It looks like September will be a better month for the Marvel ad department than August sure was, where I counted maybe only two ads for anything that wasn't a Marvel House Ad for comics, or Marvel licensed products. Now we have a Mazda car ad (used to have Honda Civic ads), as well as ads for UFC & TNA Wrestling toys, and ads for some TV shows from ABC (Disney) and Dexter on SHOWTIME. And that's atop of ads from government funded stuff like GOT MILK and ABOVE THE INFLUENCE, and that CITY OF HEROES game patch ad. The utter drought of ad revenue is a legitimate reason for why so many books from Marvel are $3.99, to make up the dollars lost from the loss of ad money. Now that it seems that having Disney at their back is getting some extra ad bucks again, any chance for Marvel to cut fans a break and tuck comics to some horrendously cheap price like, say, $3.75? My instincts say no - once greed becomes commonplace rather than prudent, it remains, until things tank so badly that sales are cut out of sheer desperation, or people get fired/promoted up top.
Part II: The Avengers Hate Children, But Gorillas Are OK
AVENGERS: THE CHILDREN'S CRUSADE #2: Has it been two months already? I love that cover, in which every character is facing or reacting to the right, yet Wolverine has decided to leap off and try to stab something to the left. He just has to feel special, doesn't he? And perhaps that matches how he is depicted in this Heinberg & Cheung reunion series, as I've probably not seen Wolverine written as this much of a jerk in years. In my defense, I haven't read a lot of his comics lately.
Magneto has arrived to basically abduct Billy and Tommy, and use them to help them find Wanda. He is convinced that they're his spiritual grandsons and seems to accept them as such (or at least is exploiting that to win their trust). While Tommy is eager to work with the former villain, and Billy starts to turn around, the rest of the Young Avengers are undecided. Fortunately for them, the New Avengers show up and make it an easy choice by blasting away - a fact even Magneto complements. Wolverine is the most aggressive of the bunch, outright trying to tackle Wiccan out of the air and being the most passionate supporter for gutting Wanda AND any of her so-called children with the slightest justification. While Iron Man wastes no time blasting at Magneto (feeling he is kidnapping children), Wolverine's utter disdain for Wanda was actually a bit surprising for me, even for him. But perhaps that is part of the long term problem that arose from DISASSEMBLED and HOUSE OF M - it cast a cloud over Scarlet Witch's entire long term career as a heroine, which far outnumbered her time with the Brotherhood or prior bouts of insanity. Now it seems all of her previous feats and actions as a loyal Avenger mean nothing, because she went mad this one time. Admittedly, killing three Avengers and warping the reality of an entire globe are a bit serious, but there seems to be little consideration for her tenure as an Avenger or any sympathy for her situation, or even as a living creature. There's NO option to handling Wanda besides killing her? These are the same Avengers who let Kang live for years after he BLEW UP ALL OF WASHINGTON D.C. for heaven's sake! The same Iron Man who, during CIVIL WAR, justified the SHRA by claiming the only thing that kept him from killing people while he was drunk inside his armor was luck and a few inches (and, by the way, the same Iron Man who opened a Pandora's Box of technology that has funded or inspired no end of dangerous super villains, including personal adversaries who blow up batches of innocent people just to tick Stark off). The only one who seems to care is Luke Cage, which is in character as he's been dealt no end of bad breaks (imprisoned for a crime he didn't commit, once falsely accused of Iron Fist's murder, etc.) and had to rise above them. The Avengers seem to want to kill Wanda more so than any other super villain they have ever faced, and to me that seems batty. You would think Wolverine would complain the least, as Wanda's meddling allowed him to finally remember his past (a quest in which he has literally killed people to get to in prior stories) - now instead he seems to be the most aggravated because he learned it's all ugly, he was never a nice guy before Weapon X, and he was saddled with a lame son in Daken and a lamer arch nemesis in Romulus. Ignorance was better? This is the guy who Cyclops lets mentor children and lead them into hit squads? Given how Wolverine himself is perhaps the biggest example of the argument of zero tolerance for anyone dangerous, given how often he's brainwashed into a killing machine and how many people he's slaughtered over the years (or gotten killed), you would think he'd have an ounce's understanding for at least a few others - he sure seemed to think Charlie, the professional Commie assassin, was dealt a bad hand in SPIDER-MAN VS. WOLVERINE in the 80's. Instead he has the least. You'd think even Steve Rogers, who whitewashed Bucky's entire history as a Commie hit man and domestic terrorist, would have at least more of a sense of mercy. Goes to show you the sins that many heroes will ignore when it suits them.
On the other hand, it could be argued that making the Avengers and Wolverine come off as hypocritical, merciless jackasses is an easy way to make Magneto come off as sympathetic and encourage the kids to want to accompany him. If so, that's quite lazy writing for a writer who was supposed to be so immaculate that this entire franchise had to grind to a halt for half a decade for him to gift Marvel with his presence again, as soon as "GRAY'S ANATOMY" ended.
Fortunately, after that, the issue improves significantly. Once in Transia, the story has time for a sense of humor with Wiccan's "SOUND OF MUSIC" disguises (which suit Vision Jr. poorly). Jonas and Cassie have a good moment together, and things actually get more fun when Quicksilver shows up. He seems to actually want to kill Magneto, and it does seem funny that if he's so adamant about it, why he hasn't attacked Magnus on Utopia already. In fairness, Quicksilver perhaps has the most reason to want to kill Magneto, as M-Day was unleashed specifically because Wanda was appalled that Magneto was about to murder Pietro. This, however, allows Quicksilver and Speed to interact for the first time, and it's actually quite fun. Speed is eager to race his "uncle" and respects his cred as a former villain. Even after Magneto is clearly effecting the ground under Pietro, Speed is eager to claim he's faster. Pietro's MIGHTY AVENGERS costume actually allows him to be color coordinated with Speed, and there's an intentional use of the word, "flash" when Pietro arrives. Along with the Cassie/Jonas moment, it's likely the highlight of the script before the cliffhanger. Eli and Kate have an argument, as Eli's the only one who is adamantly against working with Magneto, and Kate highlights just how badly the Avengers have screwed up in dealing with the youngsters, and seem to make no attempt to rectify it. And they wonder why the kids never get along with them, or go evil. The only one who even begins to try to bridge the gap with them is Spider-Man, and guess what? The rest of the Avengers treat him like the team joke, too, just because he's under thirty.
The big reveal is that the "Wanda" who has occasionally popped up in Transia is a robot, created by Dr. Doom. It's unknown how long that this has been, so it calls into question whether the "Wanda" that Clint Barton and Beast were able to find was also a robot. It certainly wouldn't be beyond the capabilities of Dr. Doom to fool Beast or especially Hawkeye, given that even a trickster god like Loki often treats Doom as a peer. I mean, Beast's a scientist, but Barton's just a carnie with an awesome arrow set - you could fool him with slight of hand. At least it would give Barton and Hank Pym something to discuss at the next "ROBOTS AND THE MEN WHO LOVE THEM" social mixer. The major question is, what has Doom done with her and why has he done nothing useful with her since obtaining her in 2005?
Quicksilver's "throw wooden planks into a crowd of people to kill Magneto" ploy was about as reckless and ruthless as about anything Wolverine did, but I'll let it slide because it exposed the Doombot connection. A "happy accident" as the JOY OF PAINTING guy used to say. Remember, kids; it's okay to endanger innocent civilians if it exposes another villain's scene by pure luck. I can imagine an amusing one page WHAT IF story if in another universe, that was really Wanda and everyone glares at Pietro, going, "Way to go hero," and so on.
The artwork is quite good, good enough that I can forget the whole costume issue, as the Avengers sit out half the book. The color and ink work really pop and it's a very pretty book to read. Heinberg's writing, though, isn't winning me over entirely. He has a lot of characters act in extreme ways just to further the plot along, and while that may suffice for a weekly TV soap opera, that doesn't fly so easy in comics. I could imagine any other writer who has worked on YA material such as Zeb Wells, Paul Cornell, or Chris Yost coming up with a similar story and at least doing it no worse, so it doesn't justify Marvel's endless patience. Marvel waited 5 whole years and is releasing this overdue project over 18 months to cater to Heinberg, and for all that beyond some moments of brilliance, is so far producing something that plenty of other more reliable writers could have done three years ago, and I'd dare say could have done better. Perhaps the Cheung artwork on a 9 issue run was worth some wait, but so far, Heinberg's story isn't. It's hardly bad, and Heinberg naturally has a handle on the Young Avengers characters he created. I am still genuinely interested in where this goes, and it was long overdue that Pietro & Speed met. Still, when an entire franchise waits half a decade for a writer, said writer really has to provide more than "pretty good, but". He has to hit a ****ing grand slam. So far, Heinberg's gotten on base due to a defensive error, and while that's good for the hitting team, that's not good enough for me to completely praise it. It sold quite well in July, so at least in the short term, Marvel won't learn anything about integrity or professionalism. I want to really enjoy this series, but Heinberg's hiccups in the script phase keep raising demerits so that it moves into the column of "above average, with a few great moments" rather than all around greatness, at least to me.
GORILLA-MAN #3: The finale of this spin-off mini from AGENTS OF ATLAS/ATLAS by Jeff Parker, and it easily was the most successful. I was amazed that THE URANIAN got 3 issues, and NAMORA's one shot was alright. This series was a lot better, based mostly on the fact that Ken Hale is a more entertaining character alone than the others. Caracuzzo and Charalampidis team up to handle the artwork, and it serves the story quite well. Parker finishes up his dusting off of Hale's 1950's origin, adding his own elements to fill in the gaps from that Golden Age story (while keeping it in), and it all works out very well. And that's no easy feat when someone's origin ends with, "and was turned into an immortal talking gorilla". I think what makes Hale work is how well rounded he is; he often has the best lines and a sense of humor, but he isn't a comedy character like a lot of talking apes in comics. If you need a serious or tragic beat to him, Parker can provide that. But if you just want a laugh or an off the walls adventure, Parker can have Hale do that too. Given how many characters in comics drip with angst for the slightest reason, Hale ends the series by cementing how entirely angst-free he is about his situation. He seems to be taking his fate in more of a stride than Ben Grimm has, even (and Ben at least has had a few girlfriends in that form - blind or not, you have to be up for porking a walking granite man).
Hale and his ally Banda manage to make it past a tribe of gorillas to track down his old enemy Bastoc, who has combined a magical staff with another artifact to be able to possess the minds of men. Fortunately, it proves to be ineffective against the Gorilla-Man, and the old threat is finally dealt with, and that chapter of Hale's life can end. The art's good, fits the story very well. The mini series expands on Hale's story and gives it a bit of closure, with a lot of chills, spills, and laughs along the way. There's also another mock TWITTER feed of Hale answering questions from Atlas recruits, that's probably more entertaining than some comics out there. There's another TALES TO ASTONISH reprint about another Gorilla Man to fill out the pages, which is a logical gimmick even if still a gimmick. I completely enjoyed this series, and it will be a shame when ATLAS is gone. Marvel envisions Hale as the break-out star of ATLAS, as he's set to be in DEADPOOL TEAM-UP, and he probably is. I haven't seen anyone else write him, though, and Jeff Parker does so masterfully.
I AM AN AVENGER #1: This may as well be AGE OF HEROES #5, as it continues the format. It's a series of one shot stories in an anthology format, only this time Marvel imagines that it'll sell better with the word AVENGER in it. To be fair, AGE OF HEROES actually sold quite well for that sort of thing, especially since by nature half of it's existence is to promote other comics that Marvel has. This is working out better than the last stab of ASTONISHING TALES sure did. 8-10 pages of a multi-part story every month is too slow, but for quick one shot tales, it's fine.
The main story is an 11 page Young Avengers story by Jim "HAWKEYE & MOCKINGBIRD IS SO GETTING CANCELED" McCan and art by Chris Samnee. It takes place after SIEGE: YOUNG AVENGERS #1, but before AVENGERS: THE CHILDREN'S CRUSADE #1, and during that gap of time, Eli and Kate apparently had a break. It seems a bit odd that between this and CHILDREN'S CRUSADE, Eli's position in the team has really shrunk. Now it seems Wiccan and Kate are the main characters whenever the team is together (with Stature & Vision Jr. having been MIGHTY AVENGERS for a while). With focus now coming for Speed and Wiccan over in the main series, Eli has fallen through the cracks a bit. The kids were invited to the new rebuilt Avengers Mansion, but instead are attacked by it's security system and things get screwy until Wiccan knocks on the door, ending the program. All a part of Hawkeye's attempts to "test" the kids, first by seeing if Kate would steal her bow back from him after he beats her in a fair archery contest (which she does), and now seeing if the kids survive crossing the front lawn. Ah, that zany Hawkeye! I'm surprised any kid wants anything to do with the Avengers, given how jerky they are to any kid hero. Even Spider-Man faced that - the first time he tried to join, they literally said, "Only if you can capture the Hulk". And he actually did, but let him go. That's like if I wanted to join a martial arts school and they would only accept me after I beat Jet Li. If I can do that, what the hell do I need YOU GUYS for? I mean, maybe the best way to make sure young superhumans don't get killed or don't turn evil is just to support them, not make then run endless dangerous tests or fulfill endless moral hurdles that no adult Avenger besides Steve Rogers would have passed during THEIR rookie years. They're such hypocrites. Hawkeye used to give Rogers such a hard time back during the Kooky Quartet years. But instead of learning from their own upbringings, the Avengers just want to make sure the new kids go through the same hardships, just as why kids in school are made to read the same boring books no one wants to read. "I had to suffer through MOBY DICK, so you have to suffer through MOBY DICK." Mentoring by generational revenge is usually not the best way to do it. It's pleasant and quick enough, I just thought it was a little needless and especially after CHILDREN'S CRUSADE, I'm amazed any of the kids like the Avengers at all. Batman treats Robin better - ANY of them.
Better is the 8 page Iron Fist & Misty Knight story by Duane Swierczynski and Jason Latour. It ties up the one loose end that went unaddressed from IMMORTAL IRON FIST #27, the final issue of that series - Misty seemingly being pregnant with Danny's child. Turns out that his chi powers just caused a "false positive" result after they'd gotten down a few times. The couple have been off and on for about 30 years, and this time had been settling down together mostly for the kid they were about to raise, not because they'd actually wanted to make it legal. After all, a kid was why Cage got hitched, and a lack of one was why MJ sold her marriage to the devil. The two decide to cease cohabitation for a while, but exchange treasured books with each other to symbolize that their time together isn't over. It's a quiet emotional piece and is quite effective. It bookends the IMMORTAL IRON FIST series pretty well. Part of me does wonder if this was a story Swierczynski had always planned, or he was obeying something from editorial. I mean, if Bendis wanted Danny to have a kid and so on in NEW AVENGERS, then by golly, that is precisely what would have happened. The Cage family are literally the safest family in Marvel; no hero's wife or child are safer from being murdered by any villains for cheap shock value than the family of their top writer's favorite hero, and that's so bloody shallow I want to scream. Still, solid work. Great little interpersonal piece between the characters, using the subject of books.
There's a two page Squirrel Girl story by Alex Zalben & Tom Fowler, and it's just her going about the task of going from Wynoming to New York. It's cute, but a bit empty. The last page, because apparently Dan Slott has no time for one page "jams" now that he's the top ASM guy, is by Chris Eliopoulos is cute for a one page gag. Wolverine is rejected from the Pet Avengers because he has no tail. The irony is if Marvel genuinely believed putting Wolverine in the title would make it sell better, he'd be in like Flynn. I mean, they literally put him on ANITA BLAKE variant covers and had to have a disclaimer that read, "WOLVERINE DOES NOT APPEAR IN THIS ISSUE". Still, cute. So, in a 22 page anthology for $4, we have one 11 page lead story that is alright, one 8 page one that is very good, one 2 pager that is hum-drum, and another that is cute. Success?
An essential issue for IMMORTAL IRON FIST fans who don't feel like illegally downloading the pages. For anyone else, I'd have to say no. I've seen better AGE OF HEROES issues. Hopefully the next of this replacement is stronger overall.
).
t:
