Chuck Norris Jokes!!! (and rate)

[Spider-X]

4/10

Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer...too bad he never cries.

11/10!!!

That was friggen hilarious! Go self!!! yeah!!!

heh...heh...

 

[Honey Vibe]

Yeah, but it's on Chucky Facts so -1998389/10

Chuck Norris cannot be pictured in his underwear.

 

[BizarroAids]

7/10

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door!

 

[Kargo Warrior]

6/10


''A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.''

''James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.''

''Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.''

 

[Majic Walrus]

10/10 - 10/10 - 8/10

When Chuck Norris "pops" a Pringle's can lid, he can stop.

 

[Astrø]

10/10 - 10/10 - 8/10

When Chuck Norris "pops" a Pringle's can lid, he can stop.

"Its Over 9,000!"/10

awww crap my brain can't think of one....wait I got it! When Chuck Norris does push-ups he dosn't move up or down...the earth moves for him.

 

[Majic Walrus]

8/10 Thanks for the high regard!

Chuck Norris doesn't wish upon a star, the stars wish upon Chuck Norris.

 

[Ace of Knaves]

 

[Astrø]

8/10 Thanks for the high regard!

Chuck Norris doesn't wish upon a star, the stars wish upon Chuck Norris.

8/10

The grass is always greener on the other side unless Chuck Norris has been there. Then the land is full of blood and tears.

 

[Astrø]

10/10! hahah..he...heh...


Chuck Norris has a night-light. Not because he is scared of the dark, but because the dark is scared of him.

 

[Spider-X]

shouldn't that be " Darkness sleeps with a night light on because it's afraid of Chuck Norris" ?

Chuck Norris can touch M.C. hammer.

 

[Majic Walrus]

7/10 I like Spider-X's version better.

There is no such thing as nuclear warhead. The US just dropped Chuck Norris onto Hiroshima and Nagasaki from an airplane.

 

[Ace of Knaves]

10/10
A rumour has been circulating that Chuck Norris is a super-hero, he denies this. His reason being that "superman is a tart" and he doesn't want to be affiliated with such puny specimens.

 

[Honey Vibe]

2/10

Chuck Norris took off that kangaroo's head, because that kangaroo was "a guy with a purse".

 

[Sentinel X]

1/10

Chuck Norris doesn't read long words or books, Chuck Norris only reads Chuck Norris's fingers..and Chuck Norris's fingers are round!

 

[Honey Vibe]

??/10

When in need of back up, Commissioner Gordon turns on the bat signal. Batman turns on the Chuck Norris signal.

 

[Sentinel X]

2.05/10

Chuck Norris's poops aren't brown...they are rainbow colored and smell like blueberry muffins.

 

[Immortalfire]

3/10

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

 

[Honey Vibe]

5/10 That was already posted above.

When Chuck Norris goes to the arcarde, THE GAME PAYS, CHUCK STAYS.

 

[Zephyr Alexian]

Six.

Barbers don't cut Chuck Norris' hair. The hair cuts itself. Out of fear.

 

[darkseid26]

6/10

Chuck Norris can speak braille

 

[The Chairman]

10 / 10

There was no Hurricane Katrina. Chuck Norris was blowing out his birthday candles.

 

[Hoban]

6/10


Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands once. Now they are simply called "The Islands".

 

[Honey Vibe]

10/10

Cipher: "If I had to choose between Chuck Norris and the Matrix... ...I choose THE MATRIX!"

 

[Honey Vibe]

10/10

Cipher: "If I had to choose between Chuck Norris and the Matrix... ...I choose THE MATRIX!"