Don't go to Heaven it's horrible

[Zenien]

The Bible describes heaven as a 1500 mile cube, similar to Star Trek's Borg
by Jim Walker
originated 31 March 1999

The frightful story of Heaven and Borg

I can't imagine a more frightening story than that of the Bible's heaven. Unfortunately most Christians believe heaven as a pleasant eternal vista for which their souls reside as one with their God, forever. Oh, but what they have misconstrued.

If one considers the Bible an authoritative source (and after all, that's where the idea of Christian heaven comes from) then you will find little to be desiring about the place called heaven unless you wish to become a mindless soul in a utopian world similar to the world of the Borg as presented by the Star Trek series. How many Christians realize that heaven is a 1500 mile cube city, or that violence and horror occurs from there, and that its inhabitants have little freedom of expression?

The source of my interpretation comes not from me but from the Bible and from one of the worlds best-known scholars and an authority on the New Testament: Bruce M. Metzger. He has taught for many years at Princeton Theological Seminary, the author of over 35 books and the Chairman of the NRSV Translation Committee. My only contribution is the comparison of the descriptions of heaven with the Borg from the Star Trek series.

To read about how Heaven is actually described, and how it's much akin to a Borg Cube, CLICK HERE.

 

[Danalys]

so locutus is jesus then.

 

[Kable24]

Guess I won't know until I get there.

 

[maxwell's demon]

this is most interesting.

i guess heaven has a set population then? maximum occupancy?

 

[Amazing Spidey]

wierd and interesting

i always pictured heaven in the clouds like in the movies

but thats wierd

 

[The Question]

Wow. That sucks. Their Heaven is what I imagine my Hell to be like. I guess I'll try....not to die, or something .



But seriously, Mark Twain always said that if you want to meet the interesting people, you go to hell. And, as Billy Joel said: "They say there's a Heaven for those who wait. Some say it's better, but I say it ain't. I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinnsers have much more fun. Darling, only the good die young."

 

[Zenien]

Bumped for great justice! Do not be decieved! The line must be drawn HERE, this far, no farther!

 

[NyteWing]

Sheep go to heaven

Goats...... go to hell

 

[Carter]

If there was a heaven, I don't really think it would have any limits.

 

[BAH HUMBBUG!]

I would rather go to hell anyway, I can't stand the cold.

 

[Grimm Reaper]

So you say don't go to Heaven? Sure, whatever you say, toots.

 

[BAH HUMBBUG!]

So you say don't go to Heaven? Sure, whatever you say, toots.

There is no such place as hell. The bible doesn't even talk about hell.

 

[Grimm Reaper]

Yes it does, somewhere in its thousands of pages. I'm sure I saw a passage once while browsing through it after finding one in a church bathroom porta-potty.

 

[BAH HUMBBUG!]

Yes it does, somewhere in its thousands of pages. I'm sure I saw a passage once while browsing through it after finding one in a church bathroom porta-potty.

No, the word Hell is NOT in the christian judeo (sp) bible. It references to a place called sheol (not sure about the spelling on that either), which is NOT a place of fire and burning and suffering and a hoofed foot being with horns and a tail.

90% sure.

 

[Grimm Reaper]

Every word ever is in the bible. Including a dictionary of every word and sound said, mumbled and yelled throughout forever.

Okay, I'm talking out of my ass. I haven't really read the bible and the little I know has seeped into my brain while I was sleeping during mass.

 

[BAH HUMBBUG!]

Every word ever is in the bible. Including a dictionary of every word and sound said, mumbled and yelled throughout forever.

Okay, I'm talking out of my ass. I haven't really read the bible and the little I know has seeped into my brain while I was sleeping during mass.

I'm not christian anyway, I just know that hell is not mentioned in the bible. besides I don't think Lu is such a bad guy. I mean God created us not him, so why does he always have to take the heat for God's mistake?

 

[Grimm Reaper]

God is so two-faced. Now I am sure God is female. Uh oh, I'm a sexist! Come and punish me women.

 

[BAH HUMBBUG!]

God is so two-faced. Now I am sure God is female. Uh oh, I'm a sexist! Come and punish me women.

Now I know why men die sooner, God hates us.

 

[MaskedManJRK]

so locutus is jesus then.

I always knew that Patrick Stewart was God, but...

 

[Batty for Bats!]

I've known this little tid bit since I was 12. C'mon people, you guys are so like... yesterday.

 

[Orko Is King]

I had to read that before sleeping. Now I'll have nightmares of eye monsters.

 

[Liquid Snake]

Wow. That sucks. Their Heaven is what I imagine my Hell to be like. I guess I'll try....not to die, or something .



But seriously, Mark Twain always said that if you want to meet the interesting people, you go to hell. And, as Billy Joel said: "They say there's a Heaven for those who wait. Some say it's better, but I say it ain't. I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinnsers have much more fun. Darling, only the good die young."

Actually nietzsche said that, "All the interesing people are missing in heaven"

 

[Spider-Who?]

I'm not christian anyway, I just know that hell is not mentioned in the bible. besides I don't think Lu is such a bad guy. I mean God created us not him, so why does he always have to take the heat for God's mistake?

have you ever even OPENED a bible?!

In the New Testament ALONE, there are more than 162 scriptures warning of hell (70 of these times where said by Jesus).

The Gospels ALONE actualy say the word hell 24 times.


We werent God's mistake. We were our own. God gave us free will - the ability to do whatever we want, and he simply asked for a little bit of restraint, maturity and faith; yet thanks to "Lou", we succombed to the "influence" of our now "Human Nature". It wasnt God's fault we missed up. Our burden, that two letter word we use so often to describe sinful things we do or say, is our fault. But considering if Lou hadnt dropped by, we wouldnt have been kicked out of Eden. You see, Lou is the mean kid who starts avalanches at ski resorts. THATS why Lou is such a "bad guy". So Lou still "takes the heat", but dont forget, blame for our sins still rests on our shoulders, unless you are repenatent.

And none of the "stats" as it were, even bother to include the number of times Hell is mentioned or stated in the Old Testament, when God was..."angerier".


Acts 2:29-31: "...let me freely speak unto you of the patriarch David, that he is both dead and buried...Therefore being a prophet, and knowing that God had sworn with an oath to him, that of the fruit of his loins, according to the flesh, he would raise up Christ to sit on his throne; He seeing this before spake of the resurrection of Christ, that his soul was not left in HELL, neither his flesh did see corruption."

- just one of many. next time, try opening a book before trying to tell us what it says.

 

[Uncanny Orb]

How many square cubits is that?

 

[C.F. Kane]

...and I bet you can't get a decent drink there either