Not-At-All-Original-Publications Presents: Spammers in Space!

[DBella]

Excellent update, bored. You are a very talented writer and definitely one of my favorites. I really enjoy your style of writing and your wit. I wish it will not take you too long to post the next chapter.

 

[bored]

Hey guys, I should just mention that I'm a somewhat busy guy (aka: a college student), so that's why I take so long in between updates. At the end of the day, I don't always know what to write. Also, I've been, for the past year and a half or so, been working on writing a play, sort of on-and-off, so sometimes I like to save my creative juices for that.

-----------------------------


bored: Well, I feel spiritually refreshed. Don't you guys?

Abaddon: Sure.

Dog Lips: Of course. If by 'spiritually refreshed', you mean 'spiritiually satisfied from ogling a hot starlet'.

bored: You know, there are plenty of things you could have said that would actually be funny, and that wasn't one of them.

Dog Lips: Don't care. I'm a Mod now, and that means I'm funny.

Abaddon: Not in the good way.

Dog Lips: Hey! .... ....

bored: Should we get to the Bridge, then?

Dog Lips: I guess.

As the trio made their way to the Bridge, they encountered Twylight.

Twylight: Hey, guys.

Abaddon: Hello, my sweet.

Twylight: No.

Abaddon: What?

Twylight: Just no.

Abaddon: No what?

Dog Lips: Dude, not now. Trust me on this. I know women.

Twylight: How many?

bored: You're in a bad mood, Twy.

Twylight: You say that like it's new. Dog, your fellow Moderators sent me to get chips for them. Where would those be?

Dog Lips: The cafeteria, I'd assume.

Twylight: Oh, dammit. I do not want to have to deal with Sum and his craziness right now.

Abaddon: I'llgogetthemforyouTwylight!

Twylight: I'll be fine, Abaddon. Hey, do you guys know who this new guy is?

Dog Lips: New guy?

Twylight: Yeah. His name's enterthemadness. I figured he was part of the camera crew at first, but I don't remember ever seeing him with them.

Dog Lips: I don't know what to tell you. Ask Malice when you bring him the chips. By the way, go do that.

Twylight rolled her eyes, as she often did, and left them.

Abaddon: Y-you... You drove her away .

Dog Lips: Her only job in this mission is to be at the beck and call of the Mods. I can do what I want.

bored: What's happening to you, Dog? You've become mad with power.

Dog Lips: Duh.

bored: Okay, as long as you admit it.

Maxwell's Demon: And, scene! Bored, that last bit was gold.

bored: Wtf?

sinewave: We've been following you.

Dread: You got a problem with that, you go to Canada, whiny babies!

Maxwell's Demon: Ignore him. Hey, do you mind if we edit out some of that conversation with Twylight for the movie? Our producers always get on us about putting too many girls in French maid outfits in our docs.

Abaddon: If we're in the movie, where's the catering table?

LarryLegend: Yo!

Abaddon: Oh, awesome.



Meanwhile, somewhere near Saturn......

Master Bruce: I wonder how enterthemadness is doing?

FunBobPants: You could always use the radio we gave him.

Master Bruce: Eh, I prefer being held in suspense. How long until we get close to that station?

FunBobPants: Several days, Master. We haven't even crossed the asteroid belt yet.

Master Bruce: Aw. In that case, I demand entertainment! Send in Musclesforsupes!

FunBobPants pressed a button with a picture of a burger on it. A door opened, and a fat man waddled in.

Musclesforsupes: You called?

Master Bruce: Indeed. Muscles, I demand you do the Truffle Shuffle!

Musclesforsupes: As you wish.

 

[Batman]

*claps*

Well done. Very well done.




...I was talking about the truffle shuffle. But the chapter was good too.

 

[hippie_hunter]

Is my character still in "the madness?"

 

[enterthemadness]

Good chapter, and yes Hippie...you are in the madness. Good luck trying to get out.

 

[bored]

*this is not an update sorry if that's disappointing*

I'd just like to point out that the day after I have Musclesforsupes cameo in the story, he makes his triumphant return to the Hype. Am I good or what?

 

[bored]

Sorry it took so long to post again. Things in bored's life have been rather crappy of late, and his heart really wasn't in writing this.

-------------------------

Karem-Knight: That horrible thing could lurk about anywhere! We must be ever vigilant.

Mr. Thing: Dude, get out the stall. I'm trying to take a crap.

Karem-Knight slipped out from under the door, and left the bathroom.

Karem-Knight: Mr. Thing appears to be safe, ladies. And what of the hallway?

DBella: We're fine, KK. I am a little concerned about how we haven't seen anybody, though. Did that Madness goon get them all already?

Holly Goodhead: Maybe. I hope the security cameras caught when he found TheSumofGod.

Twylight: Bella, Holly, what's up?

DBella: Twy!

Twylight: Last I checked. I'm getting chips for the Mods. Why aren't you on the Bridge?

Holly Goodhead: We were looking for other survivors.

Twylight: Huh?

DBella: Well, nobody's died, as far as we know-



Meanwhile, in that room where Brett Spiner was being kept.

Brett Spiner: Must...end...life....



DBella: -but this thing called enterthemadness keeps attacking crew members, and driving them insane. It got Zev and Hippie Hunter, along with a few other people.

Twylight: Really? Wow, I like that guy more and more.

DBella: What?

Twylight: Enterthemadness. The new guy. I ran into him a little while ago. I was wondering what his deal was.

DBella: And he didn't attack you?

Twylight: No. Did flirt a little, though. Whatever brand of cologne he wears, it's fantastic.

Holly Goodhead: Where did you see him?

Twylight: Near the Mods little 'secret fort' room. It's just a water-slide, by the way.

Karem-Knight: The mystery is finally solved!

Twylight: Sure.

Mr. Thing exited the restroom.

Mr. Thing: Oh man, I hope nobody needed weapons, 'cuz I just dropped a bomb!

Twylight: Yeah, ew. I'm going to the kitchen to get those chips.



Meanwhile, in the kitchen...

TheSumofGod: So you're telling me the Reptilians gave up universal domination years ago and instead opted to open a chain of space-rest-areas?

enterthemadness: Yeah. They used to be so much fun. Bunch of sell-outs, if you ask me.



Bored, Abaddon, and Dog Lips finally made it to the Bridge.

bored: Hello?

Abaddon: DBella? Hippie Hunter?

Dog Lips: Remember, if they're dead, it's not my fault. It's the fault of whichever one fell victim to Space Cabin Fever.

Abaddon: I thought that was just a porn movie.

Dog Lips: Nope, real condition.

Abaddon: Are you sure, because I remember this one time we were hanging out at your place, and-

Dog Lips: It's a real condition, Abs!

 

[enterthemadness]

Nice update, Bored. Hope your life gets better.

 

[bored]

Before reading this newest bit of unparalelled hilarity, what does everyone think of an idea I had? I mentioned earlier that I was writing a play. I recently came up with an idea for another one, a satire of internet message boards. I've started planning it as a loose adaptation of "Hype World: An Epic", the first "Hype fic" I wrote. The working title is "1337". Could it work?

--------------------------------------

Twylight: Jag, you there?

Jaguarr: I am Upside-Down-Banana-Steak-Girl!

Jag

Twylight: Huh?

LarryLegend: Moooo!!!!

LL headbutted Twy, knocking her over.

Twylight: Hey! What the hell, Larry?

LarryLegend: Mooo!!!!

Twylight: I can't believe I'm travelling to Mars with you people.

TheSumofGod: Who's that?

Twylight: Easy, Sum, it's just me. The Mods sent me to get chips for them.

TheSumofGod: All we have left are sun chips.

Twylight: What?

TheSumofGod: J Alba's Lover took everything else to his little chapel. He says it's part of some sort of holy sacrament for him. Little nut, huh?

Twylight: If you say it, it must be true. Just give me a bag.



Maxwell's Demon: Who is that, exactly? Hey, Corinthian, what's his name?

Corinthian: Que?

enterthemadness: Would you mean me?

Maxwell's Demon: Yeah. You're not all that familiar.

enterthemadness: I would think not.

Corinthian: Eh man, you, uh, you are, you know, el intruso, no?

enterthemadness: I am-

Dread: You're in front of the lense, jerk! I'm trying to get some shots of sinewave over there, and all I'm seeing is your ass!

enterthemadness: There are those who would kill to be in your position, camera-man. Why do you not appreciate it?

Dread: You think I'm into that kind of thing? Does this look like "Brokeback Spacecraft" to you?

Maxwell's Demon: We screened our last movie on Brokeback Spacecraft.

enterthemadness: Silence! As you are aboard this ship, and not a cute girl in a French maid's uniform or that cook with lots of interesting things to say, you must face my wrath.

sinewave: Huh?

enterthemadness: Prepare to enter.... THE MADNESS!

Corinthian: Que?

enterthemadness: Ah, yes, eintragen... die verrücktheit!

Corinthian: Que?

enterthemadness: No? Well then, 狂気を書き入れなさい!

Corinthian: You're loco, ese.

enterthemadness: Dammit. How about: écrire... la folie!

Corinthian: Nada.

enterthemadness: Where the hell are you from, Earthling?

Corinthian: Oh, yeah, I'm from Mexico.

enterthemadness: Where?

Corinthian: It's south of Los Estados Unidos.

enterthemadness: What?

Corinthian: America.

enterthemadness: Okay then. What do they speak there?

Corinthian: Espanol.

enterthemadness: Never heard of it.

Corinthian: Really?

enterthemadness: Really. How do you say "enter" in this Espanol of yours?

Corinthian: I'm not going to be telling you, Senor Evil Person.

enterthemadness: Very well then, I'll have to drive you to the depths of madness another way.

Enterthemadness grabbed Corinthian, and slammed him against the wall, then duct-taped him there.

enterthemadness: Now, suffer!

He set up a rack that held an open book in front of Corinthian's face.

Corinthian: No! No!

enterthemadness: Haha, yes! The hardcover "House of M"!

Corinthian: No! So stupid! So stupid!

enterthemadness: I'll leave you to your own devices.

The sound of Corinthian's horrified screams echoed throughout the corridors.

 

[Flexo]

You godless monster.

 

[Mee]

Hold me Flexo, I'm scared.

 

[Abaddon]

It could work, but you'd have to satire the satire.

 

[hippie_hunter]

You BASTARDO

 

[Flexo]

Hold me Flexo, I'm scared.

It's okay. It's... okay.

 

[enterthemadness]

my character is a badass fool. Good chapter.

Why call it 1337?

 

[bored]

1337="Leet".

And Abaddon, what exactly did you mean? It'd be satiring message boards, not that story I wrote.

 

[Abaddon]

I'm Just Confused As To How It Would Work.

 

[enterthemadness]

I'm Just Confused As To How It Would Work.

where's the jag to end your post? did you stop doing that?

 

[Abaddon]

I think you have me confused with someone else.

 

[bored]

Basically, it'd be a rather odd comedy set in an internet message board. People would often use "leet-speak" terms ("omg", "teh suck", etc.), usually at awkward moments, people would have their avatars on the fronts of their shirts, things like that.

 

[Abaddon]

k thx, gotcha.

 

[Mr Sparkle]

Bored never puts me in these.
must've been that time I told him he was dead to me.
but I was joking

 

[Fran]

Damnit, I demand at least a cameo appearance!

 

[bored]

Must focus... hatred... of Cleveland Browns.... into writing....

It's karma for bashing Ohio in one of my other stories, isn't it? The Chiefs will rise again, dammit!


--------------------------------------


Dog Lips sniffed the air.

Dog Lips: Hey, do you guys hear that?

bored: Don't you mean "smell that"?

Dog Lips: No, why would I? Listen to that sound. Someone is screaming.

Abaddon: Why were you sniffing?

Dog Lips: Heh, just calling attention to something else.

Abaddon furrowed his brow, took a whiff, and fell to his knees.

Abaddon: Dude!

bored: Wow, now that's a reaction.

Dog Lips: The Dog scores!

Abaddon: Bored, how is that smell not crippling you?

bored: Eh, heheh...

Abaddon: Boooored?

bored: Let's just say I got credited with the assist.

Abaddon: There is no God.



Meanwhile, in Hawaii....

God: What's that, Carol? We lost Abaddon? How? Really? Damn, I've got meet those two.



bored: Anyway, back on topic, what did you hear, Dog?

Dog Lips: Screaming. With an accent.

bored: What kind of accent?

Dog Lips: A hispanic accent.

Abaddon: You can hear an accent in screams?

Dog Lips: Dogs have hyper-sensitive hearing.

Abaddon: But you're not a dog. That's just your name.

Dog Lips: Well, that and I like to sniff butts when I first meet people.

bored: Who do we know who would scream with a hispanic accent?

Abaddon: Twylight?

Dog Lips: No.

bored: Sinewave?

Dog Lips: No.

Abaddon: Abaddon?

bored and Dog Lips:

Abaddon: What?

bored: What about Jaguarr?

Dog Lips: No. He'd have said his name by now.

Abaddon: Twylight?

bored and Dog Lips: NO!

Dog Lips: Well, remembering the No-Spaniards-In-Space Act of 2010, we know they have to be Central or South American.

bored: I thought they repealed that law after Antonio Banderas saved Christmas..

Dog Lips: No, that was just to fool the media. Hmmm... Much as I hate walking anywhere, since that requires physical exertion, I think we should investigate. Bored, give me a piggy-back ride.

bored: What?

Dog Lips jumped onto his back.

Dog Lips: High-ho, Silver!




Meanwhile, near the asteroid belt...

FunBobPants: Sir, the other crew members and I have been thinking, and-

Master Bruce: Other crew members? So it's not just you and Erundur?

FunBobPants: No, sir. Anyway, we've all really enjoyed serving under you, and we thought we'd get you a present.

Mr. Sparkle and BadgerPhil came into Master Bruce's chamber (stop snickering!), wheeling a giant cake. It was covered in black frosting, with Batman candles on top.

Master Bruce: Oooh, delightful!

BadgerPhil: Just wait until you see the filling!

He stepped away from the cake.

BadgerPhil: *achem* I said, "Just wait until you see the filling"!

Master Bruce: Should we not cut the cake and eat the outer pieces before concerning ourselves with the filling?

Mr. Sparkle: Crap.

The top of the cake began shaking. Slowly, somebody emerged from the cake.

TheManofBat: Hiya!

FunBobPants: ManofBat? What happened to the stripper?

TheManofBat: Stripper? I thought you said "Stryper".

He stood up, revealing a yellow and black jumpsuit.

FunBobPants: Dooohhh....

TheManofBats: Oop-see!

Master Bruce: Oh, ManofBat, will you ever learn?

Master Bruce and underlings: *warm, hearty laughter*

 

[enterthemadness]

Meanwhile, in Hawaii....

God: What's that, Carol? We lost Abaddon? How? Really? Damn, I've got meet those two.

I wanna see more of this guy. good chapter.