JewishHobbit presents: The Quest for Light

JewishHobbit

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Well, as the Hype's 2010 Best Writer winner I thought I should actually show off some of my work. My main problem, however, is that I just write novels. So I thought, if I get enough interest, I'll post one here. It'll be huge and take a lot of time but I figured I'd post the first chapter and go from there until interest wans.

Warning... looking back on this book I could probably edit it a bit more but oh well. Starting post #2... the Quest for Light begins. Note, it's a novel-sized book that was never picked up by an agent or a publishing company so I figured what the heck, I'll post it here for fun. And I do own the copywrite so no copiers!!!!

As for plot here is how I described it in my Agent/Publisher submissions:

Elliott Schultz, a loner by nature, has never been there for his twice divorced mother and hurting younger brother. However, a dream the night before the first day of school is the beginning of an adventure that will show him the true value of family. Alongside his semi-popular best friend, the high school bully, and the most beautiful girl in school, Elliott travels from one vastly different world to the next, facing a multitude of dangers and personalities. Underwater kingdoms, landless skies, and even Earth itself aren't safe from the darkness that threatens to claim them. The quest will conclude with the salvation of the Lady of Light, the one person who offers a chance of redemption for this corrupted web of worlds. However, a great evil pursues Elliott and his company, the very evil that darkened the web in the first place.

The Quest for Light is a Young Adult fantasy novel dealing with broken homes and highschool status segregation while putting the main characters into fantasy otherworldly settings. Let me know if you guys like what you read and I'll continue posting.
 
Prologue
An Extraordinary Night


A great crackling sound echoes as a series of deep, inhuman moans travel on the wind to the quiet town of Quincy. The elderly glare through the cracks of their doors, curious as to which troublesome youth could be causing such racket, as the young peer through their windows unsure of what they will be blamed for next. Little do they realize the extraordinary event that is taking place on the outskirts of their insignificant town. Sadly, most will never know.
Lines of dust and dirt slither down a lightly traveled road, stretching from just south of Quincy to the neighboring town of LeSords. Oak and pine trees rise on either side of this road, casting intertwining shadows on the moonlit asphalt. And in the center of these shadows stands a lone figure dressed in a pinstriped suit and sleek green tie, though no evidence of how he arrived can be found. He loosens his tie and listens closely to the sounds that fill the night. The crackling and moaning is nearby to the north, mixed with the frightened scuffle of various woodland creatures.
The man takes a breath and steps from the dusty asphalt between two oaks and enters the mangled unkempt forest. Something catches the man's eye and he quickly tries to trace it, finding nothing but rolling leaves. It isn't long before the echoes draw near and become almost violent, forcing him to slow his pace. Something brushes against his leg but when he turns he finds nothing but a sapling swaying in the wind. The sounds surround him now as he receives the strangest sensation that everything is shifting. The trees then open into a small clearing and the view that he finds is one that would frighten even the bravest of men. This man, however, is merely curious. The trees surrounding the clearing seem to have come alive, moving away from the clearing in slow swaying motions, their trunks uprooted and stepping as if legs. The moaning sounds echo from their great trunks and the crackling is quite loud in their limbs. The man watches as their branches collide with those of other trees that have yet to move. They then awaken as well.
“Artie! Ya' came!” comes a deep, excited voice.
Artie, the dignified man in the pinstriped suit, turns to find a rather large man walking toward him.
“What is this?”
The large man stops just shy of Artie, obviously breathless, and closes his eyes in attempts to compose himself. He is large both wide and tall with a thick mustache, a ragged top hat, and a long black overcoat that looks as if it could fall to pieces at any moment.
“Mack,” Artie says curiously, his eyes wide, “Never before have the trees of Earth moved in such fashion. What's led to this?”
Mack glances behind him and then looks intently into Artie's eyes.
“I saw her, Artie. Th' Child. She came ta' me.”
A silence falls between them and though Artie attempts to speak, no words come. Mack allows him a moment to find his voice.
“You're certain it was her?” he finally asks in a whisper.
“Not a doubt in my mind. She came ta' me jus' b'fore sundown, here in these woods. I sensed somethin' drawin' me here, an' so I came. Thought maybe it was you, or one a' th' others, but I never 'spected her.”
“How long has it been?” Artie asks rhetorically beneath his breath
Mack begins to think back in his mind, obviously not realizing the question rhetorical.
“Did she speak to you?” Artie asks quickly, interrupting Mack's thoughts.
“O'course not. If she didn' speak ta' Perrin she sure ain't gonna speak ta' someone as dim as me. I was so dumbfounded by th' sight of her that I nearly fell on my face. All th' while, she jus' looked at me, as if searchin' my soul. Then her face relaxed like she found wha' she was lookin' for. An' get this, she smiled!”
“Smiled?” Artie says incredibly, “She's only ever appeared saddened when the others had seen her. And you say she smiled?”
“I know. I didn' know wha' ta' make of it either. She seemed happy an' started lookin' at th' trees, an' then she touched one. It was right in th' center a' this clearin' here, an' th' tree came alive an' started movin'. As th' tree touched th' others 'round it, they started movin', an' ya' c'n see how it's turned out.”
“Where are they going?”
Mack shakes his head, “Don' know. But th' strangest thing happened after that. Th' Child looked at me again an' it was like I was in a trance. Her eyes were like pools a' water, all blue like, an' I began ta' see a vision. I saw children, young people... an' then I saw her.”
“Her?” Artie says softly, “You mean...?”
“Th' Lady, yeah. I saw her walkin' aimlessly in th' Void. It made me sad, but then I came out a' th' trance an' th' Child was there, her smile gone. She looked at me with an expression so serious that it near frightened me. I think maybe she was makin' sure I understood what I was jus' shown. Then she turned an' walked away. I lost her in th' trees an' doubt I woulda found her again even if I tried.”
“Nor do I,” Artie says softly, slowly rubbing his chin. “And what do you make of the vision? Of the young people and the Lady?”
“Don' know. Only that there's somethin' special 'bout th' young people a' this town. I don' know how or why but I know what I have ta' do. I have ta' gather 'em, or at least th' ones th' Child wants me to.”
“And how will you know which young people to gather?”
“Don' know that either, but I have a feelin' I'll know 'em when I see 'em. I jus' had ta' think of a way ta' get 'em t'gether.”
Artie looks around and finds that the trees are creating not only a clearing but a path to the old road as well. He looks to the stars above and then closes his eyes.
“The Lady...” he says in a whisper to the heavens. “It's been so long. I'd nearly given up hope entirely.”
“So'd I, Artie. We all did.”
Artie nods. He then takes a breath and begins to speak in a more dignified tone. “The young people of this town may very well be the key to our salvation. Not only Earth's, but all the worlds of the web. We have to be careful about this.”
“Should we tell th' others?”
Artie shakes his head, “No. I think we should keep this as quiet as possible, for the moment anyhow. Periphne's spies cover many worlds, not all of which are accounted for. If rumor of your vision reaches her she will do everything in her power to find the young ones and claim them as her own. We mustn't tell a soul of this.”
“Then our lips are sealed,” Mack says sternly, his voice echoing deeply.
“So tell me, old friend. Exactly how do you plan on gathering these young people?”
A slight smirk crosses Mack's face. He excitedly waves for Artie to follow him and the two quickly move through the clearing. The sound of crackling increases as they walk and Artie's eyes widen at what he finds next. Trees of all sizes, from pine to weeping willow, are in the process of intertwining and molding themselves into what appears to be the frame of a small building. The grass about the frame has pulled itself into the ground just enough to create a well-kept, trimmed appearance. Flowers of all colors bloom about the forming yard.
“I had an idea, an' as soon as I thought it th' trees jus' started reactin'. Th' Child's doin' I 'spect.”
“And how do you plan to gather the young ones with such framework?”
Mack smiles widely as he puffs out his large chest, “I plan ta' open a business. One thing th' young people an' I have in common is that we all love ta' eat. An' there's one delicacy tha's been th' desire of every young person since th' beginnin' a' time.”
“And what delicacy is that, Mack?” Artie asks, a slight smile crossing his face.
“Pizza, my old friend. Pizza.”
 
Man, I didn't think about the indentations and such not taking while posting here but it's too much to really go in and edit. Most chapters are much larger than this but it seems readable. Hope it's okay.
 
It's somewhat hard to read :(
 
Due to the layout or the wording? I'm only asking because as I'm reading it over I'm realizing that I really needed to edit it more. That's some wordy stuff up there. The rest of the book mellows out but I've certainly grown since I wrote this.
 
Man, the more I read that first paragraph or two and I can see why no agent was interested in this dude. I'm a little embaressed. I should have read this again prior to posting. :(

But hopefully as a redeeming factor here's a more recent writing of mine. I wrote this a couple days ago as the first chapter of a potential future book.

Chapter 1​

I’ve buried friends and said goodbye to family members I thought would always be there, but the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do was tell my six-year old daughter that the little baby she was so excited to meet would never be born.

My wife Jessica had come to the school where I was working and told me about the miscarriage. It wasn’t a surprise, as she’d had problems all throughout the pregnancy, but to hear that it actually happened had an impact on me I wasn’t expecting. I held her for quite some time before telling my boss I had to leave and we ended up driving around town for a while debating on how to handle it. When we got home my mother-in-law could tell something was wrong and so Jessica pulled her aside while I took the difficult task. I asked my daughter Paige to join me in the bedroom.

She couldn’t understand how the baby could be in heaven. But it’s not old yet? is what she kept repeating. I held her as she cried and I’m not ashamed to say I cried harder at that moment than any other time previous. Jessica came in when she thought it was safe but seeing us cry only led her to join us. It was a hard night. It’s been hard ever since.

I’d like to say things went how I’ve always imagined they’d go in these situations; we took time to mourn but eventually overcame it and moved on with our happy lives – but this wasn’t the case. Jessica went into a depression and, secretly, I think I did too. People always say it hits mothers worse than fathers but that’s hard for me to imagine knowing what I went through. All I know is that I was hurting bad. The miscarriage happened before we knew the sex of the baby but I’ve always imagined us having that second little girl. I named her Isabella in my head but I refused to tell Jessica that. The last thing I wanted was to give her more focus for her grieving.

We began to fight a lot and I don’t even remember what started it. We yelled more after the miscarriage than in the six years of marriage prior and stopped talking entirely within a year. Oh, we’d carry enough conversation to get through the day and to make Paige think things were fine but they weren’t. Sex had stopped by that point as well, though we eventually warmed up to it again. There was little romance or passion but it took care of our needs.

It pains me to say it but our marriage was failing – and this is why what came next was such a shock to me.

Jessica was sitting at the kitchen table when I got home from work with tears in her eyes. The room was dim and I remember wondering how long she’d been sitting there.

“You okay?” I asked.

She didn’t say anything at first but then looked up at me and shook her head, no.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m pregnant.”

My stomach dropped and I felt like I was going to throw up. I remember when she’d told me we were pregnant with Paige, and then Isabella, I was ecstatic – but now – now there was only fear. The first thing that came to mind was having lost Isabella and I could tell she was thinking the same thing. We weren’t much of a couple by then, a marriage of necessity, but I knew I had to comfort her. I sat beside her and hugged her and she leaned into my shoulder. I hated how awkward it felt.

“It’s going to be okay, Jessica. It’ll make it this time.”


That was nine months ago. Now, as I sit in this church pew, staring at the casket, I can’t help but to reflect on Jessica and Paige, and on Isabella. I wish they were here now. I wish they could be here for me, but they can’t be and it’s my fault. I suppose I should go into more detail about that but it’s a longer story and a quick explanation wouldn’t do it justice. I just hope when I’m finished telling it I’ll be able to look myself in the mirror and be a stronger person, but somehow, I doubt it.
 
Due to the layout or the wording? I'm only asking because as I'm reading it over I'm realizing that I really needed to edit it more. That's some wordy stuff up there. The rest of the book mellows out but I've certainly grown since I wrote this.

The layout made it hard for me to read.
 
Very strong chapter you posted there JewHob :up:
 
The first one or the one I posted later about the miscarriage?
 
I'm really liking what you are doing here! i really enjoyed reading this and look forward to what you write in the future!
 
Yeah, I really liked that one and am planning on maybe moving forward with that story after I finish editing the current one.
 

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