Nice guys finish last

[LOBO3315a]

Unfortunately those feelings tend to fade with time. Learning vs instinct is kind of important, in that if you say that humans are a monogomous species, where that behavior comes from is relivant.

 

[SuperFerret]

Unfortunately thse feelings tend to fade with time.

"Tend" seems to imply that that's the majority, which if given the right person, I doubt it does, and even if it does, wouldn't that be yet another result of humans living unnaturally long lives nowadays?

By all evidence I've seen, humanity is an emotionally monogamous species. If for no other reason than the fact that a majority of human cultures have and support marriage.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Who says divorce isn't possible if monogamy is the norm?

Who says monogamy is the norm. Over 50% (sometimes as high as 60%) of all marriage results in divorce, and almost all humans have multiple sex partners, especially the males. Our genetic make-up actually supports this. The way male sperm works actually makes it more benefitially for males to have sex with as many partners as possible because the rate of insemenation is so remote that by sticking with one mate you actually decrease your chances of producing viable offspring. Moreover, you move down the food chain to our next closest relative; the Chimp and they do it all over the place, and are not monogamous. Group sex, oral sex, multiple males, multiple females, are all very common sex practices among chimpazees. Moreover marriage, in early human civilization only seemed to apply to lower classes. In almost all cultures those who are the best at competing for resources are rarely monogamous.

 

[SuperFerret]

Fine. You're right, humans aren't SEXUALLY monogamous.

 

[Danalys]

It's statistically dubious at best that humans are a inherently 'monogamous' species. I know of a few species that violently defend monogamy and we are certainly no where near them (quite a few birds will literally kill anyone who cheats, even slightly). In fact I read an essay once that concluded that males are rewarded for infidelity and spreading their seed around in most human cultures.

humans used to do that but we got to the point were someone's usefulness out weighed the indignation.

 

[JAK®]

You know what else is recent? The idea that women are equal to men.

 

[SuperFerret]

Learning vs instinct is kind of important, in that if you say that humans are a monogomous species, where that behavior comes from is relivant.

It's learned then, because it's not breathing, crying, grasping or sucking.

 

[Danalys]

Who says monogamy is the norm. Over 50% (sometimes as high as 60%) of all marriage results in divorce, and almost all humans have multiple sex partners, especially the males. Our genetic make-up actually supports this. The way male sperm works actually makes it more benefitially for males to have sex with as many partners as possible because the rate of insemenation is so remote that by sticking with one mate you actually decrease your chances of producing viable offspring. Moreover, you move down the food chain to our next closest relative; the Chimp and they do it all over the place, and are not monogamous. Group sex, oral sex, multiple males, multiple females, are all very common sex practices among chimpazees. Moreover marriage, in early human civilization only seemed to apply to lower classes. In almost all cultures those who are the best at competing for resources are rarely monogamous.

divorce rates can be inflated by those that marry and then divorce multiple times.

 

[SuperFerret]

You know what else is recent? The idea that women are equal to men.

Depends on the society.

 

[SpeterMan3]

I'm a nice guy.. but I'm pretty awesome (I'm told), so I usually finish first...

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

You know what else is recent? The idea that women are equal to men.

You know what else is recent; Jersey Shore season 3. I'm certainly not advocating going back to rocks and sticks, but I'm also not saying the way we currently view marriage is the best or only way to view it either.

 

[Danalys]

You know what else is recent? The idea that women are equal to men.

recentness is irrelevant it's the prevalence through out our history including unrecorded that best illuminates our nature.

 

[SuperFerret]

And how do we (as a unanimous collective) currently view marriage?

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Unfortunately those feelings tend to fade with time. Learning vs instinct is kind of important, in that if you say that humans are a monogomous species, where that behavior comes from is relivant.

It's one thing to claim humans can learn to be monogamous, or certain societies have supported/taught monogamy, it's another thing to claim we're a monogamous species: that's just plain false.

 

[JAK®]

I think the most damaging aspect of marriage in modern society is the idea that you need to do it quickly. That's why people get married to the wrong people.

 

[SuperFerret]

It's one thing to claim humans can learn to be monogamous, or certain societies have supported/taught monogamy, it's another thing to claim we're a monogamous species: that's just plain false.

We're an emotionally monogamous species because it's taught in most of the societies that our species has come up with.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

And how do we (as a unanimous collective) currently view marriage?

We're kind of moving into ethnocentrism. For the record though, we're moving away from it according to some.

 

[Danalys]

And how do we (as a unanimous collective) currently view marriage?

i think most see it as that thing they are meant to do. i see it as something different.

monogamy =/= marriage

 

[LOBO3315a]

recentness is irrelevant it's the prevalence through out our history including unrecorded that best illuminates our nature.

Danalys, that's actually pretty smart.
Now emotional monogomy: Is it possible to love 2 people equally? Or will someone always be left out?

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

We're an emotionally monogamous species because it's taught in most of the societies that our species has come up with.

Polygamy is more common in humans actually.

 

[Danalys]

you can have love for many and it doesn't matter if it's not equal just that it's enough. and while this maybe enough for some it will not be for others.

 

[SuperFerret]

I'm still not seeing proof of this. And even among polygamists, they have their "favorites" that they feel more of a connection to.

 

[JAK®]

I'm still not seeing proof of this. And even among polygamists, they have their "favorites" that they feel more of a connection to.

There's the concept of a 'best friend' as well.

 

[SuperFerret]

Yeah, and guess what? That's a form of monogamous behaviour.

 

[Team Andino]

I am far from a pushover. I'm very opinionated and will speak my mind...but I don't like backstabbing or other things like that.

I'm about the same Marx, I had this girl who was as big a nerd as I was and actually really cute. She loved my ridiculous sense of humor and we got along great. I chat with her to see about maybe dating and she tells me she can't see herself dating me because "I'm to nice a guy". I was/still am confused by her statement. She tells me that she wouldn't trust herself to not break my heart as if she wouldn't be able to resist the urge to cheat or something along the lines. She then goes on a week later an starts dating this creep who I warned her was no good for her but she said that "they had such a connection". A week later she tells me how she found out he was using her has the girl he was using to cheat on his current girlfriend.

I hate it, the only thing that keeps me strong mentally at times is I'll use Bruce's motto in Batman Begins as to why I don't/can't sink to others levels. "That's why it's so important, it separates us from them"