Nice guys DO finish last

[mightiest_mortal]

YaY another Emo thread.

Should be no problem, emotionally damaged girls are SO easy to take advantage of and manipulate.If your her best mate, and shes ****ed up anyway, the fact she really wouldnt want to lost you as a friend should be enough to guilt her into going out with you

 

[Dark Carnage]

She calls me every day, and every night… and we talk for roughly 3 hours a day. She talks to her boyfriend for about 10 minutes everyday (or some days not at all, because he doesn’t “feel like it”).

Yeah, girls don't do that with guys they are romatically interested in. You're her girlfriend. The Eunuch she moans to about the guy she really wants.

And putting her on a pedastal is the worst thing you could do. Men are meant to be the dominant half of the relationship, treating her like she's a million times better than you will not make her see you as a man worthy of her time and love.

 

[GunBlade]

Yeah, girls don't do that with guys they are romatically interested in.

Wrong..That shouldn't be the judge of it.

 

[jaguarr]

If you tell her your feelings, be fully prepared that she may give you the "But...we're just friends" speech, feel like you violated your friendship with her and then drift away leaving you with NO relationship with her whatsoever. She's been with this other guy for quite awhile and she's not going to suddenly jump into your arms upon hearing that you love her.

jag

 

[ck51100]

I need to vent a little, and this is the first place I thought of.

Here’s my situation.

I’m 20 years old, and I am in deeply love with a girl. She’s beautiful, like… AMAZINGLY gorgeous… and she’s also my best friend in the whole world. I’ve loved her since 6th grade… back before I even knew what love was. She doesn’t know how I feel about her.

The problem is, she has a boyfriend, and he is also my friend.

He treats her like absolute garbage.
He calls her “trash”.
He won’t return her calls.
He’s always too busy to be with her.
He never makes time for her.
He has cheated on her numerous times (and we know this).
He has been demanding her to have sex with him since the first month they were dating, and she’s been saying no ever since (which is why he cheats).

They’ve been together for 3 ½ years.

She won’t dump him. She’s afraid of being alone. She was abused as a child, so the abuse from her boyfriend makes her feel “normal”, because being treated like garbage is the only thing she’s ever known since childhood. If she were to be treated like gold... it would be a very different experience for her, and it would almost feel strange, since it’s against everything she was treated like when she was little.

The three of us go to separate colleges… but she is transferring to my college next year.

That makes me happy, but at the same time, it makes me nervous that I won’t be able to hide my feelings for her any more.

She calls me every day, and every night… and we talk for roughly 3 hours a day. She talks to her boyfriend for about 10 minutes everyday (or some days not at all, because he doesn’t “feel like it”).

She and I have a strong connection. She means the world to me (although I’m not sure the feeling is mutual). I’ve spent the night at her house numerous times (without her boyfriend knowing), and I am always there for her when she is down (and just there, period).

I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

I’d do anything for her. I wish she could know that I would treat her way better than this guy ever would. I would hold her, cherish her, kiss her, cuddle with her when she’s having a bad day… I would freakin’ love her until it made her sick. I would love her TOO MUCH... lol.

I wish she could know that she doesn’t have to be treated like garbage. I wish she could know that there is a guy right here who is head over heels for her.

She’s a virgin, and so am I… and I would gladly save myself for marriage with her. I’m saving myself for marriage anyway… but I wish it was her.

^^ Don’t take that in a sexual way… What I mean is… I wish I could make love to her, and let her know how much I love her, and how much she means to me… and that I’ll always cherish her and never put her down in any way.

I HATE it when guys show off and act stupid, saying things like “Yeah, I banged her brains out”.

I could never look at her in that way. She is such an amazing person, with a good soul, and a beautiful heart, and I could NEVER look at her as a sexual object worth only 5 minutes of pleasure. She’s so freakin’ gorgeous… she’s like a goddess… and I would gladly marry her and MAKE LOVE to her instead of just “have sex”. I disagree with anybody who is into violent sex, I think it’s absolutely ridiculous, and I think America as a culture looks at sex in all the WRONG ways.

She doesn’t know I feel this way. She doesn’t know that she would be treated like the queen she is if I was with her… and that I would put her high on her pedestal, and show off to the world that I’m the luckiest man in the universe for having such a gift from God.

But you see, the thing is… I can’t tell her these things.

She’s my best friend.

Two things could happen if I told her:

1.) She feels the same way, she dumps her boyfriend, and her and I live happily ever after.
2.) She DOESN’T feel the same way, and our friendship is strange forever, and possibly destroyed... because she now knows how I feel about her.

So, because I can’t tell her how I feel, she will remain to be treated like crap, and I will remain to have a heart that aches because I can’t be with her. Every time she calls me, and I see her name on my phone, my heart just ACHES at the fact that I have to listen to how this queen is being treated like garbage… and I can’t do a damn thing about it.

Nice guys finish last… and my life is a living hell because of it.


My question is… what would you do? Would you risk 8 years of friendship to tell her how you feel? Or would you keep it a secret forever and always be her best friend, without any consequences?

Help me.

That is the plot of every 1988 teen exploitation film ever. If only we could go back to 1988 and get Patrick Dempsey in the lead role!

 

[Harlekin]

You need to ask yourself one thing.

You're her best friend, but is she yours?




Hint: She's not.

 

[Immortalfire]

Superhero Hype.com, Dr. Phil ain't got nothing on us!

 

[Prison Mike]

Here's an idea. Why don't you watch the first Spider-Man movie and any episode of Smallville (seasons 1 & 2). Watch what Peter Parker/Clark Kent do in the same situation and follow suit. LOL

 

[Babs Gordon]

I think nice-guys is overly used, to be honest. It's a blanket statement. There are lots of nice boys that get girls... they just happen to be charming and funny and fun to hang out with too. I have dated three 'nice guys' and none them have ever and will ever finish last.

 

[Dark Carnage]

Wrong..That shouldn't be the judge of it.

You say I'm wrong, I can't say I'm right. I just simply think that if she really wanted him for anything for more than someone who'll always be there to listen to her go on and on for 3 hours no matter how inane the conversion, it would have happened by now.

And I'd like to throw into the mix that 'Nice Guy' is a misleading label. A lot of them are just acting that way because they think that if they are nice to a girl, she'll be nice in turn by letting him get in there. It's manipulative.

Real Nice Guys are more likely to get played and when they don't get what they thought they girl was going to give them, theyprobably end up making the vast portion of mysoginists.

So man up, and read Mode One.

 

[ck51100]

charming and funny and fun to hang out with too.

Sounds like me

 

[Movies205]

Make friends with your local funeral home because you sound like a rapist-in-waiting and your going to need an incinerator to get rid of the body

 

[Castlewood]

I think nice-guys is overly used, to be honest. It's a blanket statement. There are lots of nice boys that get girls... they just happen to be charming and funny and fun to hang out with too. I have dated three 'nice guys' and none them have ever and will ever finish last.

Yeah, but that's probably because they're hot, though... and that's all that matters in our society.

And I just totally realized.... I'm stuck in a John Hughes movie.





And.... to mightiest_mortal,

For the record... I'm not "emo" by any means. Emo people like to cut themselves, wear black clothes, put their long hair over one eye, and listen to crappy music like Panic at the Disco, My Chemical Romance, and any other crappy bands like Yellowcard on their iPods because the "world just doesn't understand them."

^^^ I am nowhere near that description. I have short hair, and I listen to Al Green, Stevie Wonder, and John Legend... and I don't cut myself. I wear bright colors, and I don't even own an iPod. So don't give me that "emo" bulls***. I laugh at emo people because they're attention ****es. I started this thread because I wanted ADVICE.... not because I wanted SHH to throw a pity party for me, and I like to turn all the lights off in my room and cry in the corner, write poetry, and watch Donnie Darko. Yeah... that's not me.

You can call me "hopeless romantic" all you like.... or you can call me a "total puss"... but don't call me "emo".

Since when was a guy professing his love for a girl considered "emo"? All of a sudden, everything is emo. Is a married couple emo too then, because they love each other?

Sheesh.

 

[Fran]

I've been in this same type of situation before... didn't end up good for me

But I told her how I felt (just to make me feel better). She didn't want a relationship, and at least it resolved that issue, and I eventually moved on. (This isn't about the two threads I made... before this.)

 

[Movies205]

What the **** do you know about love? You a chump ass *****! Seriously... "All are society cares about is someone being hot" WTF? 10 to 1 this girl your in love with is a hottie. And case in point to women, there are few truely ugly women out there, it simply you haven't been able to identify your look, same probably goes for guy... If your a depressing self-loather your going be unattractive, whether people want to admit it or not, personality goes a long way. Your not in love, your lusting for what you can't have. Also the reason your such a good friend is as jag said you want get laid. So stop being a ****in ***** and grow up... Oh and remember the comment about the funeral home since you sound like a rapist

 

[StrainedEyes]

You were my sun
You were my earth
But you didn't know all the ways I loved you, no
So you took a chance
And made other plans
But I bet you didn't think that they would come crashing down, no

You don't have to say, what you did,
I already know, I found out from him
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
And don't it make you sad about it

You told me you loved me
Why did you leave me, all alone
Now you tell me you need me
When you call me, on the phone
Girl I refuse, you must have me confused
With some other guy
Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn
To cry, cry me a river
Cry me a river-er
Cry me a river
Cry me a river-er, yea yea

I know that they say
That somethings are better left unsaid
It wasn't like you only talked to him and you know it
(Don't act like you don't know it)
All of these things people told me
Keep messing with my head
(Messing with my head)
You should've picked honesty
Then you may not have blown it
(Yea..)

You don't have to say, what you did,
(Don't have to say, what you did)
I already know, I found out from him
(I already know, uh)
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
(No chance, you and me)
And don't it make you sad about it

You told me you loved me
Why did you leave me, all alone
(All alone)
Now you tell me you need me
When you call me, on the phone
(When you call me on the phone)
Girl I refuse, you must have me confused
With some other guy
(I'm not like them baby)
Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn
(It's your turn)
To cry, cry me a river
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river-er
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river
(Baby go on and just)
Cry me a river-er, yea yea

Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be leaving
Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be leaving
Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be leaving
Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be... leaving

You don't have to say, what you did,
(Don't have to say, what you did)
I already know, I found out from him
(I already know, uh)
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
(No chance, you and me)
And don't it make you sad about it

Cry me a river
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river-er
(Baby go on and just)
Cry me a river
(You can go on and just)
Cry me a river-er, yea yea

Cry me a river
(Baby go on and just)
Cry me a river-er
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river
(Cause I've already cried)
Cry me a river-er, yea yea
(Ain't gonna cry no more, yea-yea)

Cry me a river
Cry me a river, oh
Cry me a river, oh
Cry me a river, oh

Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)

Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river
(Cry me, cry me)

There are plenty of fish in the sea. Seriously just move on. I felt the same stuff in highschool, pined over this one perfect girl who was taken blah blah. Long story short during that time I found someone else who turned out to be even better.

 

[Erzengel]

Two things could happen if I told her:

1.) She feels the same way, she dumps her boyfriend, and her and I live happily ever after.
2.) She DOESN’T feel the same way, and our friendship is strange forever, and possibly destroyed... because she now knows how I feel about her.

Welcome to the Brotherhood. Almost every guy goes through this. It's a right of passage.

Life is all about chances and risks and what you are willing to lose.

On one hand, could you live with just being friends with her and always wonder what if?

Are you settling for just being your friend? Never settle.

Lastly, if you meet someone else do you really think you will still be best friends with this girl? Your friendship will drift and you will lose something you were desperate to keep in the first place.

My advice is to tell her how you feel and let the chips fall where they may. You are doing a disservice to her by keeping these feelings in and you might want to question your own motives of being friends with her. Is it really cause you just want to be friends or are you hoping for more?

 

[Fran]

Welcome to the Brotherhood. Almost every guy goes through this. It's a right of passage.

Life is all about chances and risks and what you are willing to lose.

On one hand, could you live with just being friends with her and always wonder what if?

Are you settling for just being your friend? Never settle.

Lastly, if you meet someone else do you really think you will still be best friends with this girl? Your friendship will drift and you will lose something you were desperate to keep in the first place.

My advice is to tell her how you feel and let the chips fall where they may. You are doing a disservice to her by keeping these feelings in and you might want to question your own motives of being friends with her. Is it really cause you just want to be friends or are you hoping for more?

Erz, I was just about to say the same things, for the most part.

Especially the "What if?" part.

 

[Erzengel]

On a side note: Nice guys finish last.

"I do everything for this girl. I listen to her ***** about her boyfriend. I go shopping with her. I help her whenever she needs it. Why doesn't she look at me that way?"

LOL.

Yeah, check your motives. If you are only doing "nice" things for a girl for some ulterior motive, than maybe you aren't that "nice" of a guy.

 

[Castlewood]

What the **** do you know about love? You a chump ass *****! Seriously... "All are society cares about is someone being hot" WTF? 10 to 1 this girl your in love with is a hottie. And case in point to women, there are few truely ugly women out there, it simply you haven't been able to identify your look, same probably goes for guy... If your a depressing self-loather your going be unattractive, whether people want to admit it or not, personality goes a long way. Your not in love, your lusting for what you can't have. Also the reason your such a good friend is as jag said you want get laid. So stop being a ****in ***** and grow up... Oh and remember the comment about the funeral home since you sound like a rapist

This is so ridiculous.... Can someone just delete this thread now?

Seriously... delete this thread... close it. This is getting absolutely ridiculous. People are immature and stupid, and they like to assume things without even knowing a damn thing about someone.

Mods... I'm asking, as the starter of this thread.... delete it.

 

[Fran]

On a side note: Nice guys finish last.

"I do everything for this girl. I listen to her ***** about her boyfriend. I go shopping with her. I help her whenever she needs it. Why doesn't she look at me that way?"

LOL.

Yeah, check your motives. If you are only doing "nice" things for a girl for some ulterior motive, than maybe you aren't that "nice" of a guy.

That is kinda odd, the phone calling part/shopping.

For one thing, I have the smallest Nextel plan. I don't really like to talk on the phone. I like to talk to the person face-to-face.

And I don't really like to spend too much time at malls shopping, so...

 

[Fran]

This is so ridiculous.... Can someone just delete this thread now?

Seriously... delete this thread... close it. This is getting absolutely ridiculous. People are immature and stupid, and they like to assume things without even knowing a damn thing about someone.

Mods... I'm asking, as the starter of this thread.... delete it.

So you're not gonna listen to actual advice?

 

[Erzengel]

That is kinda odd, the phone calling part/shopping.

For one thing, I have the smallest Nextel plan. I don't really like to talk on the phone. I like to talk to the person face-to-face.

And I don't really like to spend too much time at malls shopping, so...

But you would. You would.

 

[Erzengel]

This is so ridiculous.... Can someone just delete this thread now?

Seriously... delete this thread... close it. This is getting absolutely ridiculous. People are immature and stupid, and they like to assume things without even knowing a damn thing about someone.

Mods... I'm asking, as the starter of this thread.... delete it.

First give me validation that I'm right.

 

[Fran]

If I had a GIRLFRIEND, yes. No problem at all.