How many times have you been heartbroken?

[Erzengel]

Should I try and win her back? Pretend like everythings peachy in my world? Or just show her how much she hurt me?

You don't have really a reason to talk to her. So I'd advise you not to. If she contacts you, I would act like everything is great.

Making her feel sorry or letting her know she hurt you won't do any good.

 

[Sofa]

Quoting X-Chick because her post is shorter and she's right.

I think you will eventually get over her. But there will be a bitterness, jadedness there that I hope won't sour any future relationships. Remember not all girls are like that and as trite as it sounds, just try and remember the good times you had together.

You're right Erz.

The worse thing you can do is carry the pain and anger with you forever, because itll cause you to attribute that pain to other women you encounter in various ways. You do not need to forgive or forget, but accept what happend and be he fact opened minded to the fact that other women will be different. Also, learn to control the fear of taking risks, putting yourself out there, knowing very well you MAY get hurt.

Itll take time, so take the time you need to get yourself back on track.

 

[Strong Guy]

Well I'm currently in the middle of being heartbroken. Which is, like the worse feeling in the world. It just makes you feel...empty.

I've liked this girl since I was 13. We were friends throughout junior high, and High School. We were actually pretty close. Lost touch after school, she got married, I went off to college. Ran into her last year, went out, and from that point, just talked every few weeks, then months. This past August she called, we started talking more, seeing each other more. Then eventually started being exclusive. I swear, I've never liked a girl so much. She is the only girl I've ever told " I love you".

I figured I would give a breif background, so you get a sense of how bad this hurts.

We both have myspace, and a few weeks back, a young guy she use to work with sent her a message. At first it was harmless. A simple hey how are you type of message. Then, it became more then that. I would find her always on there first thing in the morning talking to him, he always calls. Which I can overlook, but her sister saw some of their emails, and told me they were sharing feelings and talking about how I was going to be gradually faded out.

Fast forward to now, he's come back from the military for a visit, and she left me. She never talks to me, she's always busy and just put our whole 12 year friendship behind. I'm at a total loss, everything I see reminds me of her. Movies, games, scents, photos... How do you recover from something like this? Why do some women just throw the "love" word around like it's nothing?

Any suggestions on how to get over this pain? Aside from taking many Precocets a day.

Spidey,that's a very sad story that you put up here.Like some people here tell you: Forget about her and move on.You got a whole life ahead of you and who knows maybe that girl wasn't your destiny.

 

[Fried Gold]

Well I'm currently in the middle of being heartbroken. Which is, like the worse feeling in the world. It just makes you feel...empty.

I've liked this girl since I was 13. We were friends throughout junior high, and High School. We were actually pretty close. Lost touch after school, she got married, I went off to college. Ran into her last year, went out, and from that point, just talked every few weeks, then months. This past August she called, we started talking more, seeing each other more. Then eventually started being exclusive. I swear, I've never liked a girl so much. She is the only girl I've ever told " I love you".

I figured I would give a breif background, so you get a sense of how bad this hurts.

We both have myspace, and a few weeks back, a young guy she use to work with sent her a message. At first it was harmless. A simple hey how are you type of message. Then, it became more then that. I would find her always on there first thing in the morning talking to him, he always calls. Which I can overlook, but her sister saw some of their emails, and told me they were sharing feelings and talking about how I was going to be gradually faded out.

Fast forward to now, he's come back from the military for a visit, and she left me. She never talks to me, she's always busy and just put our whole 12 year friendship behind. I'm at a total loss, everything I see reminds me of her. Movies, games, scents, photos... How do you recover from something like this? Why do some women just throw the "love" word around like it's nothing?

Any suggestions on how to get over this pain? Aside from taking many Precocets a day.

LOL

 

[BizarroAids]

With us, we had one fight, and that was about "him". Because I knew I was right about her feelings towards him. Other then that, we were always happy and laughing, enjoying every minute together.

I'd be lying if I didn't feel rage and hate right now. I'm trying to move on. But then something will spring in my head about her and it just tears me down...that's when I take the Percocets.

Look, I know i'm only 23(almost 24) and that I've not really lived life. But what we had made me believe that I had found everything I ever needed. I've matured since my past relationship, which was two years ago, at that time, that girl and I had dated for 4 years. To be honest, I got over that, but with this, it's different.

She always told me she hated "cheaters" and that getting heartbroken was her greatess fear. Does she realize what she's doing to me?

What do you guys/ladies do to get over yours?

Maybe she's not my destiny, but she felt like it. I just, don't have anyone to turn to. All my friends are away in the military. I've come to you people for a shoulder. I'm a complete stranger to you all, and I've just thrown my love life out there in the open. Just to ask for guidence.

 

[Erzengel]

There isn't some set rules on "getting over it".

You just deal with it day to day and each day it'll get a lil easier.

I think you need an emotional break right now. No talking to her, then in a few months or more start dating again. Take it slow and I think you'll be in a better place.

 

[Sofa]

With us, we had one fight, and that was about "him". Because I knew I was right about her feelings towards him. Other then that, we were always happy and laughing, enjoying every minute together.

I'd be lying if I didn't feel rage and hate right now. I'm trying to move on. But then something will spring in my head about her and it just tears me down...that's when I take the Percocets.

Look, I know i'm only 23(almost 24) and that I've not really lived life. But what we had made me believe that I had found everything I ever needed. I've matured since my past relationship, which was two years ago, at that time, that girl and I had dated for 4 years. To be honest, I got over that, but with this, it's different.

She always told me she hated "cheaters" and that getting heartbroken was her greatess fear. Does she realize what she's doing to me?

What do you guys/ladies do to get over yours?

Maybe she's not my destiny, but she felt like it. I just, don't have anyone to turn to. All my friends are away in the military. I've come to you people for a shoulder. I'm a complete stranger to you all, and I've just thrown my love life out there in the open. Just to ask for guidence.

Thats tough man. It sounds like right now you dont have a choice to be on your own. But in the end, im sure youll get through it feeling stronger. You can do this on your own.

Sometimes, talking to strangers can be the best choice.

 

[BizarroAids]

There isn't some set rules on "getting over it".

You just deal with it day to day and each day it'll get a lil easier.

I think you need an emotional break right now. No talking to her, then in a few months or more start dating again. Take it slow and I think you'll be in a better place.

I think in the future, I'll let the female be the one to tell her the feelings. And maybe be a little emotionally distant, until I know it's real, or that it's going to work out.

 

[Strong Guy]

Thats tough man. It sounds like right now you dont have a choice to be on your own. But in the end, im sure youll get through it feeling stronger. You can do this on your own.

Sometimes, talking to strangers can be the best choice.

I agree.Talking to strangers can be the best choice.I mean,when you meet somebody who you just met,you'll feel like you're starting all over again and that's your chance to start something new.Then again if you want to get over things with that girl,try playing video games.

 

[Sofa]

I agree.Talking to strangers can be the best choice.I mean,when you meet somebody who you just met,you'll feel like you're starting all over again and that's your chance to start something new.Then again if you want to get over things with that girl,try playing video games.

Heh, a lot ppl wish video games made them feel better. Doesnt work for everyone.

 

[Erzengel]

I talk to strangers all the time about my problems. On the subway, buying groceries, homeless people, people who don't speak English.

 

[Sofa]

I talk to strangers all the time about my problems. On the subway, buying groceries, homeless people, people who don't speak English.

You're a genius Erz. Preach!

 

[Erzengel]

You're a genius Erz. Preach!

Ah, Tibor, how many times has he listened to my problems?

 

[Sofa]

Ah, Tibor, how many times has he listened to my problems?

Never enough. :heart:

 

[Strong Guy]

My definition of stranger isn't like the ones Erzengel mentioned.It'd be like some cute gal working at McDonald's or the gal who sold me that Slipknot cd.Of course,it's your choice to pick who you want to talk to.Heck,if i'm heartbroken,i could as well go out with her friend.

 

[GunBlade]

I knew this guy, for a while actually, and we always had a weird relationship, but it was a good weird. Then I had to get stupid and catch feelings for him. My next stupid move was to tell him, which he eventually, in a round-about way, said he did too. Then he turned into a complete *******. And like a dumbass, I still tried talking to him. Now I hope he burns forever in the fiery bowels of hell. But he'll probably be a "what if" for a while. And that sucks.

Bad move. If it's one thing I've learned, is never tell a guy you have feelings unless you're completely sure he feels the same. It's not bad if you throw in a few clues here and there but if there's no response, best you go your own way.

 

[X-Chick]

Bad move. If it's one thing I've learned, is never tell a guy you have feelings unless you're completely sure he feels the same. It's not bad if you throw in a few clues here and there but if there's no response, best you go your own way.

The ****ed up part is that he does feel the same way and I knew he did all along.

 

[November Rain]

Well I'm currently in the middle of being heartbroken. Which is, like the worse feeling in the world. It just makes you feel...empty.

I've liked this girl since I was 13. We were friends throughout junior high, and High School. We were actually pretty close. Lost touch after school, she got married, I went off to college. Ran into her last year, went out, and from that point, just talked every few weeks, then months. This past August she called, we started talking more, seeing each other more. Then eventually started being exclusive. I swear, I've never liked a girl so much. She is the only girl I've ever told " I love you".

I figured I would give a breif background, so you get a sense of how bad this hurts.

We both have myspace, and a few weeks back, a young guy she use to work with sent her a message. At first it was harmless. A simple hey how are you type of message. Then, it became more then that. I would find her always on there first thing in the morning talking to him, he always calls. Which I can overlook, but her sister saw some of their emails, and told me they were sharing feelings and talking about how I was going to be gradually faded out.

Fast forward to now, he's come back from the military for a visit, and she left me. She never talks to me, she's always busy and just put our whole 12 year friendship behind. I'm at a total loss, everything I see reminds me of her. Movies, games, scents, photos... How do you recover from something like this? Why do some women just throw the "love" word around like it's nothing?

Any suggestions on how to get over this pain? Aside from taking many Precocets a day.

I'm sorry I don't have any real methods of help, this seems fairly deep on your part and how much she integrated with your normal everyday life.

it's not easy to cut one's losses when pretty much every thing you have has been built around a given relationship, it's not as easy as removing some old clutter that has found itself in your home.

The only thing i can suggest is for you to convince yourself that she never really liked you that much in the first place and that it was more of a one way affair from your point of view.

I find people find things easier to deal with once they come to terms with the fact that the feelings put out were never really being reciprocated in the first place, it makes the healing process easier (although the coming to terms of this part can take some time).

try not to let it taint your existence, there is more to life than her.

 

[GunBlade]

The ****ed up part is that he does feel the same way and I knew he did all along.

Probably had a power trip from you telling him. Guys are weird..and frustrating.

 

[Erzengel]

The only thing i can suggest is for you to convince yourself that she never really liked you that much in the first place and that it was more of a one way affair from your point of view.

I find people find things easier to deal with once they come to terms with the fact that the feelings put out were never really being reciprocated in the first place, it makes the healing process easier (although the coming to terms of this part can take some time).

try not to let it taint your existence, there is more to life than her.

While I agree on the whole not tainting and more to life than her, I have to disagree with the whole convincing yourself you never cared in the first place because it would be a lie.

He probably has lots of good memories of her 13 years from what he said. Twisting those 13 years into something they were not just doesn't sound like a good idea.

She wasn't the girl he thought he was. He realizes that now, he can start to move on. You can't let the end of that relationship sour the other 13 years or any future relationships.

 

[X-Chick]

Probably had a power trip from you telling him. Guys are weird..and frustrating.

Probably and yeah, they are. I thought once me and Pete got engaged and moved in together, it'd be different. But no, he's still weird and frustrating at times.

 

[November Rain]

While I agree on the whole not tainting and more to life than her, I have to disagree with the whole convincing yourself you never cared in the first place because it would be a lie.

He probably has lots of good memories of her 13 years from what he said. Twisting those 13 years into something they were not just doesn't sound like a good idea.

She wasn't the girl he thought he was. He realizes that now, he can start to move on. You can't let the end of that relationship sour the other 13 years or any future relationships.

I find lying to myself speeds up the process.

kinda how i pretend i'm always broke so i don't spend any money or how i pretend i'm obese in order to motivate myself to exercise (and hence haven't weighed myself in over 2 and a bit years).

It can be a quick fix to getting you going in the right direction, once down that road and in a steady place, then the true reality of the situation can set in but i don't feel like initial masking is 'bad' in the long run. I just find it jump starts the healing process. which is why i kinda half heartedly suggested it.

 

[Fried Gold]

There are 2 options for heartbreak. Kill yourself, or get over it. Once you figure that out, it's easy.

 

[Erzengel]

I hear where you are coming from but I'd be wary because it could certainly just turn someone more bitter about the relationship.

 

[BizarroAids]

While I agree on the whole not tainting and more to life than her, I have to disagree with the whole convincing yourself you never cared in the first place because it would be a lie.

He probably has lots of good memories of her 13 years from what he said. Twisting those 13 years into something they were not just doesn't sound like a good idea.

She wasn't the girl he thought he was. He realizes that now, he can start to move on. You can't let the end of that relationship sour the other 13 years or any future relationships.

It's easier said than done to pretend she never cared. It really hurts to know you're second place in the eyes of the woman you love.

The situation leading up to it hurt the most. All the secrets, and hiding the emails and messages, phone calls. I failed. And I didnt' even see it coming.