CAP Alert

So i guess superman got his powers from the devil as well, so the devil wants to help people now?

the devils sad and wants to save people, so he gives a man super abilitys..
 
Please.Everyone knows that Superman is evil Jew propaganda.:rolleyes:
 
I think Colbert's spoof of that (reaction to She's the man) is hilarious.

Roughly:

"I was fully ready to support Amanda Bynes's next family movie. It covers the story of a girl dressing up as a boy so she can play soccor and seduce a boy she is in love with. Sounds perfectly acceptable to me. But then I noticed something....

In the credits it said "Based on William Shakespere's 12th Night." No way, America. That man who has produced such stories that support teen sex (Romeo & Juliet), depression and sucidal thoughts (Hamlet) and interracial....coupling (Othello). YOu've been warned liberal slanted, gay-agenda Hollywood. Quit trying to pollute our childrens' minds."

As that is isimilar to what CAP Alert says about....every movie, really.
 
I believe Colbert used the term "homicidal jungle fever" to describe Othello.

"So unless you want your children to put on donkey heads and have sex with fairies,don't take them to She's The Man"

Either the Daily Show or the Colbert Report needs to have this guy on.
 
Ah, I forgot that and noticed he hit Othello and that is the first thing that came to mind as a conservative knee-jerk dumb reaction. Sorry to conservatives though.
 
The CAPtain reviews such disparate titles as Trainspotting,which he calls a "teen flick"(!),and Bring It On,which he calls "a journey into moral depravity and empty-headed sexual theft of childhood from children".

Am I the only one who thinks that this guy would accuse Requiem For A Dream of promoting drug use?
 
If it's there, it must be promoting it, context be damned

:rolleyes:
 
Hey,it says on his reviews page:they don't misread the message,they ignore it.

Which is funny,considering that he's always *****ing about a film's alleged message.So essentially,he ignores the message unless he feels the need to make one up.

I mean,the guy thought Napoleon Dynamite was about embracing nihilism.
 
I can't wait to see what his review of Silent Hill will be like. That ought to be good.
 
huskerwebhead said:
I can't wait to see what his review of Silent Hill will be like. That ought to be good.


You wont unless youre willing to fork over $300+
 
What film would you most like to see the CAP guy get tortured by by having to review? Me, I say The Aristocrats
 
I dont know what would torture him the most but id love to see him review End of Days with Arnold.
 
Elijya said:
What film would you most like to see the CAP guy get tortured by by having to review? Me, I say The Aristocrats
I would love to see him review A Dirty Shame,Requiem For A Dream,or Jesus is Magic.

The Notorious Bettie Page R. Awaiting a sponsor.

Must...resist...urge...to...sponsor...
 
The thing that shocked me the most was thier two cents on Forrest Gump:

Forrest Gump was a prime example of attemps of Hollywood to lower the threshold of acceptance of immoral and vulgar material. Under the humorous and warm front was graphic violence, very foul language, sexual material, some use of drugs and alcohol, and a suicide attempt. Worst of all was the 56 examples of Offense to God (the use of God's name, direct and euphemistically), with and without the three-four letter word vocabulary Although CAP Investigation Standards do not include acts of actual war as examples of unacceptable material, the Vietnam war in the movie was not an actual accounting of the war nor actual file footage -- it was Hollywood fanfare of gore and violence. Two sodliers were incinerated to the bone with bomb fire. Another was tossed by bomb blast.These things happened in the Vietnam war, but the "soldiers" in Forrest Gump were not soldiers nor were they in Vietnam. Of other noteworthiness was nudity, physical abuse of a woman, child gang brutality against a disadvantaged child, and a child sneaking out of her house in the middle of the night to get into bed with Gump as a child.

I believe this is the MOST eloquent example of their sheer stupidity.:up:
 
So real violence is less offensive than fake violence?This guy is insane.

On a related note,I was very disappointed to not find a review of Boys Don't Cry.That movie would have sent him into a conniption fit.

edit: On second thought,he probably would have just walked out after the first few scenes,feeling that he had enough material to warn parents about it's vile homosexing.
 
My vengeance said:
The thing that shocked me the most was thier two cents on Forrest Gump:

Forrest Gump was a prime example of attemps of Hollywood to lower the threshold of acceptance of immoral and vulgar material. Under the humorous and warm front was graphic violence, very foul language, sexual material, some use of drugs and alcohol, and a suicide attempt. Worst of all was the 56 examples of Offense to God (the use of God's name, direct and euphemistically), with and without the three-four letter word vocabulary Although CAP Investigation Standards do not include acts of actual war as examples of unacceptable material, the Vietnam war in the movie was not an actual accounting of the war nor actual file footage -- it was Hollywood fanfare of gore and violence. Two sodliers were incinerated to the bone with bomb fire. Another was tossed by bomb blast.These things happened in the Vietnam war, but the "soldiers" in Forrest Gump were not soldiers nor were they in Vietnam. Of other noteworthiness was nudity, physical abuse of a woman, child gang brutality against a disadvantaged child, and a child sneaking out of her house in the middle of the night to get into bed with Gump as a child.

I believe this is the MOST eloquent example of their sheer stupidity.:up:

Cripes.

And I always thought that Forrest Gump was one of the most blatant right-wing diatribes I've ever seen onscreen. (granted, I've never seen anything by John Milius)
 
I'd want to see them do a review of New York Doll, a documentary about a rocker from the punk group New York Dolls who hits rock bottom and then finds God in the Mormon church. $5 says that they'll still complain about all the horrible stuff despite the fact that he changes his ways. Not to mention I wouldn't be surprised to have it include an anti-Mormon rant in there as well.
 
C.F. Kane said:
Cripes.

And I always thought that Forrest Gump was one of the most blatant right-wing diatribes I've ever seen onscreen. (granted, I've never seen anything by John Milius)
Speaking of,I am disappointed that he did not review Conan.I would have loved to see his opinion about the orgy dedicated to a giant snake.:up:
 
This is hilarious:
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And what is the deal with "It's not good enough,no matter what 'it' is"?It's like his catch-phrase or something.

Kids can also learn how to take drugs, commit a crime, or have sex by watching these media.

Uh...does the media have to teach kids how to have sex?Doesn't instinct cover that?
 

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