This one was crazy. They say dreams only last like 5-20 minutes in real time, but this one sure didn't feel like it. You know those dumb movies Garry Marshalls been making lately with the huge ensemble casts? I had a dream of one that was a totally bonkers action movie with flecks of comedy.
It starts on the road. Im in the car with my family at first, but somehow end up dropping them somewhere while I drive the car myself. Im driving along a stretch of dirt road in an industrial part of town. Some ways up I see theres a pickup truck parked in the right lane facing me. I dont expect to have trouble avoiding it, but then another truck drives up behind me. I get in the right lane to let him pass. He passes, but then another car (driven by Greg Grunberg) drives up beside me boxing me in. As the parked truck approaches fast, I do something to the steering wheel that causes my car to roll up on top of the parked truck, slide off the side, and land flat, leaving myself and both vehicles unharmed. I thought that was pretty awesome, so I get out of the car to inspect the damage when I see a semi drive in from the opposite direction, and its driven by Gabourey Sidibe in a Darth Vader costume. I found this pretty alarming (being dressed as Vader meant shes up to no good I guess), so I jump on the side of the semi to try to stop her, but she shakes me off.
Somehow the action shifts back to a very large mansion where me and a bunc of other people wait. Then an army of bad guys with guns take us all hostage. The leader is
I dont remember now, Peter Stormare or someone like that. The guys refuse to tell us who they are, what theyre after, or how the rest of us are even involved, but they toss out several decks of cards so we can play card games while we wait. I somehow slip away (apparently their security is pretty lax) and search the rest of the mansion. Along the way I come across Teri Hatcher, Claudia Schiffer, and some other 50-something actress whos name my in-dream self couldnt recall (but had seen somewhere). The three of those ladies were stalking through the house knocking out passing bad guys with crowbars or pipes. I left them to it while I rejoined the other hostages.
At some point we were moved to the mansions foyer, where several more bad guys showed up. One of them was Kristen Bell, and she quickly pointed a gun at me and asked me if I liked, I dont know, strawberry Special K or something. I said yeah to avoid getting shot, and she quickly lowered her gun.
Somehow from there the action shifts to a mall. I pass by Teri, Claudia, and whats-her-name and chat with them for a bit about what movies Id seen them in. We parted ways, and as I was on a staircase, I saw several alarming things: a line of people in red shirts lining up at an elevator (including my brother) and another line of people in blue shirts lining up at another elevator. Before I realize it, more bad guys roll in with guns (theyre in three groups now, each with themed uniforms like the gangs in 'The Warriors' or something) and take us all hostage. Kristen Bell shows up again to ream me for selecting the strawberry thing just because shed asked me at gunpoint. As I look around, I realize that her earlier question was just part of some scheme to break us up into three groups, and now they have control of the entire mall.
Still on the staircase with many hostages and a few gunmen, I try to strike up a conversation with Bell. She gets pissy at first, but then proceeds to perform a Busta Rymes rap for some reason. Then we all get 3D glasses to watch some Claymation movie. I keep my 3D glasses on low so I can keep my attention on all the bad guys without getting distracted by the 3D show, but its tricky.
Somehow the mall situation gets resolved and Im bummed that I didnt get to see it. My brother and I are at, like, the after party where all the former hostages mingle. Jared Padelecki and Jensen Ackles are in one room shooting photos. Rosario Dawson was among the mingling hostage people. Im relieved that I finally get to tell the awesome story about driving over that truck that started this whole day, and proceed to do so.
besides my thread is more active.
uts on freud glasses:: vell itz obwiously und phallic symbol.
