i'm 42 years old. i've been reading comics for 37 years, and i have been devoted to spider-man since before i can remember. an element of that is definitely spider-based: i LOVE spiders. they're my favorite animals. i have a 26 year-old tarantula, and i'm always looking for them. they're just beautiful, fascinating creatures. but a lot of my love of spider-man is based on peter parker. i love peter's science aspirations. i can empathize with peter's constant guilt, and desire to do the right thing, but always feel like he's messing up and letting down the people he loves the most. i love the fact that he perseveres through everything he faces and that he never gives up. i love that he loves his old aunt and that he never loses touch with the loves of his life, and is generally able to morph from a romantic relationship to a platonic one. it's a beautiful thing. now, i'm not afraid of change. when the clone stuff was happening, i was on the edge of my seat and happy to be along for the ride. when ben reilly was revealed to be (momentarily) the "true" peter parker, it was hard, but at least peter and mj were in portland. i knew we'd never lose touch with them. so when peter died in ultimate, i was okay with it. it wasn't canon (to me), and it only added to his legend. the issue was beautifully done. and i knew i could return to amazing. but then otto switched bodies with peter, and we only had a couple of issues of peter in otto's decrepit body. and then at least he was buried somewhere in otto/peter's brain. but in a moment that is up there with peter making a deal with mephisto as two decisions where i just don't believe peter acted true to himself, peter was defeated in otto's mind and cast away. so now there is no peter parker anywhere, and i miss him. honestly, it has taken some of the zest out of my entire comic collecting life. sure, i enjoy the walking dead, and daredevil and i love the wake and dig swamp thing and absolutely drool over rachel rising. but i loved seeing what peter was up to every month. and now i can't and it's bumming me out. i have no doubt that peter will return in the pages of amazing, especially by the time spider-man 2 comes out, and i don't mind marvel experimenting radically with spider-man. but it doesn't change the fact that dammit, i miss peter parker. come back soon, pete.