Best/Favorite Dialogue from the 'Batman' films

[BlueLightning]

Most of my favorite dialogue is here, so it would be redundant if I post it again. I watched Batman ´66 yesterday and I foud this:

[Batman, Robin, Commissioner Gordon, and Chief O'Hara consider which supercriminal might have been behind the fake yacht and exploding shark attack.]
Gordon: Could be any one of them, but which one? W— which ones?
O'Hara: [gasps]
Batman: Pretty fishy what happened to me on that ladder.
Gordon: You mean, where there's a fish, there could be a Penguin.
Robin: But wait! It happened at sea! See? "C" for Catwoman!
Batman: Yet... an exploding shark was pulling my leg!
Gordon: The Joker!
O'Hara: [It] all adds up to a sinister riddle. Riddle-er. Riddler?
Gordon: Oh! A thought strikes me! So dreadful I scarcely dare give it utterance.
Batman: The four of them. Their forces combined...
Robin: Holy nightmare!

Commissioner Gordon: Penguin, Joker, Riddler... and Catwoman, too! The sum of the angles of that rectangle is too monstrous to contemplate!
Batman: We've been given the plainest warning. They're working together to take over...
Chief O'Hara: Take over what, Batman? Gotham City?
Batman: Any two of them would try that!
Commissioner Gordon: The whole country?
Batman: If it were three of them, I would say yes, but four? Their minimum objective must be... the entire world.

Hilarious

 

[SheldonLevene]

This might be in here already, but I'm not looking through here.

Ducard: Your parents death was not your fault.
Ducard: It was your father's.
Ducard: Anger does not change the fact that your father failed to act.
Bruce Wayne: The man had a gun!
Ducard: Would that stop you?
Bruce Wayne: I've had training!
Ducard: The training is nothing! The will is everything!
Ducard: The will to act.

This line gives me chills.

 

[The Navigator]

Most of my favorite dialogue is here, so it would be redundant if I post it again. I watched Batman ´66 yesterday and I foud this:

[Batman, Robin, Commissioner Gordon, and Chief O'Hara consider which supercriminal might have been behind the fake yacht and exploding shark attack.]
Gordon: Could be any one of them, but which one? W— which ones?
O'Hara: [gasps]
Batman: Pretty fishy what happened to me on that ladder.
Gordon: You mean, where there's a fish, there could be a Penguin.
Robin: But wait! It happened at sea! See? "C" for Catwoman!
Batman: Yet... an exploding shark was pulling my leg!
Gordon: The Joker!
O'Hara: [It] all adds up to a sinister riddle. Riddle-er. Riddler?
Gordon: Oh! A thought strikes me! So dreadful I scarcely dare give it utterance.
Batman: The four of them. Their forces combined...
Robin: Holy nightmare!

Commissioner Gordon: Penguin, Joker, Riddler... and Catwoman, too! The sum of the angles of that rectangle is too monstrous to contemplate!
Batman: We've been given the plainest warning. They're working together to take over...
Chief O'Hara: Take over what, Batman? Gotham City?
Batman: Any two of them would try that!
Commissioner Gordon: The whole country?
Batman: If it were three of them, I would say yes, but four? Their minimum objective must be... the entire world.

Hilarious

Ah, good times.

 

[The Joker]

Selina Kyle: "It's the so called normal guys who always let you down. Sickos never scare me. At least they're committed"

I do love Selina's unique view on relationships

 

[-Arya-]

Gordon: They'll hunt you.

Batman: You'll hunt me. You'll condemn me. Set the dogs on me. Because thats what needs to happen. Because sometimes the truth isnt good enough. Sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded.

 

[Darkness Falls]

this has to be the best

Commissioner Gordon: A fine job, Batman. You allayed their fears magnificently.
Batman: What else could I have done, commissioner? If I told the truth, panic will grip the city.
Chief O'Hara: The truth. Sure, and what is the truth?
Batman: A decoy. A strange anonymous warning that Commodore Schmidlapp is in danger, to lure me into a trap.
Commissioner Gordon: A fiendish attempt on Batman's life.
Chief O'Hara: You mean, when they were luring you to a watery grave, the commodore's yacht has been hijacked in some places?
Batman: Precisely.
Commissioner Gordon: And who behind it? Not a clue.
Batman: Tell me, commissioner: What known supercriminals are at large just now?
Commissioner Gordon: I'll check at once, Batman. Bonnie, let's have the latest status report on super criminals still at large.
Bonnie: Yes, commissioner.
Commissioner Gordon: Thank you, Bonnie. Coming up, Batman, on the closed-circuit TV screen. Come over here.
[the quartet move to the closed-circuit TV screen on the wall]
Closed Circuit TV Screen: Status report. Known supercriminals not currently imprisoned.
Batman: The Penguin.
Commissioner Gordon: That pompous, waddling master of foul play, maestro of the criminal uprunners.
Robin: The Joker.
Chief O'Hara: Devilishly clown prince of crime! If I only had a nickle for every time he's baffled us!
Commissioner Gordon: What, the Riddler loose too?
Batman: So it seems. Loose to plague us with his criminal conundrums.
Robin: Gosh! And the Catwoman!
Closed Circuit TV Screen: End of status report.

 

[The Joker]

this has to be the best

Commissioner Gordon: A fine job, Batman. You allayed their fears magnificently.
Batman: What else could I have done, commissioner? If I told the truth, panic will grip the city.
Chief O'Hara: The truth. Sure, and what is the truth?
Batman: A decoy. A strange anonymous warning that Commodore Schmidlapp is in danger, to lure me into a trap.
Commissioner Gordon: A fiendish attempt on Batman's life.
Chief O'Hara: You mean, when they were luring you to a watery grave, the commodore's yacht has been hijacked in some places?
Batman: Precisely.
Commissioner Gordon: And who behind it? Not a clue.
Batman: Tell me, commissioner: What known supercriminals are at large just now?
Commissioner Gordon: I'll check at once, Batman. Bonnie, let's have the latest status report on super criminals still at large.
Bonnie: Yes, commissioner.
Commissioner Gordon: Thank you, Bonnie. Coming up, Batman, on the closed-circuit TV screen. Come over here.
[the quartet move to the closed-circuit TV screen on the wall]
Closed Circuit TV Screen: Status report. Known supercriminals not currently imprisoned.
Batman: The Penguin.
Commissioner Gordon: That pompous, waddling master of foul play, maestro of the criminal uprunners.
Robin: The Joker.
Chief O'Hara: Devilishly clown prince of crime! If I only had a nickle for every time he's baffled us!
Commissioner Gordon: What, the Riddler loose too?
Batman: So it seems. Loose to plague us with his criminal conundrums.
Robin: Gosh! And the Catwoman!
Closed Circuit TV Screen: End of status report.

LOL! Classic. Vintage 60's Batman.

 

[I Am The Knight]

"I fell. I fell forever. I was scared at first, but only at first. The figure in the dark represented my destiny...It would change my life forever. I would use it's image to strike terror into the hearts of those who did evil. I would ensure that what happened to me would never happen to anyone else again...I would have my revenge."

 

[Two-Face]

I like that quote from Batman Forever, one of my favourite.

 

[TLH]

Gordon: They'll hunt you.

Batman: You'll hunt me. You'll condemn me. Set the dogs on me. Because thats what needs to happen. Because sometimes the truth isnt good enough. Sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded.

Winner.

 

[TLH]

Here's a rare gem from Batman Forever:

Bruce Wayne: So, you're willing to take a life.
Dick Grayson: Long as it's Two-Face.
Bruce Wayne: Then it will happen this way: You make the kill, but your pain doesn't die with Harvey, it grows. So you run out into the night to find another face, and another, and another, until one terrible morning you wake up and realize that revenge has become your whole life. And you won't know why.
Dick Grayson: You can't understand. Your family wasn't killed by a maniac.
Bruce Wayne: Yes, they were. We're the same.

 

[The Joker]

Penguin: "Just the ***** I've been looking for"

Penguin: "Ooooh, outstanding. You're beauty and the beast in one luscious christmas gift pack"
Catwoman: "You said you were going to scare the Ice Princess"
Penguin: "She looked pretty scared to me. Hahahahaha. Touch of the bubbly? So, lets consumate our fiendish union"
Catwoman: "What are you talking about?"
Penguin: " Oh come on, can't you picture? It's dark in the mayor's mansion. I'm bushed. So here you come into the bedroom, twitching your little tail. My slippers in one hand, a dry martini in the other"
Catwoman: "Oh please. I wouldn't touch you to scratch you"
Penguin: "You lousy minx. I ought to have you spayed. You sent out all the signals. And I don't think I like you anymore"

 

[CFE]

this has to be the best

Commissioner Gordon: A fine job, Batman. You allayed their fears magnificently.
Batman: What else could I have done, commissioner? If I told the truth, panic will grip the city.
Chief O'Hara: The truth. Sure, and what is the truth?
Batman: A decoy. A strange anonymous warning that Commodore Schmidlapp is in danger, to lure me into a trap.
Commissioner Gordon: A fiendish attempt on Batman's life.
Chief O'Hara: You mean, when they were luring you to a watery grave, the commodore's yacht has been hijacked in some places?
Batman: Precisely.
Commissioner Gordon: And who behind it? Not a clue.
Batman: Tell me, commissioner: What known supercriminals are at large just now?
Commissioner Gordon: I'll check at once, Batman. Bonnie, let's have the latest status report on super criminals still at large.
Bonnie: Yes, commissioner.
Commissioner Gordon: Thank you, Bonnie. Coming up, Batman, on the closed-circuit TV screen. Come over here.
[the quartet move to the closed-circuit TV screen on the wall]
Closed Circuit TV Screen: Status report. Known supercriminals not currently imprisoned.
Batman: The Penguin.
Commissioner Gordon: That pompous, waddling master of foul play, maestro of the criminal uprunners.
Robin: The Joker.
Chief O'Hara: Devilishly clown prince of crime! If I only had a nickle for every time he's baffled us!
Commissioner Gordon: What, the Riddler loose too?
Batman: So it seems. Loose to plague us with his criminal conundrums.
Robin: Gosh! And the Catwoman!
Closed Circuit TV Screen: End of status report.

WHOA, whoa...how could you possibly leave out the incredible ending of that scene? Observe:

Commissioner Gordon: Could be any one of them, but which one? Whi...Which ONES?
Chief O'Hara: *GASP*
Batman: Pretty...Fishy what happened to me on that ladder...
Commissioner Gordon: You mean where there's a fish there could be a Penguin...
Robin: But wait, it happened at sea...see? 'C' for Catwoman!
Batman: And...that exploding shark...WAS Pulling my leg!
Commissioner Gordon: The Joker!
Chief O'Hara: It all adds up to a sinister riddle...Riddle-r...Riddler?
Commissioner Gordon: The thought strikes me...so dreadful, I scarcily dare give it utterance.
Batman: The four of them...their forces combined...
Robin: Holy Nightmare!
Commissioner: Batman, could it be?
Batman: I don't know...but I think I know where to find a clue...Come on, Robin, to the Batcave. We haven't one moment to LOSE!

But nothing in that film tops Gordon's greatest quote, thanks to Neil's delivery:

Commissioner Gordon: Penguin, Joker, Riddler...and Catwoman to...The sum of the angles of that rectangle are too monstrous to contemplate!

t:

CFE

 

[StylishHokie21]

Batman: "Admiring your handiwork?"
Penguin: "Touring the riot scene. Gravely assessing the devastation. Upstanding mayor stuff!"
Batman: "You're not the mayor."
Penguin: "Things change."
Batman: "What do you want?"
Penguin: "Aaah...the direct approach! I admire that in a man with a mask. You don't really think you'll win do you?"
Batman: "Things change."

Batman: "Where is Dent?"
The Joker: "You have all these rules and you think they'll save you."
Lt. James Gordon: [Batman slams the Joker against a wall] "He's in control."
Batman: "I have one rule."
The Joker: "Then that's the rule you'll have to break to know the truth."
Batman: "Which is?"
The Joker: "The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules. And tonight you're gonna break your one rule."
Batman: "I'm considering it."
The Joker: "No, there's only minutes left, so you're gonna have to play my little game if you want to save one of them."

 

[I Am The Knight]

Two Face: "LET'S START THIS PARTY WITHA BANG!!!"



Henri Ducard: Are you so desperate to fight criminals that you lock yourself in to take them on one at a time?
Bruce Wayne: Actually, there were uh, seven of them.
Henri Ducard: I counted six, Mr. Wayne.
Bruce Wayne: How do you know my name?
Henri Ducard: The world is too small for someone like Bruce Wayne to disappear, no matter how deep he chooses to sink.
Bruce Wayne: Who are you?
Henri Ducard: My name is merely Ducard, but I speak for Ra's al Ghul, a man greatly feared by the criminal underworld. A man who could offer you a path.
Bruce Wayne: What makes you think I need a path?
Henri Ducard: Someone like you is only here by choice. You have been exploring the criminal fraternity, but...Whatever your intentions, you have become truly lost.
Bruce Wayne: And what path can Ra's Al Ghul offer?
Henri Ducard: The path of one who shares your hatred of evil...The path of The League of Shadows.
Bruce Wayne: You're vigilantes.
Henri Ducard: No, no, no. A vigilante is just a man lost in the scramble for his own gratification. He can be destroyed, or locked up. But, if you make yourself more than just a man...If you devote yourself to an ideal, and if they can't stop you...Then you become something else entirely.
Bruce Wayne: Which is?
Henri Ducard: A legend, Mr. Wayne.

 

[Darkness Falls]

clooney batman punches thug through wooden circle
batman: goodnight


riddler: your entrance was good, his was better, the difference SHOWMANSHIP
riddler: tell the fat lady shes on in five

 

[Bat Attack]

The entire museum scene with Vicki and the Joker is my favorite diolouge from any of the batflick.

 

[Greg]

Selina Kyle: "It's the so called normal guys who always let you down. Sickos never scare me. At least they're committed"

I do love Selina's unique view on relationships

Aww dammit! I was gonna type this one! t:t:

No matter how many times I've seen this movie, that line ALWAYS gets me. t:

 

[Greg]

Dr. Chase Meridian: Oh, we could give it a try. I'll bring the wine, you bring your scarred psyche.

Heh, just love the way Kidman delivers that line while she's taking off her jacket. t:

Two-Face: Tell your son it's going to be okay, Gordon. Lie, like I lied.

That Two-Face scene is freakin' scary! Shivers, man.

 

[I Am The Knight]

clooney batman punches thug through wooden circle
batman: goodnight

UGHHHHH

 

[Ace of Knaves]

BATMAN RETURNS
Penguin: "Ohhh 5hit, I picked up a cute one"

 

[Two-Face]

BATMAN (1989)

Dist. Atty. Harvey Dent: "We've received a letter from Batman this morning. 'Please inform the citizens of Gotham that Gotham City has earned a rest from crime. But if the forces of evil should rise again, to cast a shadow on the heart of the city, call me."
Alexander Knox: Question. "How do we call him?"
Commissioner Jim Gordon: "He gave us a signal."

RETURNS:
Max: "Bruce Wayne? Why you dressed up as Batman?"
Selina: Because he is Batman, you moron."


FOREVER:
Two-Face: "One man is born a hero, his brother a coward. Babies starve, politicians grow fat. Holy men are martyred, and junkies grow legion. Why? Why, why, why, why, why? Luck! Blind, stupid, simple, doo-dah, clueless luck!"

BATMAN & ROBIN:
Bruce Wayne: "Well, he's over-eager. He's impulsive. I can't trust him not to get hurt."
Alfred: Perhaps "the truth is you really don't trust anyone."
Bruce Wayne: "Oh, don't tell me you're on his side, again."
Alfred: "Despite all your talents, you are still a novice in the ways of family. Master Dick follows the same star as you but gets there by his own course. You must learn to trust him, for that is the nature of family."
Bruce Wayne: "I trust *you*, Alfred."
Alfred: "But I shan't be here forever."

BEGINS:
Alfred Pennyworth: "Why bats, Master Wayne?"
Bruce Wayne: "Bats frighten me. It's time my enemies shared my dread."

Bruce Wayne: "People need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy and I can't do that as Bruce Wayne, as a man I'm flesh and blood I can be ignored I can be destroyed but as a symbol, as a symbol I can be incorruptible, I can be everlasting."
Alfred Pennyworth: "What symbol?"
Bruce Wayne: "Something elemental, something terrifying."

THE DARK KNIGHT:
Salvatore Maroni: "Look, if I tell you, will you let me go?"
Two-Face: "Can't hurt your chances."
Salvatore Maroni: "It was Ramirez."
Salvatore Maroni: [panicking] "But you said..."
Two-Face: "I said it couldn't hurt your chances."
[flips coin; good side]
Two-Face: "You're a lucky man."
[flips again; bad side]
Two-Face: "He's not."
Salvatore Maroni: "Who?"
Two-Face: "Your driver."

 

[Greg]

(After having gassed Batman with fear toxin) "Ah, having trouble? Take a seat. Have a drink. (splashes gasoline on Batman) You look like a man who takes himself too seriously. You want my opinion? You need to lighten up." (lights Batman on fire)

Total bad-assery! t:

 

[Greg]

[Two-Face has kidnapped Gordon's family, and Gordon has followed them to the place where Rachel died]
Gordon: [as he walks into the building] Dent!
Two-Face: [after knocking Gordon to the ground from behind] This is where they brought her, Gordon…after your men handed her over. This is where she died.
Gordon: I know. I was here, trying to save her.
Two-Face: But you didn't!
Gordon: I couldn't!
Two-Face: Yes, you could have. If you had listened to me…if you stood up against corruption…instead of doing your deal with the devil!
Gordon: I was trying to fight the mob!
Two-Face: You wouldn't dare try to justify yourself if you knew what I lost. Have you ever had to talk to the person you love most? To tell them it's going to be all right, when you know that it's not? Well, you're about to know what it feels like, Gordon. Then you can look me in the eye and tell me you're sorry.
Gordon: [scared] You're not going to hurt my family.
Two-Face: [moving over to Gordon's wife and children with his gun out] No, just the person you love most. [points the gun at his Gordon's wife] Is it your wife?
Gordon: Put the gun down Dent! [whispers] please.
[Two-Face moves the gun to his daughter]
Gordon: [reaches towards them] Please.
[Two-Face puts the gun to Gordon's son]
Gordon: Goddamn it, will you stop pointing the gun at my family?!
Two-Face: We have a winner.
Barbara: [as Harvey grabs their son] No, Jim, stop him!
Gordon: Harvey? Harvey! [desperate] I'm sorry! For everything! Please, don't hurt my son.
Two-Face: [seems to consider it but grows angry when he hears police sirens] You brought your cops?!
Gordon: All they know is this is a situation. They don't know who or what, they're just creating a perimeter.
Two-Face: You think I want to escape from this?! There is no escape from this!
Batman: [appearing from the shadows] You don't want to hurt the boy, Harvey.
Two-Face: It's not about what I want! It's about what's fair! You thought we could be decent men in an indecent time! But you were wrong. The world is cruel. And the only morality in a cruel world…[pulls out his coin]…is chance. Unbiased, unprejudiced, fair. His son's got the same chance she had: 50/50.
Batman: What happened to Rachel wasn't chance. We decided to act. We three.
Two-Face: Then why was it me who was the only one who lost everything?!
Batman: [pause] It wasn't.
Two-Face: [still holding a gun to Gordon's son's head] The Joker chose me!
Batman: Because you were the best of us. He wanted to prove that even someone as good as you could fall.
Two-Face: And he was right.
Batman: You're the one pointing the gun, Harvey. So point it at the people responsible.
Two-Face: Fair enough. You first. [flips his coin, it lands "tails," he shoots Batman in the stomach as Gordon's family screams] My turn [puts the gun to his own head, flips the coin and it lands "heads" up so he points the gun at Gordon's son's head]
Gordon: Harvey, you're right. Rachel's death was my fault. Pl-Please, don't punish the boy. Please punish me.
Two-Face: [still holding the gun to the boy's head] I'm about to. Tell your boy it's going to be all right. Lie…like I lied.
Gordon: [trying to calm his son] It's going to be all right, son.

Man, just shivers going down reading that!

 

[Matt.S99]

Catwoman: Ugh, I wouldnt touch you to scratch you.

Gotta go, girl talk.

Meow

I am Catwoman, hear me roar.

4, 5, Still Alive! 6,7 all good girls go to heaven. Thats...two lives left, i think i'll save one for next christmas. How bout a kiss, anti-claus.