The Amazing Spider-Man Spider-Quips

[spider-neil]

I'd love that!! t:

me too. it doesn't hurt pacing and doesn't comedify the tension but does reveal how he is feeling.

in SM3 I thought it was a massive missed oppertunity when he was surfing behind the armoured car.

'everybody was surfing, SPIDER USA!'

'surf up!'

'wipe out!'

what did spidey say? NOTHING.

spidey LITERALLY kicks away sandmans legs

'you haven't got a leg to stand on!'

'are you drunk or legless!'

what did spidey say? NOTHING.

 

[cwere]

Some more:


*Sees Lizard's tail*

"Trying to compensate for something?"


*Gets hit by Lizard*

"If I want to be poked, I'd use Facebook."


"Let me guess: teleporter accident with Jeff Goldblum?"


"Spider-Man versus 'The Lizard'? Sounds like a bad SyFy movie."


*Spots a robber*

"Wow. If you used your brain as much as you ran your mouth, you'd have already won the Nobel Prize."

*Dodges bullets*

"But, I guess you can always settle on the 'Darwin Award' for 'Most Talkative Criminal of the Year'."


*Hangs in front of criminal stealing a valuable item*

"For me? Oh, you shouldn't have!"


*Hops onto criminal's car's front hood*

"Spidey's Friendly Neighborhood Car Wash. We do windshields."

*Punches and breaks windshield, causing car to crash*

"Service is non-refundable."


*Latches onto back of thrashing Lizard*

"Steve Irwin, eat your heart out!"


*Startled by Lizard*

"Crikey!!!"

These are pretty funny lol, the others were great too

 

[Oscorp]

Some more:


*Sees Lizard's tail*

"Trying to compensate for something?"


*Gets hit by Lizard*

"If I want to be poked, I'd use Facebook."


"Let me guess: teleporter accident with Jeff Goldblum?"


"Spider-Man versus 'The Lizard'? Sounds like a bad SyFy movie."


*Spots a robber*

"Wow. If you used your brain as much as you ran your mouth, you'd have already won the Nobel Prize."

*Dodges bullets*

"But, I guess you can always settle on the 'Darwin Award' for 'Most Talkative Criminal of the Year'."


*Hangs in front of criminal stealing a valuable item*

"For me? Oh, you shouldn't have!"


*Hops onto criminal's car's front hood*

"Spidey's Friendly Neighborhood Car Wash. We do windshields."

*Punches and breaks windshield, causing car to crash*

"Service is non-refundable."


*Latches onto back of thrashing Lizard*

"Steve Irwin, eat your heart out!"


*Startled by Lizard*

"Crikey!!!"

would be cool if spidey were searching for the lizard in the sewers and while he is searching he is mouthing the 60's spidey jingle in a quiet, shaky, scared and trembling voice.

*climbs down man hole*

spider-man...spider-man...

*peeks round corner*

does whatever a spider can...

*walk up the wall to the ceiling*

spins a web...anytime...


that would be tense and comedic at the same time.

These ones are great stuff

 

[Still Wynning]

These are pretty funny lol, the others were great too

Thank you! I'll be here all week! t:

 

[Scarlettess]

Some more:


*Sees Lizard's tail*

"Trying to compensate for something?"


*Gets hit by Lizard*

"If I want to be poked, I'd use Facebook."


"Let me guess: teleporter accident with Jeff Goldblum?"


"Spider-Man versus 'The Lizard'? Sounds like a bad SyFy movie."


*Spots a robber*

"Wow. If you used your brain as much as you ran your mouth, you'd have already won the Nobel Prize."

*Dodges bullets*

"But, I guess you can always settle on the 'Darwin Award' for 'Most Talkative Criminal of the Year'."


*Hangs in front of criminal stealing a valuable item*

"For me? Oh, you shouldn't have!"


*Hops onto criminal's car's front hood*

"Spidey's Friendly Neighborhood Car Wash. We do windshields."

*Punches and breaks windshield, causing car to crash*

"Service is non-refundable."


*Latches onto back of thrashing Lizard*

"Steve Irwin, eat your heart out!"


*Startled by Lizard*

"Crikey!!!"

These are epic, but i absolutely love the car wash one!! now i WANT to see that in the movie! t:

 

[Still Wynning]

These are epic, but i absolutely love the car wash one!! now i WANT to see that in the movie! t:

I think that was my favorite out of all the ones I came up with. I even made myself chuckle. t:

 

[Gunga Diner]

me too. it doesn't hurt pacing and doesn't comedify the tension but does reveal how he is feeling.

in SM3 I thought it was a massive missed oppertunity when he was surfing behind the armoured car.

'everybody was surfing, SPIDER USA!'

'surf up!'

'wipe out!'

what did spidey say? NOTHING.

spidey LITERALLY kicks away sandmans legs

'you haven't got a leg to stand on!'

'are you drunk or legless!'

what did spidey say? NOTHING.

How would any of those have been better or less cheesy than Robin yelling "cowabunga" in Batman & Robin?

 

[spider-neil]

How would any of those have been better or less cheesy than Robin yelling "cowabunga" in Batman & Robin?

spidey quiping IS cheesy.

I have the omnibus of amazing spider-man (first 20 issues) and spidey knocks out three guys and says 'yes sir, this is as much fun as a little spider can have without taking his clothes off' (I think)

how is that NOT cheesy?

 

[Gunga Diner]

spidey quiping IS cheesy.

I have the omnibus of amazing spider-man (first 20 issues) and spidey knocks out three guys and says 'yes sir, this is as much fun as a little spider can have without taking his clothes off' (I think)

how is that NOT cheesy?

It's Stan Lee 60's comic-writing. Of course it's cheesy. But most of those lines sound out-of-place and unnecessary to me.

If he DOES quip (and we know he will because the studio is desperate to do any fanservice they can by this point) it should be while he's interacting with somebody.

 

[rowleyslims]

THIS THREADS AWESOME.. his quips are one of the reasons he's my favorite super hero. lets see if i can make one up real quick...

*a thug and spiderman are exchanging dialog*
thug: dont you ever run out of things to say??
webhead: didnt you know hollywood pays people to write my lines... (then kicks thug in the face)

or how bout this

*during the time everyone hates spiderman.*
bad guy: Why do you even bother fighting crime?
webhead: DUh.. If i wasnt out catching you guys then who would they have to blame..!?

ehh?? ehh?? anything?

ANYWAYS, i was always let down when raimi's spiderman had barely any quips. which i never got why, and if you saw either evil dead 1/2 or army of darkness you'd know what i mean. and if not im referring to Bruce and the ridiculous one-liners.. they are TOO funny. love those movies.

 

[Troy_Parker]

How would any of those have been better or less cheesy than Robin yelling "cowabunga" in Batman & Robin?

It's supposed to be cheesy.

 

[Ajendo]

Wait, Robin really yelled out cowabunga in BandR???

 

[Alchemyst]

Wait, Robin really yelled out cowabunga in BandR???

yeah when they were free falling/sky surfing using the conviently placed doors on the rocket Mr. Freeze built.

 

[cwere]

yeah when they were free falling/sky surfing using the conviently placed doors on the rocket Mr. Freeze built.

Well this particular action was even worse than yelling out "cawabunga" in the film. God how I hated that film

 

[the amazing fro]

If he does quip lets hope they are considerably better than whats been put on the table here because these are truly god-awful. They're not even charming in a cheesy way. They're just bad.

 

[spider-neil]

If he does quip lets hope they are considerably better than whats been put on the table here because these are truly god-awful. They're not even charming in a cheesy way. They're just bad.

If someone does post let's hope the posts are considerably better than what's been put in the above post here because the post is truly god-awful. The post is not even charming in a cheesy way. The post is just bad.


it's sooo easy to be critical without being constructive...

 

[the amazing fro]

If someone does post let's hope the posts are considerably better than what's been put in the above post here because the post is truly god-awful. The post is not even charming in a cheesy way. The post is just bad.


it's sooo easy to be critical without being constructive...

Oh wow how witty. You copied my post and replaced the word "quip" with "Post." YOU sir are truly a comic genius. I bow before your superior humor.


Please. That's about as witty as 'everybody was surfing, SPIDER USA!'

Which I believe was one of yours, no?

 

[spider-neil]

Oh wow how witty. You copied my post and replaced the word "quip" with "Post." YOU sir are truly a comic genius. I bow before your superior humor.


Please. That's about as witty as 'everybody was surfing, SPIDER USA!'

Which I believe was one of yours, no?

I'm waiting for you to post superior quips and show the entire forum how it's done.

 

[the amazing fro]

I'm waiting for you to post superior quips and show the entire forum how it's done.

Hmm where in my post did I ever state I was a comedian or that I could come up with better quips. I merely stated my opinion that these "quips" of yours are as funny as a heart attack in a burning orphanage and I would be embarrassed to be a spider-man fan if jokes of such a low caliber were featured in the actual movie.

I don't find you funny. Deal with it.

 

[spider-neil]

Hmm where in my post did I ever state I was a comedian or that I could come up with better quips. I merely stated my opinion that these "quips" of yours are as funny as a heart attack in a burning orphanage and I would be embarrassed to be a spider-man fan if jokes of such a low caliber were featured in the actual movie.

I don't find you funny. Deal with it.

I find your posts non constructive and a waste of time. deal with it.

 

[Still Wynning]

If he does quip lets hope they are considerably better than whats been put on the table here because these are truly god-awful. They're not even charming in a cheesy way. They're just bad.

I really hope you're not referring to mine.

 

[the amazing fro]

I find your posts non constructive and a waste of time. deal with it.

As much of a waste of time as a joke that's not funny?

 

[Infinity9999x]

In terms of the whole "cheese factor" of the quips, I'd have to say this:

I honestly think it varies. Yeah, some of Spidey's quips are going to be cheesy, that's part of the charm. On the other hand, I think some are definitely more in the vein of what House does. Well timed sarcastic comments, snarky almost, that shows off Spidey's wittiness while enraging the opponent.

And sometimes they're not even quips, but more of a sarcastic humorous commentary on the situation at hand. They don't all have to be one-liners.

 

[Troy_Parker]

In terms of the whole "cheese factor" of the quips, I'd have to say this:

I honestly think it varies. Yeah, some of Spidey's quips are going to be cheesy, that's part of the charm. On the other hand, I think some are definitely more in the vein of what House does. Well timed sarcastic comments, snarky almost, that shows off Spidey's wittiness while enraging the opponent.

And sometimes they're not even quips, but more of a sarcastic humorous commentary on the situation at hand. They don't all have to be one-liners.

This!

 

[Spider-Boy]

TBH, the only real memorable quip we got that I actually remembered was in SM2 at the bank. The "here's your change!" line as he swung the bag back at Ock... That's it.

For all the haters of Spidey-Quips out there, deal with it. It's one of Spidey's best attributes. He's a nerd and he's witty, expect witty remarks.

And the amazing fro needs to stop being a downer, didn't your mom ever tell you if you didn't have anything nice to say not to say anything at all? People who post like you are just trying to be a s**t disturber. Two words, DONT...POST if you're not a fan of the quips. Next time I make a thread I'll call it "Spider-Quips... FOR THE PEOPLE WHO LIKE THEM"