I made a co-worker cry today...

[MadVillainy]

In my experience, me and my guy friends have the mentality "All of my friends are a**holes... but they're my a**holes"
Yeah I might complain and crack jokes about them, but if someone not in our group of friends do it it's seen as more of an insult. That's just the way it is for me and a lot of other guys I know.

It's like my brother too. We may fight and mess with each other. But when someone else does it to him i say "Hey hey hey you shut your face, If we wanna hear u Talk I will shove my arm up your a** and work your mouth like a puppet."

I assumed that's how a lot of guys and girls are

 

[moviedoors]

So do you and your guy friends sit around drinking tea and discuss life altering events?

Yeah, because the only options are "behave like foppish Victorians" or "jerks." Clearly there aren't miles and miles of scenarios in between. We drink beers, look at Saturn through a telescope, we listen to vinyl, we get baked and play Apples to Apples, we talk politics, we talk religion, we rib each other over little gaffs. We have a good time. If my friends were the type of people to rib someone so relentlessly that they cried, and then they laughed at him over it, they wouldn't be my friends.

Could you be a bit more reductive?

 

[OrgasmicPotatoe]

In my experience, "it's just guy talk" is an excuse to be a bully and a dick.

Your point makes sense if you talk about the one joking.

But what about the one who's being joked about who thinks "It's okay, it's just guy talk". In that occasion, it wouldn't make sense that this man is being a bully and a dick to himself, would it ?

Personnally, if my guy friends wouldn't make fun of me sometimes and always politely have fun without picking on anyone, i'd ditch them right away. No one needs to take themselve that seriously. Serious is a good thing most of the time, but there are times when it's just the worst thing to do.

 

[MadVillainy]

If Bobert was crying because what whoever said reminded him of his mom dying or something like that, then I'd be more sympathetic.

This just seems that people were all talking and he started crying over a tiny, tiny insult, which I don't even really see as an insult. There have been times when me and my friends have "guy talk" and it goes too far and we stop but the situation presented in the OT doesnt seem like one of those times.

 

[Figs]

A lunch with coworkers in the middle of a working day is an extension of the workplace. If you wouldn't have that conversation at the water cooler with your boss within earshot, you shouldn't be having it at Hooters.

Assuming this is at least a medium-sized workplace, all "Bobert" has to do is spend 10 minutes with HR and knowsbleed is in trouble.

If he did go to HR he is indeed a crybaby because although you say it's an extension of work, usually you're off the clock for lunch. As far as I'm concerned, if you're off the clock the job doesn't really own you for that time.

I do realize that Knowsbleed could still get into trouble regardless if it's off the clock but that guy(bobbert or whatever his name was) lacks some serious balls.

 

[Lighthouse]

Your point makes sense if you talk about the one joking.

But what about the one who's being joked about who thinks "It's okay, it's just guy talk". In that occasion, it wouldn't make sense that this man is being a bully and a dick to himself, would it ?

Personnally, if my guy friends wouldn't make fun of me sometimes and always politely have fun without picking on anyone, i'd ditch them right away. No one needs to take themselve that seriously. Serious is a good thing most of the time, but there are times when it's just the worst thing to do.

I'm the same way with my friends. It's fine if you have the agreement with friends. It's not okay if

a. The guy just takes it so he can fit in.
b. If one of the friends does get offended, and it's his fault because it's just "guy talk".

 

[runawayboulder]

I think there needs to be a separation between friends and co-workers. When they're treated as the same, that's when the problems start.

 

[MadVillainy]

No joke I actually wanna see the story in the OP to play out in a movie.

 

[OrgasmicPotatoe]

It's like my brother too. We may fight and mess with each other. But when someone else does it to him i say "Hey hey hey you shut your face, If we wanna hear u Talk I will shove my arm up your a** and work your mouth like a puppet."

I assumed that's how a lot of guys and girls are

Congratulations sir, you just put a big smile on my face ! Never heard that one

 

[knowsbleed]

I'm a sensitive guy... but methinks you people like making up drama where there is none...

pay attention to bold...

We looked at the area outside the window where he was standing and Bobert was wiping his eyes while smoking and we all looked at each other with the same thought... "DUDE! He's CRYING!"

... no words were said... just shaking of heads...

Now I'm back at work and I don't think I want to go to lunch with Bobert anymore.

I think I'll start packing a bag lunch.

I can handle **** talking from strangers just fine. Some ribbing with friends has its place to. But straight up harassment and laughing over making someone cry whose supposed to be your friend? I mean how is that NOT being a bully? If this is what qualifies as being a man, then call me Fairy Fay.

This would seem to be the main point. "Guy talk" IS very common. And guys ripping on each other is too. But the whole point of it is the give-and-take ****-talking. Your friend will rip on you, and you will rip on him, and both will have a good laugh, since it's in the spirit of friendship. But this "Bobert" doesn't sound like the type to do that. You say he "knows" your sense of humour, but has he ever participated in that kind of joking around? If not, then you're just insulting him for no reason. And laughing about it after you knew he was upset by it kind of removes any "friendly" aspect of it anyways.

Where did I say we laughed at the fact that he might have been crying?

What I didn't tell you about is the drive back to work... of course there was discussion... it just wasn't funny. It was pretty ****ing boring bro-hug stuff that I didn't think would fit with the funny parts of the original post. But since all movies need to end with a happy ending... there's your happy ending.

That being said, I talk **** to my friends. It's the way I grew up and people who are my friends either understand that and are friends with me regardless or they are just like me and enjoy the smack talk. I won't apologize for that... that makes me a dick? So be it. I can and have already accepted that.

Now THAT being said... allow me to say this... some people here need to get stomped on a little bit in life, because there's a lot of softness in this thread.

 

[runawayboulder]

If he did go to HR he is indeed a crybaby because although you say it's an extension of work, usually you're off the clock for lunch. As far as I'm concerned, if you're off the clock the job doesn't really own you for that time.

I do realize that Knowsbleed could still get into trouble regardless if it's off the clock but that guy(bobbert or whatever his name was) lacks some serious balls.

Companies can do whatever the hell they want nowadays. They hide behind their bullying policy because America has become *****fied.

Everybody sues when they think they can get an easy payday and everybody cries bullying when they get their feelings hurt.

 

[Figs]

Companies can do whatever the hell they want nowadays. They hide behind their bullying policy because America has become *****fied.

Everybody sues when they think they can get an easy payday and everybody cries bullying when they get their feelings hurt.

I agree that's the way things are...and it's a damn shame.

 

[Lighthouse]

I'm a sensitive guy... but methinks you people like making up drama where there is none...

pay attention to bold...







Where did I say we laughed at the fact that he might have been crying?

What I didn't tell you about is the drive back to work... of course there was discussion... it just wasn't funny. It was pretty ****ing boring bro-hug stuff that I didn't think would fit with the funny parts of the original post. But since all movies need to end with a happy ending... there's your happy ending.

That being said, I talk **** to my friends. It's the way I grew up and people who are my friends either understand that and are friends with me regardless or they are just like me and enjoy the smack talk. I won't apologize for that... that makes me a dick? So be it. I can and have already accepted that.

Now THAT being said... allow me to say this... some people here need to get stomped on a little bit in life, because there's a lot of softness in this thread.

Great. Talk that way with your friends, not oversensitive co-workers.

 

[MadVillainy]

Companies can do whatever the hell they want nowadays. They hide behind their bullying policy because America has become *****fied.

Everybody sues when they think they can get an easy payday and everybody cries bullying when they get their feelings hurt.

lmao.."*****fied"

Congratulations sir, you just put a big smile on my face ! Never heard that one

It's from the movie THe Other Guys

 

[Perfect Cell]

I'm a sensitive guy... but methinks you people like making up drama where there is none...

pay attention to bold...

Where did I say we laughed at the fact that he might have been crying?

What I didn't tell you about is the drive back to work... of course there was discussion... it just wasn't funny. It was pretty ****ing boring bro-hug stuff that I didn't think would fit with the funny parts of the original post. But since all movies need to end with a happy ending... there's your happy ending.

That being said, I talk **** to my friends. It's the way I grew up and people who are my friends either understand that and are friends with me regardless or they are just like me and enjoy the smack talk. I won't apologize for that... that makes me a dick? So be it. I can and have already accepted that.

Now THAT being said... allow me to say this... some people here need to get stomped on a little bit in life, because there's a lot of softness in this thread.

Yeah... you said it, right here:

I'm not trying to garner sympathy. I like Bobert, I've helped him out a lot in ways that are too numerous and detailed to explain to outsiders... but talking **** amongst the fellas is common. The fact that he probably shed a couple of tears because he realized that he actually DID brush his lips against a woman's vagina at one point during the course of his life is funny as hell to me.

It's not about being "soft". Like I said, in that exact post you quoted, ripping on friends is normal, since they will expect it, and give it back as good as they get. But if you act like that around EVERYONE, yeah, you're a dick. Enjoy. And you thinking people need to get "stomped" because they don't agree with it? Kinda telling.

 

[knowsbleed]

Great. Talk that way with your friends, not oversensitive co-workers.

I'm wondering if you are taking this a little too personal because you don't know how to handle being bullied. Not that I think I was a bully... at all... but it seems to me that you are turning this entire thing into another issue so you can step onto a soapbox and cry your holier than thou messages about non-existent bullying because there's a chip on your shoulder that you just can't get rid of. Come down here and join us common folk... I won't make you cry... much.

 

[knowsbleed]

Yeah... you said it, right here:



It's not about being "soft". Like I said, in that exact post you quoted, ripping on friends is normal, since they will expect it, and give it back as good as they get. But if you act like that around EVERYONE, yeah, you're a dick. Enjoy. And you thinking people need to get "stomped" because they don't agree with it? Kinda telling.

Nope... you're wrong. I'm glad you were really trying to reach for something there though. Just because I think it's funny doesn't mean I laughed and made fun of the guy... thoughts and actions are different. Can you understand that or do you need me to clarify it for you a little more?

 

[OrgasmicPotatoe]

I'm the same way with my friends. It's fine if you have the agreement with friends. It's not okay if

a. The guy just takes it so he can fit in.
b. If one of the friends does get offended, and it's his fault because it's just "guy talk".

I believe sometimes this is "kind of" okay.

What I mean is the problem does not always come from the joker, it can come from the one being joked. As if everytime someone gets offended, it's always the fault of what offended him, instead of being his own fault for being a little too sensitive about things. In that particular occasion, we're dealing with physical sexual contact with other parts than the penis. I believe this is something considered normal and not offending towards grown male adults, so it might not be only because of the other guys' fault if Bobert got offended, but maybe because of Bobert himself.

 

[Pink Ranger]

I'm with Figs here. It's guy talk, and lunch isn't an extension of the workplace as you voluntarily go eat with colleagues and vent among other things. And I heavily doubt HR would anything in that situation.

I hope for your sake you won't find out firsthand how incredibly wrong you are about that.

 

[OrgasmicPotatoe]

Companies can do whatever the hell they want nowadays. They hide behind their bullying policy because America has become *****fied.

Everybody sues when they think they can get an easy payday and everybody cries bullying when they get their feelings hurt.

No one ever said it better in two lines than you.

 

[Perfect Cell]

Nope... you're wrong. I'm glad you were really trying to reach for something there though. Just because I think it's funny doesn't mean I laughed and made fun of the guy... thoughts and actions are different. Can you understand that or do you need me to clarify it for you a little more?

I'm not talking about laughing to the guy's face or insulting him. Never said you did that. You found it funny that you upset the guy. That's my point. Which removes the "friendly" aspect of the jokes. It's one thing to rip on friends if it's good-natured. If you find it funny that he's upset, it's not good-natured. That's the whole point. That's when it goes from being ribbing, to just dickish.

 

[MadVillainy]

If I called one of my friends a poopy face and he started crying, is it wrong that I find that funny

 

[knowsbleed]

I'm not talking about laughing to the guy's face or insulting him. Never said you did that. You found it funny that you upset the guy. That's my point. Which removes the "friendly" aspect of the jokes. It's one thing to rip on friends if it's good-natured. If you find it funny that he's upset, it's not good-natured. That's the whole point. That's when it goes from being ribbing, to just dickish.

So, I was a dick... in my own thoughts. I didn't make fun of him after the fact and actually straightened things out with him on the drive back to work... and yet, that's still bad. I guess that makes complete sense.

 

[OrgasmicPotatoe]

If I called one of my friends a poopy face and he started crying, is it wrong that I find that funny

Not at all, unless he just got out of the closet about being black.

 

[Perfect Cell]

If I called one of my friends a poopy face and he started crying, is it wrong that I find that funny

But this isn't calling someone a poopy face. He started poking the guy after he found out he didn't like the south-of-the-equator mouth dance. And he kept going with it. From at least the way he described it, the guy was very serious in his beliefs (no matter how ridiculous we find them), and was then upset by what was said. A little different.