Ok, so I've posted in here before, but normally giving than taking. Pay back.
I don't really care how I come across here, because I'll be the first to admit that this is a dumb problem that I should just stop worrying about.
Here's the thing: My missus works with her ex. Let's not get ahead of ourselves, I trust her and she has no interest in him. They're not friends and it wasn't a long relationship. They do have to work together and share the same area when going out for after work drinks, and that's when it bothers me. It's not that I think anything's going to happen because I wouldn't be with her if I did. I just feel weird when I think about it. It probably has a lot to do with me cutting exes out once they are... exes. It just makes my skin crawl that she's out with a guy who... remembers things about her. You get me?
It's not a massive deal. It's never caused problems. But I wish I could get rid of that weird feeling when she's out with work, having drinks with a guy who's penis used to be in her mouth.
It is a silly problem. It goes against everything I am. I'm a confident guy. She shows me she loves me in every way. I can see she's traded up. I just don't get it. Is this natural?
Any suggestions apart from 'Grow the fu** up'?
Oh Eggy. -patpat-
It sounds like a normal thing to worry about. Actually, it doesn't read like a trust issue with your girl - it reads like you're bothered because you don't know what the ex is thinking. You're assuming that he's imagining banging your gf whenever they're out together for work, stuff like that. The fact that he's tried to get back together with her in the past doesn't help things either.
Not sure how you could get over this completely until this guy finds another girl to bang, or until you meet him and make sure that he's cool.
I'm still friends with my ex, but of course getting past the awkwardness took a long time. I attended his wedding with my current bf, and that was actually pretty nice. It felt like we had all moved on, although communicating is still a little weird because honestly, we wouldn't have been friends if we hadn't dated.
One thing for sure is that I have WAY less trust issues with my current bf than my first one, but I'm not sure if it's because of him or because I've matured. He works in a field where there aren't many women so I've never had to have my trust tested in that way. But he's dorky enough (and our relationship so slow-going at the beginning) that if he were to cheat on me, I'm thinking I'd laugh at him for taking all the trouble to give me the runaround.
Possibly. But there is more to this than you are letting on, or she is bat**** crazy. There HAS to be rhyme or reason to her allegations. Furthermore, you may be asking one too many questions about 'Susie with the nice ass.'
Rack your brain and think through the event prior to her giving you a lashing. Did you laugh at jokes one girl made, more than the others? Did you mention they way anyone dressed to your girl later on? Etc? Little details to a woman can be overlooked by men greatly. Think through, hard.
Yes, but if it's not obvious to him even after wracking his brain, I think the girl is nuts. Period.
My bf talked a lot with the hairdresser when he got his hair cut. Therefore he wants to sleep with her.
...This first love thing kinda sucks. I've had this girl as a romantic part of my life for 5 years. There's never been any getting over each other. Just lots of breaks and rebounds that resembled each other. It really is one of those things where I know what the logical things to do are and then logic gets it's ass kicked by emotion.
If it's a cycle and nothing ever changes, it's worth it to try and get a clean break. But it's easier said than done, especially when you still have close physical proximity.
I mean, what do you see yourself doing 5 years from now? The same cycle with the same girl?
Of course I want a GF, but don't want to deal with the work that comes with it. I'm 23 and keep changing my mind on things. Like...do I want to go back to community to continue my goal of being a film director? Yes, but I be happy just being the coffee boy on a film set at this point. However, I would only be ok with that for a 2 or 3 yr period.
Sounds like me, although I'm finally getting off my butt to take community college (hey, I'm cheap) classes for graphic design. My rule is, if I've considered it seriously for a week and the answer is still "yes" then I'm going for it for realz.
And I wouldn't considering being in a relationship "work." It's only work if you don't want to do it.
It takes effort yes, but it's stuff that you want to do. And once you're comfortable with the other person, it doesn't even really feel like effort.
Uh, guys. I GOTTA LADY PROBLEM.
Are you a lady with a problem or do you have a problem with a lady?
Be proud!
