Inebriated Stories Thread

[GuardianofOa]

I was the girlfriend. I win.

Crap, that didn't work out the way I wanted it to.

 

[PhotoJones]

You would if that were true.

 

[November Rain]

I fell asleep on my friend while he was having sex with his girlfriend. Beaten.

how?

 

[PhotoJones]

how?

I stumbled through the door and fell on top of them and went to sleep. They apparently finished before pushing me aside. I guess they were close.

 

[bored]

Reminds of a story of others being inebriated. I was with my girlfriend of the time, doing naughty adult things that I won't repeat so that I don't spoil the innocence of anyone here (and by that, I mean Morg), and the lock to my bedroom door was broken. At some point, my drunken roommates apparently made food, and kept trying to enter my room to ask if I wanted any. I kept having to kick the door closed (it was a very small room).

 

[WTFimVENOM]

Technically, inebriated implies any type of intoxication, and I have funnier drug induced stories than stories of my friends doing something ******ed under the influence of alcohol, but I still feel like i'll be bombarded with the usual posts of "lolz Pot is4 teh loozers!!1!" if I began to tell any.....

 

[punishermax]

Got caught pissing on my kitchen floor. Actually whipped it out and started pissing. I have no recollection of doing it, but amny people have told about it. Weird sense of pride with that one.

 

[Alex The Great]

Reminds of a story of others being inebriated. I was with my girlfriend of the time, doing naughty adult things that I won't repeat so that I don't spoil the innocence of anyone here (and by that, I mean Morg), and the lock to my bedroom door was broken. At some point, my drunken roommates apparently made food, and kept trying to enter my room to ask if I wanted any. I kept having to kick the door closed (it was a very small room).

*walks in* congratz! u are a father!

 

[Sun_Down]

Mine are all too ordinary...uriniated on this, puked on that, had sex with....um, what's your name again?

 

[The Geek Vault]

I've only been drunk once, and it didn't turn out good. 2 of my buddies and me were having a sleep over. The friends house is right near my high school, which is right next to the middle school we went to. Now after a few drinks and everything and the fact it was one in the morning. My friends decided that we should go get back at the middle school for all the **** is put us through (The school was horrible, all three of us were screwed over on false harassment charges). So we walk down to the school and my two friends climb up to the roof (I don't like heights so I decide to look for a open way in the basement) My friends call and say they are in the school. Now after a minute of two I see a police car with a search light driving into the high school drive way looking over the field in back of the middle school. So I have to duck down in the grass and I'm a little panicked. Next I see a cop on foot walking around with a search light in the field. So I go behind a tree and try to do my best to pretend to be a tree (and the kids said being a tree in little red riding hood would never come in handy!) So I panicked try to text my friends that the "cpsu" were coming. Anyway, two seconds later I see my friends bolt off the roof and jump straight to the ground. They both severely *****ed up their angles and couldn't walk the next day. So then the cops were looking in the front. My friends had triggered the silent alarm in the school. So my friends and I would have to go right in front of all the cop cars to get back to his house, so we bolted in front of one of the cars and whizzed right passed in front of the search light. As we're running we see the car start up and begin to kind of follow us. Needless to say we made it back into his house in time. All out of breath, we had victory shots... it hurt like hell!

 

[ShadowBoxing]

Yadda Yadda Yadda...I threw up all over the floor of this 300 pound lineman and 230 pound defensive back's apartment.

 

[bored]

*walks in* congratz! u are a father!

Oy, if, when I have children, they turn out like my old roommates, I will be a failure as a human being.