Dealing with Depression

[MaceB]

Hi all, this is one of the first times I've posted a new thread. I didn't see any similar threads on the front page, so I thought it might be valuable to some folks. If there is a duplicate out there, my mistake, please feel free to take this one down.

I just wanted to unload my bummers on people I guess. I think a lot of people don't really know what clinical depression is like, but when you have it, so much of life becomes crazy difficult...hazy and confused. Having an alcohol abuse problem doesn't help much either; of course they work together, eating away all my self confidence.

Anyway, I feel like a lot of people with depression just want a place where they can talk without feeling criticized. We can't really talk about it much with people in our regular lives though because it always turns out the same. At first, it's "I'm so sorry, I'll do whatever I can to help." Eventually, they realize that there's nothing they can do and hanging out with a depressed person is...well...depressing. So it turns into, "Why don't you just try to have a good time," or some such thing. But it all ends in self isolation, goodbye friends.

I dunno, it's a weird thing to talk about, but sometimes you just need to say, to hell with it, I feel horrible. I hate myself. Sometimes I want to die. None of those are good things, but if I don't say it (or type it) out loud, I'm just going to say it to myself, and I'm tired of my inner dialogue. That guy really hates my guts. I can't allow it to fester any longer.

One of the saddest parts for me is the guilt. Because the truth is that the cure for depression is obvious. Eat healthy, exercise, devote time to improving yourself, and devote time to being with others. There's a lot of guilt in knowing that you could make the choice to do those things, but it just feels like the mountain is so high... it'd take forever, and I'd probably not make it anyway... so no effort is made to even start. Thus, the cycle of self hate goes on and on. Still, I know there is hope, for me and for everyone who is feeling depressed and alone. Maybe we can help each other a little bit.

If you'd like to post your own insane thoughts, please feel free. They can't be crazier than mine, trust me, and it's cathartic so they say. I'm sure this community will be cool and supportive of all who need help. Cheers all.

 

[Tanin]

The cure for depression is not obvious and very different for each person. If it is persistent or leads to suicidal behavior or thoughts seeing a doctor about it is the best solution. My mother had depression so bad the only solution for her was ECT. It took them 40 years and every drug on the market before they got to it so sometimes it takes even doctors a long time to solve true hardcore depression. Real depression; The kind where you are upset for no in life cause like a lost job or a dead relative is very hard to almost impossible to fix alone.

That cure of yours is a common sense lie and doesn't really work to cure depression.

 

[MaceB]

I dunno, I think that's there's some truth in both our statements. Chemical imbalances in the brain are real and can be helped with Serotonin Re-uptake inhibitors like Prozac, but a great equalizer of brain chemistry is also just every day exercise and physical fitness. It's both - there are some things you can't change on your own, but there are some things you can. The unfortunate thing about depression, is that you don't feel motivated to make progress on either side.

 

[JewishHobbit]

Yeah, depression sucks. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and some post-traumatic stress disorder last year after my marriage nearly fell apart. I won't go into detail, but as a result I've been on medicine that helps take the edge off. Fortunately, we were able to fix our marriage, but the effects still last and are difficult to deal with every day.

One of my best friends has been fighting depression for nearly 20 years, and another friend has it so bad that she attempted suicide multiple times. She's finally gotten help though, so that's good. They both have.

 

[MaceB]

Help is key. Congrats on fixing your marriage. That's great that you've been able to sort it out and work with your depression. It aint easy, that's for sure.

 

[Tanin]

I dunno, I think that's there's some truth in both our statements. Chemical imbalances in the brain are real and can be helped with Serotonin Re-uptake inhibitors like Prozac, but a great equalizer of brain chemistry is also just every day exercise and physical fitness. It's both - there are some things you can't change on your own, but there are some things you can. The unfortunate thing about depression, is that you don't feel motivated to make progress on either side.

I only mean any doctor that tells you straight up life changes are the only cure for a brain imbalance has no real reason to call himself a doctor.

 

[JewishHobbit]

Help is key. Congrats on fixing your marriage. That's great that you've been able to sort it out and work with your depression. It aint easy, that's for sure.

It's still a work in progress, but the worst is past in regards to the marriage. The depression and anxiety is another story unfortunately. Changing factors will help, and we're trying to bring those factors to fruition. Unfortunately it's just going to have to take time.

 

[BatmanVSuperman]

Yeah, depression sucks. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and some post-traumatic stress disorder last year after my marriage nearly fell apart. I won't go into detail, but as a result I've been on medicine that helps take the edge off. Fortunately, we were able to fix our marriage, but the effects still last and are difficult to deal with every day.

One of my best friends has been fighting depression for nearly 20 years, and another friend has it so bad that she attempted suicide multiple times. She's finally gotten help though, so that's good. They both have.

I think everyone could be diagnosed with those disorders. It's whether we hit a breaking point where we need medication, in order to stop inflicting further damage within our lives. I've certainly gone through depression and anxiety, but I figure most people have the same issues. It's just part of being a human being. Try to have some good days with the bad, and even life out

 

[JewishHobbit]

I definitely needed medicine and didn't realize how badly until I tried to go off of it. I try to keep it at the minimum amount needed, but it's not easy.

 

[squeekness]

There are different reasons for depression. Mine is more situational. I suffer from chronic pain and it just wears you down. My doc tried me on four different anti-depressants and each one made me more sick than the last. Clearly my body doesn't tolerate them well. I have days where I just want to die. What is a person supposed to do about that?

 

[BatmanVSuperman]

The medicine for depression and anxiety could be prescribed to 99% of us. We all suffer from it as human beings imo. Sure, there are some with worse onslaught of it, but it is something we all have to contend with at points in our life. The easy route is just to use medicine to ease symptoms for a while. Make the drug companies money anyway... Dealing with the root causes of these areas of depression is the real treatment we need, that hardly is addressed or focused on.

 

[CyclopsWasRight]

My Mum suffers seasonal depression. For half the year she's depressed, unsure of herself, quiet and sad then one day she wakes up and it's all gone and she's hyper and hardly sitting down, talking to everyone, outgoing, worry-free then six months or so later she wakes up depressed again

 

[DarthSkywalker]

My Mum suffers seasonal depression. For half the year she's depressed, unsure of herself, quiet and sad then one day she wakes up and it's all gone and she's hyper and hardly sitting down, talking to everyone, outgoing, worry-free then six months or so later she wakes up depressed again

I get this completely. I am depressed in general, but my anxiety and depression kicks into high gear in the summer. During the fall and winter months I have my bad moments, but overall am pretty up. But during the summer, I get extremely worried and anxious. With less to do, I think I worry more. It may seem weird, but with regular television and the NFL, I feel better. I guess it distracts me.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

I have schizophrenia, bi-polar and alcoholism but have always managed to never get too down. I've watched my mother wrestle with depression most of her life though. The problem with mental disorders though is they are very tricky. What works for one person may not even be close to what fixes another. Sadly even with all the advances in tech and science these days most doctors just prescribe what they hope will work and then maybe it does or it doesn't. Also what a lot of folks don't understand is it takes bare minimum 30 days if not a few months for the medicine to actually do it's job. A lot of people don't get the quick fix they are used to and think it's not working. Also the crappy thing about mental issues is a lot of "normies" have this attitude in which they think you just need to suck it up and deal with it when that is not the case. I would advice you to seek out professional assistance in the matter and hopefully they can find a combo to help you out.

If you ever need someone to talk to about anything feel free to PM anytime

 

[DarthSkywalker]

 

[XtremelyBaneful]

i have struggled a very long time with depression and i still am. you have to tell yourself that although you may not be as happy as you could have been, it isn't too late to still live with some love and happiness in the life that you have left to fulfill.

 

[samsnee]

I've had dysthymia for as long as I can remember. The key for me is to just keep busy. I'm lucky that I live in a big city where I have things to keep me entertained. I grew up in a small town so I know how easy it can be to let your mind wander to darker places. The key is to just talk to someone. Someone who knows how to just listen and not judge. It's human nature to want to "fix" things. But with depression I really don't believe there's a fix per se. It's really just finding what works for you and recognizing when it gets worse.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

I feel like I'm seeing a somewhat disturbing pattern in this thread. Clinical depression is not something you can just deal with or learn how to live with. It is a chemical imbalance and needs medication and professional counseling to overcome. I'm not talking about the "oh my bf/gf dumped me" or the "I lost my job and all is lost" temporary depression, that stuff comes and goes with everyone. But if you have constant soul crushing depression that has persisted for more than 30 days or so you def need to go to a licensed professional and get help. My co-worker who is also a good friend of mine is dealing with depression and severe mood swings due to bi-polar, he recently attempted suicide before starting to work with us and even though I saw him last week and he was telling me about how good he felt with his new meds when I came into work yesterday I learned he had to commit himself to the hospital. The point I'm trying to make is no amount of eating right, exercising or inserting yourself into social situations you may not be equipped to handle right now is going to fix the chemical imbalance in your brain. Unfortunately as I said earlier finding the correct combo that works for you can take a long time before it is just right but it is worth doing. Nobody should have to feel the horrible things that goes through ones mind in the midst of deep depression. I remember when I was dealing with voices in my head and how maddening that was. I had a complete mental breakdown before I got help but once you do get help and the meds are working and everything feels so much better you will be kicking yourself for not seeking out help sooner. I'm not trying to be a dick here but I don't want anyone who reads this to think that this is just something they have to deal with for the rest of their life and it's never going to change. That's not the case and it can get better if you let the people who are trained to deal with help you. Last thing I would want is for someone to hurt themselves because they tried to just man up and deal with it on their own

 

[Hypestyle]

After two introductory/exploratory diagnoses sessions, I have yet to hear back from the therapy office that I approached. I had called a couple of other mental health agencies previously and was turned down, (after lengthy interviews) because in both cases, because it was determined that I was not immediately sucidal or on drugs, that I was ineligible for services.. It was infuriating dealing with the bureaucracy of public mental health "resources" when (at the time) I didn't have a health care plan due to being cut down to part-time status at work and even the 'Marketplace' plans were prohibitively expensive..

 

[CyclopsWasRight]

I first got depression when I was thirteen. It's never really gone since then. I function but am never out of it. Good days and bad days but there's always a haze and always those nagging negative thoughts that love to gang up inside your head

 

[Anita18]

I don't think there's a "cure" for depression. That implies it's a one-time thing and POOF you're fixed. Mental illness doesn't work that way.

But of course that doesn't mean your entire life will consist only of your worst days. There will be good and bad days. All the stuff that people tell you do to - get out of bed every day, take a shower, get out of the house, exercise, eat right - those will help you maintain momentum to get you through those worst days. But if you think of those things as a one-time fix, you'll be disappointed.

I have a friend who's battled depression and anxiety her entire life, and was recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder so she also has bouts of paranoia as well. I can't imagine what her life is like, but as long as she's willing to try, I'll be at her side cheering her on.

Mental illness is a hard thing to treat, and nobody does it quite right yet. But there are options out there, if you keep fighting to look for them.

 

[BatmanVSuperman]

I think there are way more people that have experienced depression than not. I don't know that medicine is always the answer though. I think getting to the root of the problem and making people face the issue through verbal therapy would be far more helpful. People are seeing regular doctors to get meds, and need real therapy.

 

[Anita18]

My view is that meds help you be in a good-enough place where talk therapy can help. When people are freaking out, talking isn't going to help by itself.

 

[BatmanVSuperman]

I think it should be on a more individual basis. Some people will clearly need medicinal help more than others. Doctors are so quick to hand out medications though.

 

[Lighthouse]

I have schizophrenia, bi-polar and alcoholism but have always managed to never get too down. I've watched my mother wrestle with depression most of her life though. The problem with mental disorders though is they are very tricky. What works for one person may not even be close to what fixes another. Sadly even with all the advances in tech and science these days most doctors just prescribe what they hope will work and then maybe it does or it doesn't. Also what a lot of folks don't understand is it takes bare minimum 30 days if not a few months for the medicine to actually do it's job. A lot of people don't get the quick fix they are used to and think it's not working. Also the crappy thing about mental issues is a lot of "normies" have this attitude in which they think you just need to suck it up and deal with it when that is not the case. I would advice you to seek out professional assistance in the matter and hopefully they can find a combo to help you out.

If you ever need someone to talk to about anything feel free to PM anytime

The other hard part is that most jobs are completely unsympathetic to mental illness, and professional help is expensive.