The 100 Greatest Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian Chat Rooms

[sinewave]

sorry. you're all wrong. "space madness" is the best!

 

[Obi-Ron]

sorry. you're all wrong. "space madness" is the best!

LOL I referred to "One More Day" as "pressing the history eraser button."

 

[sinewave]

LOL I referred to "One More Day" as "pressing the history eraser button."

ha! very true. who could resist that shiny red button?

 

[jaguarr]

jag

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

You know what's pathetic?

I was going to jokingly act as if I'm outraged by this disregard for the topic of this thread, by calling you all "stOOpeed", a reference to the show.

But these days, some fluffy, cotton-candy mod would probably give me probation for that.

****ing ridiculous.

 

[jaguarr]

I think, put in that light Wil, that I'm going to have hold off on calling you a "Faaaat, blllooaaated, eeeeediot!!!!!!", then.

jag

 

[Figs]

You know what's pathetic?

I was going to jokingly act as if I'm outraged by this disregard for the topic of this thread, by calling you all "stOOpeed", a reference to the show.

But these days, some fluffy, cotton-candy mod would probably give me probation for that.

****ing ridiculous.

t:

 

[jaguarr]

Haha! The Sugar Monster looks like a total spaz.

jag

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

I think, put in that light Wil, that I'm going to have hold off on calling you a "Faaaat, blllooaaated, eeeeediot!!!!!!", then.

jag

Well, as long as you call me a
"******, ************, *********!!!!!!!", I guess no teenage Hypesters will commit suicide or grow up to be rapist serial shooters or experience diminished self-worth, so there we are.

 

[jaguarr]

Well, as long as you call me a
"******, ************, *********!!!!!!!", I guess no teenage Hypesters will commit suicide or grow up to be rapist serial shooters or experience diminished self-worth, so there we are.

The only way to guarantee that wouldn't happen, Wil, would be to make sure every school in the nation has forced Christian prayer. :bringingitfullcircle:

jag

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Oh, I forgot...a renewing of that era when nothing bad ever happened, yes.

 

[Mr Sparkle]

it's mostly because the women and the coloreds knew their place.

 

[Memphis Slim]

Slim, I am a devout, lifetime Catholic and I am going to be very blunt about this as someone needs to tell you.

You are not a Christian. You are a pawn of Satan. You use God's name to spread hate and discord. You ignore the teachings of Jesus Christ, the one and only son of God. The one who taught us "Let he who is without sin" cast the first stone. Judgement is reserved for God alone. Not for you to tell gay people that they are sinners or that Muslims are going to hell. You have been decieved by Satan. He has turned Jesus' teachings against you. But I do not blame you. I blame your old man. You have admitted that you were beaten pretty severely as a child for events as small as getting a C in fourth grade. This has likely caused you to turn to the Bible...and yet the hatred inside you has essentially allowed yourself and your beliefs to be manipulated into more hatred.. I feel a great swell of pity for you.

Nice way to go Mr. Moderator.

Very parental-like stance. Pawn of Satan!!! ooooooooohhh.....

Do you even read the Bible? Do even care about it? You are "pro-everything" it teaches against. And I'm Satan's pawn??

Evolution
Gay Marriage
Abortion
Pre-marital Sex

Should I keep going? I don't care if you "call" yourself a Catholic or not. But your Catholicism may explain your way of thinking. Catholics have never been strong in Bible study. Good people. But discipleship is not stressed. Actually getting in the scriptures and finding out how God wants you to live is not a priority. . Every former Catholic I've talked to has said the same things. See...I'm not calling these things "sin" on my own. The Bible calls it that and I agree with the Bible.

 

[Carcharodon]

what happened to that idea of personal responsibility you republicans are always going on about?



1) just because someone wants to keep the government out of the personal decisions a person or couple makes doesn't mean he necessarily has to like those decisions. i'm pro-choice but i don't necessarily like the idea of abortion, except in extreme cases.

2) what does denying a happy, healthy couple the same rights as the rest of society have to do with jesus' teachings?

3) do these two things outrank issues like helping the poor or bringing peace to the world? because i always thought those ranked a bit higher in jesus' teachings than these two wedge issues.

4) are you saying that, with what little we know about his personal religious beliefs, he's less of a christian than you because he sets his belief in certain teachings in a different priority structure than yours?



holding morals is fine. everyone's got their own set. it's the legislating of those morals that can cause trouble. for instance, it affects the lives of gay people to be denied the right to legally marry much more than it does the lives of straight people, who aren't affected in the slightest when gays marry. the basis for denying that privilege is from someone's preconceived notion of morality that tells them it's wrong. government officials are not required to legislate morality. their job is to uphold the rule of law, not their own set of personal rules.



a good leader should be able to set aside their personal beliefs and decide what's right for the country as a whole, while adhering to the laws in place.

**** you for de-railing Ren and Stimpy.

 

[sinewave]

**** you for de-railing Ren and Stimpy.

that was always my top goal in life. i just hate them sooooo much!

 

[Matt]

Nice way to go Mr. Moderator.

Very parental-like stance. Pawn of Satan!!! ooooooooohhh.....

Do you even read the Bible? Do even care about it? You are "pro-everything" it teaches against. And I'm Satan's pawn??

Evolution
Gay Marriage
Abortion
Pre-marital Sex

Should I keep going? I don't care if you "call" yourself a Catholic or not. But your Catholicism may explain your way of thinking. Catholics have never been strong in Bible study. Good people. But discipleship is not stressed. Actually getting in the scriptures and finding out how God wants you to live is not a priority. . Every former Catholic I've talked to has said the same things. See...I'm not calling these things "sin" on my own. The Bible calls it that and I agree with the Bible.

The bible also says it not your place to call out sinners or judge them.

I am not pro-abortion, I have voted to be pro-life in several hype polls, however I do not like the idea of the government getting involved any more than they are.

Gay marriage? I couldn't care one way or another. Not my place to judge them nor is it the government's place to tell them whether or not they can have a CIVIL marriage. Key word, civil. The government does not endorse any specific religion. To the government, gay marriage should not be looked at as a "sin." Simply the legal joining of two citizens. I would be opposed to homosexuals trying to force a church to marry them.

Pre-Marital Sex? Again, not my business what other people do. Its between them and God. I am against schools teaching abstinence exclusively as it has been proven to be ineffective and if people are going to do it anyway, they may as well be safe as opposed to having tax payers pick up the burden of providing for their child and/or medical care.

Evolution? Believe it or not, the Bible does not have to be taken as a literal thing. For example, God created the concept of Day and Night on the first day, but did not create light, the sun, the moon, or stars until Day 4. Sounds like a pretty big contradiction to me. Afterall, how can one exisit without another. Especially since the concept of day and night are measured by the Earth's rotation around the sun. Again, it doesn't have to be literal...7 days can be metaphorical for 150 billion years, genius.

Lets talk about your beliefs. Jesus was an avid pacifist. He taught against violence. Yet you have condoned your father's child abuse towards yourself and other children. The most defensless of all creatures. How sad.

 

[Carcharodon]

Nice way to go Mr. Moderator.

Very parental-like stance. Pawn of Satan!!! ooooooooohhh.....

Do you even read the Bible? Do even care about it? You are "pro-everything" it teaches against. And I'm Satan's pawn??

Evolution
Gay Marriage
Abortion
Pre-marital Sex

Should I keep going? I don't care if you "call" yourself a Catholic or not. But your Catholicism may explain your way of thinking. Catholics have never been strong in Bible study. Good people. But discipleship is not stressed. Actually getting in the scriptures and finding out how God wants you to live is not a priority. . Every former Catholic I've talked to has said the same things. See...I'm not calling these things "sin" on my own. The Bible calls it that and I agree with the Bible.

I'm going to have sex with my non-wife roommate right now in your honor!

Then I'm going to go study for my test on evolutionary cell biology.

...and then I'm going to get sucked off by a transvestite named Antonio while aborting some complete stranger's baby.

It's all thanks to you, Slim! God bless.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

it's mostly because the women and the coloreds knew their place.

Truly.
If only our nation would respect the Biblical admonition for slaves to obey their masters.
And for women to **** and obey.

 

[sinewave]

Nice way to go Mr. Moderator.

Very parental-like stance. Pawn of Satan!!! ooooooooohhh.....

Do you even read the Bible? Do even care about it? You are "pro-everything" it teaches against. And I'm Satan's pawn??

Evolution
Gay Marriage
Abortion
Pre-marital Sex

Should I keep going? I don't care if you "call" yourself a Catholic or not. But your Catholicism may explain your way of thinking. Catholics have never been strong in Bible study. Good people. But discipleship is not stressed. Actually getting in the scriptures and finding out how God wants you to live is not a priority. . Every former Catholic I've talked to has said the same things. See...I'm not calling these things "sin" on my own. The Bible calls it that and I agree with the Bible.

doesn't being against gay marriage fly in the face of treating people equally? if everyone is a sinner and homosexuality is a sin, what makes it any worse than the rest of the sins and therefore makes marriage between same sex couples wrong? i really don't get it. please enlighten me.

 

[Memphis Slim]

The bible also says it not your place to call out sinners or judge them.

I am not pro-abortion, I have voted to be pro-life in several hype polls, however I do not like the idea of the government getting involved any more than they are.

Gay marriage? I couldn't care one way or another. Not my place to judge them nor is it the government's place to tell them whether or not they can have a CIVIL marriage. Key word, civil. The government does not endorse any specific religion. To the government, gay marriage should not be looked at as a "sin." Simply the legal joining of two citizens. I would be opposed to homosexuals trying to force a church to marry them.

Pre-Marital Sex? Again, not my business what other people do. Its between them and God. I am against schools teaching abstinence exclusively as it has been proven to be ineffective and if people are going to do it anyway, they may as well be safe as opposed to having tax payers pick up the burden of providing for their child and/or medical care.

Evolution? Believe it or not, the Bible does not have to be taken as a literal thing. For example, God created the concept of Day and Night on the first day, but did not create light, the sun, the moon, or stars until Day 4. Sounds like a pretty big contradiction to me. Afterall, how can one exisit without another. Especially since the concept of day and night are measured by the Earth's rotation around the sun. Again, it doesn't have to be literal...7 days can be metaphorical for 150 billion years, genius.

Lets talk about your beliefs. Jesus was an avid pacifist. He taught against violence. Yet you have condoned your father's child abuse towards yourself and other children. The most defensless of all creatures. How sad.

I won't bother blurbing each one of those. But it further underscores your lack of discipleship (biblical teaching) that is lacking in Catholicism. You should care about all of those things. Why? Because God cares about them. It is the duty of government to protect the innocent. It is wrong to have sex out of marriage. It's also strange how you don't take Genesis literally. Did you know that Jesus took Genesis "literally"???


Jesus was a pacificist?? What passage do you get that from? He called out the Pharisees and cleared the temple twice!!!


Jesus Clears the Temple

13 It was nearly time for the Jewish Passover celebration, so Jesus went to Jerusalem.

14 In the Temple area he saw merchants selling cattle, sheep, and doves for sacrifices; he also saw dealers at tables exchanging foreign money.

15 Jesus made a whip from some ropes and chased them all out of the Temple. He drove out the sheep and cattle, scattered the money changers’ coins over the floor, and turned over their tables.

16 Then, going over to the people who sold doves, he told them, “Get these things out of here. Stop turning my Father’s house into a marketplace!”

___________________________________________

Read Mark 11:12-25, the same story is also recorded in Matthew 21:12-22, where Jesus cleanses the temple a second time after cursing a fig tree. The physical fig tree wasn't prepared to minister to the Lord at His coming, and neither was the spiritual fig tree, Israel. Jesus cursed the unproductive, physical fig tree, the spiritual fig tree called down a curse upon themselves (Mat. 27:25). The physical properties of the earth are ours to command if we have the faith, but relationships need forgiveness.

Jesus Criticizes the Religious Leaders

1 Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples,

2 “The teachers of religious law and the Pharisees are the official interpreters of the law of Moses.

3 So practice and obey whatever they tell you, but don’t follow their example. For they don’t practice what they teach.

4 They crush people with unbearable religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden.


5 “Everything they do is for show. On their arms they wear extra wide prayer boxes with Scripture verses inside, and they wear robes with extra long tassels.
6 And they love to sit at the head table at banquets and in the seats of honor in the synagogues.
7 They love to receive respectful greetings as they walk in the marketplaces, and to be called ‘Rabbi.’

8 “Don’t let anyone call you ‘Rabbi,’ for you have only one teacher, and all of you are equal as brothers and sisters.

9 And don’t address anyone here on earth as ‘Father,’ for only God in heaven is your spiritual Father.

10 And don’t let anyone call you ‘Teacher,’ for you have only one teacher, the Messiah.
11 The greatest among you must be a servant.

12 But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.
13 “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees.

14 Hypocrites! For you shut the door of the Kingdom of Heaven in people’s faces. You won’t go in yourselves, and you don’t let others enter either.

15 “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you cross land and sea to make one convert, and then you turn that person into twice the child of hell you yourselves are!

16 “Blind guides! What sorrow awaits you! For you say that it means nothing to swear ‘by God’s Temple,’ but that it is binding to swear ‘by the gold in the Temple.’

17 Blind fools! Which is more important—the gold or the Temple that makes the gold sacred?

18 And you say that to swear ‘by the altar’ is not binding, but to swear ‘by the gifts on the altar’ is binding.

19 How blind! For which is more important—the gift on the altar or the altar that makes the gift sacred?

20 When you swear ‘by the altar,’ you are swearing by it and by everything on it.

21 And when you swear ‘by the Temple,’ you are swearing by it and by God, who lives in it.

22 And when you swear ‘by heaven,’ you are swearing by the throne of God and by God, who sits on the throne.

23 “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are careful to tithe even the tiniest income from your herb gardens, but you ignore the more important aspects of the law—justice, mercy, and faith. You should tithe, yes, but do not neglect the more important things.

24 Blind guides! You strain your water so you won’t accidentally swallow a gnat, but you swallow a camel!

25 “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and self-indulgence!

26 You blind Pharisee! First wash the inside of the cup and the dish,
and then the outside will become clean, too.

27 “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs—beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones and all sorts of impurity.

28 Outwardly you look like righteous people, but inwardly your hearts are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness.

29 “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you build tombs for the prophets your ancestors killed, and you decorate the monuments of the godly people your ancestors destroyed.

30 Then you say, ‘If we had lived in the days of our ancestors, we would never have joined them in killing the prophets.’

31 “But in saying that, you testify against yourselves that you are indeed the descendants of those who murdered the prophets.
32 Go ahead and finish what your ancestors started.
33 Snakes! Sons of vipers! How will you escape the judgment of hell? 34 “Therefore, I am sending you prophets and wise men and teachers of religious law. But you will kill some by crucifixion, and you will flog others with whips in your synagogues, chasing them from city to city.

35 As a result, you will be held responsible for the murder of all godly people of all time—from the murder of righteous Abel to the murder of Zechariah son of Barachiah, whom you killed in the Temple between the sanctuary and the altar.

36 I tell you the truth, this judgment will fall on this very generation.



Jesus clearly showed righteous anger when warranted.

 

[The Chairman]

Slim, I am a devout, lifetime Catholic and I am going to be very blunt about this as someone needs to tell you.

You are not a Christian. You are a pawn of Satan. You use God's name to spread hate and discord. You ignore the teachings of Jesus Christ, the one and only son of God. The one who taught us "Let he who is without sin" cast the first stone. Judgement is reserved for God alone. Not for you to tell gay people that they are sinners or that Muslims are going to hell. You have been decieved by Satan. He has turned Jesus' teachings against you. But I do not blame you. I blame your old man. You have admitted that you were beaten pretty severely as a child for events as small as getting a C in fourth grade. This has likely caused you to turn to the Bible...and yet the hatred inside you has essentially allowed yourself and your beliefs to be manipulated into more hatred.. I feel a great swell of pity for you.

The amount of win in this post is beyond comprehension. One of the greatest posts ever thought out, typed out and posted in this thread or on this site in general.

 

[The Chairman]

Also, homosexuality is barely in The Bible. It's in their twice out of thousands of pages, both in the NT, which also condemns eating shrimp and wearing mixed fabrics, neither of which is believed by Christians these days.

 

[chaseter]

Slim, I am a devout, lifetime Catholic and I am going to be very blunt about this as someone needs to tell you.

You are not a Christian. You are a pawn of Satan. You use God's name to spread hate and discord. You ignore the teachings of Jesus Christ, the one and only son of God. The one who taught us "Let he who is without sin" cast the first stone. Judgement is reserved for God alone. Not for you to tell gay people that they are sinners or that Muslims are going to hell. You have been decieved by Satan. He has turned Jesus' teachings against you. But I do not blame you. I blame your old man. You have admitted that you were beaten pretty severely as a child for events as small as getting a C in fourth grade. This has likely caused you to turn to the Bible...and yet the hatred inside you has essentially allowed yourself and your beliefs to be manipulated into more hatred.. I feel a great swell of pity for you.

Matt the MOD, delivering Truth, Justice, and the Hype Way

 

[chaseter]

Also, homosexuality is barely in The Bible. It's in their twice out of thousands of pages, both in the NT, which also condemns eating shrimp and wearing mixed fabrics, neither of which is believed by Christians these days.

Not my mixed fabrics collection that I wear to Red Lobster

 

[Midnyte_Sun]

When do Christians do this?? And please don't go back to the Crusades. Tell me where on this planet is this type of thing happening?

The gospel is how this message is spread. The Christian God does not want a relationship by force. Show me a Christian missionary making someone convert by force. You are always given a choice to reject or accept the gospel.

Just on the news the other day they talked about the "the Father of "Palestinian Terrorism" and he isn't Muslim, but Christian. His name was George Habash, he was the founder of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP).

Terrorism isn't isolated to one group of people or to one faith. Zionists used terrorism against the British to attain Israel. The Lords Resistance Army in Africa is a Christian militia group responsible for rape, torture, mutiliation, human trafficking and every other human rights crime that the the UN has laws for. Its not faith or a Bible, or a Koran that does this. Its about POWER, its about CONTROL, its about certain people forcing others to do their will through FEAR and INTIMIDATION.

This has been going on for thousands of years. The Bible says to stone unchaste women and kill gays, but we don't believe that today do we? Nobody is out there promoting that and theres a reason for that...people just don't believe that anymore.

Now the parts of the Bible we promote are the ones promoting peace, love for Jesus, and so forth. The same goes for radical Islam, its a reactionary movement based on socio-political conflicts due to Post-Colonial headaches.

You can see a clear pattern of political upheavel in post-colonial countries: Iraq, Iran, Lebanon, British Palestine (ie. Israel/Palestine), the Balkans, African nations (pick one), Pakistan, Afghanistan (even though Afghanistan was never defeated by Colonial and Imperial forces, this has left the country political and geographically polarized and isolated).