One time I got really drunk and...

[enterthemadness]

Oh don't get me wrong, you seem to be a cool funny dude when drunk, just mostly messed up funny.

 

[JStorm]

Oh don't get me wrong, you seem to be a cool funny dude when drunk, just mostly messed up funny.

Yeah. . most of the time, I'm the funny guy that does random ****. But there is a percentage out there of 'WTF,' when I have one too many.

Manic wasn't lying. After that rude night on Skype, I made it a point to know what "drunk" is and when to stop and just enjoy the ride.

That list is pretty much two to three years old.

 

[AndThePickles]

...is it right that I'm still tempted to buy a can of Four Loko? And I mean just one can. To nurse on. Just once.

No, I think that you should try it. As long as you really do take your time, you'll be fine! It doesn't taste as strong as it is, so watch out. The lemonade one is yummy. Grape is pretty good, too.

 

[The Apocalypse]

1) Randomly slapped a friend off his bar stool.
2) Screamed at a phat chick "is your screenname 'Pork Chop'?!"
3) Got lost in a parking lot, when called and asked by my friends where I was, I replied "I see cars."
4) Drunk text my priest "wanna get some waffle house" at three in the morning.
5) While standing straight up, I suddenly fell to one side - stiff as a board. To this day, no one knows why. I drank water bombs the rest of the night.
6) Ran one mile in sandals, because my brother told me I had to stay home.
7) Could not stand in one foot of water, because the current "took my sober away."
8) Jumped out of my bed, because I thought my Batman poster was alive.
9) Drunk text Ma "can you make me a hot pocket?" She lives two hours away.
10) Posted on the Hype in perfect grammur.


More to come later.

 

[AndThePickles]

3) Got lost in a parking lot, when called and asked by my friends where I was, I replied "I see cars."

This one is hilarious!

 

[JStorm]

This one is hilarious!

The list easily has a 100 count. If I weren't in the middle of cleaning, and getting ready to cook dinner for my cousin and I. . . yeah, I would run down the last 90.

And just a taste for Pickles, there is a similar one where I got lost again and my friend - who was just as drunk - called and asked where I was. I replied, "I see trees." THAT time, he caught the trend and rememdered we park in the lot surrounded by trees. He told me he would be right there. 30 minutes later, which felt like 3, he showed up. When he got there, I said "how did you know?" He pointed at the trees and said "they talk."

 

[mrvlknight21]

1) Randomly slapped a friend off his bar stool.
2) Screamed at a phat chick "is your screenname 'Pork Chop'?!"
3) Got lost in a parking lot, when called and asked by my friends where I was, I replied "I see cars."
4) Drunk text my priest "wanna get some waffle house" at three in the morning.
5) While standing straight up, I suddenly fell to one side - stiff as a board. To this day, no one knows why. I drank water bombs the rest of the night.
6) Ran one mile in sandals, because my brother told me I had to stay home.
7) Could not stand in one foot of water, because the current "took my sober away."
8) Jumped out of my bed, because I thought my Batman poster was alive.
9) Drunk text Ma "can you make me a hot pocket?" She lives two hours away.
10) Posted on the Hype in perfect grammur.


More to come later.

I thought these were supposed to be drunk stories. You do 93% of this sober.

I do remember you dancing with an alien at Universal Studios during Horror Nights once. That was funny....you actually scared/confused the alien!

 

[AndThePickles]

The list easily has a 100 count. If I weren't in the middle of cleaning, and getting ready to cook dinner for my cousin and I. . . yeah, I would run down the last 90.

And just a taste for Pickles, there is a similar one where I got lost again and my friend - who was just as drunk - called and asked where I was. I replied, "I see trees." THAT time, he caught the trend and rememdered we park in the lot surrounded by trees. He told me he would be right there. 30 minutes later, which felt like 3, he showed up. When he got there, I said "how did you know?" He pointed at the trees and said "they talk."

Haha, thankfully I always had someone with me when I got that drunk. My 21st birthday was probably the worst in terms of how drunk I've ever been...apparently I threw up in front of a cop in a Wawa parking lot I blacked out so badly that night, and got so sick that my stomach lining got inflamed and I couldn't eat solid food for a damn week, ugh. But before drinking too much, it was a fantastic time.

 

[mrvlknight21]

Haha, thankfully I always had someone with me when I got that drunk. My 21st birthday was probably the worst in terms of how drunk I've ever been...apparently I threw up in front of a cop in a Wawa parking lot I blacked out so badly that night, and got so sick that my stomach lining got inflamed and I couldn't eat solid food for a damn week, ugh. But before drinking too much, it was a fantastic time.

When I hear stories like this, it reminds me why I have never had a drink.

 

[JStorm]

I thought these were supposed to be drunk stories. You do 93% of this sober.

I do remember you dancing with an alien at Universal Studios during Horror Nights once. That was funny....you actually scared/confused the alien!

Dear LORD. . I forgot about that!!

Yeah, folks, number 12 right there.

 

[mrvlknight21]

Dear LORD. . I forgot about that!!

Yeah, folks, number 12 right there.

Not only that, but you and Milf ran away from me and my wife and ducked into a bar (to drink some more?)! You apparently forgot that I was your ride back to the room!

 

[Harls]

Haha, thankfully I always had someone with me when I got that drunk. My 21st birthday was probably the worst in terms of how drunk I've ever been...apparently I threw up in front of a cop in a Wawa parking lot I blacked out so badly that night, and got so sick that my stomach lining got inflamed and I couldn't eat solid food for a damn week, ugh. But before drinking too much, it was a fantastic time.

Golly!

 

[AndThePickles]

At the time, I fully believed I hadn't had that much to drink and was just partying hardcore on my birthday It was the best learning experience of my life...I am always aware of my limits with alcohol now.

 

[Sarge 2.0]

One time I got really drunk and tried to out drink a room full of fireman and other assorted and sundry "hard drinking" types. I don't remember much but apparently as I was trying to run to the bathroom in order to throw up, I didn't make it, but projectile vomited so much that the vomit was actually like, in the door jambs n'stuff. And like, some was almost on the ceiling? It was the definition of a bad night.

 

[JStorm]

One time I got really drunk and tried to out drink a room full of fireman and other assorted and sundry "hard drinking" types. I don't remember much but apparently as I was trying to run to the bathroom in order to throw up, I didn't make it, but projectile vomited so much that the vomit was actually like, in the door jambs n'stuff. And like, some was almost on the ceiling? It was the definition of a bad night.

Never **** a ****er and NEVER try and out drink a seasoned Fireman, Cop, or Lawyer.



Alright. . more stories.

A friendgirl of the group insisted she could "keep up" with us guys. Upon arriving at our local, we told the Barkeep/friend what she said. Every time she turned around, albeit a half-way down drink or a quarter of the way, he would quickly pour more rum and coke in. She never caught on and was hammered WAAAAY before us. The next day all she could eat was crackers and drink ONE Powerade. Whenever she goes out with us now, she takes her drink with her and always walks off calling us "asses."


I friend took us to one of her favorite bars. She got tired of being at traditional Frat bars with us, because it wasn't "her style." Upon arriving, we all realized it was a gay bar. We all knew she was a lesbian, just thought she would take us somewhere low-key. . not there. Within minutes a guy asked me if I wanted a drink, it scared the piss out of me. She turned to me and said "don't worry. . I got your back. . you're going home with us. But if you want to drink for free, for the next hour our so, tell him your name is Steve and wink every now and then." All I could stomach was two drinks, then I told him I liked girls. He actually took it well.

 

[Eggyman]

Never **** a ****er and NEVER try and out drink a seasoned Fireman, Cop, or Lawyer.



Alright. . more stories.

A friendgirl of the group insisted she could "keep up" with us guys. Upon arriving at our local, we told the Barkeep/friend what she said. Every time she turned around, albeit a half-way down drink or a quarter of the way, he would quickly pour more rum and coke in. She never caught on and was hammered WAAAAY before us. The next day all she could eat was crackers and drink ONE Powerade. Whenever she goes out with us now, she takes her drink with her and always walks off calling us "asses."


I friend took us to one of her favorite bars. She got tired of being at traditional Frat bars with us, because it wasn't "her style." Upon arriving, we all realized it was a gay bar. We all knew she was a lesbian, just thought she would take us somewhere low-key. . not there. Within minutes a guy asked me if I wanted a drink, it scared the piss out of me. She turned to me and said "don't worry. . I got your back. . you're going home with us. But if you want to drink for free, for the next hour our so, tell him your name is Steve and wink every now and then." All I could stomach was two drinks, then I told him I liked girls. He actually took it well.

They usually do

 

[Sarge 2.0]

Never **** a ****er and NEVER try and out drink a seasoned Fireman, Cop, or Lawyer.



Alright. . more stories.

A friendgirl of the group insisted she could "keep up" with us guys. Upon arriving at our local, we told the Barkeep/friend what she said. Every time she turned around, albeit a half-way down drink or a quarter of the way, he would quickly pour more rum and coke in. She never caught on and was hammered WAAAAY before us. The next day all she could eat was crackers and drink ONE Powerade. Whenever she goes out with us now, she takes her drink with her and always walks off calling us "asses."


I friend took us to one of her favorite bars. She got tired of being at traditional Frat bars with us, because it wasn't "her style." Upon arriving, we all realized it was a gay bar. We all knew she was a lesbian, just thought she would take us somewhere low-key. . not there. Within minutes a guy asked me if I wanted a drink, it scared the piss out of me. She turned to me and said "don't worry. . I got your back. . you're going home with us. But if you want to drink for free, for the next hour our so, tell him your name is Steve and wink every now and then." All I could stomach was two drinks, then I told him I liked girls. He actually took it well.

It's safe to say that I will never make that mistake again.

 

[JStorm]

They usually do

: obligatorydrumroll:



I don't like to give my name when I'm out, and I find it interesting the names I use are not caught by the opposite sex. I've used Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker, Clark Kent, Matt Murduck. . . all the way to Chris Bale, Tyler Durden, James Foxx, etc.


One time. . just one, a girl said "you're not Bruce Wayne!" I gave her a high-five and bought her a drink. When she asked my real name, I told her Jason Storm. She didn't believe me. So I told her, "look at my ID." She called it a fake. I took her drink and told her she failed.

 

[Paroxysm]

...had threesome with two smoking hot deaf chicks.

 

[Marx]

Oh my...

 

[Hurm...]

One time I got really drunk and....we boned.

The end.

 

[Alex The Great]

...had threesome with two smoking hot deaf chicks.

Winner

 

[Speedball]

... had a threesome with my ex and a acting student. Then my ex went to bed, and it was me and the actor in the shower for three hours...

 

[enterthemadness]

Haha, thankfully I always had someone with me when I got that drunk. My 21st birthday was probably the worst in terms of how drunk I've ever been...apparently I threw up in front of a cop in a Wawa parking lot I blacked out so badly that night, and got so sick that my stomach lining got inflamed and I couldn't eat solid food for a damn week, ugh. But before drinking too much, it was a fantastic time.

You're a trooper. Must party with you and Spoons one day. but then when I get blitzed, you probably trick me into going into the wrong bathroom or something.

 

[enterthemadness]

... had a threesome with my ex and a acting student. Then my ex went to bed, and it was me and the actor in the shower for three hours...

Good to know you're not old like Brett Favre...