Nice guys finish last

[Spider-Who?]

Funny thing about marriage vows. They generally say you will love, honor, and cherish that person, forsaking all others, as long as you both shall live *ahem*. Sorry, threw up in my mouth a bit, there.

It never says anything about not having sex with other people. You can be monogomous, and not married, why is the inverse such an issue with most people?

Sex isn't some sort of sacred act that indicates you love, honor, and cherish that person more than someone else. It can be an indicator, but not always.

I think jealousy is the driving factor in why most people stay monogomous. Either their spouses, or their own.

Congratulations. You win the Hype's "I have no ****ing clue what I'm talking about" award.

 

[Danalys]

Sure, but cheating because you're "not satisfied" is like saying your partner was simply a sex toy and you moved on to the next model.

it's a bad reason to cheat but what isn't. but being dissatisfied because of walls put up, cutting off part of someone you love is perfectly natural.

 

[Anita18]

it's a bad reason to cheat but what isn't. but being dissatisfied because of walls put up, cutting off part of someone you love is perfectly natural.

Er, what?

Were you around when Lorena Bobbitt was famous?

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Congratulations. You win the Hype's "I have no ****ing clue what I'm talking about" award.

I think you'd be surprised how many people have open marriages or marriages that are not entirely monogamous.

 

[Danalys]

walls cut off parts of cities. that's that analogy. applying it to people's being including their sexuality. so someone's dissatisfied cos they can't get to the corner shop anymore.

 

[AndThePickles]

I am monogamous by choice. It isn't because my life isn't exciting, and I have PLENTY of people interested in sleeping with me or dating me. I’ve decided to be monogamous with my significant other because I love him and have chosen to stay committed to him. A big part of keeping your sex life healthy is communication - if you're unhappy or want something, you have to speak up.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Europe seemed more 'sexually uninhibited' than the United States, albeit my exposure to those countries aren't great. My roommate spent a good year overseas though and more or less confirmed my suspicions. I don't think I'd like living in some hedonistic society, yet I think America needs to loosen up a whole lot more.

 

[E-Man]

Er, what?

Were you around when Lorena Bobbitt was famous?

You just had to go and bring that up, didn't you? Every time I see that name I cry two tears in a bucket.

 

[Anita18]

I am monogamous by choice. It isn't because my life isn't exciting, and I have PLENTY of people interested in sleeping with me or dating me. I’ve decided to be monogamous with my significant other because I love him and have chosen to stay committed to him. A big part of keeping your sex life healthy is communication - if you're unhappy or want something, you have to speak up.

Seriously. Your partner can't just know what you want by reading your mind!

 

[Danalys]

You just had to go and bring that up, didn't you? Every time I see that name I cry two tears in a bucket.

i just get annoyed that there was some support for that act.

 

[Hound55]

But I think it really loudly in my head...

 

[Danalys]

Seriously. Your partner can't just know what you want by reading your mind!

i've known some who seem to expect that.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I am monogamous by choice. It isn't because my life isn't exciting, and I have PLENTY of people interested in sleeping with me or dating me. I’ve decided to be monogamous with my significant other because I love him and have chosen to stay committed to him. A big part of keeping your sex life healthy is communication - if you're unhappy or want something, you have to speak up.

No one is saying you aren't. I agree with the last part of the post especially, Pickles, communication is key. You can't keep desires hidden (which goes back to that whole 'nice guy' discussion), and if there is consequences to those desires, so be it, they would've come out eventually (possibly in a more unhealthy way). As for the monogamy thing. First, humans are supposedly monogamous by nature. Second, we're not talking about any one's particular circumstance, we're talking about things in general. Third, I think the Dane Cook reference of your screenname has gone out of style (I was just thinking today -- when the last time Dane Cook did anything?)

 

[LOBO3315a]

Congratulations. You win the Hype's "I have no ****ing clue what I'm talking about" award.

I think you'd be surprised how many people have open marriages or marriages that are not entirely monogamous.

Yeah, I have a lot of friends that live that way. Not that I know what I'm talking about or anything.

What about a woman who wants to be a mom (Carry a baby to full term, and birth) who marrys a guy, whom she loves, honors and cherishes but finds out after several years of marriage that he can't father children? Should she not have her dream, simply because he has a medical condition? If they decide as a couple, to find a guy to help them father a child that they can raise, and everyone is in agreement, then how is it wrong?

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

This is how I'd describe an open marriage: Suppose you and your wife really love baseball, you spend a lot of your time on baseball, and like to spend time with other people who enjoy baseball. Now just replace baseball with casual sex.

 

[SpideyVille]

I guess I must be old-fashioned because I've always thought it was best to have sex with the one you're committed to.

 

[Spider-Who?]

Yeah, I have a lot of friends that live that way. Not that I know what I'm talking about or anything.

What about a woman who wants to be a mom (Carry a baby to full term, and birth) who marrys a guy, whom she loves, honors and cherishes but finds out after several years of marriage that he can't father children? Should she not have her dream, simply because he has a medical condition? If they decide as a couple, to find a guy to help them father a child that they can raise, and everyone is in agreement, then how is it wrong?

Artificial insemination is not wrong.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Artificial insemination is not wrong.

I still don't understand how an open marriage is wrong if that's what both people want out of the relationship

 

[JAK®]

In theory polygamous relationships should work if everyone involved is okay with it but in practice, too many cooks spoils the broth.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I guess I must be old-fashioned because I've always thought it was best to have sex with the one you're committed to.

Actually you'd probably be considered new wave. Marriage for love (with no adultery whatsoever) is a relatively new concept as far as human history goes.

 

[Spider-Who?]

I still don't understand how an open marriage is wrong if that's what both people want out of the relationship

If that's what both parties want, that's they're call (I, personally still consider it a moral blunder). But it doesn't negate the purpose of marriage, and it certainly doesn't quantify LOBO's assertion that marriage has loops holes that circumvent the monogamy.

 

[SpideyVille]

I still don't understand how an open marriage is wrong if that's what both people want out of the relationship

Well if that's what both want and agree to, then that's fine. I'd just hate to be the other guy that's seeing the girl in the open relationship.

 

[LOBO3315a]

Artificial insemination is not wrong.

It is, however somewhat expensive. The alternative, isn't.

If that's what both parties want, that's they're call (I, personally still consider it a moral blunder). But it doesn't negate the purpose of marriage, and it certainly doesn't quantify LOBO's assertion that marriage has loops holes that circumvent the monogamy.

And the people that I know that have happy marriages, yet are not monogomous must not know what they are talking about either?

 

[SpideyVille]

Actually you'd probably be considered new wave. Marriage for love (with no adultery whatsoever) is a relatively new concept as far as human history goes.

Well I say old-fashioned because most young people that I know today, as well as people my age, don't believe in the same thing I do in terms of what I was always thought was right when it comes to dating and relationships. Though I guess I can't really speak for people older than me since I wasn't alive in generations before mine.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

If that's what both parties want, that's they're call (I, personally still consider it a moral blunder).

That's not really your or my call to make. The most f***ed up marriage I've encountered ever was a Christian couple who saved themselves and married out of love. They had all sorts of problems, she got addicted to drugs, he's forced her to stay with him by doing this sh** with their money so it's really hard for them to get divorced. It's just a mess. The one open couple I know couldn't be happier.

But it doesn't negate the purpose of marriage

Marriage is a religious thing bud. As far as the purpose, I think that's up to the couple involved. Historically the purpose was so that father's did not have to sell their daughters into prostitution, and could gain some economic benefit from them seeing as they weren't sons. Marriage for love is a completely new concept.

and it certainly doesn't quantify LOBO's assertion that marriage has loops holes that circumvent the monogamy.

But he's right, it does.