Teacher leaves wife and kids for high school student

[Raiden]

If this teacher is convinced of that old molestation case he had with an adolescent student a decade or so ago, will he be jailed? Because I think only by separating these two will there be a chance for the girl to finally wake up for good. Then again, she just might sink deeper into the quicksand and blinded further by his manipulations.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Yes, she's a moron for relenting, but when he got out of jail, he was practically harassing her to come back, throwing every line he could - even bible verses - to guilt her into returning. As I said, this is a clear case of manipulation and she is a victim of it. That's what manipulators and predators do: they get you to do what they want and convince you of whatever it is they're telling you. I've seen it happen personally. She's a victim of his manipulations as much as she is a victim of her own stupid choices.

I'm not going to have this debate with you yet again, its decidedly obvious you have no understanding of the concept of manipulation and what it means to be a sufferer of it.

Or, more accurately, im holding a grown woman accountable for her own actions, and not giving her a free out of her own personal responsibilities because of someone else.

 

[Spider-Who?]

Stop. Just stop. This is getting ridiculous. First off, an 18 year old high school student is not a "grown woman". Being allowed to buy smokes, porn and be tried as an adult in court does not grant one that distinction (and even 16 year old's can get tried as an adult so that doesn't mean much). She's still a teenager. She's still got several years before she is a "grown woman". Secondly, no one is saying she isn't accountable for her own actions. Heck, in the post you quoted, I even said she's a victim of his actions AS WELL AS her own stupid choices.

 

[The Guard]

Having thought about this for a while.

This girl is stupid. Whether she's stupid because of some psychological issue...she's still stupid. And by the letter of the law, she's an adult. But that doesn't really matter, because it doesn't magically mean she'll make good choices.

Grown women (and men) do stupid things all the time.

As far as the manipulation thing goes...every relationship has its elements of manipulation. It may be as simple as he tells her what she wants to hear, but not that he's digging, looking for some weakness he can exploit, though it's certainly possible.

This girl has free will, as far as I know. She may feel a certain way, and make certain decisions because of that. But that doesn't neccessarily make her a "victim".

I don't understand why this keeps around and around and around. It doesn't need to be one or the other.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Stop. Just stop. This is getting ridiculous. First off, an 18 year old high school student is not a "grown woman". Being allowed to buy smokes, porn and be tried as an adult in court does not grant one that distinction (and even 16 year old's can get tried as an adult so that doesn't mean much). She's still a teenager. She's still got several years before she is a "grown woman". Secondly, no one is saying she isn't accountable for her own actions. Heck, in the post you quoted, I even said she's a victim of his actions AS WELL AS her own stupid choices.

By the definition of our society, an 18 year old woman is a "grown" woman, not a child. Yet, you are treating her as a child. 18 years of age is the age of consent, and she consented. Thus, she is not a victim.

 

[Spider-Who?]

By the definition of our society, an 18 year old woman is a "grown" woman, not a child. Yet, you are treating her as a child. 18 years of age is the age of consent, and she consented. Thus, she is not a victim.

Yes, if they had consensual sex after turning 18, than she is not a victim of rape. But that's not what I'm talking about. How am I treating her like a child? I've not said she can't be or isn't responsible for her own actions (in fact I've said the opposite). The stance that I AM taking is that ANYONE regardless of age can be a victim of another's manipulations, and that this looks to be a classic example of that. That statement in no way delegates her to being an infant who can't make choices on her own. As The Guard says, it doesn't have to be one way or the other; there is no "A or B" situation here. It is ALL shades of grey. But the fact that you think that it IS one or the other shows that you really don't understand anything about the psychology of abusive and manipulative/controlling relationships, or even the most basic fundamentals of psychology for that matter. I've said several times go and learn about this stuff. That is NOT an attempt at an insult. I genuinely want you to educate yourself on this matter, because you obviously don't understand it and it is a very important thing to understand, because with your mindset, you're pretty much saying that there is no such thing as controlling or manipulative behavior, since everyone is capable of making decisions on their own, which is an extremely inaccurate and gross misunderstanding.