of super power (I mean, who isn't these days) but hides it from her handlers. Not trying to get you to change it, but you would have to deal with that contradiction.
Just because she has enhanced abilities doesn't mean she's a super hero. She's just military hardware man. I thought he'd already pretty much established that to some degree.
People seemed to react well to my Thor relaunch as Journey into Mystery idea. And as I mentioned before, I've plotted a years worth of stories. So I've decided to write those stories out and post them here. One issue a month for the next twelve months(maybe quicker if I have time) with the first "issue" coming out next week. It'll be fun for me, hopefully fun for everyone else, and give me a little practice writing. I'll probably start a thread in the Fan-fic section for it.
So, here's the way it'll work. I'l script it out in comic form as if I was passing it on to an artist and post the script here. I'll include some links to pictures or sites that can help get across a point that needs a visual. And I'll black out some parts with spoilers because they give information that an artist would need but could ruin the story for the reader.
My next post will be the a preview of the first draft of the first 11 pages of issue #1.
People seemed to react well to my Thor relaunch as Journey into Mystery idea. And as I mentioned before, I've plotted a years worth of stories. So I've decided to write those stories out and post them here. One issue a month for the next twelve months(maybe quicker if I have time) with the first "issue" coming out next week. It'll be fun for me, hopefully fun for everyone else, and give me a little practice writing. I'll probably start a thread in the Fan-fic section for it.
So, here's the way it'll work. I'l script it out in comic form as if I was passing it on to an artist and post the script here. I'll include some links to pictures or sites that can help get across a point that needs a visual. And I'll black out some parts with spoilers because they give information that an artist would need but could ruin the story for the reader.
My next post will be the a preview of the first draft of the first 11 pages of issue #1.
Well mainly I want to get a reaction from some people who know about comics first. If after a few "issues" I feel I have a handle on it then I may submit it. But I honestly don't have the kind of time necessary to do this for real right now so posting it here holds me over.
I agree. As much as I'd want to read Thor written by you, I'd much rather see it in true form. If you post it here it'll be nothing more than a fanfic, a good fanfic, but still a fanfic
I agree. As much as I'd want to read Thor written by you, I'd much rather see it in true form. If you post it here it'll be nothing more than a fanfic, a good fanfic, but still a fanfic
Journey into Mystery Logo. Three massive man-like shapes stand, lit from the front so that no real features can be made out. They look a little furry
might be a good bit of deception since they will be wearing fur cloaks when actually seen
. Shadows cast behind them are distorted into monstrous shapes
made to look like Ice Giants
. They need seem menacing and mysterious. A winter background/snowstorm would be perfect, giving an eerie glow around their outlines as the light reflects off the snow.
CAPTION: Mystery and Monsters Part 1
PAGE ONE
Darkness. Two voices talk in the dark represented by two colored, lens flare-like lights. A red/orange light
is Thor awakening and
is the first voice. A blue-white light
represents the Odinforce and
is the second voice. Seven horizontal panels running the full width of the page. The panels growing in size as we go down the page with the last panel being the largest. VOICE 1 always appears on the left side of the page. VOICE 2 always appears on the right side of the page. They are thought boxes, not word balloons.
PANEL 1
Completely black. CAPTION in the top left corner of the panel.
CAPTION: Prologue: Nowhere. The Recent Past
PANEL 2
A faint bluish light appears in PANEL 2 on the far right side of the panel, coupled with a faint orange/red light on the far left side of the panel. Both lights are of equal size and fill up no more than 1/4 of the panel each at their widest point.
VOICE 1: I have awakened.
PANEL 3
Both lights become stronger filling up no more than 1/3 of the panel each at their widest point and are of equal size.
VOICE 2: Do you understand why?
PANEL 4
Both lights become stronger still. They are of equal size and completely fill the panel.
VOICE 1: Yes, you must leave me. And I shall cease to be.
PANEL 5
The blue/white light continuous to increase as the red/orange light decreases. The blue/white light takes up about 2/3 of the panel with the red/orange only taking up 1/3 now.
VOICE 1: Farewell.
PANEL 6
The blue/white light continues to increase as the red/orange light decreases. The blue/white light takes up about 3/4 of the panel with the red/orange back to the size it is in PANEL 2.
VOICE 2: Farewell.
PANEL 7
The blue/white light continues to increase, completely engulfing the red/orange light in this panel.
VOICE 2: For now PAGE TWO & THREE
Six equal sized panels across the tops of PAGE TWO and THREE. Channel changing, stopping on the News channel.
PANEL 1
Black and white static. A television being turned on. Tight shot of an old cabinet-style television set. Non-boxed CAPTION in the top left corner of the panel.
CAPTION: Somewhere. The Present
SOUND EFFECT (SFX): Click
PANEL 2
Another channel. ER type show. Surgery being performed
TV SOUND: with the winning touchdown. VIKINGS BEAT THE GIANTS!
SFX: Click
PANEL 5
Another channel. News Channel. MALE NEWSANCHOR and FEMALE NEWSANCHOR at a news desk.
FEMALE NEWSANCHOR: recaptured after the recent breakout from the Raft. Glad to hear hes behind bars again. Wouldnt you agree?
PANEL 6
MALE NEWSANCHOR and FEMALE NEWSANCHOR at a news desk.
MALE NEWSANCHOR: I sure would. In other news, research teams station near the South Pole reported some drastic weather changes in the areas theyre studying. Theyre expecting heavy storms and temperatures reaching new record breaking lows.
PANEL 7
Double page spread panel establishing the room the TV is in.
Three large men sit in a one room cabin watching the report. All we see is their backs and they are dimly lit from the television, casting them in a faint bluish glow. This glow is very similar to the glow
of the Odinforce
seen on page one
because these men constitute the Odinforce
. Even though we see little definition to them, we can tell they are all immense men because of their size in relation to the room and its contents. The room is sparsely decorated and appears to be a barren hunting cabin with some furs on a wall but no weapons evident. A window can be seen off to one side that shows a winterish outdoors.
The MAN ON LEFT is William (Vili), MAN ON RIGHT is Wey (Ve), MAN IN CENTER is EDMUND (Odin).
MAN ON LEFT: It has begun.
MAN ON RIGHT: We must leave immediately.
MAN IN CENTER: So be it.
Two panels, same size as the ones across the top in the bottom right corner of PAGE THREE.
PANEL 8
MALE NEWSANCHOR only at news desk. Picture over his left shoulder showing the Antarctic region he is speaking of. The picture comes from a video camera mounted on top of an antennae roughly 75 feet in the air. The Antarctic Base can be seen as a dark boxy mass.
MALE NEWSANCHOR: This satellite feed is the last video received in before all communications were lost with the base.
PANEL 9
Same as the picture over his shoulder in previous panel, but increased in size and detail to fill the panel. Can see the Antarctic Base better, though vaguely, in the picture. It is very stormy, wind blowing. Has a NEWS at 10 logo on it in one corner.
PAGE FOUR
PANEL 1
1/2 page panel. Establishing wide shot. Very similar to PANEL 9 on PAGE THREE. Much more detailed. With the Antarctic base larger and more clearly defined. Should be able to see a couple windows with lights on in an upper level, and a large garage bay door below and to one side of the windows. This panel shows the harshness of the environment.
PANEL 2
Closer to the base, we see a smaller area but in more detail.
PANEL 3.
Up close on the base, looking into a window. We can see several people in the room.
PAGE FIVE
PANEL 1
Dining room. Two small cafeteria type table with seating for four each are in the middle of the room. A galley style kitchen is against one wall. The room isnt very big. GERRY, MUNROE, HUGH, FRED and VAL are all in the room. MUNROE and GERRY are standing arguing with each other. VAL and HUGH are sitting at a table. FRED is leaning against a wall. Ceilings are low, as are doorframes. Almost a submarine-like feel to it.
GERRY: I am not letting you go out there. Weve never seen anything like this storm.
HUGH: Exactly! Thats what were here for, GERRY. Were supposed to be doing research and that is a unique phenomenon out there.
GERRY: Its too dangerous. Youve seen the wind speed reports and the temperatures still dropping. Were already starting to drop below the tolerances on our gear.
HUGH: Just barely below it so far. MUNROE, back me up on this.
PANEL 2
Focused on HUGH and VAL.
MUNROE: Ive got to agree with him, GERRY. Nothing like this has ever been recorded. We need to get data on it. Id be willing to go.
PANEL 3
Focus on HUGH. FRED in the background
HUGH: MUNROE and I will go out. Well just stay out a couple of hours to get data and come back. Hell, we wont even get out of the snowcat.
FRED: We could really use the data, GERRY. Who knows when an opportunity like this will present itself again.
PANEL 4
Shot of GERRY, head down, hand at forehead.
PANEL 5
Same as PANEL 4.
GERRY: OK. But only for a couple hours. Go get your gear ready.
PAGE SIX
PANEL 1
HUGH and MUNROE driving the snowcat across the ice fields. They are both bundled up in insulated suits with hoods up around their ears. Outside the snowcat cabin it is nearly completely white. The storm is raging around them. HUGH is driving. MUNROE is looking at a map and a GPS tracker map. Point of view (POV) is over their shoulders, looking out through the windshield.
CAPTION: Three hours later
MUNROE: HUGH, I cant figure out where were at.
HUGH: What do you mean? Just use the GPS. We know where we came from, just tell me which way to get back there.
PANEL 2
MUNROES POV, looking at HUGH. HUGH is squinting outside, trying to see if he can recognize anything in the raging storm.
MUNROE: I know how to work the equipment, HUGH, but the GPS system isnt working. The storm must be keeping the signal from reaching us.
HUGH: Then just use your compass, or use the stars, or make a guess, I dont care. We found our way out here, didnt we? You need to get us back.
MUNROE: Hey! It was your idea to come out and survey. I came along to help so dont blame this on me.
PANEL 3
Shot of both HUGH and MUNROE looking at each other.
HUGH: Im not trying to blame this on anyone. I just want to get back. Whyd you volunteer to come along anyway?
MUNROE: I dont know. Its just that weve never seen anything like this before. Weve been down here months and this is the most exciting thing thats happened. I wanted to be part of it. I wanted to make sure that I had a real memory of it. Something I experienced, not just heard about from someone else.
HUGH: Youve got the experience now. Now lets experience getting us home.
MUNROE: I wish I could but the compass isnt working either. Must be some kind of magnetic interference or something thats messing everything up.
PANEL 4
MUNROE picking up the CB-like radio mic from the dash of the snowcat.
MUNROE: Stop here. Ill try to reach base camp on the radio again. Maybe their equipment can find us and they can tell us which way to go.
HUGH: Fine. Hey, did you see something out there?
MUNROE: What the hell would be out there?
PANEL 5
MUNROE holding the mic up near her mouth and talking in it. HUGH staring out the windy snowstorm searching. A very faint shadowy, vaguely man-like form can be made out in the distance. It should be so faint that readers should question if its supposed to be there or not.
MUNROE: Echo Base can you read me? I repeat Echo Base can you read? This is MUNROE in snowcat one. We seem to be lost. I repeat. We cannot find out way back. Can you read?
VAL (through speaker): I hear you MUNROE. Though youre breaking in and out.
HUGH: I swear I can see something moving out there MUNROE.
PAGE SEVEN
PANEL 1
HUGH and MUNROE in the snowcat. We are looking in from the outside, fairly close to the windshield but not too close because we need room to move in closer during this sequence
(we are from the POV of the monster HUGH thought he saw)
. MUNROE is still on the radio. HUGH is leaning up, hands on windshield, looking out. He has a worried/confused look on his face.
MUNROE: VAL, glad to hear you. Some kind of interference is keeping our GPS and compass from working. Can you determine our bearings so we can get back?
PANEL 2
VAL sitting at a communications array in the lab (detailed description on page 8). Mic in hand. Shes listening to what MUNROE just said.
VAL: Please repeat that MUNROE. I couldnt understand. I repeat, I could not read. Im adjusting to hear you better.
PANEL 3
More or less same as PANEL 1 except the snowcat, HUGH and MUNROE are closer
as our POV monster gets closer
.
MUNROE: I said were lost, VAL. We cant figure out where we are. I know we went out at least thirty miles straight north out from the base but we cant see any landmarks in the storm and our equipment is useless. Hurry, visibility is dropping quick.
HUGH: MUNROE, I swear to God I see something moving out there.
PANEL 4
Same as PANEL 2
MUNROE (through speaker): thirty miles straight north out from the base but we cant see bzzzt in the storm and bzzzt useless. Hurry, visibility is dropping bzzt.
VAL: Ive almost got it adjusted so youre clear, MUNROE. Ill try and help anyway I can. Im going to adjust it a bit more to hear you clearly.
PANEL 5
Similar to PANEL 1 and PANEL 3 but closer still. Both MUNROE and HUGH are up near the windshield. Both look terrified.
HUGH (yelling): MUNROE! Look!
MUNROE (screaming): Oh, my god, what is that!! HUGH, what is it?
HUGH (screaming): I dont know! Its coming right at us!
MUNROE (screaming): GET OUT, HURRY, GET OUT!
PANEL 6
Same as PANEL 2 except VAL is no longer in the seat and the mic is hanging by its cord off the desk
MUNROE (trailing in over speaker): GET OUT!
PAGE EIGHT
PANEL 1
VAL bursting into the dining room. FRED and GERRY are sitting at the table, eating.
It would be best if they are eating large amounts of meat with their meals because it alludes to their eventual fate.
VAL: GERRY, FRED! Somethings gone wrong with MUNROE and HUGH.
PANEL 2
GERRY FRED and VAL rushing to the lab.
PANEL 3
GERRY, VAL, and FRED around the radio array. GERRY, seated, is holding the microphone and speaking into it. VAL and FRED stand behind him. We are looking over the comm to see all three of them. Room is decorated with charts, topographic and relative heat maps cover the walls, survey equipment and laser sights can be seen leaning in corners, etc.
GERRY: Come in research team one. I repeat come in research team one. Do you read? HUGH? MUNROE? Do you copy?
PANEL 5, 6 & 7
Small panels just to show passing of time. GERRY always at radio, VAL and FREDs positions move around the room a bit.
PANEL 7
VALs POV. GERRY still at radio. FRED off to one side. VAL looking directly at GERRY.
VAL: GERRY, give it up, theyre not going to answer.
FRED: VALs right. Youve been trying for twenty minutes. If they havent answered yet then theyre not going to answer.
PANEL 8
GERRY springing up and yelling at FRED now.
GERRY: What do you want me to do FRED? Give up on them? Leave them out there? We have to do something.
FRED: What are we going to do GERRY? Theyre not responding.
GERRY: We could go after them.
PAGE NINE
PANEL 1
All three are standing now. VAL is shouting at GERRY. POV is FREDs now.
VAL: What?! Have you looked at the reports. Hell, have you looked outside? The temps still dropping. Its 120 degrees below zero out there. -120 C°, GERRY. Thats the coldest recorded temperature ever. Ever, GERRY! Were barely keeping warm in here. We dont even know if our equipment can handle it and we have no idea what happened to them out there.
GERRY: Which is exactly why we have to get to them. If our equipment here at base camp cant handle the storm then a research team has no chance.
PANEL 2
POV is VALs..
FRED: Youre serious arent you.
GERRY: FRED, Im responsible for everyone down here. I cant just leave them out there. Especially since I let them go.
FRED: Ill go with you then.
GERRY: No. You and VAL will stay here. Ill go after the others. That way if I dont make it back, neither of you will be alone.
PANEL 3
Wide shot of whole room showing all three of them.
VAL: Theres nothing we can say to stop you?
GERRY: No.
FRED: Then lets get the snowcat ready.
PAGE TEN
We next see GERRY, FRED, and VAL in a large hanger/garage. There is one snowcat sitting in front of a large bay door. Space for a second snowcat, along with tracks from it heading outside, are beside the first one. Scientific research equipment useful in the Antarctic lines the walls of the bay. FRED is at the snowcat prepping it. The view is from about one story up from the catwalk that leads into the main hall. The hanger/garage is two stories tall and its floor is at ground level whereas the rest of the base is one floor up. Full page splash establishing the hanger/garage. We are looking down at an angle, with the rail and grate of the catwalk visible at the bottom of the page. The idea is that we are walking along the catwalk looking down at them. Remember, even though this is the largest space it still has a very confined feeling about it. No dialogue because the mood is somber.
PAGE ELEVEN
PANEL 1
VAL is helping GERRY into an insulated suit. They are standing in the space where the snowcat that is gone would be parked. We see FRED at the snowcat GERRY is getting ready to take. FRED is prepping it.
VAL: Are you sure theres no way to talk you out of this?
GERRY: No. Ive got to. Im the one that sent them out to gather data on the storms. I have to go get them. So unless a miracle happens and they show back up here, then Im going.
FRED (overlapping GERRY talking): Everythings loaded. Youre ready to go.
GERRY: Thanks. Here I go.
PANEL 2
GERRY climbing up onto the snowcat. FRED giving him a hand. VAL watching. Three loud pounds hit the bay door.
SFX: POUND, POUND, POUND
PANEL 3
GERRY, standing on the tread, FRED and VAL all look to the doors, mouths agape.
FRED: What the hell was that?
VAL: The wind?
GERRY: The wind doesnt hit the door like tha (cut off)
SFX: POUND, POUND, POUND
VAL: Oh my god, someones knocking.
PANEL 4
GERRY jumping down off snowcat to run to the door.
And before anyone says anything about this, remember this is the first draft of the first half of one issue. I know it doesnt feel very Thor-y or Journey into Mystery-y yet but its basically on the first 1/6 of the story .
If you read the spoilers you will get a better feel for where its going maybe. And if you know a lot about Norse Mythology you might actually pick up some hidden clues into why these characters are being used.
Im going to do a final draft over the weekend and maybe post the whole issue next week.
What? The old one from WWII? I guess that could work too. But I thought that one from the Invaders just looked cool. Plus it's a deadly weapon in and of its self.
That's kind of what I was going for. Using the pacing and structure to build suspense. To harken back to the original JiM and it's build up and often twist ending.
I want the first arc to feel fairly "small." Almost claustrophobic in nature. Small cast, small spaces, small mystery set within a much larger overall story. In my head I see the art as almost a "documentary" style. You're right in with the characters almost experiencing it as they are through mostly POV shots.
There's a need to ease into the Asgardian aspects because they are on such a grand scale often that to jump straight into might seem jarring. The first three issues would have a gradually expansion of their scope until we reach the necessary level.
There is a flavor to it that is reminiscent of 50's & 60's sci-fi/horror.
The only thing I would worry about in it is where you reach that point where you actually do introduce Thor and the gods of Asgard, the casual reader who has no knowledge of Thor or Asgardian legend reads it and goes "WHAT??? All this build-up for some big norwegian guy with a hammer??? I was expecting an alien monster or something!"
There is a flavor to it that is reminiscent of 50's & 60's sci-fi/horror.
The only thing I would worry about in it is where you reach that point where you actually do introduce Thor and the gods of Asgard, the casual reader who has no knowledge of Thor or Asgardian legend reads it and goes "WHAT??? All this build-up for some big norwegian guy with a hammer??? I was expecting an alien monster or something!"
Feel free to criticize. As long as it's constructive I welcome it.
People expecting an alien monster wouldn't be to far off. The payoff in the first arc does include some big ass monsters. But they're not aliens. They're Frost Giants.
And throughout the first arc, I would work in the Asgardian stuff. In fact the majority of the first arc mirrors the Norse Creation myth so the Asgardians will play a major role. If you read the spoilers I put in, you'll see the begining of this.
Anyone looking for Thor in the first arc will be disappointed. Considering it's the Creation Myth, it focuses on Odin more. The second arc will start in on the Thor-centric things. This is because it fits my idea best and in truth it's playing to the current "Marvel style" of stretching out an origin a bit and not showing the main character immediately.
And I think you're right, Kubert would be good.
Has anyone caught the (somewhat) hidden significance of the Antarctic characters' names? There's not much to go on yet, but if you are astute, and know Norse Myth, you'll get it.
Feel free to criticize. As long as it's constructive I welcome it.
People expecting an alien monster wouldn't be to far off. The payoff in the first arc does include some big ass monsters. But they're not aliens. They're Frost Giants.
And throughout the first arc, I would work in the Asgardian stuff. In fact the majority of the first arc mirrors the Norse Creation myth so the Asgardians will play a major role. If you read the spoilers I put in, you'll see the begining of this.
Anyone looking for Thor in the first arc will be disappointed. Considering it's the Creation Myth, it focuses on Odin more. The second arc will start in on the Thor-centric things. This is because it fits my idea best and in truth it's playing to the current "Marvel style" of stretching out an origin a bit and not showing the main character immediately.
And I think you're right, Kubert would be good.
Has anyone caught the (somewhat) hidden significance of the Antarctic characters' names? There's not much to go on yet, but if you are astute, and know Norse Myth, you'll get it.
Awww man, I was waiting for the surprise too. Anyway......I loved everything that I've read of yours on Thor so far. I hope you get this off the ground soon so I'll have a hard copy of your Journey into Mystery title in my hands shortly.
Some people saw Kubert, while I saw Cassadey (sp?) the artist on AXM.
While I like Cassaday's art, he tends to be a little too photorealistic for my tastes. His work often seems static. I've been thinking maybe Epting based on his work on Captain America but I'm not sure he could handle the fantasy elements of Asgard once we got away from Earth.
I'm thinking about drafting an inquiry letter to Marvel when I get home tonight. Maybe I'll send something off to them after all.
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