Hi all, this is one of the first times I've posted a new thread. I didn't see any similar threads on the front page, so I thought it might be valuable to some folks. If there is a duplicate out there, my mistake, please feel free to take this one down.
I just wanted to unload my bummers on people I guess. I think a lot of people don't really know what clinical depression is like, but when you have it, so much of life becomes crazy difficult...hazy and confused. Having an alcohol abuse problem doesn't help much either; of course they work together, eating away all my self confidence.
Anyway, I feel like a lot of people with depression just want a place where they can talk without feeling criticized. We can't really talk about it much with people in our regular lives though because it always turns out the same. At first, it's "I'm so sorry, I'll do whatever I can to help." Eventually, they realize that there's nothing they can do and hanging out with a depressed person is...well...depressing. So it turns into, "Why don't you just try to have a good time," or some such thing. But it all ends in self isolation, goodbye friends.
I dunno, it's a weird thing to talk about, but sometimes you just need to say, to hell with it, I feel horrible. I hate myself. Sometimes I want to die. None of those are good things, but if I don't say it (or type it) out loud, I'm just going to say it to myself, and I'm tired of my inner dialogue. That guy really hates my guts. I can't allow it to fester any longer.
One of the saddest parts for me is the guilt. Because the truth is that the cure for depression is obvious. Eat healthy, exercise, devote time to improving yourself, and devote time to being with others. There's a lot of guilt in knowing that you could make the choice to do those things, but it just feels like the mountain is so high... it'd take forever, and I'd probably not make it anyway... so no effort is made to even start. Thus, the cycle of self hate goes on and on. Still, I know there is hope, for me and for everyone who is feeling depressed and alone. Maybe we can help each other a little bit.
If you'd like to post your own insane thoughts, please feel free. They can't be crazier than mine, trust me, and it's cathartic so they say. I'm sure this community will be cool and supportive of all who need help. Cheers all.
I think getting to the root of the problem and making people face the issue through verbal therapy would be far more helpful. People are seeing regular doctors to get meds, and need real therapy.
