Dealing with Depression

[Anita18]

Sad but true. Still... You must have heard of the BOY WHO CRIED WOLF? Just saying.

I have a friend who cycles through periods of depression. She regularly cycles through crisis, and I've learned that hearing "I should just kill myself" from her does not mean she's actually going to do it that day. (If so, I would have called the police on her every month I've known her.)

Still, I don't tell her that she's only looking for attention, that she has nothing to be depressed about. Severe, depression means there's something broken in the brain, that often can't be fixed without medication to bring it back to a place where the person can think logically.

Even when it's been the umpteenth time I have to talk her out of crisis, I listen. That's the most important thing you can do.

But the thing is SuperSanchez, I remain receptive and supportive to my friend because she TRIES to get better. She sees a therapist regularly, and has seen therapists for years. She's tried medication before. She tells me what helps (running, going to bookstores, reading) and I encourage her to do those things when she's in a rut. She doesn't just claim she can handle it (despite cycling through depression regularly for the past 10 years) and do nothing. There's nothing we can help you with, if you refuse to help yourself.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

I have a friend who cycles through periods of depression. She regularly cycles through crisis, and I've learned that hearing "I should just kill myself" from her does not mean she's actually going to do it that day. (If so, I would have called the police on her every month I've known her.)

Still, I don't tell her that she's only looking for attention, that she has nothing to be depressed about. Severe, depression means there's something broken in the brain, that often can't be fixed without medication to bring it back to a place where the person can think logically.

Even when it's been the umpteenth time I have to talk her out of crisis, I listen. That's the most important thing you can do.

But the thing is SuperSanchez, I remain receptive and supportive to my friend because she TRIES to get better. She sees a therapist regularly, and has seen therapists for years. She's tried medication before. She tells me what helps (running, going to bookstores, reading) and I encourage her to do those things when she's in a rut. She doesn't just claim she can handle it (despite cycling through depression regularly for the past 10 years) and do nothing. There's nothing we can help you with, if you refuse to help yourself.

I haven't told Sanchez he doesn't have a problem. I've PM'd with him pretty much telling him the same thing. He should look to his friends and family and seek some professional aid.

 

[Warhammer]

Depressed people, as in, clinically diagnosed, often don't kill themselves. It's the dysthymic people you have to worry about. With dysthymia, there's motive.

 

[SuperSanchez]

I have a friend who cycles through periods of depression. She regularly cycles through crisis, and I've learned that hearing "I should just kill myself" from her does not mean she's actually going to do it that day. (If so, I would have called the police on her every month I've known her.)

Still, I don't tell her that she's only looking for attention, that she has nothing to be depressed about. Severe, depression means there's something broken in the brain, that often can't be fixed without medication to bring it back to a place where the person can think logically.

Even when it's been the umpteenth time I have to talk her out of crisis, I listen. That's the most important thing you can do.

But the thing is SuperSanchez, I remain receptive and supportive to my friend because she TRIES to get better. She sees a therapist regularly, and has seen therapists for years. She's tried medication before. She tells me what helps (running, going to bookstores, reading) and I encourage her to do those things when she's in a rut. She doesn't just claim she can handle it (despite cycling through depression regularly for the past 10 years) and do nothing. There's nothing we can help you with, if you refuse to help yourself.

I can very much relate to your friend, I'm alot like that. I know it doesn't seem like it but I do try to become better and I think I am improving a bit. Saying that I still feel sad regularly but I still think I am improving slowly.

 

[Warhammer]

I am taking medication. Mostly Prozac and Abilify. My episodes sometimes vary. Some have lasted weeks, other have lasted many months. I know that I've experienced a lot of moodswings. I sometimes have a new mood or feeling every 10-20 minutes.The two common ones are anger and sadness.

Are you involved with any psychotherapy? I know money and time plays a huge factor into that. I'm of the notion that while Prozac and Abilify can be great, medication has to be combined with psychotherapy so that the patient can eventually ween off the medication. That's in a perfect world, of course.

 

[Bran The Man]

Are you involved with any psychotherapy? I know money and time plays a huge factor into that. I'm of the notion that while Prozac and Abilify can be great, medication has to be combined with psychotherapy so that the patient can eventually ween off the medication. That's in a perfect world, of course.

I've been to therapy on and off within the last few years. I moved recently so I'm in the process of trying to find another therapist.

 

[Warhammer]

I've been to therapy on and off within the last few years. I moved recently so I'm in the process of trying to find another therapist.

That's good to hear, man. I hope that once you find a good one, you can get more consistency with your meetings. The psychotherapy with the right person is gold.

 

[Clark-Kent]

I don't know if I should consider help? I have some days where I'm pretty excited about what's going on, and then some days I hit a wall where I don't even want to be up or around people. I literally will go out cause I have to do things, but feel depressed. I hope it doesn't happen more and more often cause those days suck!!

 

[SuperSanchez]

I don't know if I should consider help? I have some days where I'm pretty excited about what's going on, and then some days I hit a wall where I don't even want to be up or around people. I literally will go out cause I have to do things, but feel depressed. I hope it doesn't happen more and more often cause those days suck!!

I can relate completely, I'm thinking I should probably see if I have bipolar idk.

 

[Anita18]

I don't know if I should consider help? I have some days where I'm pretty excited about what's going on, and then some days I hit a wall where I don't even want to be up or around people. I literally will go out cause I have to do things, but feel depressed. I hope it doesn't happen more and more often cause those days suck!!

If you are considering help, you should probably check it out. It's one of those things that is easier to manage when you acknowledge it early, instead of waiting until it's really bad. Mental health really is an issue of maintenance - even I'm not happy-go-lucky all the time!

 

[Bran The Man]

That's good to hear, man. I hope that once you find a good one, you can get more consistency with your meetings. The psychotherapy with the right person is gold.

Thanks for the support and the positivity, Warhammer.

 

[SuperSanchez]

I think I'm only depressed when I have no one to talk to, because when I'm talking to people I like or new people I get in a really really good mood if they actually want to talk and aren't just sending messages like "k" or "nah" and stuff like that.

 

[Warhammer]

Thanks for the support and the positivity, Warhammer.

You're welcome.

I think I'm only depressed when I have no one to talk to, because when I'm talking to people I like or new people I get in a really really good mood if they actually want to talk and aren't just sending messages like "k" or "nah" and stuff like that.

You solved your problem. If you feel like your sadness is honestly interfering with your life, get a diagnosis and the proper help. Whether it is or isn't, try to discover a support system. Become social. Hang out with your friends more often than you do now. Go to church. Join a club. Makes friends on Xbox Live or PSN. Even get a breathe of fresh air. Go walk outside and appreciate nature. Start working out.

Basically, what I am saying is get an outlet. And don't say "maybe I'm this way because..." Be a problem solver. Be proactive. If it's interfering with your life, make the proper arrangements. It's clearly enough of an issue that you're discussing it on a forum. I once reblogged a GIF on Tumblr about depression. It was a girl floating in water with a bunch of hands grabbing her from underneath. That is what "depression" (assuming we're talking about the loosely thrown term and not a clinical diagnosis) is. If you have a support system, those hands won't come out to reach you often and you'll be better equipped when they do.

 

[SuperSanchez]

You're welcome.




Become social. Hang out with your friends more often than you do now. Go to church. Join a club. Makes friends on Xbox Live or PSN. Even get a breathe of fresh air. Go walk outside and appreciate nature. Start working out.

I don't like making friends online that I won't ever meet in real life, need people to actually hang out with, go to movies etc. I go to youth group every friday night and I do feel accepted there but when I try talking to them outside of the group (there is a skype group with a few of them that I am in) idk it just seems they don't really like talking to me. I have tried reaching out and making new friends but most people just don't really want to talk to me.

 

[Anita18]

I don't like making friends online that I won't ever meet in real life, need people to actually hang out with, go to movies etc. I go to youth group every friday night and I do feel accepted there but when I try talking to them outside of the group (there is a skype group with a few of them that I am in) idk it just seems they don't really like talking to me. I have tried reaching out and making new friends but most people just don't really want to talk to me.

It sounds like you need people with the same interests as you. It can be hard depending on what your interests are - one major interest of mine is figure skating, which is a fairly obscure sport nowadays. I'm not sure how we did it before the internet.

But now there are websites like Meetup.com for meeting people with similar interests. My sister is a super social person and will go out to events at museums and small music venues, and go swing dancing, and make friends there. Just some ideas!

 

[SuperSanchez]

It sounds like you need people with the same interests as you. It can be hard depending on what your interests are - one major interest of mine is figure skating, which is a fairly obscure sport nowadays. I'm not sure how we did it before the internet.

But now there are websites like Meetup.com for meeting people with similar interests. My sister is a super social person and will go out to events at museums and small music venues, and go swing dancing, and make friends there. Just some ideas!

Exactly! Need someone I can go to comic shop with and someone who is as enthusiastic as me when booking a movie months in advances xD.
But honestly, I don't mind if we don't have the same interests, as long as they don't mind who I am and like me for who I am it's fine.

 

[Anita18]

Exactly! Need someone I can go to comic shop with and someone who is as enthusiastic as me when booking a movie months in advances xD.
But honestly, I don't mind if we don't have the same interests, as long as they don't mind who I am and like me for who I am it's fine.

I think it was the part where you said, "I have tried reaching out and making new friends but most people just don't really want to talk to me" that I figured it was about similar interests.

My husband and I actually don't share many of the same interests. (The only shared interest we have is technology.) We spend a lot of time together not really talking about our interests, but the most important thing is that we accept our different interests. I don't worry that he isn't into me because we aren't into the same things, but it sounded like you needed some kind of confirmation of friendship.

 

[SuperSanchez]

I think it was the part where you said, "I have tried reaching out and making new friends but most people just don't really want to talk to me" that I figured it was about similar interests.

My husband and I actually don't share many of the same interests. (The only shared interest we have is technology.) We spend a lot of time together not really talking about our interests, but the most important thing is that we accept our different interests. I don't worry that he isn't into me because we aren't into the same things, but it sounded like you needed some kind of confirmation of friendship.

I want to be social, I want to be that guy at the party that everyone likes and stuff (not a overpopular jerk but just someone that people like and notice) but I'm very socially awkward and find it hard to socialise unless of course as you said, have the same interests.
And that's really great you have a partner who is like that! I think someone like that would be good, although if I did have a partner I'd prefer that she wouldn't mind going to marvel movies and rock concerts and stuff together.

 

[Anita18]

I want to be social, I want to be that guy at the party that everyone likes and stuff (not a overpopular jerk but just someone that people like and notice) but I'm very socially awkward and find it hard to socialise unless of course as you said, have the same interests.

Maybe it's because you're still so young that it all seems mysterious, but as an adult I've found that it's much easier to be likable if you don't worry about how much people like you. You're too interested in what the other person's saying to worry about how you're coming off. And people REALLY like people who acknowledge them and listen to them, so if you're a good listener, you've pretty much got it made.

I'm an eager learner and I'm always interested in learning new things, so I'm pretty much the best listener ever. t: Despite my lack of experience in my current industry, a lot of people higher up know me because I'm always genuinely eager to listen and help.

To be social, it isn't about being interestING, it's about being interestED.

 

[Warhammer]

As a teen, there are so many constructs you confine yourself to. There are so many hierarchies you adhere to. That wasn't too long ago for me, but as I got older, I gained wisdom. Anita is spot on. After I stopped caring about how much people liked me, I ended up with more friends than I ever had in high school and with more confidence and self-esteem that I ever had. You'll get there, Sanchez.

 

[Alien Anal]

Yeh focus on school and learning some fun skills such as guitar or art or whatever takes your fancy. Its really great to have intelligent friends when you get older. That cliche of the dorks from high school becoming the cool kids of the adult world and the cool kids getting fat and pregnant is ringing true for me.

One girl I went to school with who was in no way part of the "cool kids" is now an amazing sfx make up artist making money off of a youtube channel.

You just gotta find your own group of raggy dolls to hang out with and give the finger to popularity and being "in".

 

[SuperSanchez]

As a teen, there are so many constructs you confine yourself to. There are so many hierarchies you adhere to. That wasn't too long ago for me, but as I got older, I gained wisdom. Anita is spot on. After I stopped caring about how much people liked me, I ended up with more friends than I ever had in high school and with more confidence and self-esteem that I ever had. You'll get there, Sanchez.

thanks, I know I seem like I care what others think of me as I say it alot on the forums, but I try my hardest not to. I mean for christs sakes all my clothing consists of marvel t-shirts and I love wearing this snapback that has on it in huge-font "Ant-Man" I don't worry too much any more about what others think but yeh as you said develop other skills, I am trying to record my first album so that's pretty fun, and of course my youtube channel so yeh, idk, I feel things will get easier soon.

 

[XtremelyBaneful]

I've struggled a long time with depression, and I've been depressed a lot this year

 

[SuperSanchez]

I've struggled a long time with depression, and I've been depressed a lot this year

If you wanna talk you can PM me, or share your feelings here up to you.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

thanks, I know I seem like I care what others think of me as I say it alot on the forums, but I try my hardest not to. I mean for christs sakes all my clothing consists of marvel t-shirts and I love wearing this snapback that has on it in huge-font "Ant-Man" I don't worry too much any more about what others think but yeh as you said develop other skills, I am trying to record my first album so that's pretty fun, and of course my youtube channel so yeh, idk, I feel things will get easier soon.

Here's the thing... Do you really think there is all this "judging" of you because you like super heroes?

This is a common thing with a lot of genre fans these days and it's really a holdover from a previous time for fans. These films are being watched and enjoyed by enough people that the expectations for some are in the billions of dollars of BO. We currently have quite a few super hero based shows as a well as world wide hits like The Walking Dead or venerable franchises like DOCTOR WHO... Sorry to burst all the "me against the world" type fanboys and girls out there but... We're mainstream now. The rest of the world has caught up to us. There is far less real stigma out there in social circles than some would care to admit.