*Official* Relationship Advice Thread Strikes Back

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lol, wow I certainly didn't expect a 3 page debate to arise out of this.

My 2 cents is that when my mom and dad met, my dad already had a child from a previous marriage. My mom didn't let that stop her from getting with my dad. They are happily married now for 28 years, I was born - into a very happy and healthy family environment - and everything turned out okay.

Sure, not all situations like that turn out okay, but they can. I'm not inherently against dating a girl who has a child. It just depends on if that's a responsibility that I can take on. Honestly, that's one of those things that I'll never know until I'm in the situation. I've had more than a couple of my friends get into relationships with someone who already had children and it was never a problem.

And to be honest, we're not talking about a relationship yet anyways. I think she's cute, and she's a blast to be around. She makes me laugh -constantly- when I'm around her. I think she's interested in me too. That's about all I know right now. I'm still trying to find out ways for her and I to get to know each other better. We're not quite at the "relationship" stage yet. I'm not even sure that her and I are in the "talking" stage yet.
 
She's not necessarily a girl with a child though, she's a girl with family responsibilities.

Also why can't the child's parents take care of the child? :huh:
 
She's not necessarily a girl with a child though, she's a girl with family responsibilities.

Also why can't the child's parents take care of the child? :huh:

She does have one child though. She has a 7 month old. So on top of her baby, there are like 4 other kids in the house too.

And apparently the kids are being temporarily taken away (I think temporarily, maybe not) because of some issues of abuse in the house.
 
Yeah, run don't walk. :o

Lastly, I'm not against being with someone with kids. It's something common, the older you get and the slimmer the pickings tend to be unless you can still bang 19 year olds when you are in your 30s then more power to you.
 
She does have one child though. She has a 7 month old. So on top of her baby, there are like 4 other kids in the house too.

And apparently the kids are being temporarily taken away (I think temporarily, maybe not) because of some issues of abuse in the house.

The fact that you haven't ran yet is one of the things that trouble me most about you, Nell.
 
The fact that you haven't ran yet is one of the things that trouble me most about you, Nell.
Depends on the person. Seal started dating Heidi Klum when she was pregnant with another man's child, although she had separated from the baby daddy.

Not that anyone would say no to Heidi Klum but....anyway. :o It really depends on the person.

Frankly I'd be more concerned about her relationship to the baby's father (and if that was troubled in any way) rather than the actual presence of the child.

ETA: And the allegations of abuse in the house. I'd be running with THAT fact. :funny:
 
Depends on the person. Seal started dating Heidi Klum when she was pregnant with another man's child, although she had separated from the baby daddy.

Not that anyone would say no to Heidi Klum but....anyway. :o It really depends on the person.

Frankly I'd be more concerned about her relationship to the baby's father (and if that was troubled in any way) rather than the actual presence of the child.

ETA: And the allegations of abuse in the house. I'd be running with THAT fact. :funny:

It's the abuse I was referring to, geez. I'm not a child-hater. I'm a teacher for crying out loud.
 
no..what Nell is saying is that this girl and her mom are caring for younger children who were abused and are now with the girl and her mom
 
when your kid can barely walk the next day because their step a-hole beat them for dropping a glass come talk to me about rational

That's not always the case though, my dad got remarried after my mom passed away. His wife's children were abused by their father, my dad would never do something like that. It's the person, not the title of stepdad or mom. If the person's a dick they're going to be a dick.

lol, wow I certainly didn't expect a 3 page debate to arise out of this.

My 2 cents is that when my mom and dad met, my dad already had a child from a previous marriage. My mom didn't let that stop her from getting with my dad. They are happily married now for 28 years, I was born - into a very happy and healthy family environment - and everything turned out okay.

Sure, not all situations like that turn out okay, but they can. I'm not inherently against dating a girl who has a child. It just depends on if that's a responsibility that I can take on. Honestly, that's one of those things that I'll never know until I'm in the situation. I've had more than a couple of my friends get into relationships with someone who already had children and it was never a problem.

And to be honest, we're not talking about a relationship yet anyways. I think she's cute, and she's a blast to be around. She makes me laugh -constantly- when I'm around her. I think she's interested in me too. That's about all I know right now. I'm still trying to find out ways for her and I to get to know each other better. We're not quite at the "relationship" stage yet. I'm not even sure that her and I are in the "talking" stage yet.

Nell, why can't this girl's mom take care of the kids one night, that or hire a sitter. You don't want kids tagging along on a first date. Ask her out, see what she says, if she's interested she'll accept, if she's not she won't accept. If she tells you she can't go out because of the kids, maybe offer to pay for a sitter. It could be an easy excuse for her to get people she doesn't want to date off her back. One other thing is that she has a 7 month old, you've gotta find out the deal with the kid's dad, if she's still hung up on him, why things ended, etc... There could be big issues with that.
 
The issue with the father, from what she's told me, is that he bailed on her when she got pregnant and didn't want anything to do with her or the baby anymore. That's what she told me.

The story about the kids and stuff came about before I even said anything about her and I going out, or any interest or anything. I am definitely open to the possibility that it's just an excuse. I don't think it is, but yea, it very well could be. And if it is, then it is, oh well, move on to the next one.
 
Sooooo...I am having doubts about my coffee date for this Sunday. I imagine I arrive early to get coffee and smoke tiny cigar outside...but like...I know it's suppose to be a FWB thing...but I keep getting nervous. Is it cause I hardly know her? I hope we just chit chat Sunday. I'll let the ball be in her court.

Oh and my friend said she likes clean shaven guys. Do I have to shave? Or do I wait until she says something to me about it? Cause I love my beard. It makes me feel fuzzy inside...cause I look better IMHO with a beard.
 
Shave your beard, keep the conversation on her, don't be an ass.
 
smoking is gross....and unless the girl smokes, total turn off

I would not date a girl that smokes
 
i would not date a guy who smokes, i think it's disgusting
 
This sounds like the beginning of a relationship, not FWB.

Totally agree, people looking to start a relationship have a coffee date the first time they meet. FWB just hang out at a party or with a bunch of other friends, then when everyone leaves, they leave together and enjoy the benefits.
 
It's true. At least for high school anyway. I never met a chick that smoked that wasn't banging everything in site.
 
This sounds like the beginning of a relationship, not FWB.

I'm sorry that I'm 23 and know almost nothing about relationships outside romantic comedies, day time soaps, and internet relationship boards and here.

And coffee dates I thought during daytime = friends? That's the vibe I always thought.

And I'll shave my beard after I see the glorious movie, heaven in movie form, Jackass 3D tomorrow. If it's like part 2, I'll be screaming like a girl through out it.
 
Coffee/drinks are almost a non-committal date that allows for either a quick exit or a prolonged meeting.

The whole thing with FWB is you tend to need to be friends first. Seeing you know pretty much nothing about this girl is why some people are questioning your methods.
 
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