The Amazing Spider-Man Spider-Quips

[Knight Rise]

Ah I guess I'll transfer mine over then

 

[Knight Rise]

Spider-Man: Yeesh! Don't tell me you're a hoarder as well!

Lizard: ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!

Spider-Man: I KNEW IT! Don't worry giant iguana man, I'll save you from your own garbage!

Lizard: ENOUGH, YOU ARROGANT WORM!

Spider-Man: What you need is an intervention!

Lizard: LET GO OF ME INSECT!

Spider-Man: I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH! YOU JUST HAVE TO TRUST ME! Now, which pile do you want to start with?

Lizard: ENOOOOOOOOOOOUGH!

Spider-Man: Look buddy, I love leapfrog as much as the next gila monster, but-

Lizard: IM GONNA RIP YOU TO PIECES!

Spider-Man: SON OF AN OSBORN! um...uh....

Spider-Man: On second thought, I forgot to call the movers. Tah tah gruesome!

 

[Oscorp]

It's ok. I came up with some great ones in the caption thread between him and Lizard

I'm sorry but...I just don't understand. You are posting about yourself and your "great humour" in every single thread. And it's not even funny. You even claim yourself to be the "funny guy" in these boards under your nickname and yet I don't see what is so funny about you other than your ridiculous complacency. I'm sorry I don't like bashing you but seriously, you're freaking annoying right now.

 

[Knight Rise]

I'm sorry but...I just don't understand. You are posting about yourself and your "great humour" in every single thread. And it's not even funny. You even claim yourself to be the "funny guy" in these boards under your nickname and yet I don't see what is so funny about you other than your ridiculous complacency. I'm sorry I don't like bashing you but seriously, you're freaking annoying right now.

if you want me to shut up, i'll shut up man. i understand

 

[Oscorp]

if you want me to shut up, i'll shut up man. i understand

No need to shut up, read what I actually said instead. We get it, you think you're hilarious and all but you don't need to claim that for yourself everywhere out of nowhere.

 

[Knight Rise]

No need to shut up, read what I actually said instead. We get it, you think you're hilarious and all but you don't need to claim that for yourself everywhere out of nowhere.

the only reason why i do that is because i just want feedback. i dont do it to piss you guys off, but apparently i am and im sorry for that. Im working my way towards an Actor/Comedian future. didnt mean to be a pain in your side

 

[Oscorp]

No one is pissed off I just stated that I think it's annoying.

 

[Knight Rise]

No one is pissed off I just stated that I think it's annoying.

okay, i'll stop with it. lets get back on topic

 

[The Shape]

Chirp.

 

[Mysterioman]

i thought the Spidey/Lizard dialogue was actually sort of funny. Not laught out loud funny, just funny.

 

[terry78]

The only way his quips should be corny is if he acknowledges it at some point. Just spouting off cornball lines ain't gonna fly in a modern day version. We all know someone that just has a very sarcastic sense of humor, just assume it'll be like that.

 

[Still Wynning]

Some that just popped into my head:


*gets up close and personal to Lizard*

Spidey: "Whew, buddy, two words: Proactiv and Listerine"!



Criminal 1: "Looks like we finally lost the spider!"

*Spidey pokes head in front of windshield*

Spidey: "You call?"

Criminal 2: "Spider-Man!!!"

Spidey: "Geez, talk about prejudiced. You guys never let me in on the action. It's 'cause I'm red and blue, isn't it?"



"Spidey sees Proto Goblin"

"Worst. Sunburn. Ever."

 

[Mysterioman]

Some that just popped into my head:


*gets up close and personal to Lizard*

Spidey: "Whew, buddy, two words: Proactiv and Listerine"!



Criminal 1: "Looks like we finally lost the spider!"

*Spidey pokes head in front of windshield*

Spidey: "You call?"

Criminal 2: "Spider-Man!!!"

Spidey: "Geez, talk about prejudiced. You guys never let me in on the action. It's 'cause I'm red and blue, isn't it?"



"Spidey sees Proto Goblin"

"Worst. Sunburn. Ever."

^^^^ There we go. Just little lines like that in the movie would be enough. It's not like he talks EVERY second. And just one line for a joke is good. No sense in dragging out the same material.

Hopefully Garfield can act sarcastic...

 

[Spider-X]

^^^^ There we go. Just little lines like that in the movie would be enough. It's not like he talks EVERY second. And just one line for a joke is good. No sense in dragging out the same material.

Hopefully Garfield can act sarcastic...

he can. watch The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

 

[Darkness Falls]

"the itsy bitsy spider punched you in the face"

- Spiderman: Friend or foe

 

[spider-neil]

*lizard about to bite his next victim*

lizard - 'RRRRRRGGHHH!!!'

victim - 'help!'

*spidey taps lizard on the shoulder*

spidey - 'erm, excuse me...can anyone tell me where I can find a little tail?'

----------

or

*lizard about to bite his next victim*

lizard - 'RRRRRRGGHHH!!!'

victim - 'help!'

*spidey taps lizard on the shoulder*

spidey - 'is that a tail in your lab coat or are you happy to see me?'

 

[TomPiltoff]

Man I knew this was going to be bad when I clicked on it, but still.

 

[Ajendo]

Man I knew this was going to be bad when I clicked on it, but still.

Loool QFT. I'm burying my head in shame right now. So embarrassed for some of the so called qips in here.

 

[Still Wynning]

Some more I thought of:

*Spots Lizard*

"Well...at least it's not Godzilla."


or


*Runs into Lizard at school*

"What's the matter? Tokyo not good enough anymore?"

 

[The Slang]

*Spidey sees figure rumaging through garbage and approaches.
Spidey: "Excuse me, random bum. You didn't happen to see a slimy disgusting..."
*lizard's head pops up.
Spidey: jehh... nevermind.

 

[The Slang]

*Crimelords are at some secret meeting or private function.
*Spidey bursts inexpectantly through a window/skylight.
Spidey: Did one of you leave your lights on outside?
or: This place is SO not wheelchair accessible.
or: Can I interest you gentlemen in a copy of the watchtower?

*Robbers escape in getaway car with bags of money
Robber 1: I think we've lost them...
*Spidey leans down from roof of car: Clean yer windshield sir?
*looks around interior of car: Don't act like you left your money at home.
or
*Spidey leans down from roof of car: Can we change the station? I'm more of a R&B man myself...

 

[TheSlag]

*lizard about to bite his next victim*

lizard - 'RRRRRRGGHHH!!!'

victim - 'help!'

*spidey taps lizard on the shoulder*

spidey - 'erm, excuse me...can anyone tell me where I can find a little tail?'

Better would be... "Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon?"

 

[Still Wynning]

Some more:


*Sees Lizard's tail*

"Trying to compensate for something?"


*Gets hit by Lizard*

"If I want to be poked, I'd use Facebook."


"Let me guess: teleporter accident with Jeff Goldblum?"


"Spider-Man versus 'The Lizard'? Sounds like a bad SyFy movie."


*Spots a robber*

"Wow. If you used your brain as much as you ran your mouth, you'd have already won the Nobel Prize."

*Dodges bullets*

"But, I guess you can always settle on the 'Darwin Award' for 'Most Talkative Criminal of the Year'."


*Hangs in front of criminal stealing a valuable item*

"For me? Oh, you shouldn't have!"


*Hops onto criminal's car's front hood*

"Spidey's Friendly Neighborhood Car Wash. We do windshields."

*Punches and breaks windshield, causing car to crash*

"Service is non-refundable."


*Latches onto back of thrashing Lizard*

"Steve Irwin, eat your heart out!"


*Startled by Lizard*

"Crikey!!!"

 

[spider-neil]

would be cool if spidey were searching for the lizard in the sewers and while he is searching he is mouthing the 60's spidey jingle in a quiet, shaky, scared and trembling voice.

*climbs down man hole*

spider-man...spider-man...

*peeks round corner*

does whatever a spider can...

*walk up the wall to the ceiling*

spins a web...anytime...


that would be tense and comedic at the same time.

 

[Spider-Ranger]

would be cool if spidey were searching for the lizard in the sewers and while he is searching he is mouthing the 60's spidey jingle in a quiet, shaky, scared and trembling voice.

*climbs down man hole*

spider-man...spider-man...

*peeks round corner*

does whatever a spider can...

*walk up the wall to the ceiling*

spins a web...anytime...


that would be tense and comedic at the same time.

I'd love that!! t: