Inebriated Stories Thread

[PemLam]

Got drunk and once did a topless contest at a bar

Pics...or it didn't happen.

 

[DBella]

I once punched a drunken man in the face. Gave him a black eye and a bloody nose. The best thing about that is that he can't remember so there were no assault charges against me. Hooray!!!

 

[Morg]

I once punched a drunken man in the face. Gave him a black eye and a bloody nose. The best thing about that is that he can't remember so there were no assault charges against me. Hooray!!!

Ohhhh Doglips, we finally found the girl that beat you up!! t:

 

[DBella]

Morg, you better delete your post to youknowwho or I'd have to hit you in the head to make you forget.

 

[BRUTAL]

I'm trying to decipher whether I :heart: you more or less after hearing about this.

 

[DBella]

In my defense, the drunkard deserved it. He was dry humpin' me. And his breath reeked.

How can you :heart: me less when it was an act of self-defense?

 

[BRUTAL]

Hrmmm, ok then. +1:heart:

 

[Morg]

Morg, you better delete your post to youknowwho or I'd have to hit you in the head to make you forget.

Nah, I think I'll let Doggie hear about this

 

[DBella]

Nah, I think I'll let Doggie hear about this

Telltaler! Shall I call my laywer?

 

[knowsbleed]

I don't normally tend to dryhump things when I get drunk...


at least I don't think I do.

 

[Honey Vibe]

I found out that when I'm drunk, I instantly transform into a flawless ninja master.

 

[Morg]

Telltaler! Shall I call my laywer?

You are safe, DL too embarassed to admit he was beaten by a girl

 

[xisaacx]

theres really nothing to say, besides I had a rant about how I dont screw fat girls

http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=9710105

once you get past the band playing, and my boy muffin singing the rape song, you got me so wasted Im being held up and slurring my speech, yeah embarassing haha

 

[Kipobe]

Got drunk and once did a topless contest at a bar

Aren't you Morg?

 

[tzarinna]

It'll have to keep for a time I'm not completely wiped out and/or drunk.

 

[Danalys]

i don't normally have memory laps that i know of from drinking. but one time i was visiting a friend and he was texting his lass to find some place for us to go. she thought it would be funny to send us to a gay and lesbien night at some club. and then i can't remember anything but for waking up at my friends with bags of crisps on me (unopened.)

 

[bullets]

i hope you woke up with your pants on.

 

[Danalys]

there were no signs of forced entry or of fights with bounchers luckily.

 

[bored]

When I get really drunk, I usually just lumber around, or sometimes crawl on the floor, and hug everyone in sigh while proclaiming my undying platonic love for them.

Also, I text-message girls I like. They usually think it's funny. It's probably why I don't get a lot of play .

 

[Gilpesh]

I stole a bumper.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

My friends and I do a pub crawl a week before Christmas every year dressed as Santa Clause, it's a little out of the way, so we always stay a hotel that night so we don't have to drive. One year, one of the Santas disappeared halfway through the night, we found out the next day he went back to the hotel (had a little too much holiday cheer already), but lost the key to his room and stumbled around aimlessly for a while trying to find an open door, he found one in the door to the linen closet and passed out, he was woken up around 6 or 7 in the morning by the cleaning lady, still dressed in full Santa outfit. Both were pretty shocked.

At a different Santa Crawl, we were at a bar that had karoke and one of our group grabbed the mic, but instead of singing he just starting insulting everyone at the bar. The bartenders quickly tried to get the mic away from him and he kept running from them, all Santas were kicked out once the got the mic back, as we were leaving another friend asking why we were getting kicked out, I told him the story about the karoke mic, he turned to me and said "Oh that's why! I thought it was cause I was pissing in thier mop bucket". To this day we're still not sure which reason it was or a combination of the two.

 

[PhotoJones]

Here's one:

There used to be a local brewry/bar called the Barrelhouse where I live. Aside from having some of the best beer in the city, it often hosted a ton of great bands, local and otherwise. Anyway, one night I met this girl and started talking to her. Long story short, I wake up the next day in a strange bed, in a strange apartment with no recollection of how I got there. To this day, I do not remember anything. I woke up alone, found my clothes, found a note that said something to the effect of, "Thanks for the fun, help yourself to some food in the fridge." Terrified, I went outside to find that this apartment was in a rundown building in the warehouse district of town. I had to walk about a couple miles to find a pay phone and have someone pick me up.

I didn't drink for about a week after that.

 

[November Rain]

I fell asleep on my girlfriend during sex.

beat that.

 

[PhotoJones]

I fell asleep on my girlfriend during sex.

beat that.

I fell asleep on my friend while he was having sex with his girlfriend. Beaten.

 

[GuardianofOa]

I fell asleep on my friend while he was having sex with his girlfriend. Beaten.

I was the girlfriend. I win.