Bought/Thought 05/12/07

[PhotoJones]

Two young girls bred to destroy working each other over.

Okay bud, that's more then a little disturbing, especially coming from a grown man.

 

[GNR]

A shame that Meltzer isn't writing JLA anymore.

This book has become a joke,it's JLU lite.

 

[PhotoJones]

I hated Meltzer's JLA. Decompression is a style of writing that just should not be used in mainstream superhero books like JLA.

 

[GNR]

I loved it.Great sense of history,emphasized the importance of the League and how it's bigger than any of them combined,and didn't go the typical route of fighting aliens or the LOD.

 

[PhotoJones]

Yeah, it did all that, but it drug it out waaaay too long.

 

[Anubis]

I've been rereading my Morrison/Waid JLA books for the last few days and man, the JLA just ain't as awesome as it used to be. I mean come on, Luthor and a buncha villains? pftt, wheres the huge, "Oh my freaking God we're all gonna die!!" threats? Where's Meggedon? Where's insane 5th Dimensional Godlings? Wheres the abstract concepts like Truth and Luck rebelling against the cosmos? This is....well....kinda lame.

 

[PhotoJones]

The Morrison/Waid era was the best the JLA has ever been.

 

[Anubis]

It really was.

 

[PhotoJones]

Who else besides Porter did the art back then?

 

[Anubis]

I don't know.

 

[PhotoJones]

You're useless to me.

 

[Dread]

Is it just me, or is Dread taking a few liberties on what he reviews?

Hate to see how Cupid and the Easter Bunny are going to fare in 2008. ( I hear Marvel wants Bendis to up their profile.)

What kind of liberties do you mean?

Most of this week is positive, actually. I have to complain about SOMETHING to feel whole.

I don't care for Valentine's Day or Easter, either. The only holidays I seem to like are Thanksgiving and Halloween, although I usually don't do much on Halloween because once you get into high school & beyond, you really can't do anything unless you're invited to a party, and I don't know anyone who does Halloween parties. Or would invite me to one.

Valentine's Day is greeting card companies' reminder to everyone who is single that they suck and should kill themselves, so I dislike it.

Christmas, well, you just can't be a good grouch and enjoy Christmas. Mostly it is for all the false good cheer and Yuletide morality that no one, anywhere, actually practices for even one day, much less the rest of the year, and has become a celebration of economic greed. As for New Years, it just allows me to cringe from one year, and brace for a worse one.

More reviews forthcoming.

 

[iloveclones]

Dread just made me want to kill myself.

 

[iloveclones]

I usually don't do much on Halloween because once you get into high school & beyond, you really can't do anything unless you're invited to a party

The least you could do is go out and torture some little kids. That's always fun.

 

[LouFerignoDemon]

Dread just made me want to kill myself.

Funny, my eldest sister said the same thing about me once, or twenty five times.

 

[PhotoJones]

Wow, that's really something to brag about.

 

[GNR]

anybody collect the essentials here?

I just won a bid on eBay for the FF essentials Vol.1 to 3,which is the first 60 some odd issues I think.

I've always wanted to check out this classic run,but never wanted to shell out the cash for the Omnibus.

 

[Dread]

Dread just made me want to kill myself.

I'm definitely not the guy you want if you need a picker-upper. If it makes us even, the optimism you usually seem to display in posts usually baffles me, as any optimism would.

The least you could do is go out and torture some little kids. That's always fun.

Eh, I'm too introverted to go out and torture others. Least these days. Back when I was in high school I used to freak them out where ever there were bumper cars by laughing like a mad-man as I hit the pedal. Those were the days.

 

[Dread]

Damn, I hadn't expected this page to reach #4 before I finished my reviews. My thoughts on DYNAMO 5 #9, INVINCIBLE #47, ANNIHILATION: CONQUEST #2 are here:
http://forums.superherohype.com/showpost.php?p=13439548&postcount=19

Anyway, here is part II of my reviews. Spoilers, still.

AVENGERS: THE INITIATIVE ANNUAL #1: Chock full of origins for past and current characters of the twisted superhuman soap opera that is A:TI, it also manages to find a way to be of current importance via a connection to Bendis' EXCUSE TO RETCON AND RUIN CHARACTERS BECAUSE I HAVE THE ENTIRE MARVEL UNIVERSE AT MY TESTICLES AND IT JUST ISN'T ENOUGH, also known as SECRET INVASION. Yeah, I know I am setting myself up for an embarassing fall if Bendis' event in 2008 actually happens to buck his trend and be good, but after his 0-2 record on events and maybe 3-27 record on team superhero stories, I'm entitled to be cynical about it. But this is about the A:TI annual and it is pretty good, offering origins for Armory, Gauntlet, Hardball, and even some HUGE secrets about current A:TI storylines. The biggest of which is that Sen. Woodman, who hired the Vulturians in issue #7 and who blackmailed Hardball to steal that SPIN-Tech Dart from Iron Man's Hulkbuster armor just proir to WWH is actually a HYDRA sleeper agent, which explains a helluva lot. Naturally, both Gauntlet & Armory are empowered by the same alien tech that fell to earth a while ago, which bonds with whoever is the first to "merge" with it to the point that no one else can use it, as Gyrich discovered after booting Armory from the team. Armory herself is attending therapy and I actually felt very sorry for her, especially as one could argue her failure at the Initiative wasn't her fault; it was Gauntlet's exercise and he seemed to have zero precautions or care about it (who WOULDN'T freak out upon seeing someone turn into a 20' version of their worst fear? So far only the Hulk, because he's fearless). It turns out that even her shrink is working with Gyrich, able to tell him that Armory can keep a secret, perhaps signalling that she may be due for a return on his "Shadow Initiative". The origin of MVP is given as the reason why Justice & Cloud-9 saw "a MVP" living at the house after his death, and while I didn't care for the art in that story, the rest was good. The last story is about the Liberteens, the 50 State Initiative's Philideliphia squad, inspired by the Liberators of WWII fame, who take out Flag-Smasher II. This is the reveal of the issue, that the Skrulls have exploited the Initiative to place "a Skrull in every state", so they basically can undermine the heroes from within and have a standing army ready. On the positive side, this at least suggests that the Skrull sleepers may have only started coming in after or during CW, which gives a better time-table on things. The biggest fear is that Bendis will use SI to retcon entire character histories since the 70's-80's, like from Black Bolt or Elektra or who knows who else. The fact that Joe Q is literally trucking out Mephisto to end the Parker Marriage suggests that he will resort to no end of sloppy means to do whatever "character fixes" he wants. I mean, Joe Q has felt Dr. Strange has been "overpowered"; what better way to "fix" that than to have Bendis make Strange a Skrull since the 70's? Yeah, THAT is some real fear for this storyline. It may end up being CLONE SAGA for the entire MU is everyone isn't careful. Still, though, this annual was about it's own universe and characters, and for that it does well. There was only one quibble; Gyrich expresses concern to Woodman about cutting off Gauntlet's limb to remove his gauntlet, yet that looks like it happened after he was laid up in the hospital in issue #6. Unless the gauntlet, uh, shrunk. Hardball's origin with the Power Broker was some classic Slott black humor, as the guy accidentally saved a girl trying to knock over a bank truck, and pretty much went with the "hero" flow that everyone, even Wonder Man, gave him. And I did like the new Power Broker's design, even if it reminds me of anime. The issue did a good job on getting me to actually like Armory and wait for her return in the parent title. The Liberteens were actually kind of fun, and so was Baron Von Blitzshlag in "Born to Serve" (where it was shown that Taskmaster is what allows the MVP clones to learn the fighting styles of both MVP and Spider-Man, although Taskmaster technically can't mimic superhuman powers so his ability to mimic Spidey should be limited to what is only possible via peak human strength & agility). I still am astonished at a government agency that would employ such a blatent Nazi character as Blitzshlag; that's one of those things that, no matter how much you may hate Bush, would NEVER happen in real life. Hell, nowadays, just leaking that one of your great grandparents was a Nazi can DESTROY your life. The "secret" to MVP was also cute, and the Patrick Family could make millions selling it on infomercials. I do wonder how many people got the "Boys from Brazil" joke? For those who didn't, it was a book/movie in which people basically tried to clone Hitler, but realized that the only way to re-create Hitler was to re-create his life in these boys, such as making sure all their adoptive fathers died, and so on. Of course, in the MU, Hitler actually DID survive in endless Hate-Monger clones, I think the last was called Nazi-X or something. To wrap it up, this was one of those rare annuals, along with the IMMORTAL IRON FIST ANNUAL (because one can never praise IF enough) that not only has some good standalone stories, but also manages to find brilliant ways to connect them to CURRENT stories to make the annual relavant, worthwhile, and vital reading (and not just filler, as too many annuals became). The fact that Gage is now a co-writer on A:TI is also terrific news; I have pined for a while for Gage to get an important gig at Marvel before DC throws him an exclusive bone, and as this is Marvel's key Initiative book, this counts as vital. He is a solid writer who really knows his history and can make the best of any editorial mandated storyline he is given, so he should be a great fit with Slott, and so far they're off to a good start. If Bendis ever leaves MIGHTY AVENGERS, one or both of them should snatch it.

THE ORDER #5: If I wanted to be lazy, I would just quote PhotoJones review of it and be on my way. This IS one of Marvel's best team books right now, some would argue THE best (especially if you only count ongoing titles). It is made even better that these are BRAND NEW characters being inserted into the MU and blending in quite well. Naturally, the title runs with the idea that LA is a bit of a planet unto itself, which worked out well for X-STATIX, only this title isn't as polarizingly bizarre as X-STATIX was (people either loved it, or shook their heads and shuddered). This issue actually doesn't start off with the narration of one of the Order's heroes, as I expected, but in their key PR agent, Kate Kildare. Frankly I was looking forward to Supernaut, Heavy, or Muholland, but Kildare's introduction and story fit into the weaving storyline of the issue. As with most of the issues so far, it tosses aside the "6 chapter or bust" TPB format for the format of having short stories with interconnected subplots, which has become a lost art to anyone who isn't Peter David these days. It also introduces not only a cool Gamera-like monster in a giant turtle, but a team of nasty femme fatales in the Black Dahlias, apparently a band of metahuman woman who are out to avenge infamous murders of women in LA, such as the former Order member Avona. Kitson gets help from Evans on pencils and the coloring is different, but the art meshes well with the prior 4 issues, and if this is what a fill-in looks like for THE ORDER, then it still looks amazing. Also coming to a head is Aralune's "sex tape" (which is where Kildare comes in), finding The Order a new HQ, and even Calamity tracking down his former "nemesis" last issue. Despite being new characters, after only 5 issues, Fraction has presented them very well and has seemless interaction between them that can vary from real, sentimental, to downright funny (Veda's summary of the Black Dahlias to Supernaut literally had me chuckling out loud on the bus). This is truly a Marvel team book that has it all; great characters, a great mix of powers, great art, good writing, and they're mostly new to Marvel as original creations; hands down, this is Fraction & Kitson's RUNAWAYS. The only thing it lacks is sales; after a solid debut for issue #1 among the Top 40, every issue has hit a skid and if it doesn't become stable it will fall out of the Top 100 by issue #12, which will spell it's demise. I really, really, REALLY do not want that to happen. The Black Dahlias are up to return in about another 2 issues, and issue #7 will likely be the Muholland issue since she was one of 'em. There's truly nothing like this book coming out at Marvel these days. Joe Q deserves a tip of the hat for this (since we spit on him for his blunders, let's praise his successes). Now if only the sales can stay steady and this book can cling on, much like RUNAWAYS did (and IMMORTAL IRON FIST is right now). For the record, issue #1 debuted at 57k, which is great for a new franchise, but issue #3 had fallen to 33k in Sept. before missing October. All ongoings seem to be entitled to 12 issues these days, but if they can't seem to maintain a steady audience within the Top 100, which means steady sales of 26-28k without any more major drops from issue to issue, they get axed. Usually if the sales story doesn't look peachy by the 9th issue, cuts are announced (or done in a subtle manner of no longer solicting it past a certain date). I want to seem more of this than 12 issues, man, real bad. But in the meantime, I'll continue to enjoy every issue I get.

THE TWELVE #0: This isn't really an issue of anything, it is more like a preview. It reprints some Golden Age stories with the three characters shown, Rockman, Laughing Mask and Phantom Reporter, as well as shows all the Weston art for the 12 that Newsarama showed over the course of a few months, as well as a 2 page preview of THE TWELVE #1 and some other art. It is good to see Marvel wanting to do something with their Silver Age characters, perhaps to try to counter DC's JSA, which is one of their best sellers. These characters naturally will take a lot of work and some redesigns, but so far things are looking positive. It WILL be a tough sell, even with JMS's namepower. JMS can sell blockbusters when he is on ASM, FF, and THOR, but these guys? Maybe a #0 is a good way to test the waters for the debut issue next month. The Golden Age stories are what they are; simple, cheesy, and somewhat crudely drawn, but they were just fine for their time, and to judge them beyond that would be unfair. I do see promise in this launch, if the harsh direct market doesn't chew it up.

ULTIMATE X-MEN #88: I have been saying for a while now that the end of this arc, "Sentinal", from Kirkman, should be my "stop and consider" issue. Kirkman has now officially been on this book longer than Brian K. Vaughan, the prior writer, was, and the book is honestly almost 100% worse. It is everything that many of us fled the X-books for being. The irony, however, is that even despite that, it isn't THAT bad. It hasn't reached the point of sheer loathing, hatred, and contempt that I felt towards USM (and that I do for NEW AVENGERS). But this has become something like apathy, and I realized after the recent MOON KNIGHT #13 that apathy is almost a worse reaction to a comic. Even sheer hatred is an emotional response. Apathy is the lack of one, the buying of a comic, reading it with glassy eyes, and forgetting it 30 seconds after closing the cover. That to me is beginning to become more of a waste. In these 88 issues I have seen Millar launch an exciting but bleak revision of the X-Men franchise (which Bendis maintained for his 12 issues, albeit with the first arc being some sort of unfinished U-MTU story), and Vaughan spent 19 issues trying to soak out some of the bleakness so the characters could actually have fun besides being cynical and sarcastic, and it worked well. Now, Kirkman, the second writer in 4 years who Marvel originally intended to just "fill time until Singer came aboard", has pretty much decided to mindlessly imitate 616 without as much of the flair, twists, or charm as Bendis or Vaughan showed. This issue was more of an epilogue and a build-up for the next arc than a final chapter of this one, as the Sentinals, and Fenris (their builders) have been defeated last issue. But look at what Kirkman's run has brought. Ultimate X-Men used to be a title that relived the X-Men's youth, where a small and maintainable cast of characters were on one team trying to defend a world that hated and feared them. Then Kirkman came along, added a buttload of second stringers and split the cast, leaving half the characters doing nothing upstate, and the rest reliving the Aussie days, barely a blip in X-Lore these days. Other writers like Millar, Bendis, and Vaughan HINTED at repeating 616, only kept things vague enough that you could make your own conclusion. Is Marvel Girl really posessed by an alien Pheonix, or is she just crazy? Well, Kirkman is slowly deciding to unleash the alien posessor. Is Mr. Sinister really working for an omnipotent gasbag named Apocalypse, or is he just crazy? Well, turns out Apocalypse was real. The Ultimate universe was grounded in the real world of the here-and-now, without mindless diversions like time travel and alternate reality versions of characters. We also have Cable boiling down to "Future Wolverine", and neither Cable or Bishop being any less annoying as they were in 616, proving to be distractions at best. Oh, and OF COURSE Emma Frost has to be a member of the Hellfire Club now. See what I mean!? The other major problem is Kirkman, after wasting about 9 issues on his useless Magician character, is trying to shove all these characters into a storyline that really isn't about them, but about the ride they are on, if that makes sense. Ultimate X-Men was the place to do all the real world bigotry stories that the 616 universe can't do. It was the place to truly embrace the themes and the recognizable characters rather than to prattle off on diversions like aliens, alternate dimensions and time travellers. Leave that **** to the Fantastic Four. I don't hate this book, but I really don't enjoy it, and I don't enjoy the direction. And I really resent the fact that, likely thanks to people like me, this is Kirkman's best selling book, AND IT IS HIS WORST. I mean, this week both this and INVINCIBLE came out, and it is like comparing fruit to bile. Well, maybe not that extreme, but close. Salvador Larroca helps Paquette trim a few pages this issue with the future scenes (where Xavier, alive and well, is being kept), and I really have to wonder if Larroca is tired of drawing the X-Men yet. Recall, it was Ultimate X-Men that pretty much caused the Kuberts to get tired of the X-Universe and fly off to DC. And I didn't even get into Kirkman bringing up the "Xavier has a pedo crush on Marvel Girl" bit that was so useless when brought up, in one line, in the 60's that no one dared to touch it for at least 30 years. And then Kirkman HIMSELF did zero with it. So why bother? Working on Ultimate titles can be like quicksand; if you have clear ideas and angles, and want to explore a franchise without being limited by 40+ years of continuity (Ultimate has about 1/7th that continuity), you're golden. But Kirkman likes 616 so much that he just is mindlessly replicating it, warts and all, and that doesn't work. I really, really should part ways with this book here. After 2 months I likely won't miss it.

I still am enjoying and getting Ultimate Fantastic Four, because I actually like Carey's direction and stories on it. It may end up being my last Ultimate book, least in terms of ongoings.

At this point, it is worth mentioning my thoughts on Ultimates 3 #1, from Loeb and Joe Mad, which I flipped through and scimmed in the shop. My first impression was that it was a mess. The Millar/Hitch run was plagued by a sluggish release schedule and decompression. Well, Loeb is the total opposite; **** flies at you so fast you have no clue how it got there or why, like driving at 100 MPH behind an open circus trailer. Why the **** is Black Panther there? I don't recall him in the Ultimate U. before, and I read every book for years. Why is Venom suddenly back and randomly attacking them, either looking for Wasp or Black Widow (who has been revealed as alive again, for no ****ing reason other than Joe Mad doesn't have enough breasts to draw, I guess)? Why is Thor's hammer suddenly looking like it does in 616, and now the cool techy-glyph thingie he had before? Why the **** does Hawkeye look like Arsenal and Solid Snake merged via the Siege Perilous? Why the **** should I care that some random broad named Valkyre loves Thor, when she has no connection to the one who was on the Defenders? Oh, and Loeb was kind enough to make the Maximoff's twins' incest outright BLATENT and STATE IT for those of us too STUPID to have caught on by now. When MARK MILLAR is more subtle about a subplot, you really need to re-evaulate stuff. This issue just seemed like Loeb watched TEEN TITANS for 48 hours straight, tabbed some acid, and went to work. "People love random stuff! People love as much flesh on camera with zero buildup as possible! Go Me! I'm exclusive, they can't fire me no matter how ****y I am now!" And the sad, sad, SAD thing is that I can see this **** selling for like 90k copies or more while THE ORDER can barely stay above 30k. Oh, and to prove that Bendis isn't the only writer who randomly kills someone to get the show off the road, Scarlet Witch is killed off by a sniper. Yeah, I ruined the cliffhanger for you. Poor Wanda has no luck ANYWHERE these days. Joe Mad's art is what it is, but it doesn't gell well with ULTIMATES. And I got that ULTIMATE MARVEL preview in my bag for some reason, and anyone who claims that Ultimate Human is about more than printing something, anything, with Iron Man & Hulk in it as they both have movies coming in 2008-2009, is probably full of bull feces.

 

[iloveclones]

I'm definitely not the guy you want if you need a picker-upper. If it makes us even, the optimism you usually seem to display in posts usually baffles me, as any optimism would.



Eh, I'm too introverted to go out and torture others. Least these days. Back when I was in high school I used to freak them out where ever there were bumper cars by laughing like a mad-man as I hit the pedal. Those were the days.

Finally, I've met my evil twin. Now if I can just devise a scheme to take advantage of it....

 

[Xofenroht]

So...was WWH just late for my shop? Or did people just not read it? Because it came out Wednesday.

 

[Dread]

So...was WWH just late for my shop? Or did people just not read it? Because it came out Wednesday.

The last title of the mini shipped a week or two ago in November. Maybe your shop was late.

They had a WWH AFTERSMASH one-shot this week, which I didn't bother with.

 

[Xofenroht]

Man...my shop sucks sometimes.

 

[GNR]

The last title of the mini shipped a week or two ago in November. Maybe your shop was late.

They had a WWH AFTERSMASH one-shot this week, which I didn't bother with.

Just apply that way of thinking with your hated titles and you'll be in the clear.

 

[Dread]

Finally, I've met my evil twin. Now if I can just devise a scheme to take advantage of it....

Good luck.

Just apply that way of thinking with your hated titles and you'll be in the clear.

I've quietly conceded I'm likely aboard NA and SECRET INVASION, but I am re-evaluating other titles. If GHOST RIDER and MOON KNIGHT weren't about to have new creative teams come on, I'd likely have dropped both by now. But I am whittlin' them down, slowly.

I'm glad for dodging Ultimates 3 #1. Just flipping through it made me feel dirty.