Corrupt A Wish

[DACMAN]

I became you and you became me. Then you realized how much better my life is than yours.

I wish I could finish a sente...

 

[bell110]

You finished the sentence, and the sentence is DEATH.

I hope it's not my sentence.

 

[Sensi]

It won't be your sentence. You will have a full life with a person who drives you insane.

I wish to have a merry Christmas.

 

[Vengeance]

You will but then alcohol will be banned and you'll just have a pleseant nice little christmas instead

I wish I was spending Christmas with somebody special where they are

 

[Sensi]

You will but then you think why did I ever want to be HERE and you are stuck there forever.

I wish i had a glass of wine.

 

[Vengeance]

You will have a box full and be half way through and then realize its blackcurrent

I wish I was standing under the mistletoe with that special person right now

 

[Sensi]

You will be but right when you are going to kiss your love... the dog runs and knocks you over

I wish I was loved.

 

[Vengeance]

You'll stand there for a second & think and then realize you already are

I wish I was hugging somebody right now

 

[Sensi]

You will be but you soon realize you are super glued together forever

I wish I was through shopping.

 

[Vengeance]

You will be all done but then as you are taking the shopping out of the car somebody drives off with half of it

I wish I could buy a present for somebody

 

[Bruce Banner]

You would by a present... the wrong one. And they stab you in the eye with a fork.


I wish I lived in NYC

 

[Sensi]

You will but you will be one of the homeless people sleeping on the sidewalk.

I wish I could disappear.

 

[Bruce Banner]

You will vanish, but you will be stuck in a weird alternate reality with a person you truly hate.


I wish I had didn't have health problems

 

[bell110]

You will vanish, but you will be stuck in a weird alternate reality with a person you truly hate.


I wish I had didn't have health problems

You die, so health is no longer a problem.

I wish we had 18" of snow

 

[Sensi]

You will but you will be buried under it.

I wish I had a cinnamon candy stick.

 

[Indrid Cold]

Your cinnamon candy stick was made in a federal prison by inmate 080909, who laced it with crushed glass.

I wish I could be a rock star.

 

[Sensi]

You will literally become a Rock Star and be sold in tourist traps

I wish to watch cute animal videos

 

[Indrid Cold]

You get to watch a cute animal video to realize it's baby seals being clubbed for fur.

I wish Batman would be my friend.

 

[The Navigator]

Batman is everyone's friend. Until they break the law...which you WILL.

I wish Justice League was back on the air...

 

[Indrid Cold]

Justice League returns to airwaves, starring fat men in latex, cancelled after one episode. (did you see the pilot? Gross!!)

I wish I could have tea with Neil Gaiman.

 

[bell110]

You do, and he finds you a complete moron not worthy of his precious time. He throws his tea in your face.

I wish I never had to pay for alcohol.

 

[Indrid Cold]

You don't pay for the alcohol and are gunned down in a convenience store parking lot.

I wish I had a clone.

 

[BlueLightning]

You will have a clone, but he will have the same memories you have and there will be absolutely no form of recognize you.

I wish for some chocolate.

 

[Anubis]

Okay, but it's a laxative.

I wish that I didn't bang that stripper.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

Wish granted. Sadly, you still banged the stripper.

I wish I was the stripper Anubis banged.