Flamer: the Series

[Abaddon]

Dorian Gray: Give us the coins.
Jaguarr: Or else we’ll kill you
-jag
Matt: Well,we sort of assumed that, with the gun-pointing and all.
Dorian Gray: Just hand it over.
Bored: Free us from the leopards skin,and we’ll loose the demons from within!
Mongo: Wtf?
Illchill: That dudes straight buggin’,yo.
Twylight: We don’t have the darn coins.
Dorian Gray: Search them.

Mongo and Jaguarr walk over to them,and begin patting them down

Twylight: Hey,watch your hands there!
Matt: Does this count as fondling,cause I feel dirty.
Bored: Stay out of my raccoons nest,you chicken wire’s excrement.
Mongo: They got nothing.
Dorian Gray: Blasts!The Flamer must have it. And I can't stop saying that without feeling like I'm using it as epithet.

Meanwhile just a few yards away,having forgotten to give the others the keys Fray,Gunny.Logan and LL were making their way to the parking lot,leaving Sable behind to flirt with the custodian

Larrylegend: Boy,youre really off it today.
Fray: Its damn Bison.Why did he have to get involved?And how did he even know about this?
Larrylegend: He probably heard it through the supervillain grapevine.
Logan: Could be.His connections run deep in the spammer underworld.
Gunblade: Is it just me,or does it sound like somebody’s being held at gunpoint?

They all stop and look around,and LL catches a glimpse of Twy struggling with an abductor

Larrylegend: Over there!




Dorian Gray: Lets just take them. Akhenset will figure out what to do with them

Just as they seize the three,Fray speeds up behind them,riding on LL’s hoverchair.As LL slows down she leaps off the chair and tackles Mongo,and Trilogors.LL,then rams his chair into Dorian,knocking him on his ass,Logan pops up and begins pummeling Dorian.Bored: leaps at the fallen Mongo and ferociously bites his nose.Twy joins in the fray(no pun intended.) and stomps on Jaguarr foot,then starts elbowing the hell out of him.Gunny catches up,holding a fire extinguisher and begins spraying Illchill with the white foam.In the meantime LL scoops up all the weapons on the floor

Illchill: Hey!!Its going bananas in here,yo!AHH!!
Dorian Gray: ENOUGH!ENOUGH!
Mongo: GET HIM THE **** OFF ME!!!!!!!


Fray and the others stop,and Matt pulls Bored off Mongo.

Bored: My milkshake is better than yours. *licks blood off lips*
Mongo: *holds his mangled nose* look what he did to my beautiful face!!
Fray: I’d say it’s an improvement.
Matt: They thought we had the coins.
Fray : of course they did.

 

[Abaddon]

Dorian Gray: The sword was meant for us to find it and no one else.
Trilogors: Yeah,except for that bit in the prophecy about the Flamer finding the sword.
Dorian Gray: Shut up, you!
Fray: Look,I think there’s a way to solve both our problems.
Dorian Gray: meaning?
Fray: You want to three coins in order to find the sword and do whatever the hell you need to do with it so that you can resurrect a mod.We want to stop you from resurrecting the mod,but we only have two coins.The other coin is held by Bison….
Dorian Gray: So…
Fray: we work together…
Dorian Gray: Temporarily…
Fray: To get Bison out of the way.
Dorian Gray: Then we’ll settle our business without any interference.
Trilogors: How do we do that?
Fray: We’ll set up a meeting at the location of the sword.
Dorian Gray: Sounds like an invitation to disaster.
Jaguarr: And we’d be better off letting Bison win and taking it back from him.
Logan: He’d destroy you, twice as easily as we did just now.
Fray: You can’t take on Shadaloo.
Dorian Gray: And you think you can?
Fray: We’ve got experience on our side.
Dorian Gray: This is not to my liking.
Fray: You don’t have much of choice here.
Dorian Gray: ….fair enough. Call it a deal.
Fray: Good. And if you try and cross us, I promise you will never see your precious sword.
Dorian Gray: wouldn't dream of it.

 

[Abaddon]

Hype High School Library
The Archies and Sable enter the room and find a large brick with a paper attached to it, sitting on the table.Fray walks over and removes the paper.

Matt: So I’m guessing that’s either from one of our many enemies,or your secret admirer’s a bricklayer.
Logan: You have that based on prima facie?
Fray: “Give us teh coins or we shll kill your fried.” Yup,that’s Bison,misspellings and all.

Fray handed the note to Logan who looked down at the crude stick-figure drawing of Daisy at the bottom

Silver Sable: Why does he want the coins anyway?Aside from beings keys to opening the gateway leading to the sword,theyre useless.Shiny,but useless.
Fray: Well,you have to understand somehing.Bison’s an idiot.
Twylight: So what do we do?
Fray: Someone get a phonebook.I need to speak to Bison personally.
Logan: You sure you know what youre doing?
Fray: I’m pretty sure I don’t,but if this works you owe me a coke.
Logan: And if it doesn’t?
Fray: I’ll make sure no one comes out of this on top.
Gunblade: ominous much?
Fray: Just get your stuff ready.Things are gonna get ugly.


Some time later
Shadaloo arrives at the site of a stone platform that stretches wide across a large portion of the desert.

: So this is the place?
Elijya: Guess so.

: Well get your weapons ready.The Flamer should be here any minute.
Elijya: Right.

: And where’s the hostage?

Hyper Venom and Jollyjohnny come out from behind the van holding Daisy.

Hyper Venom: Right here.
Daisy: Where are we?

: Beats me.The Flamer gave us the directions here.I’m not even sure this is the right place.
Elijya: It looks like we’re somewhere in the Spidey forums

: Where the hell is she?

 

[Abaddon]

Behind a nearby dune,Fray and the others prepare to make the trade.

Silver Sable: I have a bad feeling about this.
Fray: Just relax.Everything should go as planned.
Matt: I’m still not exactly sure what that plan is.
Fray: You don’t need to.Where did you get that trenchcoat?
Matt: Yellow Rat Bastard.
Fray: You do realize we’re in a desert?
Matt: I wanted to look cool.
Gunblade: Heads up.

Gunny gestures up ahead where the Order of Set pulls up on ATV’s

Dorian Gray: *slows to a stop* Flamer.
Fray: jackass.
Dorian Gray: You ready to do this?
Fray: I’m ready.Just make sure you show up after we make the trade.
Dorian Gray: Right,because any time before and your friend will be killed.
Fray: …
Dorian Gray: Just clarifying for anyone who wasn’t anywhere.
Larrylegend: Thanks,now take a hike.
Dorian Gray: We’ll be over by the mesa.Good luck.

They pull off away from the group


Matt: Anyone else feel a chill?
Logan: Well at least they were incredibly sincere.
Fray: I’m not worried about them.
Twylight: But you know we can’t trust them.
Fray: I know.
Twylight: Than why are we making deals with people who are willing to betray us at the drop of hat?
Fray: Because they need us.
Logan: That won’t stop them from using us to get what they want.
Fray: Actually that’s what I’m counting on.You all brought weapons right?
Twylight: I brought a club
Gunblade: I brought a switchblade and a flare gun
Silver Sable: I have a Taser.
Matt: And I have my Ultra Omega Gamma Gamestation 360.
Fray: So you can do what,entertain them to death?
Matt: I happen to have overheated several of the cartridges which should explode on impact.
Fray: Whatever.Everyone else good weapons-wise?
Larrylegend: My chair will do fine
Logan: I am a weapon.
Fray: Then lets move out.

The gang make their around the dune,towards the platform Shadaloo impatiently awaits.

 

[Abaddon]

Cyclops: looks like theyre here.

: Its about damn time. *looks to Daisy* Bet you were starting to wonder if your friends really valued your life.

Daisy: Not at all.

: Yeah,sure.Elijya,do you see the coins anywhere?

Elijya: Not in sight,boss.

: Well she better not be pulling another trick.

Hyper Venom: Not unless she’s stupid.

: Hm…I wonder how much money this stupid sword everyone’s after is worth.I’m getting erect just thinking about it.

Daisy: I wish youd kept that to yourself.

: Quiet woman.Youre killing my buzz.Argh,theyre here.Make sure to aim the gun at her head.


The Archies approach just as Hyper Venom raises his gun to Daisy’s head

: Ah,you’ve finally arrived!

Fray: No need for pleasantries,Bison.

: Good, then have you got the stuff?

 

[Abaddon]

Fray: *opens a pouch on her waist* Right here. *pulls out the two shiny coins* Now let Daisy go.

: Give us the coins first.

Fray: No.

: Don’t play games with me.

Fray: We’ll trade at the same time.

: Fine.Do it.


Hyper Venom walks towards the Archies,still holding the gun to Daisy’s head,and Fray hesitantly stretches out her hand.Bison snatches the coins and Venom tosses Daisy over to the others.

Twylight: Are you alright?

Daisy: I think my IQ level mightve dropped while listening to Bison rant,but aside from that I’m fine.

: Well, that went off without a hitch.Are you sure there’s no other coins?

Silver Sable: Those are only ones needed.

Elijya: I think she’s right.

: Excellent,now kill them.


Shadagoons raise their weapons at the Archies,when theyre interrupted by the sounds of motor vehicles approaching.

Jollyjohnny: Sounds like we like have uninvited guest.

Cyclops: It was a trap

: Why,you little b****.

 

[Abaddon]

Dorian,Jaguarr,Mongo,and Triligors come down on the group from different directions

Dorian Gray: Stop right there.

Cyclops: We werent exactly moving, dickless.

Illchill: ****,yo.Youse about to get dropped by a sack of nuts at puberty.

Fray: Eww

Larrylegend: Awful analogy.

Elijya: I’ll say

Dorian Gray: Enough!Now hand over the coins.

:That aint gonna happen.

Illchill: You best to stand down,homeslice.

Fray: Now,now.Before you boys start getting violent,I propose another deal.

Logan: uh,Fray what are you doing?

Jaguarr: What are you talking about?

Fray: First things first.Sable,show us the entrance.

Silver Sable: okay,just stand back.*steps forward*


The others move off the platform,but Bison remains standing on it.She begins chanting ritualistically while doing the electric slide.

: Is this some kind of joke,Flamer?

Fray: No….I don’t think.


Sable finishes off with a shuffle and slams her foot down on the ground three times.Bison and his Shadaloo companions begin laughing histerically

: BWHAAhA!!!!HOW LAME WAS THAT?!!


Sable steps off the platform as the ground begins rumbling violently.Bison continues laughing,but sensing danger,Elijya and Hyper Venom drag him off.Just then a tremendous structure rose from the platform,high into the air.It was an old tattered thread, a remnant of the Organics Wars now in ruins.A site of many flame wars and debates,closed and buried in the deep recesses of the Spidey forums for no man to behold again.It was an awesome sight to behold,and Bison began to mouth the only words that could sum of the collective reaction to what stood before them

: Holy *****!

 

[Abaddon]

Dorian Gray: This is it.This is what we’ve been waiting for.

Fray: We all want the same thing.Now Bison,you can have the coins after we’re able to open the entrance where the sword is hidden.Once we’re inside,we will be on our own and the Sword will belong to whomever is able to take it out of here alive.Is that a deal?

: Hmm…hold on a sec.


Shadaloo converges in a huddle and begin discussing the idea


Fray: *looks to Dorian* What about you?

Dorian Gray: Deal.

Mongo: Uh,is that a good idea Lord Gray?

Dorian Gray: *turns and whispers*the text states that the Sword is guarded by lurkers and a great beast.While those idiots are busy dealing with them,we’ll be able to get the sword and escape before they even realize it.


Shadaloo breaks out of the huddle and Bison steps forward

: We’ll agree on one condition.

Fray: What is it?

: You’ll give us a head start.

Fray: *thinks for a moment* ……done.

: Sweet!


They all gather and approach the large seal covering the entrance.

Fray: Bison,the coins.

Bison hands them over to Fray who then gives them to Sable


Elijya: So how does this thing open.

Silver Sable: It should be pretty simple.

Trilogors: As long as it doesnt involve you doing any Elaine-quality dancing.

Silver Sable: !


Sable steps up to the seal and begins feeling around it.She moves to the side and finds a rod.She pulls it and a small door opens above it revealing a dusty device that looks like a slot machine.Along the side,near the slot,there were large bold letters imprinted in an indiscernible language:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||//////\\\\\/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/\\\\\/\\/\/\\/\\/\\\/\/\///\\/\/\/\//\/\\\/\>}}}}}}}}}}}}}|>>>>>>>>>>>||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
-==0==-=-=-==-==\\\||||//////*&7%##@

Cyclops: What the hell does that mean?

Silver Sable: Insert here.


Sable inserted the three coins and pulled the lever.Immediately various images began quickly rolling in succession,in the three adjacent windows as they all waited in anticipation.


Larrylegend: Come,on.Big money,Big money,Big money!


The rolling images slowed to a halt each stopping on a Spidey icon.After a few seconds the seal opened and the entrance doors flung open.


Fray: Here we go.

 

[Abaddon]

: Out the way,b**ches.


Bison stomps into the thread with his lackeys following close behind.The look around the dark empty place with curious eyes and find themselves in a large hall.The sounds of shouting matches still faintly echoed throughout the place along with the words Man-spider.They stepped in further and the other groups followed behind them.

: Where the hell is everybody?

Elijya: Probably bailed after the thread was closed.The place is desolate.

Silver Sable: It isnt.

Elijya: eh?

Silver Sable: There are others here.We just can’t see them.

Cyclops: They here to guard this sword thing?

Silver Sable: Some do.Some don’t.It’s a matter of choice for them.But mostly they won’t try and harm us.Annoy us,but not harm us.

Mongo: Interesting

Jollyjohnny: Well its good to know we wont have to worry too much about them.

Cyclops: With no one guarding, this thing should be easier than we expected.

Silver Sable: Or but there is someone guarding…or something,rather.

Fray: What do you mean?

Silver Sable: There’s a beast.An oldbie who lurks this place.

Matt: I don’t understand.It seemed like this place was hidden pretty
damn well,who would even know to lurk here.

Silver Sable: *shrugs* Lots of old users.I don’t even think they realize what theyre doing once they get here.

Twylight: That doesn’t sound like a good thing.

Logan: We should spread out.Search the perimeter.

Dorian Gray: good idea.


The groups divide their respective members and scatter about the area,but remain a close distance to the center of the hall.


Daisy: This feels eerie and oddly familiar.

Larrylegend: Lots of fighting took place here.The place reeks of death and delusion.

Daisy: I’m just hoping nobody pops up out at us.

Larrylegend: This place is deserted,and the only person I could think of at the moment who would lurk this place was killed a few weeks ago.

Daisy: Bakerboy.

Larrylegend: That’s the one.

Daisy: Are you sure he’s dead?We didn’t even see a body.

Larrylegend: He aint coming back.I’m damn sure of that.

Daisy: You’ve been damn sure of a lot things,Larry.I wouldn’t place any bets.

Larrylegend: Ah,come on now.I slayed the dragon,there’s nothing to worry about.

Daisy: Wait…how did he come back?

Larrylegend: What do you mean?

Daisy: I just remembered,he was supposed to be banned.How did he come back?It doesn’t make sense.

Larrylegend: Well maybe he wasn’t banned.

Daisy: No,he was.Him and someone else…I can’t remember the name.

Larrylegend: I think youre right.Its weird,I just remembered that.

Daisy: How could we forget?

Larrylegend: Memory lapse?

Daisy: You don’t think its odd that we wouldn’t remember something so significant?

Larrylegend: I think its odd that there’s an elevator on its way down,when this place is supposed to be empty.


Daisy turns to look up at the elevator and see’s a light descending along the line of numbers eventually coming to a halt at 1 with the sound of a chime.Everyone in the room turns and waits with anticipation.The doors open and a stream of blood spills out of the car,inundating the floor.


Matt: That’s a little cliché.

Hyper Venom: Really?I didn’t see that one coming.

Twylight: This is gross.I’m glad I wore boots.

Gunblade: I didn’t.Do we get compensated for this type of thing.

Fray: No.

Gunblade: This job sucks.

Fray: No kidding.

Gunblade: Now I have to walk around with my ankles soaked in blood.

Fray: well next time we go on a trip to a desert to search for an ancient weapon buried beneath the sands,make sure to bring Timberlands

 

[Abaddon]

The lights abruptly turn on, illuminating the area around them. On a wall adjacent to them they see a carved symbol that appears as three curved lines connecting to a circle.

Gunblade: What is that?

Silver Sable: I don’t know….I’ve never seen it before.

Dorian Gray: It looks familiar.

Daisy: it’s a triskele.

Larrylegend: Gesundheit

Daisy: no,that’s what its called.A triskele,or triskelion.Three lines radiating around a common center.

: Is it supposed to mean something?A sign of some sort?

Daisy: I don’t know.But I get the feeling something else here is.

Dorian Gray: That being?

Daisy: *points* The statue holding the sign that says “This way”.


They looked over and saw the effigy of Spider-man holding a cardboard sign with an arrow on it and the words “this way”.Fray began move in the direction when she was brusque pushed aside by Bison.

: head start remember?

Fray: Right…jerk.


Shadaloo heads down the narrow hallway the sign pointed to,and both The Order and the Archies kept close behind them.


Twylight: I have a very bad feeling about this.

Fray: This isn’t the first time we’ve walked into danger,we’ll be alright.

Twylight: That isnt very comforting.

Fray: Then pretend it is.We can’t show these guys we’re anxious.Look at Sable,she’s relaxed.

Twylight: That’s because you slipped her a Valium.

Silver Sable: Slipped me a what?

Fray: nothing.

Silver Sable: Okay.

Daisy: Fray,we’re going to need to have a talk about you using psychotropic drugs to manipulate peoples emotions.

Fray: I got it from your purse.

Daisy: That’s not an excuse.

Fray: Its pretty close to one.

Daisy: Fair enough.Just don’t go snooping in my purse anymore.

Fray: You had one earlier,didn’t you?

Daisy: Just two or three.

Illchill: *pulls off his headphones* Quiet down,yo.I can’t get jiggy to fitty,with youse wangstahs talking a blue streak like Martin Lawrence,yo.

Larrylegend: Somebody translate.

Matt: I think he wants us to keep it down because of something involving
blue streaks on his wang.

Larrylegend: Ah,gotcha.

Fray: Why are you even listening to music right now?

Illchill: I gots to get my groove on before bust a move on you
suckas.Kna’ mean?

Fray: Surprisingly yes. Unsurprisingly, still stupid.

Illchill: Pfft,you just playa hatin’ cuz you can’t any of this hotness.

Fray: I think I just mentally vomited.

Illchill: Ha,don’t play yo’self.You know yu want to get in the Chill Zone.

Fray: would the deal be off if I started punching you now?

Dorian Gray: Illchill!Stop lagging behind.Shut your mouth and keep moving.

Gunblade: Ownd!

Illchill: Whatever,my man Dorian’s just keepin’ it real.Besides,I’m real dog on this team.

Fray: Can’t argue there.

Illchill: Fo realz.

Dorian Gray: ILLCHILL!

Illchil: comin’ yo!


Illchill picked up pace and caught up with brethren,gleefully spouting off some nonsensical jargon about being busy pwning the others.Nobody knew why Illchill talked the way he did.Reginald Cornelius P. Chillsworth III, was born into a wealthy family that owned a great deal of property in the Misc Tv Forum.He attended some of the best schools in Hype,and was even planning on becoming an English professor,who would be able to help educate the grammatically challenged newbs of the board.At some point in his young life he went through a rebellious phase,and began hanging out in slums and tattoo parlors.It was there that the transformation into the scoundrel known as Illchill was completed.He soon joined the vicious band of evil Mod-worshipping thugs known as The Order of Set who made it their sole purpose to bring back the detestable Mod,Erik Magnus Lensherr.

 

[Abaddon]

: Geez,how long is this damn thing?!

Cyclops: I’ve been asking myself that for the last few hours.

: I was talking about this hallway.

Elijya: It looks like there’s some light up ahead.


They move a bit further and find themselves at the base of a set of stairs spiraling downward.

: aww crap.

Fray: Relax its only one flight.

Daisy: Yeah,keep it moving.I’m getting a claustrophobic back here.


They march down the steps and enter out into catacombs.As Bison moves out toward a ledge he trips and nearly falls over a giant carrot.

: alright whose the prankster?!!

Elijya: I don’t see anyone here,boss.

: Then fan out and search for intruders.

Cyclops: Technically, we are the intruders

:Yeah,well I’m about to intrude my foot up somebody’s ass.Now fan out and see if anyones here.

Jaguarr: We should do the same.
-jag

Logan: *looks to Fray*

Fray: Fine.*sighs* Go, fan.

 

[Abaddon]

The groups disperse and scatter about the area.Just a few feet from the stairs, Dorian,Trilogors, and Illchill enter a great chamber.Suspicious, Logan follows the three and is turn followed by Bison,Matt,and Elijya.They stumble through the darkness hoping to discover the sword laying around but instead find themselves in a dead-end.


Trilogors: Well this was a waste of time.

Dorian Gray: Confusion tactics left to lead astray.Thousands of possible entrances in these catacombs,and they all lead nowhere.We’ll be wandering about for days before we ever find where the sword is hidden.

Illchill: Chillax,yo.Dis place is da bomb.

Dorian Gray: Then you can stay here.

Illchill: That’s not what I meant dog.You gotta keep your head in da game,yo.Alls we gots to do is knock down a few walls and tear dis place up!

Logan: Right,that’s a brilliant idea.Just destroy everything in sight and have this whole place come crashing down on you.Dim-witted plebian.

Illchill: Pfft,you trippin’.Aint nothin’ here gonna bring down the Chill Factor.


Illchill leans against the dark wall only to find its actually quite soft.

Illchill: Hey,dogs.Feel this.Its like a soft fluffy pillow,yo.

Logan: Maybe that’s just your head youre feeling.


Dorian grabs Illchill by the arm and moves to pull him off the wall,and finds that the wall has moved.He cautiously touches and feels the same fluffiness Illchill did.


Dorian Gray: He’s right.It is soft….and warm.

Logan: *sniffs* And alive.

Dorian Gray: What?

Elijya: Theyre just trying to scare us off cause they found something.

: Yeah,a living wall?Come on.Youre going to have to do better than that.


The wall moves out toward the flicker of light from the torces on the wall.The men stand back as they see a face coming out of the shadow.It opens its bright-red eyes and snarls.The realize then that it was no wall at the end of this chamber,but a huge, ferocious bunny rabbit.

: Elijya,did you pack mushrooms in my lunch today?

Elijya: No,sir.I only added the fresh pickles like you asked.

: Oh.So we’re actually standing in front of a giant rabbit?

Elijya: Yup.

: I see…..

 

[Abaddon]

It leaped out them,but they all managed to escape the grasps of its adorable,but deadly big paws.They made a break for the exit,and with one giant leap were cut off by the creature who now blocked their only escape route.The impact of the landing threw them off balance,and they cowered in fear.


Trilogors: That’s one big f***king bunny.

Illchill: Fo shizzle.

:
Elijya,hold my crotch so I don’t wet myself.

Elijya: I don’t think so.

: When will you learn to be a man?!

Dorian Gray: Just shut up,he’s staring at us.

Matt: His eyes are freaking me out.

Trilogors: Who knows what he’s thinking.

Logan: *SNIKT!* Lets not find out.


cut to the other groups.
Fray,Daisy, and Twylight found themselves in another chamber nearby.In it they find an assortment of gigantic toys and a pair of enormous Spongebob slippers.


Fray: who could fit into those?

Daisy: Maybe you should try them on.

Fray: Yeah,as soon as I grow big lizard feet.

Daisy: No,but maybe there’s some secret spell that requires someone to put on those slippers so they can escape.

Twylight: You mean a Dorothy/Alice in Wonderland type dealy?

Daisy: it couldn’t hurt.


Fray climbs up onto to one of the slippers and walks over to try and touch both at the same time.She reaches the other one and places her foot on it.

Fray: I don’t think its working.

Daisy: then we should probably panic,because there’s a good chance we could be trapped in here forever.

Twylight: Valium wearing off?

Daisy: Just a bit.Its ok though,I got backup.


Daisy reaches into her bra and pulls out a small bottle of vodka.Daisy opens it and drinks deep


Daisy: Ahh,how could I go a day without you,my precious.

Twylight: …….

Fray: guys,I think I see something.

Twylight: Will it require more walking?


Fray climbs on top of the Spongebob emblem on the slipper and sees a large poll of water down ahead.Looking further she can faintly see a bridge.


Fray: Unfortunately.

Twylight: Flower.

 

[Abaddon]

Meanwhile,….

Matt: what do we do?

Elijya: we could try and calm it down.Be gentle.

Trilogors: Its f**king huge!

Elijya: it’s still a bunny.He probably just wants his carrot or something.

Dorian Gray: He could be right,you should go pacify him.

Trilogors: ME?WHY ME??!

Dorian Gray: shh,not so loud.His ears are sensitive.

Trilogors: I’m not going near that thing.

Matt: he’s not going to eat you.Rabbits are herbivores.

Illchill: Yeah,he a straight herb yo.

Trilogors: *gulps* Alright


Trilogors calmly walks over to the beast and gently pets it


Trilogors: there,there big guy.No ones here to hurt you.


The animal nudges his arm and begins sniffing him.The others stare in watch trying to hold back “awww“ expressions.


Elijya: I think its working.

Trilogors: hehheh.That tickles.


The buny sniffs his head and after getting a good whiff promptly opens his mouth and clamps down on it.


Trilogors: AHHHHH!!!!!WTF?!!!!!!!!!


The bunny bites down hard,decapitating Trilogors and bgins trying to chew through his skull in hopes of reaching his delicious brain juices.Intending to feast on the rest of the corpse,it kept its paw on the body,staring at the others with its merciless red eyes.The men watched in shocked as Trilogors blood-curdling screams died down


Elijya:

Matt:

Logan:

: …..


The group lets out piercing screams like those many women they made fun of in horror movies and run like the hell.

 

[Abaddon]

Fray,Daisy,and Twy run out of the chamber and meet up with some of the others outside

Larrylegend: We heard your girlish screams,what happened?

Twylight: It wasn’t us.

Fray: It came from the other direction.


They dash over to the opposite chamber and catch sight of the large shadowed rabbit.

Jaguarr: the hell is that?
-Jag

Silver Sable: It must be the beast that guards the sword.



Further down the chamber,the men hid behind the various coffins laying about.The rabbit hops toward them,sniffing for them.


Logan: NOW!!


They all spring out with their weapons hoping to take the creature by surprise.The ferocious beast rears up,and prepares to pounce on them.They each attack the bunny: Bison with his power moves,Elijya with his spamray, Dorian with his sword,Illchill with a crossbow,Logan with his claws,and Matt with a game cartridges.The animal is overwhelmed for a moment and they quickly seize the opportunity and run past it


Gunblade: There they are!


The group flies past the others.

Gunblade: There they went!

Matt: Keep moving!!


The other stand stunned for a moment before finally seeing the furiours,furry beast hopping menacingly toward them.They swiftly rush out of the chamber.


Hyper Venom: Oh,God.This is karma for me killing those bunnies when I was four.I’m sorry,I didn’t know their necks snapped so easily.

Elijya: *Slaps him* Pull yourself together man!

Twylight: What do we do?

Larrylegend: Call Elmer Fudd?

Fray: I wish I’d brought a gun.A really big gun.

Twylight: Its jus a bunny though,right.It wont hurt us.

Larrylegend: The hell it wont.Haven’t you seen those cheesy 50’s movies?All big mutant animals are man-eaters.

Twylight: But he looks so cute.

Fray: Sable,can’t you control him or something?Tell him to back down.

Silver Sable: Do I look like the Beastmaster?

Gunblade: Can’t you flame him or something?

Fray: Maybe,but then PETA will be all over me.

: Where the hell are we going?!

Fray: Head over there *points* Past the giant slippers.

 

[Abaddon]

They rabbit continues to chase after them and the group runs into the other chamber.

: Is it dead yet?

Daisy: No.

: well somebody better kill it.

Dorian Gray: illchill,where’s that hand grenade I gave you?

Illchill: *whips it out* Right here,yo.We saved!

Dorian Gray: Well,use it imbecile!

Illchill: Oh,right.


Illchill performs a quick prayer and pulls out the pin.The rabbit charges for the chamber and Illchill flings the holy hand grenade at the creature who catches it in his mouth.Seconds later the creature explodes in an eruption of blood and white fur.

Gunblade: wow.

Matt: its almost like snow.Bloody snow.

Twylight: Poor bunny.

Matt: He tried to kill us!

Twylight: he was just misunderstood.

Dorian Gray: There was no misunderstanding when he ate Trilogors.

Twylight: he was hungry.Poor lonely rabbit living here in these dank old catacombs. *sits on a coffin* Hey,whas this?

Silver Sable: it’s a coffin.Its probably where they put some of the bodies of those who died during the Organics Wars

Twylight: eww..


Twy tries to leap off but finds her jeans have caught onto the curved part of the latch.She struggles to free herself and Gunny walks over to help.They pull hard until the latch is unlocked and the coffin springs open revealing various types of fireworks within.

Gunblade: well those definitely arent bodies.

Silver Sable: We need to keep moving.

Matt: Why the rush?The Easter Bunny’s already went Kaboom.

Silver Sable: True,but the other guys just got a head start.


Sable points further down where Bison,and the rest of the Order have made their way toward the swamp-like lake.


Elijya: There’s a bridge on the other side,but the waters too deep to wade through.

: not to mention gross.Just prepare raft.


Hyper Venom pulls the inflatable raft from his back pocket and begins to blow it up


Cyclops: Looks like the Lamers crew is headed down here.

: Blow faster damnit!

 

[Abaddon]

The Archies march stone-faced towards their enemies, prepared for battle.


Dorian Gray: None of you bought any portable floating devices in your pants by any chance?

Jaguarr: Nope.

Mongo: Nay.

Illchill: No,yo.

Dorian Gray: Well then we’re just going to have to make some adjustments….


A short time later Fray and the others arrive to find the Order emptying
Some coffins,and Bison pulling off the shore as and a wheezing Hyper Venoms is thrown onto the raft

: Haha,better luck next time Lamer.

Cyclops: That was my joke.

: Yes,it certainly was.

Cyclops: *mutters* *****e

: You wanna say that a little louder,*****?I’ll kick you off this damn boat so fan it’ll snap your balls into your anus.

Silver Sable: What do we do?

Fray: We find a boat of our own.


Several minutes later the gang pushes one of the gigantic Spongebob slippers into the water.Nearby the Order had already set sail on a raft made out of coffins.The large slip dips into the water and the Archies hop on. Gunny accidentally drops of a few fireworks into the drop prompting stares from the others


Gunblade: What?We might need them.

Fray: Yea,I’m sure fireworks will be invaluable in case of trouble.

Silver Sable: guys focus!

Fray: Right.Paddle like hell!


And so the gang paddled like hell with whatever they could find.Shadaloo was far in the lead,but the Order of Set was not far behind.Just then they began to notice large bubbles appearing the water.

: what the hell is that?

Hyper Venom: Looks like somethings in the water.

Jollyjohnny: An alive something.

: Don’t just stand there kill it.

 

[Abaddon]

They all break out their spam rays and begin firing into the water.After a minute or so,the bubbles cease.

: There that’s better.


Elijya: We’re almost reaching shore.


Suddenly the three groups begin swaying in the water.


Fray: What’s going on?

Gunblade: something in the water.

Logan: *looks into the water* My guess is something’s surfacing.

Twylight: What kind of something?

Daisy: My guess is something that owns a giant slipper.

Larrylegend: Shaq?

Matt: Bigfoot?

Fray: Carrot Top?

Silver Sable: No,something worse…something bigger.

Matt: Well at least this is more exciting then watching Surface.


A large shadowy shape ascends from the depths.The groups lean over trying to make out what it is.A whale?No.A giant squid?Nah.A big condom?Possibly.Soon an enormous reptile wearing a swimming cap emerges out of the water with a thunderous bellow.


Matt: Something tells me that’s the actual creature guarding the Sword

Gunblade: As if it wasn’t obvious enough..

Silver Sable: Yeah,I may have been wrong about the whole rabbit thing.Sorry.

Godzilla2000: ROAAAARRR!!!!!!
(Translation- “Who are you?Why do I smell burnt rabbit flesh?&#8221


the creature flicked its tail at Bison's raft knocking them all out of it.

: GAH!MAN OVERBOARD!!!MAN OVERBOARD!!!!!!

Cyclops: No kidding.

: SAVE ME!!!!

Jollyjohnny: You can't swim?

: NO!Well....I can doggy paddle.

Jollyjohnny: Then do that.

: And look completely gay?I think not.

Godzilla2000: ROOOAAARRR!!!!!!
(“What have you done to Mr.Fluffykins?!&#8221


Dorian reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out two Taco Bell gordita's which he then tosses to Mongo and Jaguarr


Dorian Gray: Mongo,Jaguarr its time to take evasive measures.

Jaguarr: Right.


Mongo and Jaguarr quickly eat the gorditas and then stick their butts in the water and begin farting,using the force to propel themselves away from danger


G2K picks her slipper out of the water with the crew onboard

Godzilla2000: ROOOAAARRR!!!!!!
(“What are you doing with my slipper?&#8221

Fray: Attack!!!!


The group begins hitting and firing various projectiles at the green beast.


G2K: RRROAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(“Hey,that’s mean.Cut it out!&#8221

 

[Kmack]

Awesome read Though I have a lot of catching up to do

 

[Holly Goodhead]

i forgot this existed. abaddon sent me a weird PM about Kipobe. thank you abaddon

 

[Abaddon]

Gunny hurls the fireworks onto the bridge of G2K’s mouth and then fires her flare gun at it setting them off in a dazzling spectacle of sparks and lights.The creature is blinded and tosses the slipper back into the water

G2K: ROOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(“Ahhh!!!!!!!!!My f**kin’ eyes!!!!&#8221


G2K splashes around trying to wash her eyes out,in the process knocking over the Order’s raft.

The gang begins paddling desperately,unexpetedly pushes along by the waves caused by the creature's splashing.Meanwhile the Order was just reaching shore and the Shadaloo crew was seen not far behind,carrying Bison on their shoulders

: Can't you move any faster?!

Hyper Venom: Well,youre kinda heavy,sir.

: Nonsense,I'm just a little big-boned!

Mongo: we have to hurry,or this story will never end.

Dorian Gray: Then keep moving damnit!


G2K stomps her way towards the group,and prepares to slam down on the Archies who manage to jump off the slipper/raft just as her foot comes down.They reach the bank and hurry there way after the others who have neared the base of the bridge


Fray: We have to keep moving!!


G2K takes a deep breath and shoots flames at the group who just barely avoid them.Twy,Daisy,and Matt try to make a break for it but are abrutly cut off from their comrades with the slam of a giant lizard foot between them.Twylight puts on a brave face and belts out a canary cry at the creature.


G2K: ROOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!
("Don't yell at me!")

Matt: Got anything else?

Twylight: Not really.

Matt: Daisy?

Daisy: To use the vernacular,we're screwed.And not in the good way.


LL turns to look back and sees the others predicament.


Larrylegend: Fray!

Fray: *turns* What?


She sees the others being stared down by the lizard and panics.Gunny and Sable stop and look back as well.


Fray: oh,crap! *looks to Gunny and Sable* Keep moving. Slow them down any way you can.


She runs back towards the others and into G2K's line of sight,who promptly whips her the hell away with her enormous tail


Twylight: Fray!!!


Desperate,Matt runs at the creature and jumps on its leg. Surprised he made it as high as he did, he begins punching and scratching, which only serves to annoy the creature. It raises its leg and tries to shake him off. Just as Matt is loosened it slams its foot down hard....on Daisy. The impact shook the ground violently knocking the group down. Not even a yelp could be heard as the others looked on in horror.

 

[Abaddon]

G2K lifts her foot and hush falls over them and they watch in shock,expecting to see the broken remains.Instead they find nothing.Was she crushed into powder,they wondered.They rose to their feet(except for LL who still hovered in silence) and slowly approached the giant footprint of the creature,almost oblivious to the fact that it was still standing before them.

On the other side,Gunny and Sable had reached the long,narrow bridge and were watching the misfits fight over the chance to get on first.Cyclops and JJ managed to start walking across while the others battled.


Silver Sable: We need to stop them.


Sable charges at the group and tasers the hell outta them


Illchill: AhH!****,yo.Where she coome from?

: AHH!AHH!AHHHHH!!QUIT SHOCKING MY ASS,B***H!!!!!ELIJYA!!!!!!


Cut back to the Archies.

As the gang peers into the footprint they cath sight of Daisy huddled on the ground in between the imprints of the lizards toes.


Daisy: is it over?

G2K: RRRROOOOOAARRRR!!!!!!!!!
("You pesky little people!")


Over by the bridge,a crazed Sable continued the tase at Bison and Illchill,completely unaware of the others who managed to slip away and were now making their way across the bridge.Dorian Gray,Mongo,and Jaguarr however were being held back by Gunny who had flashed her boobs in a desperate attempt to stop them.As she pull her shirt down,the hypnotic hold broke and they went for the bridge.


Gunblade: Crap,theyre getting away.Do something!

Silver Sable: This is for standing me up at the Spring fair!!!!*tases
Illchill* and this is for making fun of me in front of Bobby Dean when you I liked him, you mean ****!!!!*tasers Bisons testicles*

Gunblade: Uh,Sab.I know youre having fin getting all your angries out,but I think we have a situation here.

Silver Sable: What?


the mild distraction allows for Bison to deliver a hard backhand.He shoves runs onto the bridge,forcefully shoving the Order out of his way to get across.

: Out of the way,*****es

 

[PhotoJones]

great work!

 

[Abaddon]

The rest of the Archies show up with G2K on their tail.And yes,that pun is very much intended.

Fray: Go!Go!Go!

They all start crossing the bridge but G2K reaches soon and belts out another roar.She then tries to crush them with her feet,but they manage to move away in time.LL,leaps out of his chair just as the large foot comes down and destroys it.G2K gets tangled in the bridge and the weight of her body causes it to snap.Shadaloo having reached the other side,takes note.

: Take care of that,boys.

Cyclops: read my mind.


Cyclops blast the pillars of the bridge just as the Order reaches the end.


Dorian Gray: oh,crap.


G2K goes tumbling down into the large abyss beneath them,but the others hold on tightly to the remaining end of the bridge that dangled off the edge


Elijya: Finish the job already.

: No,no,no.Lets leave them for dead.Its always more fun that way.

Elijya: A little unpractical don't you think?

Bison: Not at all.We've got work to do.If theyre still there when we come back,then we can finsih them off,but for now its best we just walk away like all the cool supervillains do in the movies.

Elijya: Which is why they always lose.

Hyper Venom: Eli does have a point.

Look,just shut up.We're doing it my way.

Elijya: You're the boss.


With a shrug they all move towards the large cave entrance with a flickering beacon of light coming out of it.


Daisy: LL,are you alright?

Larrylegend: Are you kidding me,that thing crushed my chair!

Daisy: i meant how are you feeling?

Larrylegend: Pissed.

Twylight: We're going to die, aren't we?

Gunblade: Looks like it.

Twylight: See you in the next life.

Gunblade: No,in the next life I'll know better than to hang out with you freaks.

Fray: Shut up!Everybody just shut up and stay calm.

Matt: In case you didn't notice we're hanging above a deep bottomless pit of darkness.

Fray: No ****in kidding!!

Matt: Oh,well.You don't sound very calm.

Illchill: This is it yo.I'll see you playaz up above.I'll be chillin' with Tupac and Big.Word,life.

Dorian Gray: No,not yet.


Dorian reaches into his back pocket and pulls out what appears to be a strange remote control made of stone,with various wires,antennae, and shiny ruby red button in the middle of it.


Dorian Gray: I was waiting for the right moment.And this is as good as any.

Mongo: What the hell is it?

Dorian Gray: The deus ex machina. *presses button*


A light begins emanating from the device and in a split second theyre all heralded upward and dropped on the hard floor of the catacombs.Fray and the others look on in anger.


Larrylegend: Damnit,why didnt you guys carry one of those?

Jaguarr: We still have time to reach the sword.
-jag

Fray: WAIT!! *climbs upward*

Dorian Gray: *peers over* Is there something you want?

Fray: You won't be able to stop Bison without us.

Dorian Gray: What makes you so sure?

Fray: The fact that you got your asses handed to you the last time you butted heads.

Dorian Gray: Bold words coming from someone who's about to go spiraling into oblivion.

Fray: You need us.Think about it.

Dorian Gray: I'd rather not

Fray: If youre any bit smarter than Bison you will.

 

[Abaddon]

Cut to Shadaloo in the cave

The group casually strolls towards the light and find themselves staring up at the shining sword at the top of a stone pyramid wedge in what else,but a stone.

: Kickass!Now carry me up those steps.
Cyclops: What are you joking?

: I'm not walking up all the way up there!Do I look like Lance ****ing Armstrong?!
Elijya: Lance Armstrong rode bicycles,he didn't climb pyramids.

: Shut up.I know what I'm talking about!

Moments later the Order charges up behind them followed by Fray and the rest of the Archies.

: I knew we should have killed them on the spot.Damn you Elijya!



(--------->>extended battle scene to be added later<<------------)
http://www.superherohype.com/forums/showpost.php?p=8422127&postcount=825




Fray stands holding the sword victoriously

Fray: Well thats the end of that.
Matt: *gets up* Did I miss something?
Twylight: Yes,you missed alot.
Matt: Ah well.