Mix up movie captions - Part 1

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This is a continuation thread, the old thread is [split]206851[/split]

 

[C.F. Kane]

I stumbled across this thing on somethingawful.com:

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1951

And I just thought I'd shamelessly rip it off into a "caption this" thread.

Take any screenshot of a movie and caption it with a line from a different movie.

I'll start.



"You shut the hell up, Jackie-Boy. You're dead."

 

[kedrell]

Batman: "All right, listen, we both go outside, move around in opposite directions. We act crazy, insane with anger, make them crap in their pants, force them around till we meet up on the other side."
Superman: "Explain 'acting crazy'."
Batman: "You know, curse and stuff."
Superman: "You want me to curse?"
Batman: "You don't have to mean it. It's just for show."
Superman: "Well, it won't be convincing. It doesn't sound natural when I curse."
Batman: "Just make noises, then."
Superman: "Explain 'noises'."
Batman: "Are you gonna do this or what?"
Superman: "No, I'm not."
Batman: "C'mon! Ok, on the count of three. One..."
Superman: "All right."
Batman: "..two... three!"

Superman: "Ahh! I'm insane with anger!

Superman: "I'm losing my mind! It's time for an ass-whupping!"

Superman: "I cursed."
Batman: "I heard."

 

[Violet Lantern]

Gordon: Is this true??
Dent: Yes..it's true...this man has no dick.

Dent: Well that's what I heard!

 

[Panthro]

KYLE REESE: "I leave this as a declaration of intent, so no one will be confused. One: "Si vis pacem, para bellum." Latin. Boot Camp Sergeant made us recite it like a prayer. 'Si vis pacem, para bellum - If you want peace, prepare for war.' Two: Frank Castle is dead. He died with his family. Three: in certain extreme situations, the law is inadequate. In order to shame its inadequacy, it is necessary to act outside the law. To pursue... natural justice. This is not vengeance. Revenge is not a valid motive, it's an emotional response. No, not vengeance. Punishment."

 

[Jack Bauer]

COTTON: It would have to be a 747.

SIDNEY: Why is that?

COTTON: Because in a 747, the pilot's up top, and the first class cabin's in the nose, so no one would walk through. But you'd have to buy out the entire cabin. And the first class flight attendant...

MICKEY: I bought the airline. It seemed neater.

 

[Vapor]

 

[Panthro]

PERSEUS: "There's something out there waiting for us, and it ain't no man. We're all gonna die."

In honor of someone else's caption from the old thread -

GUY ON LEFT: "Holy Jeez look at the butt on that."
GUY ON RIGHT: "Yeah. He must work out."

 

[kedrell]

Malcome: "Cole, do you like movies about gladiators?"

 

[Panthro]

SUPERMAN: "I know it was you Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!"

 

[kedrell]

Luke Skywalker: Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid, or something like that?
Darth Vader: Oh no, it's just that they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.

 

[Panthro]

DARTH VADER: "There Can Be Only One."

 

[axelbratoski]

I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that f***ed-up bar.​

 

[Panthro]

NIGHT OWL: "I'm Batman."

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

SUPERMAN: "I know it was you Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!"

This one gave me a good laugh.

and @kedrell, I remember laughing at your Batman/Superman/Signs mash up over on the batboards months ago, but couldn't imagine what possessed you to think of that until now.

 

[kedrell]

I honestly can't even remember which one that was now, but glad you enjoyed it.

Edit: Oh now I remember it, with superman swearing et al. All I can say is that sometimes ideas collide in weird ways in my brain.

 

[Panthro]

This one gave me a good laugh.

and @kedrell, I remember laughing at your Batman/Superman/Signs mash up over on the batboards months ago, but couldn't imagine what possessed you to think of that until now.

Thanks.

TOM CODY: "I aim to misbehave."

 

[Panthro]

SUPERMAN: "The Penis Is EVIL!!!"

 

[axelbratoski]

RAY WINSTONE: You're not really wearing that are you?
INDY: Wearing what?
RAY WINSTONE: The man purse. You actually gonna wear that or are you guys just f***in' with me?

 

[Panthro]

EL CID: "That's it... and look upon this moment. Savor it! Rejoice with great gladness! Great gladness! Remember it always, for you are joined by it. You are One, under the stars. Remember it well, then... this night, this great victory. So that in the years ahead, you can say, 'I was there that night, with Arthur, the King!' For it is the doom of men that they forget."

 

[Slushy]

Yo Adrian, I DID IT!

Those were $500 sunglasses, assh*le!

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't, I will look for you. I will find you and I will kill you!

This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the wh*res and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"...and I'll whisper "no".

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I've watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time...like tears in the rain.

Most people are so ungrateful to be alive. But not you. Not anymore.

You're born, you take sh**. You get out in the world, you take more sh**. You climb a little higher, you take less sh**. Till one day you're up in the rarefied atmosphere and you've forgotten what sh** even looks like. Welcome to the layer cake, son.

Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance in this life or the next.

YOU CANNOT PASS!

 

[Slushy]

You must leave her, brother. I was born 2,437 years ago. In that time, I've had three wives. The last was Shakiko, a Japanese Princess. When Shakiko died, I was shattered. I would save you that pain. Please, let Heather go.

Can I do this? Or do I look like some sort of gay superhero?

Wait, I have an idea! Call a locksmith!

Does it look like I give a damn?

What you lookin' at? You all a bunch of fu**ing assh*les. You know why? You don't have the guts to be what you wanna be? You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fu**ing fingers and say, "That's the bad guy." So... what that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy! Come on. The last time you gonna see a bad guy like this again, let me tell you. Come on. Make way for the bad guy. There's a bad guy comin' through! Better get outta his way!

Highway patrol. This is John Triton. We have officers down. Multiple assailants. They have a hostage...it's my wife!

I need names...and shots. Bartender!

Do you speak in English? Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?

1958. It's been traveling twenty-two years to get here. And now it's here. And it's either heads or tails. And you have to say. Call it.

I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species and I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment, but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You're a plague and we are the cure.

 

[Panthro]

RAMBO: "I Am The Ultimate Bad-Ass!"

TERMINATOR: "Satan reasons like a man but God thinks of eternity."