Dating sites...?

[hopefuldreamer]

Okay I have a question - why is my internet dating experiance completely mirroring my real life?



Basically, I have had a good response on POF over the last month. And i've responded to messages from about 5 or 6 guys who I thought looked like people I could get on with and possibly be attracted too.

But for some reason it doesn't go any further.

As in real life, they like the look of me. They have a little flirt. And then that's IT!

What the hell do these guys want? Why message me if you don't have the guts to actually go on a date with me if I respond?

 

[amazingfantasy15]

There are some stereotypes that became occurances on dating sites..


(Girls who leave the state frequently.) who wants to date someone who "Loves to travel" Which means they aint gonna be around long enough to even try and start something up.

(The girl on the rebound) girls who just broke up with there boyfriends looking to date some new guy to escape there feelings.
Which isnt fair to the new guy!

(The girl lying about being single) girls on these sites that are in co-dependent relationships, theyre looking to date other people behind there boyfriends back to get even or hurt his feelings, which is fair to No One.

(The girl hiding something) be it being bipolar, a drug addict, or any other mental illness, they are keeping from people they are about to meet off the internet.

(the girl with the misleading photos) they look one way in there pictures and you end up meeting them in person they look like a completley different person altogether.

(the girl who is the attention ****e) only on dating sites to boost her self esteem and not really going to meet anyone for a date.

(the girl whos a fake picture) this can be scary someone posting photos thats not them and talking on the phone pretending to be someone they are not.


Dating websites like Okcupid and plenty of fish is a huge gamble.

Why do you think the majority of these people are dating online? Be it woman or man, They are the Unwanted. They arent good in relationships, they fall into the catagories listed above^

First off, you're using OKCupid, Plentyoffish and you just said MySpace, there's your problem. You're looking for a needle in a haystack on those sites. Anita found her's and it took her 3 years.

People serious about dating online are usually people with jobs and lives that make it hard to find a date. When I was online, I had a job and most of my friends were already in long term relationships, so we weren't going to the usual meet markets. The summer I was seriously looking, I was online, playing on a recreational sports team and in a running club. Eventually it was online that worked, that was eHarmony a pay site. For those people that look at eHarmony as too expensive, create a profile on a free communication weekend, then wait a bit, you'll probably get emailed a discount code, that's what I did, got a huge discount.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Okay I have a question - why is my internet dating experiance completely mirroring my real life?



Basically, I have had a good response on POF over the last month. And i've responded to messages from about 5 or 6 guys who I thought looked like people I could get on with and possibly be attracted too.

But for some reason it doesn't go any further.

As in real life, they like the look of me. They have a little flirt. And then that's IT!

What the hell do these guys want? Why message me if you don't have the guts to actually go on a date with me if I respond?

It's 2012, ask them out, don't wait for them to ask you out.

 

[Anita18]

Okay I have a question - why is my internet dating experiance completely mirroring my real life?



Basically, I have had a good response on POF over the last month. And i've responded to messages from about 5 or 6 guys who I thought looked like people I could get on with and possibly be attracted too.

But for some reason it doesn't go any further.

As in real life, they like the look of me. They have a little flirt. And then that's IT!

What the hell do these guys want? Why message me if you don't have the guts to actually go on a date with me if I respond?

Happened to me a few times too. -shrug- Some guys don't know how to take things further. And sometimes when you get to chatting, they decide they don't want to take it further. I weeded out a number of guys at the chat level.

Then again I'm a woman and I was raised to protect myself before I met a guy for a date.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

It's 2012, ask them out, don't wait for them to ask you out.

I have with a couple of them.

The line goes dead...

Which just super bugs me because THEY messaged ME. What's the problem? You suddenly decided 'Nah, actually I could do better'?

Besides, i'm really sick of always being the one to make the first move. It never leads to anything serious. It just leads to guys who think 'meh, might be fun for a night' and don't actually like me all that much. If a guy was actually digging me, he'd ask me out.

 

[Anita18]

There are some stereotypes that became occurances on dating sites..


(Girls who leave the state frequently.) who wants to date someone who "Loves to travel" Which means they aint gonna be around long enough to even try and start something up.

(The girl on the rebound) girls who just broke up with there boyfriends looking to date some new guy to escape there feelings.
Which isnt fair to the new guy!

(The girl lying about being single) girls on these sites that are in co-dependent relationships, theyre looking to date other people behind there boyfriends back to get even or hurt his feelings, which is fair to No One.

(The girl hiding something) be it being bipolar, a drug addict, or any other mental illness, they are keeping from people they are about to meet off the internet.

(the girl with the misleading photos) they look one way in there pictures and you end up meeting them in person they look like a completley different person altogether.

(the girl who is the attention ****e) only on dating sites to boost her self esteem and not really going to meet anyone for a date.

(the girl whos a fake picture) this can be scary someone posting photos thats not them and talking on the phone pretending to be someone they are not.


Dating websites like Okcupid and plenty of fish is a huge gamble.

Why do you think the majority of these people are dating online? Be it woman or man, They are the Unwanted. They arent good in relationships, they fall into the catagories listed above^

Um, you missed a big one. Introverted hermit. We can't get dates in real life because we don't go out and don't meet new people.

Cause my fiance and I don't fall into ANY of your categories, sorry.

Thanks for labeling us Unwanted though. At least other people will leave us alone.

 

[Anita18]

I have with a couple of them.

The line goes dead...

Which just super bugs me because THEY messaged ME. What's the problem? You suddenly decided 'Nah, actually I could do better'?

Besides, i'm really sick of always being the one to make the first move. It never leads to anything serious. It just leads to guys who think 'meh, might be fun for a night' and don't actually like me all that much. If a guy was actually digging me, he'd ask me out.

A lot of people really do change their minds. Maybe they messaged a bunch of women at once (a lot of messages I got were like this) and someone else bit first.

It did take me 3 years to find my fiance. And I only went on like, 5 dates during that time. There's a lot of patience involved...

 

[Pink Ranger]

Okay I have a question - why is my internet dating experiance completely mirroring my real life?



Basically, I have had a good response on POF over the last month. And i've responded to messages from about 5 or 6 guys who I thought looked like people I could get on with and possibly be attracted too.

But for some reason it doesn't go any further.

As in real life, they like the look of me. They have a little flirt. And then that's IT!

What the hell do these guys want? Why message me if you don't have the guts to actually go on a date with me if I respond?

Sorry to break this to you sister, but it's because you're a DC fan. Come on, the "reboot" gave you a perfect opportunity to jump on the winning ship.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Sorry to break this to you sister, but it's because you're a DC fan. Come on, the "reboot" gave you a perfect opportunity to jump on the winning ship.

... Are you the guy on POF that I had a back and forth debate about Marvel vs DC with?

A lot of people really do change their minds. Maybe they messaged a bunch of women at once (a lot of messages I got were like this) and someone else bit first.

It did take me 3 years to find my fiance. And I only went on like, 5 dates during that time. There's a lot of patience involved...

Well that's why I tend to not bother replying to generic 'Hi, you're hot' messages.

All the guys i've replied to have actually put thought into what they were saying, asked questions, showed a sense of humour etc.

Thinking about what you said takes me back to when we were comparing internet dating to getting a job. Which is a perfect comparison for me right now because i'm looking for a job lol.

Basically someone has seen my resume online. Then they approach me to discuss putting me up for the position. But the other candidates were more what they were looking for.

 

[Pink Ranger]

... Are you the guy on POF that I had a back and forth debate about Marvel vs DC with?

Clearly you misunderstood me, the "winning side" I was referring to was not Marvel, it was Archie comics! That's right, I'm hardcore that way.

 

[Dark Raven]

I have with a couple of them.

The line goes dead...

Which just super bugs me because THEY messaged ME. What's the problem? You suddenly decided 'Nah, actually I could do better'?

Besides, i'm really sick of always being the one to make the first move. It never leads to anything serious. It just leads to guys who think 'meh, might be fun for a night' and don't actually like me all that much. If a guy was actually digging me, he'd ask me out.

It's possible that they've run out of things to say or to ask. It happens. Some people just don't give much of a response and don't ask you anything, so after a few of those I will stop messaging them because they obviously don't seem to want to make any conversation but seem to be just answering almost as if to get you off their back. I'm not saying you're doing that, but that's just one of the reasons why people stop writing.

Or as Anita said, it is just whoever bit first. It's a bit like applying for lots of jobs at once. Eventually someone might bite and might even offer you a position while another person is just entertaining the idea but not really serious about it. You're going to go where there's more activity.

I try to ask people online to meet in real life as soon as possible. I have no desire to have a pen pal. Some do like the idea of emailing though, as if it's a romantic notion of falling in love online like in "You've Got Mail". That seems completely artificial to me and sets you up for all kinds of crap later on because you can just get emotionally attached to a person you would have allowed to get that far in real life, just because of a kind of emailing addiction and the ability to share intimate things with an anonymous face. That whole idea just creeps me out and I avoid it like the plague.

 

[I'm Old Greg]

Yeah Hermits i fell into that group growin up thts why i turned to the internet to meet people.
I moved around soo much i wasnt able to keep or make friends for the long term i became a ghost no one really knew me.


I never tried pay sites but from what ive known from the free ones it was never any good.

Someone made a joke cause in typing this on my phone and forgot to put ","
Well now im dating a girl ive known for years from myspace, we met last year and had soo much in comon, shes actually German and part chinese. We became friends on facebook i was able to see her friends and family on there and she was able to see mine so i felt more comfortable meeting her.

On dating sites people put what they want and hide what they want. And over time meeting them you see them for who they truley are it can be a total shock.

I think the best way to meet someone is by getting to know then without having that prenotion that you want to date them. On dating sites people are trying to lure you in to date then for bad or good.
Free Dating sites set soo much up for fail.

Maybe the people who are taking the time to pay are much more serious about meeting someone than a free site?

I still feel people who go on dating sites have hangups that keep them single.
Its funny how those people who dont help how they are expext to have someone better than themselves, aint gonna happen not for a long term relationship.

I can believe people having success my swedish co worker met her husbamd off of okcupid but see what i mean? She got her green card went from being slim to overweight cause shes bot happy with this guy living in his dads house.
But it was twi people with needs getting together and settling.

I just dont trust people on the internet that are single especially passed there twenties.

 

[I'm Old Greg]

Be careful with people who keep writing but dont wan to further it by meeting, god knows why?

An aquantence of mine met someone like that after going on to the girl they should really ought to meet, he met her she was waaay older an used a younger girls photo. He was scared when he met her how she kept trying to convince him they loved each other before he knew the truth.

That is a whole lot of creepy right there.

I used to work deliverin pizza an this guy from los angelese showed us pictures of his ex and everyone said she was hot turned out she was a dude and on a tv show about having a sex change, he said he met her online. He/she didnt want kids and that bothered him andshe told hin way later on about her sexchange. He loved her he said but dumped her for various reasons her lieing to him and being a man. He showe us his girlfriend now he met in school and she was a girl who does want kids.
My sister met a guy off the internet before i ever though to, he looked nothing like his photo and was working at a deli she me him there and e was missing teeth. She was soo thrown off that he looked older than what he said. She never onlined dated again.
She married her highschool boyfriend she got re incontacted with thank god!

 

[Erzengel]

I can believe people having success my swedish co worker met her husbamd off of okcupid but see what i mean? She got her green card went from being slim to overweight cause shes bot happy with this guy living in his dads house.
But it was twi people with needs getting together and settling.

Isn't that her fault for letting it progress to marriage?

 

[I'm Old Greg]

she wanted to stay in the states. So he got a gorgeous girl and she got her green card, hes lucky as of the moment she doesnt go up and divorce him as time passes for lack of things in common.

It all just seems like a waste to me iv lived in different states and people are people theydo the same things its strange.

The last two girls i dated off the internet dating scene were nightmares its that moment you have when you say to them "OH 'This' is why youre Single."

Iv gone on dates with girls and finding out later on they have boyfriends. One was buying or grtting him to buy her a house at the time! Its disgusting how the women iv met could be. I bailed ship soo often with girls on these sites.

 

[Binker]

I believe that is called getting a hooker. Lol.

Maybe he'll get a Hooker with a Heart of Gold.

I have with a couple of them.

The line goes dead...

Which just super bugs me because THEY messaged ME. What's the problem? You suddenly decided 'Nah, actually I could do better'?

Besides, i'm really sick of always being the one to make the first move. It never leads to anything serious. It just leads to guys who think 'meh, might be fun for a night' and don't actually like me all that much. If a guy was actually digging me, he'd ask me out.

That just happened with me right now on Facebook; a old acquaintance friended me, and after months and seeing when to hang out, she ignores me for weeks and then, today, unfriends me and blocks me, and my last message was about how I could make this get together she was attending and how I could make it.

Humanity...

No those girls exist. Just leveling the playing field.

Guy: I wish I had a girlfriend.
Guy 2: What about her?
Guy: Oh. She's not hot enough.

I want to quote this post, even though the conversation started with a different post. But I've those feelings, but not because they weren't hot (I don't even use that line or feeling), I just do when I just can't see me and that someone together. I believe a woman would like someone who has a sound mind in what he, or she, wants, and won't lead them on.

 

[PyroChamber]

Originally Posted by I'm Old Greg
There are some stereotypes that became occurances on dating sites..


(Girls who leave the state frequently.) who wants to date someone who "Loves to travel" Which means they aint gonna be around long enough to even try and start something up.

(The girl on the rebound) girls who just broke up with there boyfriends looking to date some new guy to escape there feelings.
Which isnt fair to the new guy!

(The girl lying about being single) girls on these sites that are in co-dependent relationships, theyre looking to date other people behind there boyfriends back to get even or hurt his feelings, which is fair to No One.

(The girl hiding something) be it being bipolar, a drug addict, or any other mental illness, they are keeping from people they are about to meet off the internet.

(the girl with the misleading photos) they look one way in there pictures and you end up meeting them in person they look like a completley different person altogether.

(the girl who is the attention ****e) only on dating sites to boost her self esteem and not really going to meet anyone for a date.

(the girl whos a fake picture) this can be scary someone posting photos thats not them and talking on the phone pretending to be someone they are not.


Dating websites like Okcupid and plenty of fish is a huge gamble.

Why do you think the majority of these people are dating online? Be it woman or man, They are the Unwanted. They arent good in relationships, they fall into the catagories listed above^

Don't forget the ones who are there just to make friends, which I personally don't get.

 

[I'm Old Greg]

Friends are fine nothing wrong with that is why i didnt list it. I think its good to befriend someone before jumping into a relationship or date.

Dates are wierd. People act like its an interview others act like hoes just to get a boyfriend.
I think starting off real and a friend can progress to a more stable relationship in the long run.

I knew my current girlfriend for years but became actual friends for a solid year and then we became a couple since. Shes normal we can trust each other. Meeting her the way i did is better than any girl i had a date with or blind date with for that matter, the ones before have all been nutcases. no matter how attractive theyre not worth a god damn thats for sure and funny enough theyre still single or with guys an still hitting me up Forget that!

 

[Binker]

Is there anyone who could give me a detail step by step how to on making the profiles on okcupid (I'm starting there first) the right way?

 

[Anita18]

Or as Anita said, it is just whoever bit first. It's a bit like applying for lots of jobs at once. Eventually someone might bite and might even offer you a position while another person is just entertaining the idea but not really serious about it. You're going to go where there's more activity.

That happened to me once. I got to chatting with a guy and thought we had a lot in common, and then he pretty much disappeared after we chatted twice. I always figured some other girl said yes to a real-life meeting first. No hard feelings, it's just timing.

Yeah Hermits i fell into that group growin up thts why i turned to the internet to meet people.

.....

I still feel people who go on dating sites have hangups that keep them single.
Its funny how those people who dont help how they are expext to have someone better than themselves, aint gonna happen not for a long term relationship.

....

I just dont trust people on the internet that are single especially passed there twenties.

...What?

Is there anyone who could give me a detail step by step how to on making the profiles on okcupid (I'm starting there first) the right way?

Depends what kind of girl you want. Like what I was telling CC earlier, the kinds of guys you get by showing off skin will be completely different than the guys you get if you write a witty post.

In your case, you can show off your abs (real or airbrushed, most can't tell) or you can post a picture of yourself with a puppy. Or write like ur a txting f13nd or write like you have a brain.

 

[obin_gam]

For free sites I've found badoo.com to be very good. Basically you sift through and "vote" people if you want to meet them: "Yes" "Maybe" or "No", and then you can just sit back and wait for others to do the same with your profile and if you and the other person has Yes or Maybe:d the other, you can just strike up a chat with them.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Okay, one tip for guys on dating sites.

If a girl doesn't message you back straight away, do not send another message. And then another. And then another.

I responded to a guy once, and then I went away from my computer. An hour later I had two more responses, one that was actually in the context of the conversation, and then other was an added thought an hour later saying 'you're really sexy', which TBH just kind of put me off so I stopped bothering.

The next day I had a message saying 'not interested then, huh?', then two days later 'having a good weekend?' and then 5 days after that 'hey you! what you got planned this weekend, let's meet up and have some good times'. I've responded to none of them.

Do you know what this guy now seems like to me? Scarily desperate and a little creepy. He has absolutely no chance of me ever replying.

When a guy is that eager all it says to me is that they are looking for a woman of any kind, and it wouldn't matter if it was me or anyone else.

Which isn't what a girl wants. You wanna make her feel like you feel lucky to have found a girl like her on a dating website!

 

[knowsbleed]

So... what are you doing this weekend? Let's meet up and have some good times.

 

[Erzengel]

Okay, one tip for guys on dating sites.

If a girl doesn't message you back straight away, do not send another message. And then another. And then another.

I responded to a guy once, and then I went away from my computer. An hour later I had two more responses, one that was actually in the context of the conversation, and then other was an added thought an hour later saying 'you're really sexy', which TBH just kind of put me off so I stopped bothering.

The next day I had a message saying 'not interested then, huh?', then two days later 'having a good weekend?' and then 5 days after that 'hey you! what you got planned this weekend, let's meet up and have some good times'. I've responded to none of them.

Do you know what this guy now seems like to me? Scarily desperate and a little creepy. He has absolutely no chance of me ever replying.

When a guy is that eager all it says to me is that they are looking for a woman of any kind, and it wouldn't matter if it was me or anyone else.

Which isn't what a girl wants. You wanna make her feel like you feel lucky to have found a girl like her on a dating website!

That story is so funny.

I'll PM you that it's funny in cause you don't see that I replied to this.

 

[Anita18]

Okay, one tip for guys on dating sites.

If a girl doesn't message you back straight away, do not send another message. And then another. And then another.

I responded to a guy once, and then I went away from my computer. An hour later I had two more responses, one that was actually in the context of the conversation, and then other was an added thought an hour later saying 'you're really sexy', which TBH just kind of put me off so I stopped bothering.

The next day I had a message saying 'not interested then, huh?', then two days later 'having a good weekend?' and then 5 days after that 'hey you! what you got planned this weekend, let's meet up and have some good times'. I've responded to none of them.

Do you know what this guy now seems like to me? Scarily desperate and a little creepy. He has absolutely no chance of me ever replying.

When a guy is that eager all it says to me is that they are looking for a woman of any kind, and it wouldn't matter if it was me or anyone else.

Which isn't what a girl wants. You wanna make her feel like you feel lucky to have found a girl like her on a dating website!

Happened to me a few times. I just and then blocked 'em. You can't teach a creepster how not to be a creepster.