The Amazing Spider-Man Spider-Quips

[Spider-Boy]

This site has almost every Spider-Quip from the 90's series I believe. I LOL'd to almost every single one of them, point out your favorites and what you think would be appropriate for the reboot.

http://www.hundredbling.net/showthread.php?t=53183

 

[Pumpkin_Bomb]

The thing I hate most about the whole deal with the Daredevil movie rights is that we can't see Spider-Man bombard Kingpin with a barrage of fat jokes.

 

[rcazzy]

Spidey (to X-23): My God! Wolverine, what have they done to you?

Love these!

 

[Darkness Falls]

From the Ultimate Spiderman Game
Facing the Rhino
Hey ugly! Is that a horn or are you just happy to.... wow, I'm so scared I can't even finish my lame joke [Thrown]

 

[Pumpkin_Bomb]

Wasn't on that page, but one of my favourites is from the Spider-Man 2 game:

*Spidey shuts down Quentin Beck's laser*
Spidey: "Trouble with your laser, Beck? Y'know they make a pill for that now."

 

[Ultimate Doom]

to Kingpin and Ra's al Ghul:
sm: Did it ever occur to you that maybe...just maybe...if you’re nice to people, they might LET you rule the world?

made me lol

 

[NinjaCarm]

Wrong forum anyone?

 

[Alchemyst]

From Shattered Dimensions

Spider-Man after getting web line shot by sniper

"Sorry, I'm allergic to bullets, they're bad for my complexion"

"Awww Kraven, and I see you've brought your boy band"

"All of you guys came out, I wished I would have baked a cake"

First cutscene from Kraven level

"My trusty Spider-Sense is telling me that...this.....is.....a.......trap, well that was easy *knock out gas canister shoots mist* Aww come on!!!!!!!"

Anytime Spider-Man yanks a pot and throws it

"Pot!!!!"

 

[Wolfwood]

In a future movie I'd love to hear him say "Jameson hates me cause I'm black." That line had me rolling.

 

[Darkness Falls]

In a future movie I'd love to hear him say "Jameson hates me cause I'm black." That line had me rolling.

MUST SEE

 

[Ultimate Doom]

MUST SEE

 

[Darkness Falls]

Lol

 

[spida-man]

I remember when i first saw that i laughed so hard I cried....

 

[spida-man]

does anyone have a scan of the panels in ultimate spider-man "Cats and kings" where kingpin threatens spidey and spidey replies "are you hitting on me?"

 

[White_Knight191]

Guy - Holy spit! Spider-man! Where the heck did he com from?
sm - Well, one day a mommy spider and a daddy spider fell very much in love...

 

[Knight Rise]

Mysterio: I am...Mysterio!
Spider-Man: Mysterio? I think I ate a bowl of Mysterio's for breakfast.

 

[cwere]

KINGPIN: Who are you working for?
SPIDERMAN: You're right. You don't know me. You don't know why I'm doing this. And I promised myself that if I ever had a moment face to face with you again...that I would tell you. There are all kinds of things I wanted to tell you...and I was afraid I would forget to say them...and I really wanted to tell you these things, because they're really important me. Ok...here goes...You are so fat...that when you cut yourself shaving...marshmallow fluff comes out.
KINGPIN: .....
SPIDERMAN: No? Ok, how about this one. You are so fat that your highschool yearbook photo was taken from a helicopter. Ooh, tough room. Ok, how about...you're so fat that when you get on a scale, it says: One At a Time.
KINGPIN: YOU SON OF A --
SPIDERMAN: Wait, how about this one...your belly button makes an echo. If you were a truck you would have a wide load sign. When you back up you can hear a beeping sound.
KINGPIN: AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Kingpin: Spider-Man. Having you here is a real treat.
Spider-Man: If I were you i'd cut down on the treats.

sm(to kp): Did you have some henchmen for me to fight, or did you eat them already?

 

[Ajendo]

KINGPIN: Who are you working for?
SPIDERMAN: You're right. You don't know me. You don't know why I'm doing this. And I promised myself that if I ever had a moment face to face with you again...that I would tell you. There are all kinds of things I wanted to tell you...and I was afraid I would forget to say them...and I really wanted to tell you these things, because they're really important me. Ok...here goes...You are so fat...that when you cut yourself shaving...marshmallow fluff comes out.
KINGPIN: .....
SPIDERMAN: No? Ok, how about this one. You are so fat that your highschool yearbook photo was taken from a helicopter. Ooh, tough room. Ok, how about...you're so fat that when you get on a scale, it says: One At a Time.
KINGPIN: YOU SON OF A --
SPIDERMAN: Wait, how about this one...your belly button makes an echo. If you were a truck you would have a wide load sign. When you back up you can hear a beeping sound.
KINGPIN: AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Classic moment.

Kingpin: Spider-Man. Having you here is a real treat.
Spider-Man: If I were you i'd cut down on the treats.

Barnes' delivery of that quip sold it extremely well, much like the rest of dialogue in the series.

sm(to kp): Did you have some henchmen for me to fight, or did you eat them already?

NPH's delivery of that line made it meh for me.

 

[White_Knight191]

[YT]CmJn4AXKivc[/YT]
^^ 03:33 = Indeed.
[YT]6FDT6r-R0Vs&feature=related[/YT]
^^ If 01:27 isn't in the sequel or whenever we'll see MJ for the first time, I'm gonna be disapointed... Seriously.

 

[Ajendo]

Its a travesty that they cancelled such an awesome show!

 

[White_Knight191]

Let's hope Ultimate Spider-Man will be equally good or even beter...

 

[Troy_Parker]

Which comic is this from? Ultimate??

 

[Scarlettess]

^ yeah I'd like to know that too. Looking at that strip the art looks very much like the style they used for spectacular spider-man.

 

[Pumpkin_Bomb]

It's from She-Hulk. Couldn't tell you the issue though.

 

[Knight Rise]

Electro: I HAVE BECOME A BEING OF PURE ENERGY!
Spider-Man: WITHOUT PAAAAAAAAAANTS!

i LOVE that line